Long Gone | MitKo
A Slam Dunk Fanfiction
sasakiarisu
The sound of the ball dribbling against the concrete pavement of a nearby basketball court rang against his eardrums. The ball was rough against his fingers, but he didn't mind. He continued to dribble the ball as he stepped into an all too familiar area and raised his arms. As he aimed and shot the ball in the air, it sunk into the ring, and soon only the bouncing of the ball can be heard.
Another three-pointer.
But Mitsui Hisashi didn't feel any bits of happiness despite that.
He took the ball once again and started moving his body as if someone was tightly defending him. He aimed for the ring and shot the ball once again, and it didn't fail to sink in. The same cycle repeated; he'll take the ball, move as if he was in an actual game, aim and shoot, then bam! Three-pointer. However, despite all his successful shots, three-pointers that never failed to go inside the ring, there was still this hole in his chest. A void that he didn't know how to fill in. He thought that maybe by playing basketball he would somehow forget, that maybe the pain will go away even if it's temporary, that maybe he would stop crossing his mind, but he was so wrong. As he shot the ball in the air once again, only one thing was running through his mind.
He was such a fucking idiot.
This time, instead of going inside the ring, the ball bounced off the rim and fell onto the ground. Mitsui sat on the pavement after that, sweat trickling down his face, energy consumed from all the movements he did before. He stared at the ball, watching it bounce up and down until it finally remained on its position. He can imagine hands grabbing that ball and dribbling it, aiming and shooting like he did, but failing to get the ball inside. Despite that, he'll keep on practicing until he gets better, and soon, the two of them will play one on one with each other until night comes.
Those memories were the best he ever had.
But they were long gone now.
You're a fucking idiot, Mitsui Hisashi, he cussed at himself, slamming his fists lightly against the rough surface. And a big fucking one for that.
His surroundings were silent. The sun didn't show up today, and only clouds hovered above him. It's as if nature was giving him time to contemplate. To think, even if it's too late to do anything now. He had wasted everything he had before. Wasted everything they had before. Maybe if he wasn't stupid enough to do it, maybe they'll still be happily playing one on one here. Maybe if he wasn't just selfish, then maybe they could've been sharing this moment together.
But he was so stupid and selfish.
Now he's gone away from him.
Kogure Kiminobu cannot be his anymore.
He remembers the first time he saw him. Back then he was hailed as the most valuable player of the tournament and the bespectacled boy was part of the audience. He remembered when they met at Shohoku. They easily became friends because of the guy's kind nature. Kogure had a likable personality that somehow managed to make him easily comfortable around him. He was the only teammate to visit him in the hospital when he had his injury. The one who kept persuading him to come back to the basketball club even if he pushed him away. And despite the two years he was gone, despite instigating the attack against the basketball club, and despite slapping him harshly, Kogure still forgave him. He accepted him back and encouraged him to do his best. He accepted him despite his past and cared for him. He made him feel loved. Kogure loved Mitsui.
But he just had to hurt him in the worst way possible.
He can remember the day his best friend confessed to him. The dark-haired guy can see from the brunet's eyes his genuine feelings. Back then, he never felt anything strong for the glasses-wearing boy, but he can't deny that there was something in him that wasn't present in the others. In a way, he was special in Mitsui's eyes, and so they ended up together. They were happy, he can see that Kogure is happy, and he was happy as well. It was the happiest he's ever been. But he just had to throw everything away. He just had to waste everything just because of his fucking ego.
And now they're gone. Lost.
He can still recall how things went south. When his friends from before challenged him to get a girl like how they did before, and taunted him about becoming a sissy after he joined the basketball club, he let his pride reign over him. He can remember walking up to some random girl in their school and flirting with her, and soon enough, they were making out. For a short while, he forgot Kogure and everything they shared, until he opened his eyes and saw him watching them. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he walked away. That moment, Mitsui knew he fucked up greatly. That moment, he knew and realized that he actually loved Kogure Kiminobu deeply, and he doesn't want to lose him.
He slammed his fists even harder on the pavement. Warm tears cascaded down his cheeks.
The leaves rustled as the wind gushed across them. The ball was long forgotten, as Mitsui silently cried to himself. How many chances has he wasted already? He wasted two years of his life by being a delinquent instead of joining the basketball club after he healed. He wasted his chance to true love and happiness when he chose to let his ego take over him instead of thinking rationally. Because of his idiocy, he gets easily tired during matches. Because of his stupidity, he lost the guy who loved him so much, who made him learn and know the feeling of being loved. Because of his foolishness, his Min-kun was now happy in the arms of another man who wasn't him.
He cannot call him Min-kun anymore.
He'll have to get used to that, but he wonders if he can.
Mitsui hoped before that maybe they can go back to what they were before. He hoped to restore everything and prove to the guy just how much he important he is to him. So when he saw him inside the fast food chain they used to frequent before, an overwhelming feeling of happiness surged into him. He felt like as if the skies had given him the chance to patch up things between the two of them. Even if it's usually the bespectacled boy who approaches first, he had taken the initiative to talk. And the guy still treated him the same; with kindness and warmth that he only felt from him. That raised his hopes up, and he thought that maybe, this was their chance to start all over.
But his hopes were shattered when he heard another voice.
Min-kun! He still remembers how he called him. The guy was handsome; he had his brown hair slicked back, thick eyebrows, beautiful chestnut eyes, and pointy nose. He was tall, possibly a little taller than him, and he looked fit like an athlete. He appeared to be really close to Kiminobu, and it turns out, he was Kogure's boyfriend, as what the guy told him. Hearing those words crushed him greatly. The hope he had was completely shattered like a glass, and that time, he felt so feeble. Weak. He used to be the one calling him Min-kun; he was the one who gave him the nickname. He used to be the one Kogure smiles brightly at whenever he hears his name being called out. He can still recall how the guy would ask him about his day. He can still feel the warmth of his embraces, of his lips as they share a kiss. He can still remember how happy they were before. Those memories felt like they just happened yesterday, as he can still recall how much they loved each other.
But those days were long gone now.
The thunders rolled, so he stood up. Wiping his tears away, he glanced back at the ball, at the ring, and at the court. Kogure Kiminobu is his happiness, but he wasn't his happiness anymore. He had his chance before to make him happy, but he let it go easily. Now, all he can do is to accept. Accept the fact that the guy he loved is finally happy with someone he deserves. Accept the fact that he wouldn't be the one to make him smile anymore. Accept the fact that what they had before, was long gone with the wind.
And Mitsui Hisashi leaves the court, vowing to move on and start anew.