I couldn't help but ask. "Are you sure we should be doing this?"

Ino rolled those bold blue eyes at me, calling me a chicken with a simple look. Sakura also spoke up, stuttering at first. "H-he has a point, Ino. What if your dad comes up here and finds out what we're doing?"

Ino brought herself to her feet, crossing the room to lock her bedroom door. "There. You little babies feel a little safer now?"

I raised my hand gingerly. "I mean… not really. Your father is quite a formidable ninja; a locked door couldn't stop him from entering this room if he really wanted to."

Ino smirked. "I'm pretty sure he learned his lesson the last time he broke down my door. I was a little too loud while Choji used his family jutsu on me." She paused, biting her lip, as if she was starting to vividly remember all that happened. "I guess Dad thought I was in pain and broke down my door. Trust me… he's not going to make that mistake ever again." She giggled manically.

Sakura looked as though she had no idea what she was referring to. "Uh... What exactly do you mean? Why would you let Choji crush you with his Human Boulder Technique?"

Ino started cackling and Sakura turned to look at me utterly confused. I could feel my face get hot and most likely bright red. I bit my lip, hard. "Lee? Can you explain?" Ino's laughing only got louder and I felt like I was on the verge of falling apart, too. I didn't want to laugh in the face of my true love, so I did what I could to keep my composure as I answered.

"Well… uh, you see, Sakura… Choji has the ability to enlarge his entire body. You know, the Akamichi's Partial Expansion Jutsu. He can also isolate any part of his body and increase its size while keeping the rest of him normal. Like in the Chunin exams the second time around, he fought against Kiba and beat him with a mighty blow of his giant fist?"

Sakura scratched her chin, deep in thought. "I do remember that now. But I still don't follow?" I went silent, mortified if I'm being honest. Ino rolled her eyes and slapped both of her palms against Sakura's crossed knees.

"He's saying I let Choji stick his giant dick inside me, Billboard Brow!" She started rolling around the floor of her room, unable to contain her mirth. Sakura was clearly horrified.

"Holy shit, Ino… How big was it? Why would you put yourself through that? He could've torn you apart!"

What a horrifying mental image! I shook my head trying to banish it from my immediate thoughts.

"Calm down, Sakura. I'm fine. He didn't overdo it or anything. He'd heard I was a bit of a size queen and helped me scratch an itch. That's why he's one of my best friends. It was honestly… awesome. Total husband material for sure." She uncrosses and crosses her legs, sighing as if she was still reminiscing fondly of how it all unfolded.

"I don't know, I keep imagining him making it the size his fist was during the exams… I guess I'm just freaking myself out."

Ino stood up and walked over to her dresser. "Well, this is no time for freaking out, my dear friends. Tonight is for decompressing. We're here to relax." She pulled a purple ceramic bottle out of her underwear drawer, a purple thong hanging off the neck of the bottle. She flung it unceremoniously into my lap, causing me to scramble to get as far away from her panties as possible. I didn't want to chance Sakura caving my head in for merely being in the presence of her best friend's underwear. Ino chuckled darkly before she came to sit criss-crossed on the floor in front of Sakura and me. She ran her hand back and forth along the length of the bottle absent-mindedly. It looked as though Sakura couldn't help but stare at the movement, her green eyes focused entirely on Ino's hands. "This is sake brewed by the Yamanaka Clan. It's infused with floral herbs. Just a little sip will have you feeling lighter than air… it tastes as good as it feels, too." She purred, starting to pour the sake into three ceramic cups.

I shook my head vehemently. "I appreciate the offer, Ino, but I have strict orders from my sensei to not partake in alcohol! It only takes a little to get me intoxicated, and I'm afraid I'll probably try to challenge you two ladies to a fight and your dad will come up and kill me." The thought of Ino's father taking me to the Intel Division to pick apart my crude mind, before leaving him at Ibiki's mercy sent an icy chill through my body.

Fuck that.