“It’s Barton”, an avengers fanfic

I thought I'd write a one shot set during Avengers. I've changed some scenes, but not by much, and I've added one. Enjoy Clintasha fans.

"It's Barton, he took out our systems. He's headed for the detention lab. Does anybody copy?" I hear over my earpiece.

I sigh. I know that if I move pain will blossom in my ribs but I also know that I am the only one on this flying boat who has a chance against my partner. And I'm also the only one who won't kill him on sight. I lift my hand to my ear and whisper, tiredly "This is Agent Romanoff. I copy."

I stagger to my feet. I never will be ready to do this, to face the man I love, to see Clint's eyes blank and watch him murder his friends. I never will be ready to kill him if that is what I have to do to insure that the people on this craft live to fight another day.

I enter the Engine room silently. I close my eyes a moment to steady myself, I will never be able to do this if I am shaking like a leaf in the wind. My eyes open. But I'm not me anymore, I'm The Black Widow. Trained to kill without regret.

I sweep the catwalks with my gaze. I see him walking along a passage catwalk. I lock onto him. A moment later I am climbing up towards him. I am as silent as the spider I am named after. But as I appear he senses me behind him. He whirls, but he has miscalculated and he shoots past me. As he charges at me I kick him in self defense. Unwilling to continue the fight here, I roll underneath the pipes on my right.

I come up on the other side of the catwalk, but he knows me to well. He is waiting for me so kick him in the knee. He shoots another arrow and it comes for me with deadly accuracy. I drop across into the next catwalk. He follows me. Like I knew he would.

We are locked together. My head still pounds from my encounter with the Hulk, and Clint knows my ins and outs as well as I do. It's going to be a long match.

As Clint tries hitting me with his bow I yank on the string. For a moment I wonder why we are fighting like children, then I realize that it is because if we fought any other way neither of us would win.

He is fighting to kill me but I only direct my blows in self defense. He pulls his dagger. I grab his arm and thrust it back, twisting it. He groans as he tosses the dagger to his free hand. I simply grab that hand too but he hoists me against a wall. I am trapped. Unless...

He grabs my hair and pulls, exposing my neck to his dagger. I fight to keep my arms from collapsing in on me. I remember Loki's words. If Clint is to live so must I. And if I am unable to protect myself then I will keep my promise. I'll take him with me. I will not let Loki have the pleasure. I sink my teeth into his arm and he lets go, trying to force me down. But I spin, throwing him into the railing. He falls to the ground, groaning, then looks up.

"Natasha?" He murmurs. For a moment the silver blue is gone from his eyes.

In that moment I realize that the knock on his head loosened Loki's hold on him. I make a gamble and send him a left hook. His eyes roll back. But they are his own. I haul him over my shoulders and carry him to the Med-Bay.

Barton is strapped to a hospital bed sleeping. But peaceful is not how I would describe him. Its been long enough, I decide. I pour a full cup of water over his head. "Wake up, Birdbrain." I murmur. The nickname was once an insult I spat at him in my first years as a SHIELD agent, now it is a term of endearment. And a code word for him to shut up.

His eyes snap open and I sigh in relief, his eyes are dark brown. He's Clint again. I sit by him as he strains against the iron bonds, breathing hard and shaking his head.

"Clint, you're gonna be alright." I whisper.

"You know that?" He asks. "Is that what you know? I gotta go in though. I have to flush him out."

Inwardly I groan. He's Clint alright, trying to do everything himself. All at once. "You gotta level out, it's gonna take time." I answer walking over and pouring him a new glass of water.

"You don't understand." He stops struggling. "Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Pull you out and stuff something else in? You know what it's like to be unmade?" He asks looking straight at me trying to read in my eyes exactly what happened.

"You know that I do." My answer is only five words long, but for him it is enough."Why am I back? How did you get him out?" He asks, changing the subject.

I walk around him. "Cognitive recalibration." At his blank look I continue. "I hit you really hard in the head."

"Thanks."

I lean over and release his restraints.

"Natasha, how many agents?" He asks as he sits up slowly, as though he is afraid he will hurt me.

"Don't. Don't do that to yourself, Clint." I order.

I sit down on the cot beside him. "This is Loki. This is monsters and magic and nothing we were ever trained for.

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow. It speaks better than words. Yeah, really. You're the Black Widow, you were trained for everything. I'm surprised he didn't go after you. I glare at him. And he looks away. "Loki. He get away?"

"Yeah." I sigh. "I don't suppose you know where?"

I lean back against Clint, he stiffens for a moment before wrapping his arms around me protectively.

"Didn't need to know. Didn't ask." He pauses and I remember the Loki/Clint.

"He's gonna make his play soon though. Today." Clint murmurs into my hair.

I pull away and walk to the door, looking out at the guard standing there. I remember Loki's words the conversation I had with him:

•••

"Ah, no. But I like this." He says leaning forward eagerly. "Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one man?"

"Regime's fall everyday. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian, or I was." Is my cool answer.

"And what are you now?" He asks.

"It's really not that complicated." I state. "I got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out."

"Can you?" He speaks excitedly.

"Can you wipe out that much red?" He asks standing.

"Drakov's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital fire? Barton told me everything." He steps forward.

"Your ledger is dripping, it is gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything?" Another step.

"This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child, a prayer. Pathetic. You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors." He pauses for the briefest moment.

"But they are a part of you, and they will never go away." He slams his fist against the glass as he finishes.

I stumble back, turning away from the mad man before me. I don't need to act now; my fear and horror are real.

"I won't touch Barton! Not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams I'll split his skull!"

That is infinitely times worse. Not my dying, but him waking to see what his hands had wrought the moment before he dies. It is him dying with the knowledge that he killed me, that is so hellish.

"This is my bargain, you mewling quim!"

I shudder inwardly, "We gotta stop him."

"Yeah? Who's we?" Clint asks.

"I don't know. Whoever is left." Is the only answer I have to give as I come back to sit beside him.

"Well, if I put an arrow through Loki's eye socket I'd sleep better I suppose." He says with a sigh.

"Now you sound like you." I smile and I lean back against his muscles chest.

"But you don't." He looks at me sharply. "You're a spy, not a soldier. Now you want to wade into a war. Why?"

My eyes must have betrayed me or maybe he just knows me too well because he asks. "What did Loki do to you?" The rage in his eyes is undisguised. His grip on me tightens till I can barely breath.

"He didn't, I just-" I start but Clint interrupts.

"Natasha."

I bite my lower lip and lie, but it isn't really a lie, l will be keeping what transpired between Loki and I a secret as long as I can. "I've been compromised. I got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out."

Clint looks at me, I know he doesn't believe me. His grip loosens slightly. He wants to know why I'm compromised, but he says nothing, and for that I am grateful.

But still the memories come, triggered by the question.

I see Loki pacing the unbreakable cell. I don't have much time to speak to him, there is no telling what will happen without my presence. Silently I enter the room and walk up behind him till I am only inches from the glass.

"Loki." To my surprise, he jumps at the sound of my voice. He turns slowly, trying to regain his composure.

"Hm. There's not many people that can sneak up on me." He observes.

"But you figured I'd come." I deadpan.

He nods. "After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate."

I bite back my smile with practiced skill. I am far more terrible than Fury, it would have been me torturing him. Apparently he doesn't realize how deeply I care for Clint. "I want to know what you've done to Agent Barton."

The question seems to throw him. Loki is confused, he was obviously expecting me to act differently. "I'd say I've expanded his mind."

"And once you've won. Once you're king of the mountain. What happens to his mind?" I jump on the information. I want to know why he is so happy to be here, in this cell. But I cannot be obvious, so I've grabbed at the only cover I can find. But the truth is that my cover isn't a lie.

"Is this love, Agent Romanoff?"

I scowl. "Love is for children. I owe him a debt." I don't love Clint. No, our comradeship runs far deeper than any shallow romance. We are two halves of one whole, quite literally. We are both so broken that we have melded into the other, forming a whole. If one were to die the other would follow.

Loki steps closer till we are inches apart, the unbreakable glass is all that separates us. "Tell me."

I turn. "Before I worked for SHIELD, I uh- well, I made a name for myself." I walk towards a chair and turn it so I'm facing Loki. "I have a very specific skill set. I didn't care who I used it for, or on. I got on SHIELD's radar in a bad way. Agent Barton was sent to kill me, he made a different call."

For a moment I wonder why I'm telling him this. But I don't care really, in a way I admire this man. He is strong like me. He is different from the rest of this broken world. He is a monster, like I was.

But while I can identify with him, I cannot and never will agree with his cause or methods. At one time I might have, but Natalia is gone. Dead. Killed by an arrow sent by a man I will not lose. By a man who is at this moment killing blindly for the monster before me.

"And what will you do if I vow to spare him?" Loki asks.

"Not let you out." I counter.

"Ah, no. But I like this." He says leaning forward eagerly. "Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one man?"

"Regime's fall everyday. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian, or I was." Is my cool answer.

"And what are you now?" He asks.

"It's really not that complicated." I state. "I got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out."

"Can you?" He speaks excitedly.

"Can you wipe out that much red?" He asks standing.

"Drakov's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital fire? Barton told me everything." He steps forward.

"Your ledger is dripping, it is gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything?" Another step.

"But they are a part of you, and they will never go away." He slams his fist against the glass as he finishes.

I stumble back, turning away from the mad man before me. I don't need to act now; my fear and horror are real.

That is infinitely times worse. Not my dying, but him waking to see what his hands had wrought the moment before he dies. It is him dying with the knowledge that he has killed me that so hellish.

"This is my bargain, you mewling quim!" Loki screams.

I feel the emotions rise up in me. The fear, the horror, the anguish. But I push them down, I'm still breathing because I have never given up against impossible odds.

"You're a monster!" I whisper, because that is what he expects. And because he's close, so close to telling me why he's so comfortable.

"Oh, no. You brought the monster." He hisses, the undiluted venom in his voice plain and clear to me.

I lift my head and glance at him. "So, Banner? That's your play." I wonder why I hadn't thought of it before.

Loki stares at me. He blinks. "What?" Now he is angry.

I start toward the exit, but I pause and speak into my earpiece.

"Loki means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab, I'm on my way. Send Thor as well."

I turn and regard Loki, perhaps my admiration was unfounded, even Clint wouldn't have lost his temper like that. No, this man shaking in rage is but a spoiled child, angry at his brother.

"Thank you, for your cooperation!" I don't resist the smirk that rises to my lips.

I shiver and press myself deeper into Clint's embrace. "Promise me, you'll never leave me." I whisper. It is a silly question, both of us know that I'll make life miserable for him if he ever stays with me when I've told him to leave.

"I swear. Nat I won't ever leave you. Not in life, not in death." His voice is low and rough. Honesty is written across his face and love is inscribed in every kiss he pressed into my hair.

"Clint," I backtrack. "Swear you'll leave me, even if it means my death, if it will save someone innocent." He knows what I mean truly, I don't think I'm worth him after all I've done.

"No." He growls.

"Please." I entreat as I turn my face up to him. This is a conversation we have rarely, but when we do, it always plays out like this.

"I'll compromise, if there is no other way to protect a civilian, I will leave you. But, the moment they are safe, no matter what is going on, I will come for you. Whether or not your breathing. And if you're dead...you know what will happen." His eyes are terrible to behold. He shakes with rage at the idea that anyone would dare take me from him.

So I press my lips to his and try to drive all I feel into the kiss. My arms wrap around his neck and my fingers dig into his collar. His arms pull me toward him and threaten to never let me go. His lips are the closest I'll ever get to peace.

There may be a war being fought all around us, but at this moment, its just us. Just us in a world all of our own. No scarlet tinged memories can follow us here. No duties and paperwork can haunt our every step. Not even Loki can appear to taint our joy.

Thank you for reading. If you liked this be sure to check out my Clintasha stories.

thereisaredeemer :)