Author's note: So I was pretty inspired by the latest episode, really like what they've done with Hailey's arc. Fairly sure we won't get any goodbye scenes onscreen or any reunions given where they got to in filming, so thought I'd attempt to fill in the blanks. I've got some ideas for a couple more chapters if people are interested in exploring this more.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing the characters for my own entertainment.
Only for a few weeks
Hailey sat in her car, her eyes set straight ahead, but she wasn't focused on anything. Her mind was still replaying snippets from her conversation with Voight, processing everything that had happened and was going to happen. Lines. FBI. New York. Not becoming him.
What was she supposed to have done? Just let Gael get away with everything? The Voight she'd met when she joined the unit wouldn't have let this happen, he would have done what she had done. But now, maybe he was slowing down, maybe it was because of Al, or maybe he was getting better at hiding it. Regardless, she had done what needed to be done. And he was wrong, she wasn't going to become him. She had learnt from him sure, but she would be better than him.
Part of her had wanted to scream that back at him when he'd cleared his desk, but she'd stopped herself. Despite what he thought of her, she knew that some lines weren't worth crossing. But that meant her options were limited.
She couldn't get out of this trip, not without Voight getting rid of her. She knew he cared about her, but she also knew he'd kick her out in a heartbeat if he thought she was a liability. So she would do it, and she would do it damn well. If she got a glowing report, Voight would have to back off. And going forwards she would be more careful. She wouldn't end up like Voight, she wouldn't ever be arrested, she wouldn't lose someone because of something she had done. No, she would be in control of it all. Voight had a temper, it was one of his weaknesses, whereas she had learnt to control hers a long time ago. She never thought she'd be grateful to her father, but it turned out he had given her one useful skill in life.
Maybe Voight would come to see that too. If she could get him to see the value, they could make things so much better, but only time would tell on that front. For now, all she could do was go home and pack, and get ready to be the best version of herself for the FBI.
With her plan in place, she finally started the car, thankful no one had been around to see her, and drove home. Her thoughts about the FBI had shifted quickly on the drive. She knew what she was going to do there, but that meant she had to tell people she was going. It would be easier for some. A text tomorrow morning would suffice for Kim, Kev, and Adam. She would tell Vanessa tonight, though she wasn't quite sure how yet. Her roommate had been through so much over the past few days, so it wasn't going to be easy. Vanessa would put up a front, pretend everything was fine, but she wasn't. Not yet anyway. Hailey could be there for her tonight though, show her that she did have people.
And then there was Jay. With everyone else she knew exactly what to do. With Jay, the one she knew the best out of all of them, she had no idea. She had been so focused on Voight and the situation that it was only now dawning on her that she wouldn't get to see Jay for the foreseeable future. He wouldn't bring her coffee in the morning, he wouldn't smile at her or make a stupid joke, he wouldn't pull her aside to confide in her about a case, and they wouldn't do their thing.
Hailey let out a deep breath and ran a hand over her face once she'd parked the car. She had to tell him, and it had to be in person. He'd told her once, after a particularly bad case and a couple of drinks, how Erin had left without even a goodbye, and she couldn't do that to him even if it was only for a few weeks. She had seen the aftermath first-hand and while their relationship was very different to his and Erin's, she was sure there was something there. She caught the way he watched her sometimes, she could recall all the things he did for her, and she remembered the hopeful look in his eyes when she tried to tell him how she felt at the hospital, before the phone interrupted and she realised it wasn't the right time. Just like this wasn't the right time either. Everything would be easier for now if they just carried on as is.
It hurt slightly, leaving could have been a good excuse to tell him the truth, but it was better she dealt with the feelings of loss rather than him. And hopefully the FBI gig would keep her so busy that she wouldn't have time to think about anything else. With her thoughts reasonably in check, and after realising that again she had been sat in the car for far too long, she got out and headed inside. It was time for part one of her leaving plan.
"Hailey!" Vanessa was in front of her before she had managed to close the front door. "Hey, did you hear? They got Gael; they found drugs in a trap in his car. They really got him, so Luis is gonna get the deal."
"That's great news," she told her, offering her a smile before closing the door and pulling off her coat. "I'm glad it worked out."
She gave Vanessa's shoulder a squeeze as she walked past her and into the kitchen. She should eat something first, let Vanessa keep her current mood for a little longer.
"You want something?" Vanessa asked, quickly moving around Hailey and to the other side of the kitchen counter. "I made a couple of things. Is there such a thing as stress cooking because I think that's what I was doing?"
"Hey," Hailey said, gaining Vanessa's attention. "It's going to be okay. He's got the deal."
"Yeah, just he was the one person who-" But she stopped as Hailey saw the tears forming in her eyes.
She'd heard what Reyes had said earlier, could imagine what was going through Vanessa's head, so she moved over to her and pulled her into her arms. "I know it's hard, but you're not the same person you were back then. What you and he went through, that's in the past. It sucks but the best thing you can do is move on from it."
"It's just…he was the closest thing I had to family…being alone…"
"Vanessa," she said as she pulled back and looked her in the eye. "You're not alone, you have us. The whole unit, that's your family now. They'll stick their nose in when you don't want them to, they'll annoy you sometimes, but every single one would bend over backwards to help you."
It took a moment, Vanessa wiped her eyes a few times, but then she nodded.
"Wanna surprise me with one of these meals you made?" Hailey asked, at the very least she could give Vanessa some normality before she broke the news.
"Yeah. Thanks, Hailey."
Vanessa didn't say anything more until she was dishing up their food. Hailey assumed she needed time to process everything, so let her have it as she took a seat and pulled out her phone. She composed the messages for Adam, Kev, and Kim, but made sure not to send them. The last thing she needed was one of them telling Vanessa or Jay before she could. At least with Vanessa she knew roughly what she was going to say but with Jay she still had no idea. She knew she should text him, make sure he was free so she could talk to him, or she could just show up unannounced like they tended to do to each other. She was so busy debating it that by the time Vanessa placed a plate of food in front of her, all she had managed to do was open a message to Jay and write the word 'hey'.
"Jay huh?" Vanessa said, seeming more upbeat than before. "Was wondering why you looked so focused."
Hailey shook her head and set her phone down on the table. "I just need to know something about an old case."
"So that's why you've been staring at it for five minutes straight. Can't work out how to ask him about this old case?"
Hailey ignored her as she dug into the food. "This is great."
"You're deflecting."
"There's just nothing to talk about."
Vanessa laughed. "Oh there is so much to talk about. Not sure what it will take though as apparently him being shot wasn't enough."
"Vanessa." Her tone along with the look she gave her roommate would be enough to get the message across.
"Okay, keep doing it your way."
Hailey got the conversation back on to food at that point, and other inane topics. It was nice to laugh and forget about everything for half an hour, though once they finished Hailey knew she had to get back to reality. She thanked Vanessa again for the food but had to decline her offer to watch a movie, saying she had some things to sort out. She was sure she heard Vanessa mutter something about Jay and the old case, but she ignored it as she headed to her room and started packing. She didn't know how long she would need with Vanessa and Jay so getting this out of the way was the easiest thing for now.
She was most the way through, having selected all of her clothes and packed them in the suitcase, before she heard Vanessa's voice.
"I know you're busy, but there's dessert," Vanessa said as she walked into Hailey's room, the smile dropping from her face as soon as she saw the suitcase. "You going somewhere?"
Hailey nodded and took a seat on the bed, forcing herself to look happy. This needed to be positive news. "There's a taskforce in New York. The FBI need an officer on loan and Voight chose me."
She didn't know what she expected from Vanessa, but as soon as she saw the smile back on Vanessa's face, she knew she'd done the right thing.
"Hailey, that's amazing news. Being picked for the FBI. When are you going? What's the taskforce? How long is it for? Oh also-"
Hailey couldn't help but laugh as she held a hand up to halt her friend. "One at a time maybe. But in answer to your questions. I'm flying tomorrow morning. Not clear on the details yet, they'll fill me in tomorrow, and it's supposed to be a few weeks."
"Okay. I'll take care of everything here, you don't need to worry about a thing."
"I know."
"And I'll need details when you're back, you gotta tell me how the FBI rolls."
"You wanna join the FBI?"
"I dunno, maybe. Always good to have options, right? I mean an FBI taskforce has got to be good. Bet everyone else is gonna be jealous, I know I am."
"Yeah," she said, her happy facade faltering slightly. There was one person who probably wouldn't be as enthusiastic. She knew she wouldn't be if the roles were reversed.
"I take it you haven't told him yet," Vanessa said, causing Hailey to shake her head. There was no point pretending not to know who he was. "It's only a few weeks though."
"Yeah," she said, forcing the thoughts away. "It'll be good."
"Yeah, it sounds like a great opportunity." More like a great punishment, but only she and Voight would know that. For everyone else, it was just as Vanessa stated. "Well, I'll let you get on with this, but when you want dessert, just let me know and I'll get it ready."
Hailey thanked her friend, making sure to keep up the positive attitude until she was certain she was gone. Once there was no way Vanessa could see her, she closed her eyes and fell back onto the bed. Part of her wanted to scream, part of her wanted to cry, and part of her wanted to say to hell with it all. She gave each part it's time internally as she placed her hands over her face and tried to take some deep breaths. Once she was done, she forced herself to get up and finish. She didn't have long left and there was still something she had to do.
Without letting herself overthink it, she sent Jay a message, asking if he was still up and if she could come over. He replied almost instantly to say yes and ask if everything was okay. She lied, saying she was fine, and that she would be over in thirty minutes.
Given the time limit she had set herself to ensure she didn't chicken out, she quickly finished off packing her suitcase and wheeled it to the door, ready for tomorrow morning.
"Does that mean you're ready for dessert?" Vanessa asked, popping her head out from the kitchen.
"Uh, no sorry, I've got to take care of something else."
Vanessa nodded before walking over and pulling her into a hug. "Have a good trip."
"You know I'll see you in the morning," she said as she hugged her friend back.
Vanessa shrugged. "Just in case you don't."
Hailey wasn't sure what else to say, so waved her friend off as she headed out to the car. The traffic between hers and Jay's was non-existent so she ended up at his a little earlier than intended, but she knew he wouldn't mind. She considered using the extra few minutes to work out what to say, but in the end she knew she was better just doing it. This was one of the times when planning was unlikely to help.
Jay answered on her third knock, she had a feeling he had been waiting. Likely her text had worried him because for some reason turning up unannounced was more normal behaviour for them.
"You okay?" he asked, clearly looking her over for a sign of what was going on.
"I'm fine, Jay," she told him as she walked in, took her coat off, and hung it up.
"Why do I think that's not true?" he asked as she headed over to his couch, not wanting to face him yet.
She heard him moving around behind her, then the fridge, the bottles being opened, and finally footsteps coming towards her.
"Here."
She took the beer with a thanks; she would allow herself one, it had been a hell of a day, but that was it. She still had to drive later.
"So what's going on?" he asked. "Something with Gael?"
Jay didn't know. Of course he didn't, he'd headed home like the rest of the unit once they thought they were done. She had been the one to stick around and finish it.
"They caught Gael with two bricks in his car. He's going down and Reyes is getting the deal," she told him, keeping her eyes on the bottle in her hands.
Jay was silent for a few moments but then he spoke. "That seems like good news."
"It is." Gael deserved everything he got.
"So what's the bad news?"
"I'm going to New York. Tomorrow," she said as she finally turned to look at him, seeing the confusion on his face. "There's an FBI taskforce and they needed an officer."
"How long?"
"Few weeks."
Jay didn't speak, instead he took a long sip of his beer.
"It's a good opportunity," he told her finally.
She nodded, Rojas had been a lot more convincing, but then Rojas believed it was some sort of reward. Jay, on the other hand, probably had a better idea of what was really going on. She could have spared him it, pretended that she was excited for it, that she wanted to do it, but that's not what she needed.
"I didn't choose it. Voight sprung it on me a couple of hours ago."
"He tell you why?"
A few lies came to mind, or things vague enough to avoid a conversation she didn't think she was ready to have, but then another thought popped up. Voight had said she didn't know how to be herself, that she was turning into him, but she knew Voight wouldn't do this.
"He's worried I'm turning into him, thinks this will help."
Jay took a few moments to process her words. She took a sip of her beer and leant back against the couch as she waited. He would confirm what she knew, she was sure of it.
"You're not him." She smiled; it was exactly as she suspected. "But what happened with Darius, with Gael. Those are Voight moves, no doubt about it."
"Jay-"
"I'm not stupid, Hailey. I can put two and two together," he told her as she bit her tongue. "Look, I'm not going to ask for details for both our sakes, but I'm here for you. If you want to talk about it, I will listen. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, you call me, and I will be there. You've been there for me enough, you've called me out, tried to stop me doing stupid things. This is me doing the same for you."
Hailey closed her eyes for a moment, going over his words. She wouldn't go into details, it was better for him not to know specifics, besides he clearly already had a good idea of the situation. Him backing up Voight though, that was a concern. She was still so sure she had done the right thing, but when she asked herself if Jay would have done the same thing, she knew the answer was no. He would have worked the case in his own time, followed more leads, probably put himself in danger, but he would have gotten them properly.
"Hailey?" She reopened her eyes as she felt his hand on her forearm. He was closer now, the worry etched on his face. "You know this doesn't change anything right? I still trust you more than anyone else, I would still follow you anywhere."
"Even New York?" she asked, gaining a smile in return.
"Even New York," he said as he moved his hand down her arm and took hold of her hand. "You can't get rid of me easily. Would be awkward if we showed up the FBI though, maybe that's why they only want one officer."
"Yeah," she muttered, wrapping her fingers around his.
Normally she wouldn't let them get this close, it made it harder to ignore the feelings she had locked away, but she was willing to make an exception just this once. She still owed him more of an explanation after all.
It took a while, but Hailey finally managed to talk about what had happened since Cameron's death. She had kept her guard up more previously when her and Jay had talked about it. This time though, she allowed herself to be more honest, more vulnerable. She avoided specific details though, like Jay had said, he wasn't stupid, and she wanted to ensure he still had deniability if anything were ever to happen. Jay had listened, had talked it out with her. He'd even opened up more about some of his recent struggles, like his near-death experience and the case with Michelle and Shane.
They had talked late into the night until Hailey had caught sight of the clock at one in the morning. Given her flight was at eight, she knew she had to head back and get some sleep. Before she had gone though, Jay had told her that he would give her a lift to the airport. She had considered declining his offer, but in the end she had thanked him. It had been a draining evening for both of them, but also cathartic. She wasn't sure when they would get to do it next, but having a bit more time with Jay tomorrow, without such a heavy conversation, was something she was already looking forward to.
Just as Jay had promised, he arrived at 6am to pick her up. She said another quick goodbye to Vanessa who was getting ready for work, before wheeling her suitcase over to the truck. Once it was loaded in the back and she was seated inside, Jay handed her a coffee.
"Thanks," she said, it was just what she needed given how little sleep she had gotten. "For this, for driving me."
"What are partners for?" he said as he pulled out onto the road. "Oh and just so you know, if I get stuck in a van with Adam while you're gone, I'm one hundred percent blaming you no matter how great this taskforce is."
Hailey laughed while doing her best to push back the feelings threatening to surface. She couldn't deal with them now. She just needed this to be normal.
"At least you know what Adam is like. I could get stuck with anyone."
"True. Though you might actually like your new partner. Just imagine if they're as amazing as me?"
That would be hard, but instead of speaking she just shook her head slightly.
"You're right, no one is as amazing as me."
"Okay, just make sure Voight doesn't give my seat away," she told him.
"I'll guard it with my life. And I expect you back in it soon, even if I have to come get you myself."
Hailey kept her eyes on him, a smile playing on her lips. When he pulled up at the lights, he turned to face her.
"What?"
"It's sweet."
"What?"
"You're gonna miss me," she teased, causing a smile to appear on his face.
"You're gonna miss me too."
Of course she was, more than she could tell him, but they couldn't do this now. Thankfully Hailey's phone went before it turned into an awkward silence. She gave him an apologetic look as she answered the phone, it was Voight. He wanted to give her some extra details he had received from the FBI; the name of the person coming to meet her at the airport and some background reading to do on the plane. By the time she had finished the call, and after a reminder from Voight to play by the FBI's rules, Hailey realised they were at the airport.
"Voight had some more info," she said as she unclipped her seatbelt and shoved the phone into her pocket.
"Yeah," Jay said, holding her gaze for a few moments. "Let me get your bag."
Maybe she was reading it wrong, but she was sure he had wanted to say something else. Still, she had done that enough times so just gave a nod instead of saying anything else. It was enough to get them both out of the truck and walking round to the back. Jay pulled her suitcase out and set it down on the ground next to her before pulling out the handle and handing it over to her. She took it with a thanks, her hand brushing against his slightly. Part of her wanted to grab his hand or to say something meaningful, but she couldn't do it.
"I should get going," she told him. "I'll see you soon."
"Yeah."
She allowed a few seconds, keeping her eyes on his, before turning around and walking to the entrance. Neither of them had ever been good with this stuff, at least not with each other. So as much as she wanted to give him a hug or something more than 'I'll see you soon', she carried on.
"Hey," Jay called out. Hailey paused almost instantly, taking a deep breath before turning back to see him walking over to her.
"What-"
But she didn't have a chance to finish as Jay pulled her into a hug. Instinctively she let go of her suitcase and wrapped her arms around him.
"You show them how it's done there," he said, still firmly holding onto her. "Show them they haven't got anything on Intelligence."
She nodded against his chest, taking in everything about the moment; the way he felt, strong and gentle at the same time. The way he smelt, like soap and coffee. The way he spoke, his voice lower than normal, but still reassuring.
"But don't be too good, can't have them wanting to poach you. I'm thinking go about eighty percent of your normal capacity."
She smiled then, a genuine smile, because while she couldn't say it out loud, it was things like this that made her realise how much she loved him.
"And be safe," he told her as he finally loosened his grip on her, causing Hailey to do the same. It was just bad timing. She couldn't tell him now.
"Look who's talking?" she said as she took a step back, seeing the grin on Jay's face.
"I promise to be careful."
"And you'll call me if you need to do our thing?"
"Only if you promise to do the same," he said, causing Hailey to nod as she grabbed hold of her suitcase before turning back to the entrance.
It was only a few weeks.