Fujino - Enamoured Abhorrence

by Twisted Eternal Wolvetta

"What has happened to Kiyohime!" Her throat was raw, the larynx enclosing around her voice box tightly. Instead, she could only hoarsely whisper: "To us...?"

1. Inner Turmoil

By Twisted Eternal Wolvetta
—For Beth Cyra & Holadiven—

Fujino ~ Enamoured Abhorrence
Chapter 01: Inner Turmoil

Fujino Shizuru, the student council president of Fuuka Academy suppressed a secret—or rather, had. In reality, it had been one of many; something so abominable it had remained private for years. The secret was enclosed within the dark recesses of her mind, desperately abandoned to be forgotten. She, with all her heart, craved for her friend, Kuga Natsuki. This infatuation had kindled during her adolescence. A period paramount for all girls, and a realm of darkness for queers. The revelation that she desired the younger woman had broken her. How could she? How could such a role model conceal such a disgusting secret? In Fujino Shizuru's childhood eyes, she was a monster—a being so opposite to her peers, she may as well become a legend. Maybe this is why she is a—"Kiyohime." The title drawled without emotion, but her CHILD never manifested. Staggering close to her unrequited love, her hands clenched into orange fleece. Legs buckling from beneath her, Shizuru's knees slammed against asphalt. A cry slipping from her lips as her head lulled between their bodies. She is nothing but a villain; a person who has betrayed all morality for her love. "N-Na-Nat-suki." She deplored as her voice cracked, shoulders quaking under regretful burden. Shizuru was petrified; why is her CHILD refusing to materialise?! Why now when she needed Kiyohime the most?! Why? Why? ...Why?! This accursed word rendered her down like a demon devouring its prey.

Mercilessly it tore into her conscience, conceiving deluded scenarios to torment her beyond insanity. Clawing her fingernails into Natsuki's front, she pleaded: "N-Nats...uki… w-hy is Kiyo… ugh." Her torso toppled forward as Natsuki stepped away from her. Hands splaying outwards, her fingertips skidded along black asphalt. "Natsuki! Why?!" Staring precariously at the younger woman, Shizuru heaved her weight up onto a forearm. "What has happened to Kiyohime?!" Her throat was raw, the larynx enclosing around her voice box tightly. Instead, she could only hoarsely whisper: "To us...? What..." Clenching her hands into fists, she hauled herself up onto her feet. Her mental welfare crashed down around her in droves. Like torrential rain, her psych was plunged downriver into the unknown. If she couldn't summon her own CHILD, then this meant—"Natsuki!" Stumbling forward in her bid to reach her, Shizuru's arms stretched out to unconsciously catch herself. Miraculously, rather than smashing into the floor, she crashed into the woman's arms. Braced by the younger woman, Shizuru was guided back to her knees. It was only now that she realised they were surrounded by rubble and debris. The shrine… they had destroyed it… "...Nats...uki." Staring through her, Shizuru's fingertips slid against orange fleece uselessly. Why had she almost abandoned her like that? Why didn't Kiyohime materialise? Why had—The younger HiME's gaze encaptured hers abruptly. A multitude of emotions teemed her face, revealing something Shizuru hadn't dared to hope for.

Anxiety. Curiosity. Desire. Did Kuga Natsuki realise her own wish? Had she ever believed her feelings were real? Did they perhaps play tricks on her? Watching Natsuki's expression twitch, Shizuru could only seize her wrists tightly; a look of shock, the tension heightening tenfold—until nothing at all. They stared at one another as daybreak crept above the forest's canopy. Sunlight engulfed the ruined shrine, rays flooding through the broken windows. The glitter rested along their forms, casting short shadows. "Natsuki." The student council president murmured, landing her hands against her shoulders. "I… am sorry." It was remarkable that Shizuru hadn't crumbled at that moment. Lips opening ajar, she eased closer hesitantly. Natsuki never manourved away, her grimace to the sunlight contorting into uncertainty. She wearily settled her hands atop Shizuru's to then, unexpectedly indeed, drag forward. Shizuru was baffled by what had happened. Without warning, Natsuki had lunged against her. Their lips crashed together heatedly. Fujino Shizuru couldn't believe her luck! She… she… "Nats-tsuki." Unable to help herself, her fatigued body succumbed to exhaustion. Embracing the younger HiME, her arms enclosed their bodies together. Every touch sent a shiver through Shizuru as she pulled their lips apart—only to mesh them back together a moment later.

...But this isn't real, now is it?

Plunging awake, Shizuru's heart hammered wildly as she stared through the darkness at her ceiling. A dream—or rather, a nightmare. Rolling onto her side in her futon, a volley of dry heaving began, coughing raggedly into her hands. After several minutes, a groan escaped from her lips. It had been two days since the HiME Carnival had concluded. For her, no respite had arrived. Instead, her mental health had deteriorated further. She didn't feel guilty that she had abandoned her fellow HiME—especially Natsuki. What good would it do to continue hounding them? The dark morality of her inner turmoil tormented her. How could she remain sane as CHILDs died by her hand? Could she ever seek forgiveness for everything she has ever committed? She had murdered the innocent, belittled those unable to stand against her—molested her most precious person…! What she had done… it was deplorable.