...Hush, the idea was funny to me, alright?

Also, sucks that The Mighty Quest for Epic Loot is defunct. Never got a good chance to really sit down and just...play it, even though I kept meaning to. Oh well!

This is a gamer version of Reincarnated as a Sword, but only in Naruto. I HAVE NEVER WATCHED THE ANIME! Anything which comes across from it is entirely accidental. I just like the idea, but near-nothing aside from the basic premise is being used, which is why I'm not making this a crossover fic.

This is also a !Gamer fic. Kayla is going to be the gamer, she's got the control over stats and stuff. Her wielders, unless she tells them, have no idea of the Game she is in control of. They just think she's a weird talking sword who can make them better somehow through Fuinjutsu or some other bs. The stats are just ripping the S.P.E.C.I.A.L system of Fallout straight out, because it works. I can't be asked to use my own reworked system, and the SPECIAL acronym is neat.

Chapter 1

So, dying sucked real bad.

Granted, it wasn't meant to be a pleasant experience, but dying after 3 hours of varied torture methods from waterboarding and Parrila, to general beating, even mixing some psychological torture in there as well meant that when Kayla's soul began drifting off to wherever souls go when they die, she would have been perfectly happy getting her judgment, which considering she was only being tortured because for the last few years she'd been working as a rather ruthless 'agent' in deep cover, was probably negative, deeming her to go to hell or somewhere where eternal pain was mandatory.

Probably would have been easier than...than this! She was...a sword. A Japanese Jian by her own estimation, a blade she'd been stabbed with on more than one occasion, though that wasn't the only thing bizarre. She could sort of...project her view-point outwards and look inwardly at herself. To be honest, it was weird that she, a fucking sword, could see at all! The blade she had apparently become was rather...plain by her own estimation, no gemstones or stupidly intricate handles, she was just a nice regular sword. Of course, that then beggared a far more important question...why the fuck she could see a toolbar on her vision?

It was always hovering there, no matter how she twisted, turned, or loop-de-looped around herself it never went away. It did flash red when she tried to keep viewing out past the nearest trees surrounding her, repulsing her camera and making a vaguely angry noise, like it couldn't believe she'd tried to do that, that it was forbidden or something. Though it irked her, Kayla was also smart enough to know not to antagonize whatever the hell that was, though her natural want to disobey came careening in and all but demanded she do something irritating just to get back at that annoying little toolbar.

So she plowed her vision into the ground. Then bounced off the floor and tumbled over backwards from the impact, a phantom sensation of banging her nose against a wall coming to mind as she reeled from the impact. That time, the bar didn't flash red. So smashing herself into the ground wasn't frowned upon, but trying to go too far away from herself was a no-no? That made at least a bit of sense, she figured.

Kayla then shifted her 'eyes' to look at the toolbar, but every slot was currently blank, nothing Kayla did changed anything that she could see, so in the end she huffed to herself and dismissed it out of her vision. Of course, it remained there, hovering just within sight, silently taunting her with its uselessness. For a moment she thought about trying to fly away, to observe it when it flickered red, but decided it wasn't worth antagonizing whatever entity had set her up here.

"-elling you I heard something thump over here Boss!" A female voice called through the treeline, followed by a loud thwacking sound, then a grunt of pain as someone hit the ground.

"And how many times do I have to tell you dimwitted bastards to keep your fucking VOICES DOWN?!" He bellowed the last two words in fury. As she listened, she could hear muttered words that were too faint to make out over the sound of grass being kicked aside and branches being snapped from trees or stepped on as the group approached her location. That...could be bad. She didn't know what was going to happen, but- "That is, unless you want to bring down a bunch of Clan Ninja on our fucking heads?" Another thwack.

Kayla wasn't paying much attention to that. Her situation was already completely bizarre, but...fucking NINJA?! Sure, because why the fuck not? She was a disembodied view-point bound to a bland-looking sword, with a toolbar hovering in the side of her vision like a crappy browser add-on, why not add ninja from feudal Japan or some shit into the mix, that sounded just fine and dandy!

Another branch snapped, then the brush surrounding her little area was parted to reveal...an ugly bastard. No really, he was ugly, missing a few teeth, scars that, far from making him look rogueish, made him look like he was the worlds stupidest idiot, most of them looked either self-inflicted in a vain attempt to look badass, or done while he was lying down. His eyes were pretty darkened, set deeply in his sockets and giving him a pretty gaunt appearance. "Boss, there's a sword here."

The brush beside him parted in two places, revealing a brown-headed woman and...now that was a specimen. Sculpted cheeks, blue eyes that honest-to-god sparkled, a chiseled jawline tickled by his medium-length blonde hair, and a giant fuck-off sword on his back, one hand resting on the handle which unconsciously flexed his muscles. And weren't they just...perfect, a perfect blend of muscle but without making him look like a steroid-filled meathead. He had a few scars on his forearms, and one which ran from just under his jaw up his cheek a little way, adding that perfect little hint of danger to an otherwise heraldic face. He spoke, and it was like...like...-

"Bah, if that's a fucking sword, my dick is smaller than yours!" Like a bastard she wanted to stab in the face repeatedly. He had no fucking appreciation for a good sword obviously. She had a good edge, at least as far as she could tell. And sure, she didn't have any fancy jewels or intricate inlays or gilding, but she was still a good enough fucking sword. "Hey Charli, why don't you fucking have it, suits a plain-ass bitch like you." The woman beside him stepped up, wrapping one hand around Kayla's grip and lifting her up in one smooth, easy motion, flourishing her around a few times before resting the flat of the blade atop her shoulder.

Kayla would have appreciated it, really. That was, only if she didn't already have her mind occupied with all the ways she could castrate the man who hadn't just insulted her, but also his two companions. It was a bit...dizzying suddenly having her focal point shifted as her blade moved, but it meant that she didn't have to think about moving to keep up as 'Charli', apparently who was holding her, jogged back to the side of the ex-god, who had now been demoted from his position of 'Manly God of Perfect Body', becoming instead 'The Reviled Enemy of the Hundred Swords Order', named after the fact that Kayla planned to lodge at least a hundred swords in the bastard before letting him die. The best part was that she knew every point she could stab and not kill him until she lodged a full hundred swords in his worthless body.

He still looked gorgeous, but he was a complete and utter bastard, not even worth consideration in her mind anymore. Instead, she turned her attention to the woman holding her. True to his word at least, she was pretty plainly-featured, with brown hair to her shoulders, a pretty bland face devoid of any features bar a smattering of freckles which ran from cheek to cheek across her nose.

With transportation obtained, Kayla turned her attention to her toolbar, because in the corner of her eye she'd noticed a change, pulling it across and looking directly at it.

Wielder: Charli - +10% to stolen currency drops, +10% to intimidation when in presence of 'The Boss'

That was...weird. As she read, more lines of text appeared in the toolbar, binding themselves into the allotted bars and spitting out information when she observed them

Name: Nameless (Self-identified as 'Kayla')

Level: 1 - 0/100 EXP

Sword-type: Japanese Jian, 10 damage, no Special Ability

Title: N/A

Health(HP): ?/? - 1HP/per second regeneration rate

Energy(EP): 100/100 - 1EP/per second regeneration rate

Strength: 0 - Increases direct, physical damage, +5 per point

Perception: 0 - Increases distance from sword which can be travelled, +5 meters per point, more likely to detect hidden foes

Endurance: 0 - Raises HP, +10 per point, +0.1 regen rate

Charisma: 0 - Grants ability to communicate, +5% better prices per point

Intelligence: 0 - Grants ability to use spells, raises MP, +10 per point, +0.1 regen rate

Agility: 0 - Grants ability to move self, +1m/s per point, Raises EP, +10 per point, +0.1 regen rate

Luck: 0 - Increases chance for good events to happen, decreases chance for negative events to happen

Status Effects:

Unbreakable - You are an Unbreakable blade. HP is set to infinite.

Devourer - You devour. Chance to gain attributes of devoured foes in the form of Experience, Actions, Status Effects, permanent buffs, and various other things.

Actions:

Bolster Wielder - Rank 1 - Gives +1 to all Wielder stats, 10 Energy per second.

Drain Target - Rank 1 - Drains targetted foe for Health and Energy upon inflicting damage. Cooldown of 30 seconds after ability is procked. Cannot be stacked. Quantity of HP/EP drained based on quantity of damage.

...

The list went on and on for ages, to the point Kayla got dizzy looking down at it all. The things she was most excited about where the facts that she was unbreakable, that if she levelled her Agility she'd be able to move herself, and that she could devour things to basically become a better, well, sword. She was curious exactly how that was going to work, but instead, she took note of the ability Bolster Wielder. Being able to make Charli stronger, even if only a little, would be extremely powerful. That one action would give her +5 damage, +10 HP, EP and MP, +1m/s movement speed, and make her luckier for a short period.

In the middle of a fight, even that little difference could throw off most opponents. And, since right now she had no means to move herself, she had to rely on her wielder to give her experience, feed her devour ability, and basically do everything. For the moment she was just a normal sword, doomed to be used by a wielder until such a time as she could 'level-up'. Her first point would most certainly go into Agility, she needed control over her own movement. Then after that, Charisma, so she could actually speak. After that, she'd go for whatever she deemed necessary, perhaps buffing her Agility to a degree that 'death by a thousand cuts' would be feasible.

But, for now, she was merely a sword like any other.

"Jeez, what are you even made out of?"

Charli smashed the sword down again, trying to see if the blade would chip even just a little bit. She wasn't a shinobi or anything fancy, but she'd heard that some of those legendary fighters carried swords rumoured to be...well...unbreakable. But...the sword she was holding couldn't possibly be one of those. Looking at it, it was...bland, uninteresting. It didn't even have an inlay, no gilding nor any decorations, so it couldn't possibly be some rich old ninja's lost weapon.

Despite that, no matter what she did, slamming it into rocks, burying it deeply into tree trunks, even getting Ishikawa to hammer it with his own colossal sword, it didn't even chip. At one point she'd put it over a rock, pinned the handle end down, then threw the heaviest rock she could find onto the other end, to try and snap the blade in two, such was her frustration at the blade being so damn unbreakable.

All that happened was that she was sent flying upwards a few foot when the rock slammed down, coming to a stop with the sword nearly landing on her. Huffing, she dusted herself off, giving a baleful eye at the sword. After everything she put it through, the blade didn't have as much as a scratch. It wasn't that she thought an unbreakable blade was impossible, that was very much so. It was the fact that she knew she was not so lucky as to merely stumble across one in a forest.

Snatching the sword up, she wound her belt over to create a makeshift sword-frog, pulling the leather taut around the sword after packing a few strands of cloth in the way to prevent it from slicing the belt open. At the very least, it was still just as sharp as she'd found it, which was, admittedly, only a little sharper than the small dagger she'd had before.

What threw her off though was that sometimes, after touching it, she felt...stronger. Not in the sense that she was now holding a deadly weapon, and that with the sword in her hands she was stronger than a lot of people, but more...palpable, as though she was moving faster, hitting harder, generally being stronger. She couldn't quite identify any kind of pattern behind the strange feeling, it happened every minute or so, lasting maybe ten seconds before fading, but she definitely felt like something was...pushing her, improving her. She didn't like it much, having something acting on her which she didn't understand. But if she ever wanted to get away from the lifestyle of a bandit, away from Ishikawa, well...

...she'd need all the help she could get.

"Oh my god just swing me already you dumb fucking bitch!"

Kayla was yelling, or at least wishing she could yell, at Charli. The three musketeers, or their far more inept counterparts, had come across a small group of five armed, but clearly poorly-trained, travellers. Being the upstanding and true-to-form bandits they were, they demanded that they hand over all their goods, valuables, weapons, things of that nature, and they wouldn't get hurt. Being humans, the travellers took umbrage at this, loudly proclaiming that it was the bandits, not they, who were outnumbered, then countered by demanding that the bandits relinquish all their goods.

This rather quickly sparked a battle, as the two sides devolved first into a pointless yelling match, then into swords being waved around, then finally they met in a clash of steel. Not really caring who won, Kayla haphazardly enabled Bolster Wielder and Drain Target on random fits of whimsy. This increase and decrease in skill made Charli's actions nigh-unpredictable since even slight changes in speed, strength, etc would throw her opponents off.

She picked up a few cuts along the way of course, which wasn't something Kayla was responsible for, nor did she really care about it much. At one point she nearly got sliced across her back, the one time Kayla actively did something useful by activating Bolster Wielder and making her accidentally step out of the path of the unseen blade, then whirl around as she felt the air breeze across her neck to strike a crippling blow on her surprised opponent. While he didn't die from the slash itself, Drain Target sucked away all his remaining health, refilling Kayla's energy.

What she cared about more though, were the rewards she was getting.

+47 EXP!

+23 EXP (Assist)!

+34 EXP!

In one battle she was already over level two, though she didn't have any points to spend, nor did her experience bar say she'd levelled. It said 104/100 EXP, so presumably she couldn't level up in a battle or something. Regardless, Kayla was pleasantly surprised that her wielder was actually a decent fighter, killing two foes by herself and assisting her ugly partner by hitting his opponent and distracting him long enough for the other man to stab through his throat, inadvertently covering Kayla and Charli in blood.

Ishikawa, which was the name for the big fucker with a giant greatsword, handled two enemies on his lonesome, bisecting one and using the sheer weight of his sword to lunge out of the way of the other man as he brought a blade down to try and get revenge, then whirling around and cutting his head straight off, in the same motion flicking all the blood from his sword, then slinging it across his back smoothly.

Sure, it looked cool, but he was still a bastard who she wanted no business with. "Heh, guess that letter-opener ain't so bad after all then, eh Charli?" The young woman gave a shrug, swinging her about a few times before slipping her back into the little loop she'd made on her belt. She wanted to yell at her that those 'civilians' had been carrying swords, and that she could hunt for a proper sword-frog, or maybe even a sheath, but she got distracted when the taskbar flashed gold a few times, then snapped into the middle of her vision.

Level Up - Level 2!

3 upgrade points gained. Status bars refilled. Negative status effects removed.

Upgrade points? In the very few 'RPG's she played, they were usually stat points or something. Then again, she did have ranks for her actions, so maybe she was also meant to spend those points upgrading her actions. Immediately she slotted a point into Agility, then Charisma, but sat on the final point, not quite sure as to what she wanted. Intelligence would unlock spells, but considering she could now move herself, if she managed to get her agility up to about 20, she would be able to swing herself at about 70km/h, which is roughly how fast the average person can swing a sword, meaning she'd be perfectly proficient at attacking people with her own strength.

Ergo, she wouldn't need a wielder to survive. Granted, she didn't need anything to survive, she was literally unbreakable, but she would prefer to exist under her own strength. Even if she was now stuck in a blade of...possibly steel, perhaps iron, she wasn't sure actually, she wouldn't stop that from enjoying her life, or rather, unlife. She could still enjoy watching a sunset, or reading a book, perhaps even getting back into the same kind of work she did before getting captured, tortured and killed, wet-work!

Or maybe she could just let the dice fall where they may.

"Where the fuck did it fucking go?"

Rustling her own hair up slightly as she fisted fingers through it in exasperation, Charli refrained from throwing a rock at Kenta, who she assumed had stolen the sword from her for some kind of stupid joke. Ishikawa was too busy snoring his lungs out, but Kenta was pointedly looking at the fire. Or at least, to her it looked like he was doing so. In fact, he was just dozing slightly, but in her angry state, she didn't realize that.

Looking back over her meagre belongings, she reconfirmed that her sword was, in fact, missing. As she spun around to take out her frustrations on Kenta for fucking with her stuff, she caught a glint of steel in the treeline. Peering in that direction, she crept forwards, Kenta and Ishikawa forgotten entirely as she looked at the sword lying on the floor, a small shaft of the fading sunlight reflecting off the blade edge slightly.

Sighing in annoyance at her blade being carelessly flung into the forest, she stomped over and snatched it up, wiping away some grass and dirt. As she made to sling it back into her belt and go yell at Kenta, who she still presumed to have thrown her sword out, she stopped. The trees around here all had slices, small, thin ones, evidently made slowly, as if someone had taken the sword and slowly sliced at the surface of the trees.

Blinking, she looked down at her blade, taking it up in one hand, then looking at the floor where she brushed away the grime which had marred it slightly. In the mix of gunk, there were small bits of bark amongst the dirt and grass strands, so evidently the marks had been made with her blade. The big question was just how those marks had appeared. She would have noticed if Kenta or Ishikawa had disappeared for long enough to make the hundreds of small grooves in the trees, but unless someone else was in the area, she was stumped. Deciding she wouldn't find any answers just thinking like that, she slung the blade into her belt and stomped back into the camp, settling down and watching the fire from a distance.

The next day, after finding another small caravan but deciding the Shinobi guarding it were far too strong for them to engage, they came back to camp empty-handed, settling down. Once again, her blade went missing. This time, the hairs on her arm rose as she noticed it. The entire time, both Kenta and Ishikawa were in her line of sight the entire time, not a single time did she let them slip from her view, and her blade still vanished.

When she turned and noticed her sword was gone, she kept her cool, but began observing the forest, her ears pricked. After a few moments, she heard such a tiny thud that, were she not listening for that exact sound, she would have missed it. Avoiding their notice, Charli got up and walked in the direction of the thudding noise, slowly speeding up until she arrived where her sword was, growling in frustration.

Her blade was on the ground again, the edge once again coated in dirt, grass and tree bark. She wiped the blade down angrily, glaring around at the trees, then glaring at her sword, then in general flipping off the forest before she returned to camp, one hand on her sword handle at all times. That was just it, some fucker was chasing them, messing with her mind. The worst part? She couldn't tell Kenta or Ishikawa. If she did, they'd laugh it off as her being insane.

Instead, she spent the entirety of the next day on alert, one hand rarely straying from her blade, her eyes flickering across the trees endlessly. She knew someone was trying to fuck with her mind, it was just that simple. As soon as she managed to catch them, she'd run her sword through them for trying to manipulate her mind. Or maybe...she looked down at her sword.

The sword was pretty weird just for being so fucking unbreakable. Maybe there was a curse on it or something? Maybe that was why it was left abandoned in the middle of a forest? Maybe...that evening, after they settled down, she relinquished the grasp she had on her sword then set it down beside her as she sat down, making sure to let her eyes drift away from her blade every so often, but subtly peeking back at it out of the very corner of her eye.

A few minutes passed before she saw a slight bit of movement. Carefully, she slid her eyes to the side, but nothing. Determined now, she looked away again, but listened carefully. She heard the scrape of steel against the bark of the fallen tree she was sat against, and twitched her eyes to her side, just in time to see...the sword fall over onto the grass. Growling in frustration, she used her boot to hammer down on the tip of the sword, kicking it up and grabbing it by the handle, then smacking it against the wood with an annoyed huff.

Within a few minutes, the blade shifted again. She waited a few moments, and it shifted again. She wasn't trying to see it any more, she was instead listening. As the sound drew away from her, she looked to her side. "Gotcha." She muttered, the blade was fucking flying. Well, flying implied some level of speed, it was drifting slowly away, the handle parting grass as it stalked away near-silently.

Grinning, she got up and followed her weapon, watching it drift away through the grass then rise up to chest height once it was a hundred meters or so from the camp. Blinking in surprise, she observed it slowly start swinging at the trees, leaving shallow grooves in the bark. Occasionally it looped down and snuck through the grass, pressing itself lowly enough to hide amongst the stalks, before lunging out...at a very slow speed, but still trying, then stabbing into the unsuspecting...tree.

She couldn't help herself, she snorted loudly as she saw the sword slowly drift through the air. Immediately it dropped to the floor with a thud. Then, after a few moments, she heard an exasperated sigh, making her jump. "Well, I guess I couldn't keep it a secret forever now, could I?" Looking around, Charli couldn't see anyone, and even she was smart enough to realize after only a moment or two that it was the sword talking. As the voice spoke, the sword rose back up, planting itself tip first into the ground. "A pleasure to finally meet you Charli, I am..."

The voice stopped suddenly. "You are...?" Charli trailed off, the absurdity of talking to a sword rubbing off really quickly for some reason. Perhaps it was that once, when she was younger, she saw two shinobi forces battling ferociously, sending mighty cascades of water, fire, wind, earth and lightning blasting across the landscape. Compared to that sight, a talking and floating sword really wasn't as world-shattering.

"I suppose, as you are my wielder, you may choose my name. Just know that I do identify myself as Kayla, yes that is a female name, no you shouldn't read into it too much, and yes, I do in fact reserve the right, as the sword in question, to say your name choices are atrocious which means I can decide to choose my name on the event that you name me something stupid." Charli face-faulted. She'd never been insulted by a sword before, so it was a rather novel experience. "Oh, and if you bash me against one more rock, I swear upon all things good and evil in this world I will run you through. I may be unbreakable, but being smashed around like that is...unpleasant."

"Though I suppose if I must name myself...I would probably call myself Durendal, it means 'The enduring.', which, considering I am unbreakable, sounds like a pretty apt name." Charli tapped her chin, grinning. "What?" Kayla asked.

"Well, since I keep finding you covered in mud, tree bark, but more importantly 'grass', why not the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi?" Kayla had one simple word to say in the face of that name

"...No."

Hooray for swords!

No, Kayla isn't going to be the Kusanagi no Tsurugi, different blade entirely. She may be in the form of a Japanese Jian right now, but just from the fact I've listed that Kayla is a Jian, that tells you she can obtain other sword-types.

This story came out of nowhere after I saw a story called 'A Sword Named Archer'. It didn't quite fit me, but I liked the idea. BUT! I'm not listing this as a crossover for the exact reason that, aside from the idea of a character being a sword, I'm not using ANYTHING from the anime or story. Everything I say regarding her is my own invention, aside from the aforementioned sword part.

Charli is...probably not going to stay as Kayla's wielder, she was honestly meant to be a throwaway character who got Kayla to level two then died, but now I'm building this whole persona in my head, so I don't want her to die, but she isn't quite who I want to wield Kayla.

Kayla is also probably going to surprise a few people by how independent she'll be. Using her agility skill means she can travel at incredible speeds, deliver high-momentum and strong attacks, truly embody herself as a free-spirit who isn't tied down to anyone.

This is gonna be fun!