september - determination

Theo and Pansy skipped dinner so they could ensure their strategy session in the Slytherin dorms wouldn't be overheard. They both had to stay vigilant this year; Theo was of age but still hadn't demonstrated his loyalty by taking the Mark and the Malfoys' precarious standing was a blow to Pansy's position as well. Her father wasn't a Death Eater himself, though he fully agreed with their views. His position in business was valuable enough that he could get by with contributing influence and gold to the cause.

The Carrow twins had taken over as rulers of the House, with Crabbe and Goyle as their muscle. Flora and Hestia had been groomed to become miniature versions of their aunt and uncle since birth. Vince and Greg didn't mind that they had traded being under Draco's thumb for the twins', as long as they got to participate in the violence. Alecto had also taken a special interest in Millicent, who was eager to exact her revenge on anyone who ever ridiculed her. She no longer deferred to Pansy; in fact, Millie relished opportunities to hold her increased status over the other girl.

So Theo and Pansy had to team up to get through this year. Tracey had shut down, just like she always did at home; Draco favoured this coping strategy as well. Blaise conveniently disappeared at the right moments but could convince anyone that he'd been front and center the entire time. Salazar, Theo had envied that for years .

"I have to keep my distance from Daphne in front of the Carrows. They'll use her as leverage, just like my father did to my mum, with me," he confided in Pansy. "The Greengrasses have been paying off the Death Eaters to maintain a more neutral appearance. Daph's continued to keep the money flowing. But what if it isn't enough one day?" The question went unanswered; he knew Pansy shared similar fears. But Daphne and Theo had the additional problem of Astoria, who was unable to cope with the blows she recently sustained-most notably the knowledge that she had inherited the blood curse.

"I still think we would be better off if they never let Mudbloods like Granger into this school. But this place was supposed to be different from home. It's not ours anymore," Pansy stated.

"It's only going to get worse," he warned. "I couldn't give a toss about the welfare of Muggles and Mudbloods but this is not a cause I'm willing to die for, and believe me, it will come to that. I'm already seventeen and I can only hold out so long."

"We'll do whatever it takes," said Pansy, trying desperately to sound confident.

"Whatever it takes," he echoed back.

october - self-preservation

At the end of Dark Arts class, Theo turned to Macmillan, wand drawn.

"Astoria's lost the plot," he said. "So I'm going to keep her away from Daphne, and hope that she can coast on her Sacred Twenty-Eight standing until she comes to her senses. It would be better that she often ends up in Hufflepuff, instead of Slytherin where she could corrupt the younger ones with her disobedience."

"She's always been nice to our fifth-years," he said. "We won't betray her."

"Alright. This conversation never happened." Then he said loudly for the whole class to hear, "Yes, I do think it would be a brilliant idea to learn a curse that would cause a punctured lung. Sounds like the perfect topic for this essay."

Amycus gave ten points to Slytherin. Good. The Carrows were the only professors whose opinions mattered to his father anymore.

One night when they were alone in his room, Blaise showed Pansy how his school trunk had a false bottom, revealing the stash within. His latest stepfather had gone out on Death Eater raids and returned home from those houses with all sorts of spoils. Blaise had long been a connoisseur of contraband. Frequently left alone in the summers, he ventured outside into Muggle London and came back with the kind of things that would interest teenagers-dirty magazines, marijuana, cheap Muggle liquor.

But now he was showing Pansy something new. Small bottles, that opened and closed via a strange mechanism, containing tablets of various colours and shapes. He convinced Pansy to try his favourite, which he told her was pronounced "hydro-coh-dawn." It was ten times stronger than a Calming Draught with the added feeling of something that was like a Cheering Charm, but then again not really.

A better person would have delivered the pills to Gryffindor Tower; Merlin knows they could have used them for the kind of injuries the Carrows were inflicting constantly. Instead, Pansy rationed them out for when she needed to get through the day, and sometimes offered one or two to any of the Slytherins who experienced the consequences of stepping out of line. They helped her lithe frame get even thinner, which she knew in the back of her mind could become dangerous for her, but that didn't stop her. She should be elated that pureblood law and order was being restored to her world. No one else needed to know what it took to get her to a state that she hoped vaguely resembled happiness.

november - resourcefulness

Theo caught Ginny alone in the corridor, too exhausted to stop him from disarming her. He backed her up against the wall, trapping her with one hand on either side.

"Listen. When it's me, or Daphne, or Pansy, when they make us practice for Dark Arts, you will fucking scream or I swear I'll do the spells full-force and bring you back the next day for more."

"I'm not afraid of you, Nott." He slammed the wall in frustration, making her recoil.

"You should be! You should know, what I've been bred for. Trained for."

"Scared that you can't meet the Death Eater standards, yeah? In over your precious pureblood head?" she said disdainfully.

"More like trying to keep my head. If I irritate the Carrows, they'll owl my father, and then I'll have to pay for it twice." He said this looking just to the left of her, unable to meet her eyes.

Ginny touched his arm, just for a second before pulling back. He released her, because he couldn't take her looking at him like that anymore.

"Go fuck off back to you and your foolish blood traitor mates. But I want you to tell them something-when you get hit, you have to turn yourself away from it. Try to tense at first, if you can tell where it's going to land, then relax."

She nodded, and looked like she was about to say something else but stopped herself. The two students silently walked off in opposite directions.

Neville saw the two girls approaching and couldn't not make his disgust with them known. "Here comes Miss Misanthropy and the daftest excuse for a witch I've ever met," he said.

Tracey glared and raised her wand, but Pansy got there first, casting a Body-Bind.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor. Trace, you go on ahead, I want to have a chat with this one," Pansy said.

After Tracey turned her back, Pansy dragged him into an empty classroom, locked the door, and released him from the spell. "I won't curse you, but I do want to speak with you." There was a pleading in her eyes that Neville had never seen before. He narrowed his eyes, but waited to hear what she would say.

"I want your lot to leave Draco alone. He's under enough pressure as it is." Pansy paused. "The only thing that's saving him at this point is how good of an Occlumens he is. But Amycus thinks it's funny how little he can resist the Imperius Curse. Reckon he gets off on it, too."

"War is hell," responded Neville coldly. "Give me one reason why should we let him off so easily."

Pansy gave him an anguished smile, and then slowly dropped to her knees. Neville didn't understand at first, and then he did.

"No-no, I don't want that! No. For fuck's sake, Parkinson. You really are pitiful."

"Being pitiful isn't fatal, so I'll take it," the girl said as she rose to stand again. "Crabbe and Goyle are always looking for a fight, why don't you have a go at that low-hanging fruit if you want some more bruises to add to your collection. You're just as fucking mental as your-" Parents , she wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come out. She saw the flash of hurt in his eyes; he got the message anyway. "Careful, there. Don't show your hand to them like you just did to me," she snapped, and went to find Tracey.

december - cunning

Theo walked into the Muggle Studies classroom, and slammed his book on the desk next to Ginny's, making her jump.

"You look like hell; I imagine you haven't been able to complete your essay. Well, I've become a swot when it comes to this class, so I'll volunteer to share all five feet of mine aloud and ensure that I get all of Alecto's attention today."

Ginny made a noise of protest.

"Unless you want me to show off what I've been revising for Dark Arts instead," he said warningly. She shook her head, shoulders slumping a bit.

Alecto ate it up, thrilled with all of the horrible concepts Theo had managed to weave together. He continued to submit longer and longer assignments after that. His performance in Muggle Studies even reached his father, who sent him a letter full of backhanded compliments. He chucked it in the fire and turned back to his schoolwork.

No one noticed when it happened, but several genealogy books mysteriously disappeared from the Hogwarts library.

The same day, Pansy cornered Ginny and Neville outside the Gryffindor common room entrance, slashing their bags open so books and supplies spilt everywhere. She put down the box she had been carrying into the middle of the mess, cancelling the lightening spell so it landed with a large thud.

"Gather your things before you disrupt my path any further," she demanded. Then she lowered her voice. "I'm sure the Carrows would love to know just how infested the Gryffindor first-year class is, but there are no half-bloods in Slytherin," and repeated that last clause before she stalked off. It would be the last thing she ever did on Millicent Bulstrode's behalf. Pansy didn't have to question why Neville looked so confident the day he asked Alecto how much Muggle blood she had.