Greetings! So, I had a brainstorm. Writing is my happy place. Reading is my happy place. And sadly, in the last 18 months or so, neither has happened to my satisfaction. So, I posted on my Facebook page (come find me if we aren't friends! I don't post a lot, but I'm trying to do better!) the idea of bringing back the old wit fits—or at least my version of them.

Several years ago, some wonderful people put together these wit fits with a month's worth of prompts and if you wrote a short scene using the prompt for every day, you won a blinky. It was a great creativity exercise, and I loved them (tho' I was late to the game and they ended after I only did one or two rounds)!

So, I requested prompts on Facebook and had two responses. Here's the first one, and I'll work on the second in the next day or so (DD1 has been kicked out of her dorm for the rest of the semester and is working from home. DD2 is doing High School online work for at least the next two weeks. DH is splitting time between work and work at home—there are a lot of distractions).

Should you have an idea you'd like to see me write a brief snippet on, feel free to comment with it, post on Facebook, or Google mail me (DeJeanSmith2010). FanFiction's DMs aren't sending me notifications, so I may not see them if you go that route.

On to number one…oh, and these aren't beta'd, so pardon the typos.

De Perry Giant tp pyramid collapses in Walmart and buries one of the girls and fireman Edward or whoever is called to rescue her.

Station 1918…we have a trapped person in the Walmart on Logger Highway. TP tower gone awry. Please respond.

Edward looked up from his newspaper and morning coffee and for a brief moment wondered if he had misheard the call. A quick glance over to his co-workers, Jasper and Emmett, told him they heard the same thing he did.

"A TP tower gone awry?" Jasper muttered, closing the book he had been re-reading.

"Well, guys, it is our duty to respond," Emmett replied with a smirk.

"I didn't think the stores were opening until 7 because of the pandemic," Edward said, folding the newspaper.

"Seniors and special cases get to go in early," Jasper offered, heading down the hallway to the garage.

"Well, when you gotta go," Emmett said with a grin.

Jasper and Edward rolled their eyes as they stood. Emmett, ever the prankster of the firehouse, lived for these moments and based off the twinkle in his eyes, the ride over to Walmart was going to be a doozy.

The three geared up and climbed aboard their fire truck before Jasper fired up the engine and flipped on all the lights and sirens, ensuring they could not hear Emmett and his clever bon mots regarding all things toilet related.

Three minutes later, they arrived in front of the big box store.

Edward took the point and ran inside. He was met by a frazzled man who was the recipient of an earful from a diminutive woman around his own age.

"What idiot makes a tower of…" The woman's voice trailed off as she saw the firemen approach.

"Prince Charmin is here!" Emmett announced, first aid kit in one hand.

"She's this way," store manager Mike—at least according to his askew name tag—said. "She got too close and…"

"She did no such thing!" tiny and terrifying interjected, her tennis shoes squeaking across the linoleum floor as she double timed in order to keep up.

"Ma'am, Sir, I just need the facts," Jasper replied in his most soothing tone. "We can't help if we can't get to the injured."

"Bella was pushing the cart, and I was reading the list the chief sent her when this idiot comes bolting down the aisle and crashes into us."

"Alice, if you just used our pull and pick up feature in the app, this wouldn't have happened," Mike grumbled, his face red and sweaty as they all made their way to the endcap of aisle G26. "I told the chief I would personally make sure the station's supplies would only take 4 days, not the current 7 day waiting period."

Alice stopped dead in her tracks, placed her hands on her hips and glared at Mike. Jasper, Edward, and Emmett almost felt sorry for him as she opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find the right words to put Mike in his place before deciding to growl.

"I'll deal with you later," she muttered before motioning the three firemen to follow her down the aisle.

Rounding the corner, Edward's eyes widened at the scene. From the looks of the debris, someone had created a gigantic pyramid of wooden pallets and toilet paper packages, but at one end, a shopping cart on its side, half crushed by a forklift, was the only thing keeping it from toppling completely. It was reminiscent to the beer and soda displays for the football championships he had seen while living in Chicago.

"She's under there," Alice announced, pointing to the mess.

Edward immediately jumped into action motioning for Emmett to come with him and for Jasper to man the forklift.

"I want you to hold that pallet in place while I climb under after Jasper lifts the shopping cart."

"Got it."

"Why don't you just use the forklift to get the pallets out of the way?" Mike asked.

"It's unstable," Edward responded, taking off his oxygen tank and helmet. "The whole thing could collapse and hurt …"

"Bella," Alice offered.

"Bella even more."

Several tense minutes later, the shopping cart was maneuvered out of the way and Edward slid on his belly under the packages of double ply, bonus rolls.

"So how did a forklift get involved?" he heard Emmett ask.

"James Hunter thought he could just buy a pallet of Angel Soft by sneaking into the store and using Mike's precious app," Alice replied, anxiously watching. "He thought if he just scanned and paid, he could waltz out of the store with enough TP to last until the next millennium. Thing is, he doesn't know how to drive a forklift."

"Obviously."

A groan caught Edward's ear, and he wriggled through the mass of Scott's single ply toward it. His hand touched skin. It was warm to the touch which was encouraging.

"I'm here to help."

A hoarse laugh greeted him.

"Well, I would hate to think you're here to hurt," came a whispered response.

"Can you tell me what hurts?"

"I conked my shoulder and elbow on a metal endcap on my way down, so that hurts a bit. And I think my left wrist is sprained when I tried to catch myself. I hit my head on a few packs of Ultrasoft so I think it's okay, and my pride is bruised because I'm not strong enough to get out from under toilet paper."

"It's heavier than you think. Okay. If I lift, do you think you can slide out?"

"Maybe?"

"Let's give it a try. On three."

Edward maneuvered to shield her with his body and lifted, creating a small but serviceable tunnel.

"One. Two. Three!"

Slowly, Bella shifted her weight, scooting feet first toward the direction Edward had come. Once she had cleared him, he moved to create more of a path. The sound of packages settling into the space she had once been in made Bella tense and he murmured soothing sounds and encouraged her to move toward freedom.

Once in the clear, Edward knelt next to the injured young woman and got his first good look at her while Emmett set the pallet down and grabbed the first aid kit. He immediately recognized her as Bella Swan, Chief Swan's only child. Man, it was going to suck to be James Hunter once the chief got hold of him.

"I think I'm going to install a bidet," Bella muttered. "I don't ever want to see another roll of toilet paper."

See y'all next week! Stay safe and wash your hands!

DeJean