Stranger Things...if it was in 2020

Mike: (invites Lucas and Dustin and Will to group call)

Phone: (rings)

Lucas and Dustin (pick up phone call)

Lucas: Geez man, I'm rEvIsInG!

Mike: For what?

Lucas: I dunno, it's just cool to say you're revising.

Dustin: IZZ CORONA TIME.

Mike: So, I would invite you guys over but I can't cuz of lockdown. Also, I don't know you guys enough to let you come over.

Lucas: We've all been best friends for 6 years!

Dustin: And we go to the same school!

Mike: (shrugs) Stranger danger.

Lucas: (mutters under his breath) Jesus.

Dustin: IZZ CORONA TIME.

Mike: What are you guys doing for the lockdown?

Lucas: Hear me out, okay? Well, on TikTok everyone is doing healthy stuff and getting their dream body at home, right?

Mike: Yeah?

Dustin: IZZ CORONA TIME.

Lucas: I'm going to keep a diary of all my shower thoughts.

Mike: Well, that was anticlimactic.

Dustin: Well, that was anticlimactic.

Lucas' bed: Well, that was anticlimactic.

The air in the room: Well, that was anticlimactic.

Literally anything or anyone that heard that statement: Well, that was anticlimactic.

Audience: OK, WE GET IT!

The person who wrote this script: Well, that was anticlimactic and I made this story.

Lucas: Here, I'll show you what I've got so far. (shows notebook to the camera)

Notebook says:

Nobody is ever in an empty room.

Dustin: That-that's it?

Lucas: Yeah.

Notebook: Don't make it worse, I'm already ashamed of myself.

(Long sigh fills the air)

Mike: (says really quickly) I really wanna change the subject but I'm so antisocial I dunno what to say.

(Everyone is awkwardly silent for a few minutes)

Mike: Ummm...I was originally gonna sleep for the whole quarantine but then I found a random girl with an oversized t-shirt in my basement with a tattoo and my mom's such a Karen that she hasn't even found out so now I just have to take care of her.

Dustin: IZZ CORONA TIME.

Lucas and Mike: wIlL yOu ShUt Up DuStIn?!

Dustin: Okay, okay…

Lucas: So the girl in your basement, from your description...is an e-girl?

Mike: Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, about my mom, I wasn't joking. Her actual name is Karen Wheeler.

Dustin: Lol.

Mike: Wait, where's Will?

Dustin: The weird kid who follows us around?

Mike: Don't say that!...actually that's a pretty accurate depiction. Where is he? I called him but he didn't pick up. And he didn't come to school yesterday

Lucas: I think my dad saw something about him on the news. He's gone missing. And his mom heard him breathing on the phone and then she heard a monster.

Dustin: Interesting. Well, let's get to more pressing matters. Mike. You're telling me, that your sister, is dating Steve Harrington?

Lucas: Ewwww.

Mike: (alarmed) Dating?! Who told you that?! They met on Insta and they're online dating. I'm pretty sure he's a 61-year-old pedophile anyway. He told her that he wants to adopt six kids one day and become a proud mother...and those kids need to be called: Eleven, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, Will, and Max.

Dustin: Those names sound familiar…

Lucas: No they don't. And what type of a name is Eleven?

Mike: I dunno.