This fanfiction will contain some dark themes, mature moments, and triggers so be warned and read at your own risk.
((Chapter lengths vary from chapter to chapter. It depends on how much free time and inspiration, I have when I am writing. ))
Chat Noir landed with a soft thump on the beam. He walked excitedly towards his partner, having a joyful skip in his step. Today had been a good day. Father had allowed him to spend time with his friends, Nino and Max, today after school and let him invited Luka over for a boy's night as it was dubbed. It was only getting better for him by being allowed to see his Lady this evening.
"Hello, my dear lady!" the boy's voice chirped loudly as he stopped behind her, smile splitting across his face. "Are you ready for pa-" The leather clad hero trailed off, seeing how silent his partner was. Too silent.
He knew that his superhero persona, Chat Noir, was known as a funny and incompetent sidekick of Ladybug, but he was opposite. The blonde haired superhero may have deal orientated like his red suited partner but he did know his partner's behavior. Ladybug always held a presences that seemed to fill a small space they normally occupied for their meeting spot before patrol. However, tonight everything felt wrong to him.
That was why he stopped talking mid-word. His green eyes land on his quiet partner. Ladybug, his lady, curled up in a tight ball as if she is trying to hide herself from sight. Seeing her so distant and withdrawn, worried him. She didn't even notice him as the leather clad hero approached her.
"My Lady..?" Chat Noir felt worried. This was not what he had experience with. His experience was him being withdrawn when the models got to grabby for his liking or his senses got overloaded when he was under stress. "Is there anything I can...?"
This is all my fault. Its fall my fault...
"Buggaboo?" Chat Noir whispers, careful not to startle her. "Buggaboo?"
He stood there, waiting. The leather clad hero would give his partner all the time that was needed. There would be no rushing her or evening forcing an answer out of her. But as the minutes dragged by, Chat Noir felt his patience withering.
Careful not to alert her of his actions, he sits down beside her, carefully scooting forward until he is close enough to couch her. Raising his hand and gently gripping onto His Lady's shoulder, Chat Noir was not prepared for her sudden intake of breath or body pulling away. Nor was the Black Cat Miraculous wearer prepared for the unpleasant odor that seemed to roll off of her or how her suit went from a light shade of red to a deep burgundy and her spots a light silver.
Recognizing the protective measures the spotted heroine was doing, he pulled back. "Ladybug?" he said gently, shocked and worried. The last time he had seen these protective measures was when Troublemaker almost revealed her identity or when Dark Owl had trapped them in a storage container filling with cream. However with those situations, he knew there was a proper cause but now he did not know what happen or the cause. All he could do was be there for His Lady.
"My Lady!" he said, raising his voice a slight octave. "It's me. I didn't mean to startle you."
Just as he finishes talking, everything snaps back. The harsh smell and bright colors fade away only for the shaken and frightened partner to remain. "Minou," she gasped, tormented bluebell eyes darkening with shame. "I-I'm sorry, Kitty. I thought it was someone else."
"Don't apologize," Chat Noir scolded gently, stomach twisting nervously. Normally, it was Ladybug who was comforting him after he faced off against his father or older brother now the roles were reversed and Buggaboo needed him. "You don't need to put on a brave front, M'Lady. What is going on?"
"Nothing," she said quickly, getting to her feet and eyes looking around as if she was looking for an escape route. "Nothing for you to worry about, Chat Noir..." Grabbing her yo-yo from her waist, she prepared to leave. "I must be going. My parents will checking on me sometime soon..."
"M'Lady," Chat Noir said, watching as Ladybug swung off from the Eiffel Tower and left.
Dumbfounded and worried, he wondered what caused his partner to get like this and if he should go after her.
"What am I going to do, Tikki!" Marinette Dupain-Cheng cried, gripping tightly onto her two pigtails in desperation. The fourteen-years-old bit her tongue to keep herself from screaming. She couldn't let her negative emotions consume her. If they did, she could be a perfect champion for Hawk Moth. "Tikki," she all but wailed, turning to face her crimson sprite. "What do I do? Please tell me what I should do!"
Her small sprite, a magical creature called a Kawami, looked up from where she was eating a pastry. Settling it on her mattress, a black velvet cat bed, she took a moment to judge her Chosen's appearance before responding. "Just take a deep breathe, Mari," she squeaked, trying to reassure her. There were times that the teen let her imagination run wild or her anxiety to take control. "Remember that you are not alone. You can handle going back to France Dupont this year. Just remember that you are Ladybug and faced off against Hawk Moth and Mayrua."
That thought calmed Marinette down for a brief pause. Then she recalled the brittle friendship that she and her classmates had. Ever since Lila and her older friend, Neith Heres, had spread rumors about her, they had drifted apart. Her only good school friends now where Marc and Chloe. Even though she had the support of those two, there was still the lingering fear that Neith and Lila would overpower the brittle bond that remained intact.
Mari felt her stomach drop and a spasm grip her throat. Eyes tearing up, she dropped to the ground, hiding her face in her knees. "I am so screwed,' she cried in terror. "Tikki, they are going to win!"
Puffing her cheeks, the small crimson Kawami shot up from where she sat on her mattress. Giving her Chosen a hard stare with her wide blue eyes, she opened her mouth to speak but got ignored as Marinette rambled on.
"They are going to push all my friends away from me! And then, Marc and Chloe are going to be on their side! Than..than..than..Then I will be friendless in the school!"
Floating closer to her rambling Chosen, Tikki stared at her. Attenta twitching, she seized ahold of one part of Mari's collar as she pulled her forward, nearly causing her to stumble forward. "You need to take a deep breath, Marinette Yuki Dupain-Cheng," she cried. "You can't let your negative feelings take ahold of you! Think and be positive!"
Tikki gave her one more tug, giving her Chosen one hard look.
"I know, Tikki. I won't let Hawk Moth corrupt me," she said softly, taken a step back. She had never seen Tikki get so worked up before.
Nodding, the crimson Kawami floated back to her cat pillow, settling down to finish her breakfast. With her Chosen preoccupied calming down, she allowed herself a few brief moments of silence and bliss before leaving the Dupain-Cheng bakery to head out for Marinette's first day of ninth grade at France Dupont High School.
Resting her back against her desk chair, Marinette rested her forehead on her hands, taking a few deep breathes to calm herself. Today would be like any other first days of school. She would catch up with her friends and complain about getting up before noon like they had grown accustomed to. Or shocked and shy to talk to the opposite gender after how they changed over the three month span of summer vacation.
Today was just going to be like any normal day. She had nothing worry about.
"Marinette!" her mother, Sabine Cheng, called from down in the kitchen. "You need to hurry up, darling! If you don't worry, you'll be late for your first day back at school."
"I will be down in a few minutes, Maman!" Getting to her feet, she grabbed her school bag and clutch, allowing Tikki to fly inside before heading down to the kitchen. Once walking in, she saw her mother making breakfast and her father preparing some dough for pastries later that day.
"Good morning, sweetheart," her father, Tom Dupain, said, looking up from his task. "Did you have trouble sleeping? I saw your light was on when I got up to start preparing to open the bakery at four."
Replying sleepily to her father, she settled down on the stool that stood between the spots where her parents sat. "I had a bad dream," the fourteen-years-old mumbled, stifling a yawn. "Nothing to worry about, Papa."
"Everything will be okay, sweetie," her mother promised, gently gripping her face as she sat the plate of food in front of her. "Now eat up so that you aren't late for your first day back at school."
"I hope Marc and Chloe are in my class," she mumbled, pushing around the food with her fork. "With them in my class, I will have at least two good people I trust beside me."
"What about Adrien?" Tom asked. "You spent quite a few days with him here or his place."
"He's going to a private boarding school," she said, shoulders slumping at the thought. "It's in Paris so he gets to go home after classes and his father wants him to make better ranked friends."
Glancing at each other, Sabine spoke first. "I'll call his assistant to see if he can come over sometime next week," she promised, sighing as she took her daughter's untouched plate. "Now you better head out or you will be late for school."
"Yes, Maman," the black-blue haired Chinese-French teen said with a sullen sigh. "I won't be home during lunch. Chloe invited Marc and I to her father's hotel. There is a new Jagged Stone album coming out and we want to listen to the songs together."
"That is fine, dear," Tom said, pressing a kiss tenderly onto her forehead before she dashed down the stairs and across the street towards her school.
Upon crossing the line onto France Dupont campus, she slowed down, began to clutch tighter onto her clutch. Glancing down briefly at her Kawami, she forced herself to move deeper into enemy territory. There would be no telling what Neith and Lila had up their sleeves after having three long months of free time to do so.
It would take all the courage that being Ladybug to give her to keep going to France Dupont. That was her first mistake.
Her second was being optimistic and believing that this year would be different.
Her third mistake was not directly going to find Chloe and Marc before class started or finding a way to sit with them during class.
The first week back at school was what broke her. And it took months for her old self to return.
Monday had started out okay. She had decided not to track down her friends since they were probably arriving later than she was. Instead, she went straight to Miss Bustier's class so she could get a seat in the front, reminding herself that she was her Ladybug. If she could face off against Akuma victims on a daily basis, she could handle with what Neith and Lila did to her.
That was her first mistake which led to her second mistake.
She often wondered, when looking back, if she had just taken the extra few minutes to wait for her two friends if everything had turned out differently. If they were there would have the two tormenters done what they did? Or would she be braver to speak to someone about it with their support?
Entering the classroom, she found almost every seat filled except for one with Lila and Neith and the other one in the back. Ever since Neith joined the class, there had been an odd number of students and one pair of partners were forced to add an extra person. Starting to make her way towards the back, she was stopped by her teacher.
"Why don't you switch it up this year?" Her teacher, Miss Caline Bustier, suggested with a kind smile. "You always sit with Marc and Chloe and I know you aren't that close to Neith and Lila like with the others. So, why don't' you sit with them this year?"
"I..I.." The black-blue haired teen stammered, nervously glancing towards her tormenters. "I guess," she said, shoulders slumping as she moved over to them, giving up.
That was her third mistake. This was the one that led to everything taking a down spiral.
Taking the area between them, she tried to scrunch down to make herself small as possible. There wasn't enough room to keep her school bag beside her like normal so it was on the outside. The one thing she refused to place out of her grasp was her clutch with Tikki inside. Her clutch and Tikki would remain on her lap where she could grip it with a near death grip to prevent anyone from stealing it from her.
The first time it happened, she barely noticed it. All that she noticed was a brief pressure against the side of her jeans. Looking up, she saw nothing out of the ordinary. Chalking it up to her imagination, she turned her attention back to the board, not wanting to miss any part of the lesson.
It was the second time that caught her attention. Instead of being on the outside of her leg, a hand brushed on the inside, causing her to let out a low squeak and freeze. Trembling, she glanced down and saw Neith giving her a low smirk at the position she was in.
"Please stop," she whimpered, hands shaking as she fought not to burst out into tears. "Please, stop touching me..."
"For now," Lila whispered sneeringly into her ear. "You will learn your place, Dupain-Cheng. One way or another."
"We will break you," Neith added, smirking. "After we get done with you, nobody will want to be your friend anymore. After all nobody wants to be associated with someone who is broken."
Hand shooting into the air, Marinette was quickly call upon by her teacher. Stammering out a question of using the bathroom, she hurried out of the classroom. Once out in the hallway, she allowed herself to slow down her swift gate to a slow stumble. Now she was away from her two tormenters, Mari let herself break down.
"Tikki," she sobbed once in a stall, burying her face into her hands. "Please make them stop! Please tell them to stop!"
"OH, Marinette," the red sprite whispered, pressing reassuringly into her cheek. "I am so sorry. But there is nothing that I can do. You need to tell someone. Tell Miss Bustier or your two friends. Someone will know what to do."
Looking at her Kawami, she blinked her watery eyes. Telling someone could do some good but if they chalked it up to some childish fantasy, there was no telling what they would do. It was that unknown factor that scared her. Hiding her face once more, the blue-black haired teen shook her head. There was no way she was telling anyone. It was much too dangerous.
Tuesday was worse than Monday. The harassment from Neith and Lila had moved from touching to comments that made her blush and feel sick to her stomach. They spoke of awful things that they wanted to do to her and how they weren't going to give her a choice when the time came. So when the bell rang, she had never been so relieved for Chloe to make some ridicules excuse why she, Marc, and her were needed at the hotel for the lunch period. That was the brief hour she needed to recollect herself and keep herself positive minded so Hawk Moth couldn't take that to his advantage.
But after getting seated for the afternoon subjects, she felt like throwing up again. The pair of tormenters went back to their harassment and pushing her closer and closer to her edge. It wasn't until the last period that it finally reached its peak.
She had been reaching over to grab something from her pencil case when she felt brush against her chest. Jolting back in terror, Marinette tried to hide her horror as tears filled the corners of her eyes. Seeing Tikki gave her enough reassurance to stay for the last fifteen minutes of science class and put up with the unwelcomed touches of her desk mates.
Once the bell rang, she gave a quick and rushed good bye to her friends before going back to her bedroom where she could burst into tears and cry until she patrolled with her partner, Chat Noir, that evening.
He was one of the few things that kept her pushing forward. And she was not going to let her thoughts get tainted by the thoughts or mentions of what Lila and Neith put her through the past two school days.
Wednesday was easier than the last two days. With Lila absent, she had more room to get away from Neith and had an easier time to focus on classes. That still didn't stop the lewd comments, touching, and now smacks on her butt or little kisses on her cheeks when no one was looking.
The only golden was the unexpected visit from Adrien and them spending a few hours catching up and playing video games before dinner. Then, him helping her with some school work before they had to depart ways.
With that brief visit from her friend and some soothing words from Tikki, she found herself hoping that tomorrow would be better. There was no way it could get worse than it was now.
Thursday was the day when the thin ground she was standing on was shattered. The day started off pretty well. Somehow Marc had persuaded Ms. Bustier for him to trade seats with Marinette so he could get a better look at the board. Sitting beside Chloe, being able to sit at the very edge of the bench for a quick get away, and allowed to put her school bag between them, she felt normal again. Like there was nothing that could hurt her.
However, that all changed when she arrived to school early from lunch and went to use the bathroom. Exiting from one of the stalls, she went over to the bathroom sink to wash her hands. Lost in her own thoughts, the fourteen-years-old did not notice two certain people entering the restroom until she found herself locked in the stall with them.
It happened too fast for her to truly realize what had happened until much later. All she knew that was her clutch had been thrown across the bathroom store and she was pinned at an awkward angle with her back on top of the toilet and her head pressed against the wall of her stall. With her pinned down and her clothes being thrown to the floor, it felt like hours had slipped by rather it was only a few mere minutes before they sneered and left, leaving the black-blue haired teen broken and shattered.
Robotically and stiffly, Marinette gathered her clothes up and got dress. By the time she tracked down her clutch and scrubbed her arms and face, the teen was late for her first period after lunch. Surprisingly when she rushed into the classroom, her teacher, strict Ms. Mendeleiv, didn't call her out for being tardy or send her to detention for being thirty minutes late for class.
She didn't know what gave her strength to push through to the rest of the period or how nobody noticed the way she flinched when anyone looked at her. It wasn't until after school that day that someone noticed her behavior.
It had been Alya who cornered her before she could leave to the safety of her parent's bakery.
At first, she thought that maybe she could tell her. Even though their bond was close to cracking, Alya knew Marinette and how her behavior was odd for her.
But after just saying that Neith and Lila were making her uncomfortable, the redhead had gotten a sour look on her face and told her to knock it off. She had come to talk to her about how Neith and Lila had come to her one day about how she completely ignored them when they were trying to be nice. Giving her one displeasing look, she slipped past her and left her alone to break beneath the sorrow that settled on her shoulders.
Friday was the worse day of all.
The moment she stepped into the classroom, Alya and Alix trapped her beside the entrance as the door was close by another person. Trapped and desperate for an escape, Marinette felt her chest tighten and her legs start to sway. "W-w-what's going on?" she stammered, squeezing her eyes shut as the scraping of nails against her bare skin washed through her. "P-p-please tell me what is going on?"
"How could you!" Alya gave her a furious look, causing the shorter girl to let out a low whine at her furious temper. It was rare for her red haired friend to release her anger on the people she cared for but when she did, the person on the receiving end was not going to get off easy. "What is wrong with you?!"
"I never thought you could be like that," Alix pipped in, blue eyes set ablaze. "I thought you would never hurt someone like that!"
"W-what..?" She was left confused, head swimming as she struggled to keep herself standing. Was there some misunderstanding? Did they hear her crying or begging the twin tormentors to leave her alone and take it the wrong way? What did she do to cause them to turn against her?
From behind Alix and Alya, a voice added in, "You deserve to go to hell, Marinette," the person snapped. "That is where people like you deserve to go! After what you did to Neith and Lila!"
Pressing herself more against the wall, she pleaded for anyone to stand up and say that what is going on is complete bullshit. How could someone soft spoken and quiet as she do something that deserved to go to hell?
"Please.." she began tin a whimper, eyes filling with tears
"Save it, Marientte!" Alya slams her hands on either side of her, trapping her and causing her breathe to trap inside her throat. "They told us everything. How you touched them without permission, hitting them, and the lewd comments! They weren't going to say anything because they were scared of you doing something! It wasn't until Rose and Juleka talking to them that they revealed what you did to them. How you forced yourself onto them and defiled them, giving them many years of trauma!"
"Y-y-you don't," was all she managed to force out before her legs gave out and the two girls stepped back, cackling at how their youngest classmate trembled and dug her fingernails into her palms.
"Don't play dumb," warned Alix. "You are lucky that they aren't going to press charges against you so your future won't be ruined. But you are no longer my friend. You are too cruel to even be considered someone that I saw as a very close friend."
"Leave me alone!" she pleaded, sobbing as she curled up into a ball. "I didn't do what you are saying! Please you have to believe me! I am innocent!"
Closing her eyes shut, Marinette shivered. This was exactly what Neith and Lila had wanted. They had warned her last year that she would pay for getting in their way. Now, she was paying the price.
"Stop it!" a voice cut in as a pair of arms wrapped beneath her harms, hauling her to her feet and brining her close to their chest. "Can't you see that she is in tears? What kind of people are you that you will attack a person who is unable to defend themselves!"
Clutching onto her protector's chest and dampening their shirt, Marinette could hear the chorus of protests from her classmates. It wasn't hard for her to hear all of it but what little she heard broke her more.
"I never thought.."
"…predator in the making.."
"…lucky they aren't pressing charges…"
"We'll remember this.."
"She got it coming for what she did to Neith and Lila."
"She's lucky we didn't go to a teacher about this?"
"She could get expelled for this!"
"How dare you!" The blonde hair of Chloe appeared in her line of sight. "How dare you act like that? How many times has she gone out of her way to help us or that would benefit the class!" Lifting her head up into the air, she gave a loud "hmph" sound. "Ridiculous!" she growled. "Utterly ridiculous. Marc, get her out of here. Take her somewhere they won't be able to find you two. I'll keep them away from you."
"On it," replied the person now holding his friend in his arms. "Let's go, Mari. We'll find a place far away from them."
After the prodding of her mother to take a nap and sleeping sleepily for a few hours, Marinette woke up sobbing and whimpering soft pleas for them to leave her alone. It took a moment to realize that she was not in the girl's bathroom but rather in her own bedroom and nobody was there except for Tikki. Still, she drew her knees close to her chest and let the tears come to her eyes.
"Tikki," she sniffled, not daring to look up at her Kawami. There was no way that she could possibly face the look of disappointment on her Kwami's face. If only she had fought harder or followed her advice to tell someone she trusted so that Neith and Lila could have been stopped. Would she demand for her to give up the Ladybug Miraculous and it be given to another person? "I-I."
"No.." Tikki floated over to her, pressing a handle hand on the tip of her nose. "Don't apologize, Mari. You have nothing to be sorry for. What they did to you was wrong? And it is those two girls who deserve to burn in hell, not you."
"I don't want to go back," she whispered, voice barely above a hushed whisper. "Please, Tikki. Don't let my parents make me go back. Please make them let me transfer to a new school.."
Tikki blinked her eyes sadly. There was nothing she could do about that except be there to support her Holder and promise that one day everything would be better. All she had to do was pull out her inner Ladybug and stand strong.
"TIKKI!" The high pitched, panic voice of Holder caused her to freeze. "PLEASE DO SOMETHING! I'm scared to go back there.."
Tikki froze as she spun around, prepared to say no once more but froze with what he saw.
Her Holder, little, delicate and fragile Marinette curled up in a ball on her side as she clutched onto her Chat Noir doll, pleading into its yarn hair to protect her and not to desert her like she expected. Tears stained her blue cotton pajamas top and puddled around her cheeks. With each sob, her breath let out a low crackle, her chest barely moving. With her free hand, she holds onto her quilt from her Grandmother. It seems only the Chat Noir doll and the quilt were the only thing that holds her together.
"Alright.." Tikki let out a low snarl, her blue eyes glowing with fury. "That is it!" Flying over to Marinette, she pressed her head gently against her cheek. "I promise, Mari, you will never have to back there. I will not allow this! I will personally speak to your parents if it comes to that..."
"B-b-but the secret identity," she protested weakly. "You said that I can't tell anyone."
"Its last resort," she explained. "I have my ways to persuade them. But now, it's time for patrol, Little Bug."
"I don't wanna," she whimpered, looking at her pleadingly. "Chat can handle one patrol by himself. He knows that sometimes that my civilian life interferes with me patrolling with him. Please don't make me, Tikki. I just want to say here tonight."
Normally, Tikki would agree with her. However, after going through this stress filled weak and toxic school environment that shattered her, the small crimson Kawami knew that some sense of routine and normalcy would benefit her. This was the one time that she would go against her Holder's wishes and push her to go as planned.
"I know you don't want to go, Little Bug," she began gently. "But Chat Noir needs you for patrol and you know that too, Mari. Now let's transform and head out..."
"Okay.." Marientte rose to her feet and whispered, "Tikki, Spots on," in a shaky voice. Engulfed by a bright burst of red light, she prepared to leave.
As she gathered the few items that she normally brought on Friday night patrols, Ladybug knew that tonight's patrol would be different than others. It was going to be awful. Chat always knew how to tell if someone was giving her trouble or if something was bothering her. She was scared that he would find out about what Neith and Lila had done and would abandon her like all her classmates.
After all, she was known as their "Every Day Ladybug" who helped them remain positive and lower the risk of akumatization. If they saw her as their everyday Ladybug and still turned on her, how didn't she know if Chat Noir would do the same? Or would he remain by her side like the partner he was?
It was too scary for her to think about. So instead, she threw herself in hurrying through her pre-patrol routine like normal.
Glancing one more time through all the items in her patrol bag, Ladybug put the pillows in place on her bed and turned the light off. If her parents came to check on her at night, they would see the sleeping form of the pillows and assume that she went to sleep earlier than normal after having an "excitable" day at school today. "I'll be back soon, Kitty," she said to her stuffed Chat Noir doll. Pressing her forehead into its yarn hair, the fourteen-years-old tucked it under the covers to make it look exactly like when she was asleep. Careful not to disturb her slumbering parents below her bedroom, she opened her skylight and climbed out of her bedroom.
Closing the skylight behind and turning to face the landscape of Paris at night, she paused, shivering at the cold that pricked at her skin. Taking a deep breathe to calm the thumping of her heart, she put her patrol bag on her back and grabbed her yo-yo from the belt around her waist.
'You can do this, Marinette,' she thought to herself, beginning to swing her yo-yo so she could take off and not be late for meeting up with her superhero partner. 'You just need to act normal around Chat Noir and break down once I am back in the privacy of my bedroom. Nothing to sweat about'
With one last swing, she bunched her legs together and pushed off of the railing of her balcony, swinging through the crisp, cool night air, heading towards the meeting spot where Chat Noir and her choose at the beginning of their partnership.