We're Just Kids
Summary: Josslyn and Dev talk after Taggert's memorial. Trina looks through pictures. Cam can't sleep.
When Josslyn entered the house, she was silent, hands shaking as she headed up the stairs and to her room, shrugging off her jacket and resting it on her desk chair before she walked to the bed and collapsed onto it. She didn't bother to take off her heels as she turned onto her back, gaze on the ceiling. Being at the memorial had been hard. Josslyn could remember being in her best friend's position last year when Oscar died and before that, when Morgan did. She recalled too, the anger that she'd lashed out at Sonny, the way Trina had lashed out at Curtis. It was an emotion Josslyn knew well, it had taken months to get over that hurdle.
A knock on her bedroom door broke her from her thoughts and she sat up just as it opened.
Dev stood on the doorway, hesitant expression on his face. "Are you okay?" He asked, stepping inside the room. He moved to sit beside of her on the bed, their shoulders brushing.
A shrug answered him. "Better than Trina." She turned her head to look at him, blonde hair surrounding her face like a curtain. "You should've seen her, Dev. I've never seen her look so broken before. I've known her since I was nine. I mean, she's the strong one when it comes to She, Cam, and I. She's the one who's usually comforting us."
Her friend sucked in a breath. "Well at least she's not alone." His voice was comforting as he said it.
Josslyn scoffed at that. "We shouldn't be in that position, though. I should've never been in the shooting on the docks, you should've never had a bullet in your bag, Cam and Trina should've never been kidnapped. We're just kids, Dev. We should be worrying about football games, who we want to ask to the dance, and grades. Not...not this."
Dev was silent at that. He didn't know what to say. He certainly couldn't argue with it. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Josslyn as he did all of those months ago, back when she'd cried on the lock bridge. He buried his face in her hair, smelling the apple scent of her shampoo. He felt her cling to him, burying her face into his neck and letting her hot tears spill onto his skin.
Across town, Trina sat in her own bedroom, flipping through a small photo album she had. Her pictures of she and her father were few and far between. Despite the fact that they loved and cared for each other, they hadn't seen one another often. It made the pictures that she did have all the more important. She stopped on a picture of him holding her when she was around two, taking in how much younger he looked and the smile etched on his face as he stared down at her. She sniffled. She still couldn't believe that he was gone. It truly wasn't fair at all. She didn't understand why Curtis couldn't have saved him.
Trina had always been jealous of Josslyn. Of course, she loved her best friend, but Josslyn had two parents who loved her and who were always there for her. Even when Jax had been in Australia, the blonde had seen him often and talked about him that her adoration was easy to spot. And Trina had never seen a mother and daughter as close as Josslyn and Carly. Trina couldn't relate to that. Her relationship with her mother was strained. Neither of them really understood the other and her mother worked often, so Trina hardly ever saw her. Her father had never fully been involved in her life for her own protection, she knew now. And now she'd never have the chance to be close to him the way she'd dreamed of. It was completely unfair.
Cam's sat up in his bed, gasping harshly as he awakened from yet another nightmare. It had been the same since that night. It seemed so silly now that before the event had occured, he'd been worried about the dance and trying to confess his feelings for Josslyn. It had seemed like his biggest problem then. And then he and Trina were taken and her father was shot. He shook his head and tiptoed out of bed and to the bathroom he and his brothers shared, staring at his reflection in the mirror on the medicine cabinet. He looked awful. Dark circles seemed to be permanently etched under his eyes and his skin was pallid. It was as if he hadn't seen the sun in years. His hands shook as he leaned them against the bathroom counter and breathed in and out slowly, counting to ten.
He couldn't help but wonder if things would ever get better or if he'd always be looking over his shoulder in fear. He hoped that he wouldn't but he was beginning to doubt it. He knew his mother and Franco worried for him. They seemed to step on eggshells around him. He'd even seen worry in his brothers' eyes, clearly he'd failed at acting normal around them as much as he'd tried. The guilt overwhelmed him. How was he supposed to be a good big brother and son if he couldn't even sleep without the aid of pills? It just felt like another problem added on top of all the others his family had. He felt like another financial burden. He knew his mother wouldn't like him thinking that way about himself but he couldn't help it. It felt like the honest truth and it made it hard for him to even breathe.