This was not the first time Cole had lost someone close to him. His mother passed away years ago, leaving the young boy to fend for himself. For most of his life, Cole's father was absent, choosing not to dive deep into how his son was feeling. To say missing out on all those skipped years did not matter, would be a lie; it changed Cole. But now Master Wu was gone as well. Cole told himself he would not let the loss break him again. However, sometimes the earth ninja was left wondering why he still let so many people past the walls he constantly rebuilt up, when the outcome almost always remained the same. It remained awful.
Time seemed to play tricks. It often left people asking themselves if the good would arise over the bad after each and every sorrowful day. It changed people, both physically and mentally. As a ninja, Cole knew this even more personally than others.
So Cole was given a hell of a lot of time to think after so many events spiraled down. He knew it was wrong to blame other members of his team for the lost sensei; he knew the siblings did not mean it. They would sure only hope for the best. Kai and Nya both seemed so distraught over the low blow as well, even more so that they have lost people before too. But everything was easier to deal with if the blame was pinned on someone else.
In no way did this mean Cole had to tell anyone how he felt. If anything, it was even more reasons to hold back and keep it secret. He learned most ways from his father, and unfortunately good old papa Brookstone never knew very well coping mechanisms. Now neither does his son.
So the obvious choice for Cole was to go look for his master. Because what else was there to do? Sulk? It was like when Zane had passed away all over again; the ninja practically split up. This time however, they had attempted to keep fairly in touch, but Cole usually did not answer the phone. He would not let anyone else get close until he found those who deserved to be here first.
The black clad traveled through far away lands the ninja have only dreamed of visiting. Half of these places Cole only thought were fantasies of fiction. But he loved it: the adventure, the distraction, the reason to go outside and be in nature. Cole was really, truly in his element. And, in the long run, it was also his way to cope.
He had brought Jay along with him, for company. Because even after all these troublesome years, Jay always came back to fight by his side somehow. Through the problems and destruction, Jay remained faithful. And throughout the journey's constant bickering and low-leveled jokes, Cole eventually grew thankful he was not completely alone again while searching. Of course came the nagging and complaints, but it made Cole realize how broken his team would end up without knowing their original leader was forever well resting. It put even more determination on his face.
The pair eventually traveled into the snowy ninjago alps.
Cole would be lying to himself if he said he did not feel the need to protect Jay. It felt more genuine than it did before; much more different than it did with the other team members. Sometimes he wanted to stand by lightning's side just to see that grin creep onto the younger boy's rosy lips, to see his cheeks flush up at what lightning always lied to be because of the 'cold weather'. The noitte picked up even more of Jay's bubbly habits.
Like how when Jay was nervous about the situation, not only did his voice quicken and continue to spew out words, but he moved in jitter. When trying to climb through certain peaks of the cold snowy mountain, many times the blue clad paused and walked in place. Every time it put a smile on Cole's face. When Jay was like this, he said anything and everything on his mind; he was practically vulnerable. Cole grew to appreciate how someone could speak what they feel so breathlessly. In the long run, he was growing to appreciate Jay much more.
Cole realized he had truly seen them both grow up, even more so than some lesson learned by battle. He had watched time carve them into something more; the clock ticking by let him pay attention to each beautiful detail.
Cole himself has flourished into a strong, level-headed leader. He tried to remain calm for the sake of the group, and most of the time it did work. Looking back, he noticed his team was always put first; Jay was always put first. And the ginger haired boy had slowly learned to be more himself. Even Cole could see how much more confidence Jay had. It was nice to see someone grow comfortable in their own skin.
xxx
Jay was left wondering why he was constantly standing in about three feet of snow, a harsh breeze cutting through his blue tinted jacket. The team had been repeatedly told how Master Wu was unfortunately gone, so why were him and Cole looking desperately over and over again for someone who could not be found?
Sometimes he thought Cole was crazy for going this far. Then again, he realized how much his teammate cared and it made him feel special that he'd want Jay to come with, out of all people. Obviously, this journey was not going to be an easy one.
Either way, it's not like Jay had much to do: hang out with his parents at the junkyard. Yes, he loved his parents, but chatting away with Cole beat that any day. Because it was Cole. And the pair just simply clicked, hence why they have been best friends.
However, running wild through nature, feeling the inpatient winds and rocky cliffs? That does not exactly mix with Jay. He never liked following a path. Just give him a blunt goal and let him figure out the way by trial and error. That's how a tinker thinks. But that mindspace would have gotten him killed in a second.
Cole said he needed to be more careful.
Jay only snickered and said he should loosen up.
That day, to put it simply, was fun. It did not even seem very cold. In fact, if Jay remembered corrected, he was actually quite warm. Often he felt his own cheeks flush warm. However there was in fact a breeze, for him and the earth ninja laughed about how a piece of equipment almost blew right off the side of the mountain.
But maybe it was the fun crackling in his constant smile, the humor in the air, and Cole's sweet laughter following shortly after every joke that kept Jay warm. Maybe he was far too distracted by the beauty of the moment to be brought down by the single digit number on the red thermometer.
But those days seemed to be far and few in between.
And so some days he was left thinking. Jay thought of a lot of things, mostly about Cole. First, how the earth ninja never complained about anything during the trip; Jay was always the one groaning about something. And usually, it was also Jay who started talking first. Otherwise the silence swept away the pair on the lonely mountain side.
Jay was constantly trying to think up new, strange questions to ask the other boy to break the silence, but usually came up short. It was not that the noiseless moments were awkward; if anything, they were comfortable. The two were that close. And close enough to have answers to many, many possible questions.
Favorite food. Best time of the day. Most visited diner. Anything.
Well . . . There was one question Jay was unsure about. But he would never ask it. Ever.
When Jay was not worried about questions or complaints, he was struggling to stay awake or balanced on the cliff. Blue could see how well and talented Cole was at this, because while he yelled in fear—Cole stayed steady to help them both through it.
There were calming nights, however, that usually put things into perspective. Jay missed the team. He really did. He missed how they would all laugh and eat Zane's amazing cooking. God, on top of that, he missed Zane's food. Jay was tired of eating packed food, or canned meals. He wanted to sit at a table and sip a smoothie with his friends . . . His family. Call him old-fashion, but he missed the simple things.
Each night was freezing. Of course it was cold; they were high up in the air, snow pounding on the small salvaged shack Cole found.
"Do you actually think we'll find him?"
xxx
Believe it or not, Cole did not think Jay would speak that night. The previous day was awful; mountain goats following their trail and the wind was surely much more harsh. Snow poured down extra. The pair misled a turn and almost ended up falling into a trench Cole had no intention of knowing how deep.
So when Jay's voice came out, a tiny mumble against the wooden walls protecting them from the storm outside, Cole practically jumped up from the floor where he laid for the night.
"What?"
His head peeked up over the side of the bed, to spot Jay sitting in the center. He was curled into a ball, blanket poorly draped over the blue ninja's small shoulders. Cole was cold just by looking at him.
"Do you think we will . . ." Jay began once more, voice a little louder, ". . . Yknow, actually find him?"
"I hope so."
Because I dunno what I'll do if we don't, were Cole's unspoken words, the thoughts that lingered in his head and stayed there. Master Wu was like a father to him. Losing again was not an option.
Cole stood up and sat on the edge of the bed, picking up the sheet around Jay's shoulders and trying to adjust it better for warmth. He did it without even thinking, hands dropping from the lightning's shoulders awkwardly as he realized what he was doing. Jay only watched, eyes downcasted.
"What if we don't?" asked the younger, hands grabbing the blanket's edge and pulling it close; Cole took that as a good sign that he wasn't pushed away. "What if we're just spending our life out here for no reason?"
Cole could not say there was no reason at all. He thought they were growing as a people, as ninja. He knew they were growing a stronger bond together as friends than ever. "We're not."
"But what if w—."
"Jay, 'what if's are overrated," Cole cut him off.
His head tilted to the side to scan the other's freckled face for a reaction. The earth ninja did not know how to comfort someone all that well, did not know how to make situations better. That's particularly why he kept to himself; so he would not have to struggle and try to build everything back up again.
"And true," mumbled lightning. "Sometimes."
Cole paused. He watched, looking at Jay's bright beautiful glossy eyes. "You okay?" he asked instead, a poor excuse to change the topic slightly.
The clear answer of 'no' looked hesitant on Jay's tongue. Cole wanted to know; he wanted to know everything bubbling in his bubbly friend's head. He had to know what Jay thought.
"I guess," answered the younger after a beat of silence. "I just—I miss them all, yknow?"
"I know."
Jay huffed. "And I miss heat. Man, what I'd do for Kai to just . . . You get my point."
"Yeah, I get it," Cole answered, followed by a sniffle of a laugh.
Jay looked at him, features soft, with his head to the side. "What's so funny?"
"Kai," the black clad mumbled. "Trying to imagine him in his weather."
xxx
Kai in snow for multiple days straight made Jay laugh. The lightning ninja knew somehow Cole could make him feel better in seconds without even realizing it. And that was one of the things he loved about his teammate. He was always there, no matter what, even when he knew things himself were looking bad. He never stopped trying to help others.
"I miss home, too," Jay continued, pulling his legs closer to him. "It's being out in the mountains, all cold and alone, that kinda sucks."
The blue clad rested his chin on his knee, hoping the slight change in position would keep him warmer. Even in the small shack, he was freezing, blankets piled all over the place.
"You're not alone," was Cole's response.
There seemed to be hesitation in the other's voice, as if he was unsure it was the right thing to say. Nevertheless, the three words put a small smile on Jay's lips. The look of reassurance spread across his face.
"I know it's not much, but you got me."
Jay was practically rendered speechless, staring at his older teammate for what he did not realize was a little too long. But it was quite the sight; noticing all the curves and dips of Cole's face, seeing pale lips curl into a smile to match one of his own.
Jay knew Cole was strong. Everyone did. He assumed being master of earth naturally made him bigger and stronger, to be as solid as a rock inside and out. And sometimes, yeah, it did make Jay seem even more smaller in comparison, but it was Cole. So he did not even mind.
"I know," he mumbled, a playful grin on his lips. There was a laugh, a very quiet laugh, but there nonetheless. Jay thought he was funny. "You couldn't get rid of me even if you tried."
The black clad snorted a laugh, shifting on the bed to lean his back on the creaky bed frame. Jay watched him get comfortable, patting the empty space next to him in a gesture for the ginger to join. But lightning hesitated, knowing the spot would probably be much colder if he moved.
"I'll keep you warm."
Just like that, Jay knew his face flushed red. There it was again: Cole and his seemingly so simple way to easily cheer Jay up; or in this case, make him embarrassed.
For a moment, Jay did not know why he was embarrassed, so suddenly shy. It was only his teammate. Sure, they have been in close situations before, so why did it now feel different? And more importantly, why did Jay want to immediately accept the other's offer: to crawl over, curl up into earth's side, and keep warm?
But he did not.
Not immediately.
Instead he gave a look; almost like he was questioning Cole's words.
"I know you're cold, Jay, I can practically see you shaking," continued the other in the moment of silence.
He was right, as per usual.
xxx
Cole did not realize what he had asked before it was too late. Mentally cringing, he tried his best to hide the doubt. Yet, a horrific feeling bubbled within his bones, worried that he could cause a dent in the pairs' relationship—again.
But before he could dwell on it for too long, Jay silently accepted the offer; scooting closer into the crook of Cole's arm. Earth watched the younger boy untangle the blanket, and attempt to toss it over the both of them. Shuffling to match the movements, Cole turned slightly to face Jay, so he could keep him close, with an arm wrapped around. Part of him was peeking out of the blanket; he was cold. But Jay visibly looked like he was getting warmer, so that was all that mattered.
Swallowing, Cole's eyes glanced down, scanning over the delicate features of his teammate. Perhaps Jay could feel the extra pair of eyes on him, because he cleared his throat.
Cole tried his best to play it cool.
"Don't tell anyone else about this," Jay murmured, body curling up like a ball—but this time against Cole. "That is, if we make it out of here alive to see them."
The black clad had laughed, a hum coming from his guts. As it has been said: it was a gut feeling. He told himself that this was right; it was normal, and most of all, it felt good. Not only because of the extra bubble of body heat, but because it was Jay. And Cole did not mind if it was Jay.
"I won't," answered the older boy, just to play along. Was it even normal to feel like this? Not that he knew what 'this' was, but he hoped it would not go away.
But more importantly, did Jay even feel this same blissful way?
"I promise we'll make it back, Bluebell."