Failures

Summary- Jiraiya was always a failure. That's what he had always thought. But he did something right in the end, didn't he?

Jiraiya, the gallant toad sage of mount Myoboku, one of the three Sannin, god's gift to women everywhere (according to him), was a man with a vast amount of experience. He had lived quite a long life, especially by shinobi standards. Had seen and done many things, great and terrible. Had ended and had saved lives.

But if you asked him, his biggest achievement and failure was being a teacher. He had far too many regrets in life, one of his biggest ones from being a poor teammate to his other teammates, one too lost in his insanity, and the other crushed beneath the weight of her grief for such a long time. He was a dead last in the academy and a bratty loudmouth as a genin and he sometimes felt sorry for Sarutobi-sensei, to have to deal with three big pains in the ass, for so long.

But there was one thing he had never regretted, and that was, being a teacher. Even though all of his students had been lost to him, he viewed all of them as his sons and daughters.

His first students, Nagato, Yahiko and Konan. Three little orphans in Ame, bodies tiny but hearts and will larger than life. He had done his best by them, taught them all they needed to survive. And they had grown. Oh, how had they matured. He wanted to stay with them but his duty as a Konoha Shinobi had come first, always. So, it was with a sad but satisfied heart that he left them, trusting in them enough to follow their own paths.

"Oh and what a path they followed" He mused to himself, drowning and pierced through by black rods that ate his chakra and caused pain like no other.

His next student, Minato. A genius. A prodigy, the likes of which the world hadn't seen in a hundred years. He was so, so proud of that damn brat. Had taken him under his wing as a Jounin sensei, had watched him blaze through the ranks. Had watched him invent his fearsome jutsu and his frightening battle prowess in the third shinobi war.

But he had witnessed a side to Minato that very few had seen. His gentle, caring side. The one that caused him to fall in love with that firecracker, Kushina. The one that made him such an excellent sensei to three brats, who had enough problems between just the three of them to drive a psychiatrist to tears. The one that had caused him to weep and mourn for his two dead students, and worry about his remaining student, that neurotic scarecrow. The one that had caused him to break down after that battle in Iwa.

The one that made him a wonderful father.

The one that allowed him to make the ultimate sacrifice for the village that he had loved from the bottom of his heart.

There didn't go a single day, when Jiraiya didn't miss the cheeky blond brat, with all his eccentricity and his wife, the red-haired hellion.

He still remembered the numbness he had felt upon reading a message from Sarutobi-sensei, telling him that his student, his family had died.

Leaving behind their infant son, with the Kyuubi sealed in him to boot.

Never had Jiraiya ran so fast in his life. And on seeing the baby, (Naruto, his mind supplied, almost accusingly, the baby your student had named after a character in your very first book.), he felt so very helpless. Powerless, in a way that the great toad sage hadn't felt in a very long time. His student's son, Konoha's Jinchuriki. Jiraiya knew that he couldn't take the boy with him, with the council and the messy nature of the situation. Plus, Sarutobi-sensei had just decreed that his status as a Jinchuriki would remain a secret, so he would probably be fine.

Ah, who was he kidding? Those were just the excuses that he had given to himself, to absolve himself of his sin. His sin, of not taking care of his student's son on the time when he needed it the most. All because of his stupid grief and regret, forcing him to see too much of Naruto's parents in the kid.

So, Jiraiya added one more failure to his already long list of them.

When Jiraiya finally saw Naruto, twelve years later, it was as if the ghosts of his regrets, a bit faded now, had come back to haunt him again. That was Kushina's smile, with a bit of Minato's gentleness mixed in. Minato's eyes, with the sheer life in them being like Kushina's. Kushina's catchphrase. Minato's hair, Kushina's face…

There were so many things that he could go on and on. Forcing himself to swallow past the lump in his throat, he had plastered on his best smile, did his usual dance routine, and offered to train the boy.

Because even though Jiraiya was a failure, that didn't mean that he couldn't at least try to correct some wrongs.

Naruto, he had learned, was no prodigy. He was very much like his mother and himself, in that he learned things by doing, not sitting in front of a book and reading from it. However, the kid had something special. And Jiraiya didn't mean the Kyuubi.

There was a spark, a fire inside him. A fire that screamed, I am not going to give up. I am not going to bow. At first, Jiraiya thought the kid was dumb as a rock with only sheer guts taking him this far. However, Naruto proved himself to be so much more. Defeating the jinchuuriki of the one tailed beast, learning the Rasengan in one week, convincing Tsunade to come home, there was definitely more to the boy than simply a stubborn loudmouth.

Seeing Naruto's tears after he failed to bring the Uchiha back home, Jiraiya had finally put a word to it. Naruto was kind. Unbearably so. Kind enough to care so much about his precious people, genuinely giving and caring to such an extent that he would give up his life for them. Kind enough to care about virtual strangers, and kind enough to want to spare the enemy, even when they deserved death. Yes, he was a little rough around the edges, but Jiraiya could finally see how this kid could become Hokage. With his compassion and innate understanding of people, Jiraiya started to look forward to the day his brat became the Hokage.

Even after giving him a harsh lecture and ultimatum to drop his quest to bring the Uchiha back, the little idiot still stuck to his beliefs. He even said that if that was what made him an idiot, it was better to remain an idiot for the rest of his life. Jiraiya had been so proud of the brat, if not equally exasperated at his bullheadedness. He allowed himself to hope, that with Naruto, things would be different than him and Orochimaru. Too many regrets lay there.

Three years passed in a blur. The brat grew. But the majority of Jiraiya's time spent in correcting the kid's basics. He cursed the academy teachers (and himself, in a small corner of his mind) far too many times to remember. The effect of the neglect from the village, just added to his worries. There were so many times Jiraiya had wondered how many of his student's megawatt grins were actually real. And Jiraiya added one more to his list of failures. His and his village's failure, as a whole.

But finally the brat became a good shinobi. He still remembered the haunted look in Naruto's eyes, when he had woken up in a hospital, with a bandage over the gaping hole in his chest that Naruto, under the influence of the Kyuubi chakra had given him. He swore to himself to be more careful, for Naruto's sake if nothing else, because he couldn't stand to see the empty look in the brat's eyes.

The brat loved Ramen like no other thing, and it was in the small dinners he had with his student that Jiraiya got to know him a bit better. He used to wonder, why the brat liked the damn thing so much, but after seeing the Ichiraku's demeanor, he put the pieces together. They had shown him kindness and warmth when he needed it the most. A lonely boy, starving, for acknowledgement above anything else, and they were the people to fill a little of the hole in his soul. Why wouldn't he love Ramen, when it constantly reminded him of his precious people?

During this period, Jiraiya realized that Naruto was so much more than just Minato and Kushina. Yes, they were there, but there were some parts to him that were completely his own. And Jiraiya started to cherish those little things all the more. He even told the brat of his dream, of ending the cycle of hatred. Maybe, if it was Naruto. Well, the knucklehead had a knack of doing the impossible, didn't he?

They returned to Konoha. The one-tailed Jinchuuriki, now the Kazekage, got kidnapped and Naruto with his friends went after him. They succeeded and Jiraiya just shook his head at the sheer madness that seemed to follow his student around.

Time flew, and Jiraiya learnt of the Akatsuki's headquarters in Ame. Deciding to infiltrate it, he told Tsunade his plan to enter Ame and gather information. They both knew that this could potentially be the last time they ever saw each other, but Jiraiya had already far too many failures and regrets in his life. He didn't want his final movements with Tsunade to be sad ones.

So they talked and drank merrily into the night, with unsaid could haves and would haves between them. He had always loved her, and no amount of whores and alcohol that he had buried himself with, changed that irrefutable fact.

Jiraiya knew that he was walking to his death. The leader of the Akatsuki was a very powerful man, and while Jiraiya was confident of his own prowess, somewhere, in his mind, he knew that he wouldn't be walking away from this fight. But Konoha needed him to do this. More importantly, his student, that loud, obnoxious brat needed him.

So, Jiraiya entered Ame.

The encounter with Nagato, now Pain, and Konan was painful, ironically. He had met them again after so many years. But to learn that they were the enemy, saddened him beyond belief. In his mind, he could still see the three of them, small children fighting against the world for each other and the country they loved so much. Hearing about Yahiko's death further made him question his decision of leaving them behind.

But what was done was done. There was a fight to be had.

All of this ran through his mind, almost in the blink of an eye, as he lay there dying.

Images of his students flashed through his mind.

Yahiko, Nagato and Konan, determined and brave, with tears in their eyes as they waved goodbye.

Minato and Kushina, telling him they had named the baby Naruto.

And finally, Naruto. The brat laughing that bright laugh of his, the popsicles they shared, the arguments they had over the silliest of things, the way the knucklehead devoured ramen, the brat calling him by that annoying nickname.

Somehow, Jiraiya knew that things would turn alright in the end, with Naruto there.

He had faith.

"Looking back, my life has been a series of failures, hasn't it? But now that I think about it, it hasn't been all bad. I did something right, in the end."

"And so ends The Tale of Jiraiya The Gallant. I wonder, what should be the sequel named? Hmm…..How about, The Tale of Uzumaki Naruto? That's a nice title…"

With a smile, Jiraiya closed his eyes.

Author's notes:

So…..I wrote something.

Read, and Review, please?

PEACE!