"I could do that with one hand tied behind my back," Uma commented, pointing at the television screen showing a hardly clothed man starting a fire from her position on the opposite side of the couch to Mal and Evie snuggled together.
Currently, Uma, Mal, Evie, Audrey, and Jane were all crowded around Mal's television watching the latest episode of Bare and Scared. Audrey was in the middle of painting her nails, and Jane was watching in horror whenever someone's naked rear end happened to show on-screen. Mal and Evie were cuddled closely on one end of the sofa, and Evie was playing with Mal's hair gently as they watched the television.
Everyone was peaceful. That is, except for Uma who had been constantly poking fun at the people participating in the games, constantly claiming that she could do better than them.
"You might be from the Isle, but that doesn't automatically make you a survival wizard," Audrey remarked somewhat snidely as she looked over at Uma. No one could blame her for her unimpressed responses to Uma. After all, the girl had been seriously interrupting their ability to watch the show.
"How do you know? You didn't live through what I did," Uma told her with a scoff, sending a dismissive gesture in the direction of the pink princess as she dedicated the majority of her attentions to the television.
"Well, I don't think Evie could do all of those things," Audrey proclaimed, and Evie looked in Audrey's direction, pausing in her stroking of Mal's head as she watched the exchange between the other two girls. Mal looked up at her unappreciatively, and Evie just offered her sister a soft smile before continuing in her ministrations. However, she kept her eyes on Uma and Audrey since she was honestly curious about what Uma would respond with.
"That's because Evie was mooching off of Mal and her protection," Uma told Audrey with a smirk, managing to successfully combat Audrey and insult Evie all in one sentence. Evie's eyes narrowed in slight disapproval, but ultimately she decided to ignore Uma.
"Mal, was it that bad over there?" Audrey asked, and Mal shifted her gaze over to Audrey lazily as Evie scratched her fingernails against Mal's scalp gently.
"It certainly wasn't great over there," Mal commented, and Uma shot Audrey a victorious glance. Audrey just looked between the both of them skeptically for a moment before rolling her eyes.
"Personally, I think camping like that is for barbarians," Audrey voiced her opinions, choosing to take a different route now that Uma and Mal had completely nixed her attempts at proving the pirate wrong.
"Personally, I think camping like that is for the truly tough," Uma mimicked, and Audrey raised a perfectly manicured brow in the midst of her unimpressed emotions.
"Oh, please, you couldn't do it," Audrey told Uma with a scoff, painting her pinkie fingernail on her right hand.
"Speak for yourself," Uma replied, stretching her arms as she relaxed against the couch.
"I think I'd like to camp," Jane spoke timidly, throwing in her opinion.
"Why would you ever want to go camping? Don't you know there's bears in the woods?" Audrey asked, and Jane looked somewhat fearful for a moment before gaining more confidence.
"Well, Mal can turn into a dragon. I'd like to camp if Mal was going to be there," Jane piped up, and Mal raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.
"Yeah, but she can't protect you from bugs," Audrey pointed out.
"That's what bug spray's for," Evie added unhelpfully, lifting a finger as she offered her input. Audrey shot her a glare, and turned back to Jane, trying to convince the fairy to give up the idea of camping.
"Jane, you have to sleep on the ground," Audrey explained, and Uma rolled her eyes.
"Well, you'd have a tent, princess. It ain't like your royal butt's going to be touching the dirt," Uma told Audrey, and Audrey narrowed her eyes.
"It's close enough. And do you really think that bugs can't crawl through the canvas?" Audrey asked, and Uma just scoffed.
"That is gross, but I think it's largely an inaccurate assumption," Evie spoke, petting Mal's hair affectionately as she engaged in the conversation. "However, no electricity is worrisome because that means no showers or baths."
"Especially the no shower part is concerning. Have you smelled Uma after a few days without a bath?" Mal questioned, shooting Uma a mischievous glance, and the pirate offered her a smile full of fake sugary sweetness.
"Like you and Blue over there don't get a good stink rolling by day three sans shower," Uma retorted, and Evie actually appeared genuinely offended by the insinuation as she subtly sniffed her shirt. Mal raised an eyebrow at the bluenette, knowing that Evie took a shower every day.
Audrey cleared her throat, pulling the discussion's focus back onto her instead of the rather disgusting tack that they had all wavered over to.
"Look, what I'm saying is that we can't make it outdoors," Audrey stated, and she carefully painted her thumbnail of her right hand.
"Yes, I could," Uma stubbornly argued, and Audrey huffed in response, looking Uma over as she skeptically considered the pirate's statement. Uma pursed her lips before raising up in her seat and glancing at the lot of them.
"Heck, you know what? I'm going to go camping," Uma told the girls, and Audrey actually burst into laughter in response to her bold proclamation. Uma narrowed her eyes at the other girl unappreciatively, and Audrey just kept up her mirth at Uma's expense.
"I'm serious!"
"Oh, I'm sure you are. Right until you're mauled by wild animals," Audrey giggled, shaking her head at the pirate as she picked up where she had left off on her Uma set her jaw and glared at the princess.
"I'll be just fine. And I'll bet some of these other girls around here'd like to prove their toughness, too," Uma boldly proclaimed, looking at Evie, Mal, and Jane expectantly. Evie just offered Uma a sweet, somewhat guilty grin.
"I don't think I really want to go out in the woods, Uma. I think I had my fill of roughing it for a little while," Evie expressed, remembering the insane misadventures that they had when they visited a farm not too long ago.
"Oh, come on. You enjoyed playing in the pig pen and hanging out with your goose boyfriend, didn't you?" Uma questioned teasingly, her eyes gleaming with that characteristic wickedness. Evie just shook her head and looked at Uma with a calm expression.
"I enjoyed that as much as you enjoyed being chased by a runaway donkey," Evie pointed out, and Uma quickly decided to let Evie off the hook and avoid picking on her. Uma looked to Jane hopefully, and the girl just shrugged. Uma then turned her attentions to Mal.
"C'mon, Mal. Let's go out and show this princess that we're the queens," Uma looked at the faerie pleadingly, and Mal eyed her for a moment. Mal considered this idea quietly and she then sat up and hesitantly pulled away from Evie's warm embrace in order to better speak to Uma.
"Sure. That sounds fun," Mal agreed easily, and Uma grinned victoriously at the pink princess. Evie narrowed her eyes, looking between Uma and Mal with something that greatly resembled jealousy.
"Well, I'm coming, too! M's not going with you by herself," Evie proclaimed somewhat childishly, and Mal just reached back to fondly hug Evie, reassuring the girl that Mal would never think of replacing her only sister.
"You make it out like I'm trying to take her from you or something," Uma commented, and Evie just glared at the pirate silently.
"Trust me, you can have her. I sure don't want her," Uma told Evie with a laugh. Mal just rolled her eyes at the both of them, knowing that Evie had been having issues trusting Uma to not replace her since Evie and Uma had pulled that prank on April Fool's and Uma had gotten so snuggly with Mal in an attempt to bewilder the faerie.
Evie just eyed Uma with a slight glare but was soon interrupted by Jane speaking up.
"I think I'd like to go since Mal's going. I know I'll be safe with her there," Jane confidently expressed, and Uma clasped her hands with an audible clap.
"Alright. So, it's settled," Uma grinned widely, and Audrey just stared in irritation at the lot of them before groaning loudly.
"Ugh! I cannot believe that I'm seriously doing this!" Audrey growled before blowing on her nails and sitting down the polish container, screwing the top back on it carefully.
"I guess I'll go with you guys. Jay's going to tease me relentlessly if he finds out that you guys are going camping and I refused to go on account of my 'girliness,'" Audrey air-quoted the word, obviously referencing Jay's own phrasing surrounding his girlfriend.
Uma smiled at the lot of them in a positively wicked manner.
"Alright… Where are we going?" Uma questioned, looking at the group, and Evie shrugged, having no idea where they could camp as she rested her head against Mal's affectionately. Jane furrowed her brow before her face lit up.
"We could camp by the Enchanted Lake!" Jane offered, and Uma scoffed.
"That's way too close to home, and it's nothing like serious camping which is far from civilization," Uma told the daughter of the Fairy Godmother. Jane pursed her lips, trying to think of another location. Mal raised an eyebrow, honestly believing that Jane's suggestion wasn't such a bad idea but also understanding Uma's point of view surrounding the subject as well.
"Well, there's this super remote area in Auroria, and it should be a good place to camp," Audrey told Uma carefully after considering their options for a long moment.
"Alright, then. It's settled. We'll head out as soon as we get packed, let the boys know, and get a good night's rest," Uma spoke, standing up and heading out of the room as she presumably left to pack up her clothes.
"We're going to need tents and food supplies," Evie spoke, and Audrey rolled her eyes at the bluenette as she started to arise from her seated position.
"I'm sure Mal can send one of the servants on an errand to go get some," Audrey told Evie, and Mal nodded easily. Audrey nodded resolutely, starting toward the door but pausing just before she reached it.
"Jane, I'm going to need you to come with me. I can't open doors. It'll mess up my fingernails, Audrey spoke, and Jane nodded, following the princess and letting her out of the room. She soon shut the door behind her, leaving Mal and Evie in the room by themselves.
As soon as they left, Mal dove for the remote, turning off the television quickly. Evie furrowed her brow, eyeing Mal strangely as she tried to figure out Mal's reasons for shutting off the show.
Mal looked at Evie for a moment before shaking her head.
"I needed to turn that crap off before anyone else came up with any more bright ideas," Mal expressed and Evie just chuckled in response, wrapping an arm around the purple-haired girl and pressing her cheek against Mal's forehead.
Somehow beyond anyone's understanding, they were about to be off on another of their infamous trips that had become simultaneously so frustrating and so quintessential to their relationship as a group.
Undoubtedly, they were in for a serious adventure.
A/N: Well, there they go again on another adventure of insanity. I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter! I've got a lot of fun stuff planned, and I hope that you guys hang around for the ride. :) Please let me know what you thought of this! Hopefully I can update again soon.