Resistance Base, Ajan Kloss 35 ABY
Poe Dameron had been certain they were dead, that every single Resistance member who had survived until that point would die in that hangar on Crait in the old Alliance outpost. Even after the long-lost Master Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight, had miraculously appeared, Poe still felt they had been defeated. With no other exit, it didn't matter because they didn't even have a ship to escape on and as powerful as Master Skywalker was, he was still one man. It wasn't until Finn had suggested they go to fight with the Jedi that his brain had finally began working again and he realized that Master Skywalker wasn't there to rally them to battle, but to give them a chance to escape, if only they could find one.
And find one they had, but that moment of hope and relief had been dashed when Poe saw that the tunnel was caved in at the end. There was certainly not enough time for them to make an opening big enough to get out before Leia's brother could no longer provide a distraction for them. A deep despair overcame him then, more so than ever before. And then suddenly the rocks began shifting away, clearing a path. Poe was the first, Finn right behind him, to rush from the tunnel, to see how they were able to escape.
At first Poe just stood mesmerized by the sight of the floating rocks to then finally look past them to see a young woman in shades of gray and cream with dark, shoulder length hair, standing with an arm raised, clearly commanding the large stones around them. Bright sunlight had shone over the ridge as he fully took her in, illuminating her like an ethereal being. He'd been more stunned at the sight of her than he'd been at the rocks. For several moments, everyone had just stood looking at the miracle before them. Finn was the first to move, running toward their savior, both of them hugging each other. Their joy had been palpable. Poe had wanted to thank the woman, Rey, he'd gathered, whom he'd heard so much about from Finn and some from Leia. He'd realized the moment was not one to be interrupted between the reunited friends and decided he would find his moment later.
Later had come a few minutes after everyone had boarded the ship, everyone hugging and exclaiming their relief at being alive. Poe had turned around from a few of his fellow Resistance members to see Rey crouching down by BB-8. His droid had also gone on and on about his rescuer from Jakku and how she hadn't traded him for what must've been, from what he'd inferred, the most generous amount of ration portions she'd ever been offered. That alone made him grateful to her for the kindness she'd showed to his faithful astromech. Most people would've traded Beebee in a heartbeat for that much sustenance when in servitude like she'd been, always on the brink of starvation. Finn had talked about her, of course, and he'd been able to tell that Leia also had a high regard for the mysterious Rey. In all of his descriptions though, Finn had never once mentionedhow breathtakingly beautiful Rey was.
Poe had been shocked by her beauty, and not just her outer, but her inner as well. It didn't matter that he'd only heard about her until he saw her on Crait. He could immediately feel the goodness and light inside of her. She shined like the brightest sun he'd ever seen, a warmth he'd never felt before enveloping his entire being as he'd gazed at her. It was like sinking into the waters of a hot spring on his home world of Yavin IV, something he'd often done in his youth before he'd left.
Poe had been somewhat hesitant to approach the beautiful young woman, even though it was like he couldn't wait another moment to officially meet her in the flesh. His body had practically been pulled toward her without his notice, like a magnet, his nerves almost getting the better of him. Stop it, Poe! You're a high ranking officer in the Resistance and she's barely more than a girl, you can do this! he'd told himself. His steps had been slow, giving him time to collect himself and gather his courage, breathing deeply for the semblance of a calm exterior. Poe had stood before her in awe, aware just enough to be careful not to show it too much. It wouldn't be good for my reputation, he'd thought in amusement.
Poe had introduced himself, thinking that he'd sounded like a complete idiot. It wasn't the first time they'd seen each other. He remembered with absolute clarity the look they'd shared after returning to D'Qar and Chewie brought an injured Finn from the Falcon. He hadn't been sure what to say to her so he'd followed Chewie to see that Finn was quickly admitted for treatment for his wounds. And they'd also been in the same room when R2-D2 and BB-8 had projected the completed map to Leia's brother, but they hadn't had the chance to meet before she and Chewie had left.
He remembered Rey had smiled at him and extended her hand back, saying, "I'm Rey."
"I know," was all that he'd said in reply, silently cursing himself a second later for definitely sounding like an idiot. 'I know,' who says that?! he'd screamed in his mind, wishing to the Maker that the floor of the Millennium Falcon would suddenly open up and eject him into space so he'd never have to face Rey ever again, thinking he couldn't come back from how monumentally stupid she must think he was. So much for the suave and charming 'best pilot in the Resistance,' he'd thought, inwardly cringing. Poe would be eternally grateful no one except Beebee had been within earshot to witness his humiliation.
Now it was a year later and Poe still felt like that bumbling fool whenever he was around her. Only, it'd gotten worse with time. And on top of that, he always felt a restless energy when he was around her, like insects were crawling under his skin and there was no way to get rid of them. But as unsettling a feeling as it was, it wasn't exactly unpleasant, and Poe couldn't decide if he actually wanted to get rid of it. It was quite the conundrum. Deep down, Poe knew what all of that indicated, but he'd kept it buried, not allowing himself to look too closely at the meaning. Because he was quite positively scared of what he would finally have to admit to himself if he did.
His mind wandered to the conversation he'd had with Leia not thirty standard minutes ago. He'd thought he was in trouble, having been summoned to the command center like he had been. He'd also been fairly certain that he hadn't done anything, lately anyway, that would earn him a reprimand. Nonetheless, Poe had prepared himself for a scolding of some kind as he joined Leia. She had been alone, something that hadn't boded well, he'd thought. Which is why what she'd said almost as soon as he'd entered the room had taken him completely off guard.
~~~
"Commander Dameron, tell me what you know about Rey's character."
Poe blinked a few times, trying to make sure he'd understood what the general had said. His wits quickly returned and he said, "Rey is kind, fiercely loyal, and dedicated to help end this war." While all those were true, Poe could see it wasn't exactly what Leia was looking for so he racked his brain for what else Rey was and he immediately thought of their argument earlier and he knew it was what the general was talking about. "She's also very stubborn."
"So what do you think she would do if I told her she couldn't leave to search for the Wayfinder?" Leia asked.
With absolute confidence he said, "She'd either talk Chewie into taking the Falcon with her or she'd 'borrow' another ship and leave when she thought everyone was asleep...or, that's what I'd do, anyway," he said with a grin.
"I have no doubt, Poe," Leia replied with a grin of her own. "Do you believe it wise to send her alone or only with Chewie?"
"Absolutely not. Who knows what kind of trouble the two of them could get into on their own!" He hadn't been able to help but think of the Porg infestation they were now dealing with since Chewie had let a number of them take up residence in the Falcon while they were on Ahch-To, which in turn had led to an even bigger number migrating onto Ajan Kloss since they bred rapidly. They were cute little creatures, Poe had to admit. "It would probably be best if Finn and I went. Probably Threepio and Beebee, too." He'd hate to leave his droid behind and Threepio, however annoying it could be sometimes, would probably come in handy with the droid's translation ablitlies.
"I agree, Poe. Please inform Finn of your departure plans. Rey, too, so that she doesn't try to sneak off," the general said with a smile.
Poe smiled and replied with a snappy, "Yes, Ma'am."
Leia waved a hand at him which he took as a dismissal and began turning around to leave, intending to find Finn then Rey. He'd been stopped by her voice.
"One more thing, Commander," her voice had been somewhat stern and her use of his Commander title had him bracing himself for the reprimand he'd originally expected upon his arrival. "I don't think I have to tell you how short life is. No one knows how and when this war will end, whether we will be victorious or not. We've already lost so many good people in our fight against the First Order. I'd hate to think any of them left this galaxy with very many regrets," Leia said cryptically.
"I hope not, General," Poe replied, perplexed at her statement.
"Go now, Poe. Good luck with this mission," Leia said with a smile.
"Thank you, Leia."
~~~
Poe was now on his way to find Rey. He'd already spoken with Finn, who hadn't seemed all that surprised that they would be accompanying Rey on her mission. Finn had strode away quickly, with a determined look on his face tinged with a bit of worry. If Poe had to guess, he was on his way to find Rose to let her know he was leaving. Finn and Rose had been forming a tentative relationship ever since their escape from Crait. They both seemed wary to form an attachment as a war raged around them. It was a sentiment Poe understood all too well and mirrored. He pushed that aside for now, determined to find Rey, assuming she would be with the Falcon.
As he walked toward where the ship had been set down, Poe puzzled over the meaning behind Leia's words just before she'd told him to go. She was right that he knew life was short, thinking of his mother and his fallen fellow Resistance members, or that poeple dying with several regrets made their death more tragic. What he was having a hard time deciphering was why she had made a point to say that. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with it. Poe supposed he would know when he was meant to, though, whenever that was.
Poe made his way around the other grounded ships and rounded an X-wing to see Rey standing at the edge of the famous ship, a wrench in hand, repairing something or other. He felt a twinge of guilt, as it was his fault she was now having to work on the ship. He tried to tamp down the feeling with a rebuttal that something was always needing fixed, it was quite an old ship, after all. He stopped, staying out of sight, just watching her work. She was concentrating on what she was doing, a calm and content look on her face as she worked.
It was as he watched Rey that he finally understood what Leia had meant to convey to him. Her words were a warning and advice at the same time. She wanted him to realize that closing himself off to any possibility of something happening between him and Rey was unfair to the both of them, especially if there was any chance that she returned his feelings. To be fair, she hadn't shown any outward signs that she might, but Poe mused that, like him, she might have doubts, that she might feel conflicted about beginning a relationship, or was wanting to direct her focus and energy on her training. Any of those reasons were sound, he knew that, but he figured that Leia was right to nudge him to approach her, to no longer let his fears control him.
Taking a deep breath, Poe prepared himself to go to Rey. He felt that at the moment he'd almost prefer to be climbing into his X-wing to face-off against the First Order in the air than admit his feelings to the young woman. You're no coward, Poe Dameron, he berated himself. He squared his shoulders and walked up to her, stopping a few feet from where she stood under the Millennium Falcon, wondering how the next few minutes would affect his life. She looked at him with a calm expression. There was no anger at him leftover from their earlier argument, there never was, just as his frustration with her was never true anger or lasted very long.
He was brought back to another memory. It was on the Falcon after their escape from Crait. The other members had gone off to the galley or bunk rooms to rest and mourn those they had most recently lost. It was a rare moment of peace as he, Rey, and Finn sat around the holochess table in the main common area. Poe hadn't been able to resist musing aloud that in the chance that he'd not been separated from Finn after crash-landing on Jakku, he would've met Rey days sooner. Rey's answer that she had learned not to dwell on the could-have-beens had been extremely wise for a person so young. Sometimes at night when Poe had trouble falling asleep he thought about what would be different if they had met on Jakku. Poe took another deep breath and took another step toward the young brunette who'd plagued his waking and sleeping thoughts more than he'd like to admit.
"Rey, can we talk?"
...
Rey quietly worked on repairs to the Falcon and it was helping to calm her troubled mind. It had been that way since her training session earlier that morning, since she'd had that vision as she'd run the training course. The vision had rattled her almost as much as the first one she'd had on Takodana a little over a year ago. She tried to tell herself it was because it had been so long since having a vision and it was disconcerting to come on so abruptly, not because of the contents. She knew it was a lie, but it was helping to keep her from dwelling too much on the images that had flashed across her mind in quick succession.
Her mood had brightened upon learning that Finn, Poe, and Chewie were back from their reconnaissance mission. Her relief and joy that they were unhurt was quickly dampened when she saw the damage the Falcon had sustained due to Poe light speed skipping. Rey knew it had been unfair of her to argue with him over it, but it had given her an outlet for the frustration she'd been feeling. She knew it was the only reason they were alive, but it still irked her the ship now needed so many repairs. The Millennium Falcon was her greatest link to Han and she wanted to take good care of it as a way to honor his memory. She might not have known him long or particularly well, but he'd come to mean a great deal to her in the short time she'd had with him.
It was the same with General Leia Organa. When she'd met her on D'Qar for the first time Rey instinctively knew she could trust the revered general and felt she would become very important to her, and she'd been right. Leia was the mother she had always hoped for and never had. And now Rey felt like she was letting her down. She knew that her combat skills with a lightsaber had greatly improved in the last year, even though she'd already been proficient with her quarterstaff from her years on Jakku. Her ability to use the Force had grown as well. She could see the pride Leia had for her dedication to learning and training in the ways of the Force. It was her lack of connecting to the Jedi of the past that had Rey feeling like she was disappointing her mentor and mother-figure. She felt like a failure all over again.
The news about the Wayfinder had given Rey a new sense of purpose. She had failed to turn Ben to the Light, and it still stung that she'd been so naive to think that she could, that she'd obviously misinterpreted her vision on Ahch-To so wrongly. It was her greatest and most humiliating moment of her life. She'd been so sure he would turn, had been sure when he'd killed Snoke to save her life. It had broken her heart to realize that he hadn't done it mainly to save her, but to seize the power for himself. Sure, he'd offered to share that power with her, but it wasn't what she wanted. There was no possibility Rey could've ever sacrificed the lives of her newfound friends, people who now felt like her family, to 'rule the galaxy' at the side of Kylo Ren.
Rey would be lying if her sole reason for being so hurt at Kylo not turning was because she felt it was what was needed to win the war against the First Order. She tried to deny it, but she'd come to realize that somehow she'd come to care for the man she desperately wanted Kylo Ren to be: Ben Solo. Her short time on the Supremacy had showed her that Ben Solo was most likely gone forever. Shutting the bond with him down before they'd left Crait was hard. The look on his face had broken her heart, her disappointment in him making her realize she needed to close herself off from him. It had been a year and sometimes she still felt the loss, no matter how irrational the feeling was. She was so scared of how people would react to the revelation that she had that kind of bond, even if closed, with their enemy that she hadn't dared to tell anyone, not even Leia. The secrecy and knowledge that she was keeping something so momentous from her family was slowly crushing her, weighing her spirit down into despair.
The only times it would not affect her so much was when she was spending time with Finn, Poe, and Rose. Rey had found a wonderful friend in the young mechanic, finding comfort in the companionship of another female her own age. It was nice when they found the time to relax and feel like normal people, if only for a short time. It was something Rey had never had, and she found she greatly enjoyed it. Finn had become her brother and never tired of spending time with him. Then there was Poe. It was a bit funny and strange, but she even enjoyed her spats with him. While she would be well and truly annoyed sometimes, like today, it was never a serious argument and never threatened to end their friendship.
It had taken a long time for Rey to figure out the reason behind why she derived enjoyment from arguing with Poe. That's not normally how a person felt about fighting with someone. To say that she'd been taken completely by surprise by the reason was the understatement of the century. She liked fighting with him because she liked him, the sentiment growing for several months now, and in a way that was as different than the feelings she'd ever had for anyone else in her life. In the beginning, after she'd come across the realization, it had been fairly easy to ignore the feelings. It had been more difficult in the last few weeks, though.
Rey had been able to feel that her time of sitting on the sidelines and focusing on her Jedi training was about to come to an end. And she'd been right. With the information coming to light that Emperor Palpatine was indeed still alive and the existence of the Wayfinder she'd read about was confirmed. Every fiber of her being told her she needed to find the second one and they could end this war once and for all. The others were against her, she knew it. And she knew it was because it would be dangerous and they worried for her, not that they didn't believe in her, but she'd already decided that she would leave to search for it, with or without permission. Chewie had already agreed to go with her and as soon as this last repair was finished, she would try to get some sleep and then leave at first light.
She'd been so focused on her work that Rey hadn't been immediately aware of Poe's presence until he had walked up to her. Some Jedi I am, she thought in frustration, upset that she'd not been able to feel someone coming toward her. While Poe meant her no harm, it wasn't a good thing she hadn't been able to sense him, especially if it had been someone with intentions to attack her.
"Rey, can we talk?" Poe's voice was steady as he asked his question. It was devoid of its normal cocky nature, having a bit of a nervous energy instead. Rey wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or not.
She turned to him and laid her tool on the rolling workstation at her side. "Sure," she said, wiping any grease that might be on her hands on a cloth that'd been tucked into her belt as she spoke. She looked at him expectantly, wondering what he wanted to talk about.
Poe swallowed, looking like he was at a loss for words for the first time in a long time since she'd met him. If she hadn't been able to feel the nervousness coming from him she probably would've laughed at the idea that the confident Poe Dameron couldn't speak what was on his mind.
...
Outskirts of Mustafar
"Don't do this, Ben...Please don't go this way."
Kylo Ren's eyes snapped open from his meditative state. He'd just left the Mustafar System after taking the Wayfinder from his grandfather's citadel. He was now on his way to Exegol, to defeat Palpatine once and for all. He was not going to let all that he had done to become the Supreme Leader and rightful leader of the galaxy be for naught just because a remnant of the old Empire had been hiding in the shadows all of this time.
Ever since the crushing blow that had been suffered on Crait, Kylo had a deep down feeling like something was not right. He'd never been able to pinpoint what was wrong, though. During his time to himself, he'd taken to meditating more and more often. It would give him a sense of peace. The feeling of calmness and order would only last a few minutes, though. He would soon be back to the chaos inside his mind that was becoming harder and harder to quiet. So far, Kylo had been able to hide his inner turmoil, he'd always been adept at it, but lately his mind practically screamed at him, and he was worried Hux would use it against him. It was no secret General Armitage Hux wanted his position of leadership, and was most likely planning a coup against him now.
Knowing that he was on his way to take care of what he felt was the most pressing issue, Palpatine, Kylo had felt the chaos mounting in his mind. Deciding he needed as clear a head as he could have before facing the old Emperor, he'd taken up the position to meditate and began the arduous task of emptying his mind. It had been working, a sense of calm infusing him when suddenly he'd felt a spike of what he recognized as a paralyzing fear. He knew immediately it wasn't his own; it was Rey's. He was concerned about what had caused that fear when he suddenly heard her voice in his head. It was as if she'd been standing right in front of him.
The words Kylo heard were the words she'd spoken in a heartbroken tone on the Supremacy; "Don't do this, Ben...Please don't go this way." He'd beseechingly asked her to join him. He was sure it was the closest to begging another person for something in more years than he could remember. The need to have Rey at his side was something so deep and primal that he was shocked at its potency. Her calling him by his given name had ripped through his spirit, pulling him apart from all sides. It had almost made him give into her pleas to call a halt to the fleet's attack on the Resistance. He'd been so close, but then the image of the warped and half-melted helmet of his grandfather had shown before his eyes and he remembered his vow that he would finish what Darth Vader had started. He would bring peace to the galaxy, but he would forge his own path, with or without Rey.
And now it had been twelve long months since Kylo had last felt her presence, and he was beginning to regret that decision. The first few months after the battle of Crait, it had been easy for him to ignore their closed bond. Every time he felt the tiniest hint of missing it, he would remind himself that she'd rebuffed him and that he didn't need her. As the months passed, however, he found himself not only missing their connection, but was craving it. He'd finally given in five months ago and tried to initiate the bond himself. He'd only come upon a wall in his effort to reach her. As his attempts increased in frequency and force, the thicker the wall became. It was so solid now that Kylo was fairly certain she no longer could feel him trying to contact her.
Which is why it had shocked him so much that he'd felt her so suddenly. The opening in the bond had been so quick that he was sure Rey hadn't even been aware that it had. And then it was gone just as fast as it had come, barely enough time for him to feel she had been frightened to her very core. He'd felt the blind panic and then nothing. He couldn't help but wonder what it was that had made her feel that way. Kylo knew it wasn't because she was hurt, that would've been a different feeling altogether. The Resistance Base hadn't been found, as far as he knew, so he didn't think she was under attack either. It had to be something else then.
The only thing Kylo could attribute it to was that Rey had seen a vision and whatever it was, that had been what scared her. Of its own volition, his heart broke, a feeling of desperation in his urge to want to help her overcoming him. She didn't want me, he reminded himself in a bitter voice. If she's worked so hard to keep him out for this long, she wouldn't want his help now. So Kylo aggressively pushed his thoughts of Rey and what was happening with her to the side. It would do no good to dwell on it and it was a distraction he could ill afford at the moment. He needed to be solely focused on defeating Palpatine, so he resumed his meditative posture and returned his mind to the task at hand.
So I know that a lot of people, myself included, are Reylo shippers. This, however, is not a fix-it fic. This will be a Damerey story, but it sets up, in my opinion, how Rey could kiss Ben yet still end up with Poe. The reason I've chosen to put them together is because they both deserve some much needed happiness after everything the'd gone through and I felt they would be a good match. Mainly because they reminded me so much of how Han and Leia acted in the first trilogy. Plus, I just love the idea of them as a couple. I'll follow the movie fairly closely, but I'm definitely taking out the whole part where Poe tried to rekindle his romance with Zorii Bliss. It obviously doesn't fit with my story. I hope you enjoy what I envision as a future for Poe and Rey post TROS. Also, my life is pretty chaotic, but I'll try to update as often as I can. Feedback is always welcome. :)