Annabeth

I cannot vividly remember a time of my life where he wasn't a part of it. I mean sure, like, we weren't born bff's or anything, but, honestly, the memories before the one with the cute, scrawny boy screaming for his daddy oblivious to the piqued glances and one fascinated stare, were honestly muddled.

I can remember some if I concentrate hard enough; Flashes of, a red motorbike with a carton of eggs sitting on it, chocolate ice creams and parks with the greenest grass ever, ankle rashes and haughty comments directed at my cousin, shaved heads, weathered staircases; just short glimpses . Did all the memories after him suddenly change definition and dimension? No, they didn't (obviously!) but I had more of a purpose to remember the moments I had with the fair boy who could run fast. Now more than ever. Even if my conscious screams at me to forget it, that it's better for my mentality.

I always stray from this stream of thoughts, for my own sanity, but tonight it's as if they have a mind of their own, reminding me everything that happened after.

Aside from maybe myself, the only person who had complete trust and belief in me was him. I always had confidence in my abilities. Being a star student gives you that. I doubt I would have had that confidence in me if I didn't get straight A's and was every teacher's pet.

But he was always there for me if it was to look into my eyes, his green eyes rounded and glittering with honesty and say "You will get it, obviously. You're not Wise Girl for nothing" or, naturally, to bully me into winning, whether it be maths problems or even pizza races; the photo taken at Pizza Hut, on my little brothers' birthday, both of us smiling ridiculously (with stuffed, nine year-old faces), taped onto my wall, reminded me.

He was always the constant in my life, with my stupid dynamic family and tiring school life. He was always the pillar in which I could always lean on, my best friend, my everything.

My knees buckle and I collapse onto my bed, my hands holding up my head as if the memories are too much... too heavy.

Which is why he can't just be gone. I mean he was meant to be with me right? He told me he'll never leave me! So we can't be over. No it's not possible. We were together through thick and thin. He knows I love him . He knows I will never lie to him. Him and Sally have never been less than gold to me. My own family, one in which I have been accepted and loved for all my faults for once in my life. He must trust me not that slimeball, no,that asshole. Can't he see? They all should get away from him before something, anything happens to Estelle, oh, sweet Estelle. No, all of them.

You always told me that I am your one and only true friend, Percy, that you can trust me with your life so what's different now? Please trust me not him. I can't bear this. You should be with me not with people you barely know. we are one, percy, and without you I am tearing apart. Can't you see? You can't be this stubborn! Can't you see I can't fake these tears? Don't you know?

This is crazy. I can't bear this… this bullshit.

We were meant to be one person. Not two.

The complete abandon is eating at my chest as if he tore himself from me physically.

This is too much. Too much.

Percy, please, you should trust me. Not him.

I stumble to my nightstand. Please. Me. Not him!

I jerk open the top drawer, rattling the items inside.

Please.

I grip the blade desperately, as if it's my lifeline my saviour from all these horrible truths. I bring it slashing down onto my forearm, tears streaming down my face, my chest heaving with racking sobs. All my common sense flying out the window, his voice in my head driving me nuts.

Aww c'mon Chase, it's common sense! I'm really starting to think you don't have any more of that 'cause your head is too full of math equations!

That delusional woman! Did she seriously think that cutting herself will take away her problems? What a thought!

I know right? So stupid!

It was fatal to slash across the arm than along it in danger of rupturing a vein. I knew that. Did I care? It's obvious.

Please percy. You know better than to doubt me

Please!

What's holding you back from me? Who?!

Or maybe you don't care anymore, maybe you are over me already.

Maybe I'm the oblivious one.

My tears fall to the floor, colourless, then scarlet.