77 hours. That's how long Tony had been in his lab. And James knew that, because he had counted every single one of them.
77 hours. That's how long Steve had been gone. And it was James' fault.
77 hours. That's how long he had cried. Each and every one.
It all started in their bed. (No, it is not that kind of story). Tony woke up first, his back warm from Steve, but his front cold. Careful not to wake Stevie up, he sat up a bit and looked around, but couldn't see Bucky. He stood up, wincing at the cold floor, and checked the bathroom. No Bucky. Tony started to get worried. Unless one of them was on a mission, they never woke up without each other. It was an unspoken rule, knowing the other two felt safer if they were all there.
Tony woke Stevie up and told him what's up. Steve immediately started checking Bucky's hiding places. The vent in the bathroom, the wall nook in the hall, the storage cupboard by the dining table. At this point, the both of them started to panic. Tony yelled for J.A.R.V.I.S., and Steve was about to call the team, when they both heard giggling from the bedroom. They raced there, and found Bucky on the floor, laughing his butt off.
"Oh my gosh, the look on your faces, priceless!" Bucky was rolling around, heaving with laughter.
"What the hell do you think you're playing at James!" Bucky stopped laughing. Tony never called him James.
"Do you not realize you scared us half to death?! We thought you were having an episode, or kidnapped, or dead! How the hell was that funny James?! I cannot deal with right now, I'm going to the lab. Come get me when you decide to act like an adult!" With that, Tony stormed out towards the door. Bucky tried to say something, but Steve stopped him.
"Just, don't Barnes, not right now." Bucky watched with tears in his eyes as Steve left too.
They both left. And it was his fault.
A few days later, after Tony had completely redesigned J.A.R.V.I.S.' security system, he decided to go back up to their floor. He wasn't mad anymore, that ship sailed a long time ago. It was even funny, a bit, just not for them. Not with everything they had gone through together.
He walked out of the elevator and went straight to the coffee machine. There was coffee in his lab, and it was good, just not quite as good as the coffee in his kitchen. Their kitchen. He sat and drank his coffee, waiting for Bucky to walk out of the bedroom. It was 1 in the afternoon for crap's sake. He hadn't stayed in there for 3 days, right?
Nevermind, this was Bucky. If Stevie and Tony hadn't reminded him to use the freaking bathroom then he wouldn't.
Tony walked to the bedroom and opened the door. He smiled when he saw Bucky in his usual place in the bed, but frowned when he saw how still Bucky was laying. Bucky never could stay still, not normally. Tony walked to the other side of the bed and sat.
"Hey Tony." Bucky said, no emotion in his words.
"Hey Buck, how're you feeling?" Tony was getting concerned. Bucky wasn't even looking at him, just staring at the wall.
'Doesn't really matter. I'm sorry I hurt you 'n Steve. Nat said I can stay at her's 'til I get a new place, if that helps." Tony was confused at Bucky's words.
"Why would you be staying at Nat's Buck?" He didn't even react, just answered.
"I have to move out, don't I?" Now Tony was scared. What was Bucky talking about?
"Of course you don't have to move out, why would you think that? You're home is here, Buck."
"Is it? I hurt you 'n Stevie. Pretty bad. People don't just, forgive for that, ya know? If I leave, then it can just be you and Stevie, and you can be happy. You two wouldn't hurt each other." Tony realized he had horribly screwed up.
"Yeah, you hurt me and Steve, but that doesn't mean you have to move out Buck. We still love you. You're still ours." Tony was trying to not let too much emotion out, but he was holding back tears.
"But I'll just hurt you again. At least this'll be the last time I hurt you. Then you guys can be happy." Tony was shaking at this point. he discreetly pressed a button on his pants, alerting Steve that he needed him here, now.
"Of course you will Buck, but that's not the point. We'll all hurt each other, but we also make each other happy. We love you Bucky." For the first time since he got there, Bucky smiled, but it was not a happy smile.
"I knew you would say that Tony. I love you. Tell Stevie I love him too." And with that, Bucky showed the gun he had been cradling and pulled the trigger.