Alicia Bennett
My first memory of the Doctor is when I was six years old. The memory is more of a dream than reality.
At first I thought it was a dream but later on I found out it was actually a visual telepathic connection.
In my dream state I was at home and then I seemed to travel. I knew I was still in my room but all the same I saw stars rushing past until I saw a blue box. The doors opened by themselves and inside a man was standing looking at me. I liked the man but not the room.
This tall gangly man was in a pinstriped suit and had brown hair.
Then he introduced himself.
Doctor 10th Regeneration
For some reason I am introducing myself to a six year oId I believe is called Alicia Bennett. I can't quite control what I'm doing.
I'm not sure what's going on but I'm beginning to guess what this is.
She's looking at me like she already knows who I am. I guess it's possible. Still, first impressions...
"Hello, I'm the Doctor." Simple, easy.
"I know."
"Alicia, do you know who I am?" I'm curious how much she knows.
"You're the Doctor?" That sounded like she was making fun of me. "And you're mine?"
"What." It wasn't quite a question. She thought she knew the answer. It was almost like she was asking me if I knew the answer too. What do I say!
"Are you okay, Doctor?"
"Yeah, just not what I thought you were going to say."
"Am I right? You are mine."
I make several false starts trying to answer her. "Alicia, you are very important to me." I pause. "I will be with you forever. Whatever you need from me you will get. When you aren't with me I will find you. I'll never let you down. I promise. But, I have to go now, I'll see you later, okay?"
"Um, okay." She looks sad but I really do have to go. I can feel something dragging me out of this conversation.
She's a child. A human child, she shouldn't even know what consent is yet, but the way she just talked to me she sounded older. Not old enough but not six. And I have morals. I've been a father before and it'll stay that way until she's ready to come to terms with what's happened. She'll be in control of that part the whole time.
Yes, she'll be in control. All I have to do is keep her safe. Right?
Alicia
Somehow I knew how much those words meant to him and they meant just as much to me. I'm sure I'd keep him to them in the future.
As I got older I began to think of those words a bit like voodoo. Especially after the first time I met him.
I had very little of what you would call a 'normal' childhood. Things started very subtly at first.
You could say the first day I met Him was the last day of my childhood.
Rose
I walked into the console room looking for the Doctor. I was sure to find him in here. Then I saw him on the floor and ran over.
"Doctor? Doctor!" I poked him in the arm not sure what to do. He seemed to be asleep. He wasn't exactly unconscious so I didn't know if I should move him. He groaned.
I couldn't take my eyes off him. What if something had happened? He looked at me for a few seconds before leaping to his feet. I only just had time to jump out of the way. Now he's staring at the grating.
"Doctor, what are you doing?" I've never seen him like this.
He pushed past me and grabbed for the screen. "No, please no." I heard him mutter. Then "It wasn't a dream."
"What's going on?"
He finally seemed to realise I was there and made a pained face.
"It's complicated."
"How complicated?" It can't be any more complicated than usual, can it?
"I've done something either terrible or wonderful. Probably both."
"Go on." I sighed.
"I may be engaged to a young girl."
I shook my head in exasperation. "What's that got to do with all this?"
"Omaria, or 'mercy'. The people are so obsessed with peace they got rid of marriage and created a ritual which basically makes the two so involved it's impossible to be apart from each other, that's the theory anyway."
A chill went up my spine. "What exactly is going on?"
"When I say engaged I mean I made a mental connection with someone few hours ago that at some point will become physical
Doctor
I didn't really know what to tell Rose and now I don't want to know what I've made her think. I landed the TARDIS on Omaria and took Rose with me. There's someone I want to talk to and I think this would help Rose as well.
With a sorrowful smile I left to walk through domed buildings.I reached a particularly large red building with orange hexagonal windows. The person who answered the door was a blue hominid, completely different to the sandy landscape and red buildings.
"I need to see Clman." He is the head priest on Omaria.
The hominid shut the door in my face only for it to be opened again by Clman moments later.
"Doctor, oh dear. You'd better come in." The Amorans are telepathic, Clman knew what I'm worried about immediately. He brought us to a private counselling room.
"What do I do?"
"Would you like a drink, Doctor. Some Mandala tea perhaps?"
I waved it off, I don't have time for tea.
"What about you?" He ventured towards Rose but she declined too.
"Have some anyway, you're going to need it."
We still denied the offer.
Clman started the conversation. "I think I should begin with telling Rose what's happening."
The looks she's been giving me... This sounds like a good idea.
He turned to Rose. "The Doctor has taken part in an Amorian coupling ritual. He should already know who his Ugandan is from a meditative vision."
"Guandan?" I interrupted, not having heard the term before.
"You're Guandan, Doctor. You saw them in your vision?"
"Alicia. My, Guandan? What's a Guandan?"
"It's a partner, wife, husband, the other half. All very diminutive descriptions of this relationship, and I'm interested to see that so far the.." Clman paused trying to find the right word. "instincts"
"Stop!" I do not want Rose to hear about any private instincts.
"Another time then. Back to the original part of the topic, Rose. Who ever the Doctors guandan is, he didn't choose them. They chose him. And it doesn't matter who they are, species or age. The connection has been made and it cannot be broken. I think that's Rose all caught up."
"And Alicia? What about her?" Some fresh tea was brought in. I immediately poured myself a cup. It's so soothing. What is in that tea?
"It's just a native flower. Alicia will be safe for now. She knows who you are though. She also has instincts about the two of you. I can't say what will happen to her though. It would be best to do the Ritual of Allegiance as soon as possible. It is a simple ceremony, you both accept the others presence in your lives and then... You'll find out. It isn't easy to explain, better to experience."
"Now? But she's six!."
"Six!" That was the first thing Rose had said throughout the whole time we've been here.
"That doesn't matter. She could be 6 months and it wouldn't make any difference."
"I'm still not sure about this. What will happen, will Alicia be in any danger?"
"No, she'll be perfectly safe. Now, if you don't mind, can you go and get her?"
Rose
This is just weird.
"I can't believe you actually did this and somehow I still don't get it. At least I really hope not."
"I..." He's looking me in the eyes, pleading with me. Oh god I've got to say it.
"You did this ritual and you got a response." I choked on the words. He looked down in shame.
"Rose, I have no idea what I'm doing." What's that supposed to mean?
I know that really I should be feeling sorry for him and probably whoever was on the other end, but in this moment all I feel is jealousy. I've been with this guy for how long and he hasn't even looked at me! Whoever it is is already taking him away from me and now I know why, which makes it worse. Why couldn't it have been me? Why them? Do they even know what's going on?
"Listen to me, Rose. Things are going to happen and I don't have any idea what those things are."
Now I'm scared, very scared and I feel sick. What did Clman mean by instincts? Does the Doctor even know?
"I need you to help me. Understand?"
"Yes, tell you anything and everything that's not normal. Could you let go of me now Doctor." He has a hard grip on my shoulders and I'm not sure he know's about it. He let go and sighed.
"Sorry." He turned to the console drawing a hand down his face. He's already started losing it.
"It's fine." It's not fine, this is definitely not okay. He's scaring me, and his voice just now. I know that voice, but it's never been aimed at me before. That is a bad warning.
"There's something else as well, we have to go and get her."
"Do we have too?" My voice is shaky. I don't like this, I'm even considering going home. It's also the first time the Doctor could possibly have been about to attack me. But he needs me and I'll never leave him while he needs me.
"Who is she?" There are some things I need to know. It just so happens they're things I want to know as well.
"All I know is she's called Alicia Bennett, she's six and..."
He grabbed his hair and started having a small personal tantrum against himself.
"Doctor, calm down." I look carefully at him. He seems to be having more trouble than I thought he would. Then he uncurled himself.
"Right, yes, sorry." He leaned on the console. "I can't do this, I have to take you home."
"But,"
I can tell he's trying hard not to shout at me. "I promised your mother I would keep you safe, you're not safe here anymore."
"That's not it is it? You don't want me to meet her, do you?"
"You don't understand."
"No, you don't understand! You asked for my help in this. I can't do that from mum's. What if you went and did something stupid because I wasn't there to stop you? Even if this is only about you not wanting me near your new, thing."
"Thing!" Bad step.
"Sorry, partner. I won't hurt her. You should know that better than anyone.
"And what if I hurt you. What if I don't manage to get through this and I hurt you. You know what I nearly did earlier?"
"And I know that you never will because I know you can get through this. You just need a bit of help. You can control this. I'll be here every step of the way, but only if you let me stay." I softened my voice.
There was a pause. "Alright, I won't take you home." He took his hand off the brake and cancelled the coordinates. Then he punched in some new ones.
"If we're not going home where are we going?" I watch him wipe his hand over his face, clearly trying not to shout at me again. He didn't answer. I'm trying to stay calm.
"Doctor, tell me what we're doing." I plead with him.
"We're picking up Alicia."
"Doctor, how old is she? Before, right now before we get her, how old is she now?" He didn't look at me. He didn't raise or lower his voice. He's ashamed about something he couldn't control.
"I'm getting her while she's still six."
"No one can ever find out about this." I breathed.
"Don't you think I know that! Sorry. I, I can't help it." He sighed.
"Yes, you can, and we're not going anywhere until you do. Who knows what could happen to that child with you like this." Who knows what could happen to anyone with him like this! I've only seen this kind of anger before he regenerated. If I could stop him then, I can stop him now. The sudden reversion Is terrifying, but not something I haven't seen before.
How could he have even considered seeing her like this.
"Good, so, if we're going to see Alicia we need to sort you out first."
"There might be something that can help." He searched around and produced a bottle. "Lanas oil. It works quickly. It's illegal in most places but if I only use a little bit..." He poured some on his hand and wiped it on the back of his neck.
"Doctor?" He just stood there, unresponsive. I took the bottle out of his hand and helped him to sit down. "A bit much?" He slowly turned his head to look at me. "Yeah, a bit much"
The only thing I can think of is to wait it out. It took about an hour before he was lucid enough to do anything and another half hour before I decide it's safe enough to leave. With only a little of the Lanas oils effect left he's almost back to normal.
Doctor
"Sorry, I haven't used Lanas oil in a long time. I forgot how strong it was."
"Next time be more careful."
"Just hope there isn't a next time. Lanas oils a recreational drug not a medicine. It's illegal because it's so easy to cause permanent brain damage, if I was anyone else I should have died the first time I used it."
"What do you mean the first time."
"I was in a bad place before I met you."