/On a scale from 1 to 10 on the depth scale, this story is 9. Really, really deep. REALLY./

After class 1-A finished their lessons for the day, Izuku and a couple other people stayed in the classroom for a little while to talk about stuff. Mineta sighed loudly, attracting Izuku's attention.

"What's up, Mineta? Relieved the classes are over? :D" He asked, smiling.

Mineta's eyes were focused on something distant outside the window.

"Hey… are you drifting off? What's up man?"

Mineta sighed and started packing his things up, without even looking at Midoriya.

"Hey, Midoriya…" he said. "Do you like it here at UA?"

"What kind of of question is that? Of course!"

"Don't you ever wonder if there are more interesting things to do out there?"

"Not really, studying at UA has been my dream since I was a kid, of course this is what I want to do."

"But what if there are people out there having even more fun than us?"

"Well, good for them, I guess… doesn't mean I would have enjoyed those things more than being here."

Mineta seemed really sad, despite trying his best to hide it.

"Hey, what's on your mind, dude?" Izuku asked. "Do you regret applying for the Hero Class?"

"No, not really… it's just…" Mineta took a deep breath. "What if I told you that there are people out there, same age as us, that eat pussy and ass every day?"

"Excuse me?"

"While we play heroes over here and learn about Math, literature and some other bullshit, others get to do anal with actual women."

"? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "

"Like, what if you met a guy, and he asked you 'hey what have you been doing all week?' and you said 'studying, doing homework, normal stuff', and they replied with 'oh I see, well I have been to a BDSM session on Wednesday, and at Friday my gf had birthday so I ate her ass all day… oh, that reminds me, tomorrow we're scheduled for a footjob. I've been waiting to try this whole Cock and Ball Torture for a while now.' "

"Dude, are you jealous that other people have sex and you don't?"

"Do you?"

"Uh… no, but…."

"Well then shut the fuck up. Even if you had sex with, for example, idk… Momo, you'd just have normal sex, right?"

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"It would be awkward for you to ask her if you can eat her ass, right?"

"I don't know how these things work!"

"Well then how do people do it?! 'uh excuse me, I've been thinking, can you like, give me a footjob?'"

"WHY FOOTJOB?!"

"Who gives a shit man, whatever, let's say you're really into pegging, how do you bring it up?"

"Dude what the actual fuck, what the hell is pegging? Wait let me google that."

Izuku googled pegging.

"WHAT."

"Exactly! How the hell do you tell anyone that you're into this shit, without them laughing at you?!"

"Why would they laugh?"

"Why wouldn't they? It's pretty out there, like, this isn't normal."

"Well then they would just disagree…"

"But from then on, they would know and remember that you're into pegging! What if you had a gf, she denied your pegging request, and then she met her friends and said shit like 'hey so um my bf asked me yesterday if I could peg him…' and her friends would be like 'hoolyy shit xDD no way!' and they would make fun of you behind your back?"

"Mineta, listen." Izuku said. "What is your main point? I don't understand where this is going."

"Midoriya, you dipshit, don't you understand? I would much rather fuck bitches in the ass and do BDSM shit and CBT, maybe even some pegging, why the fuck not, than sit here in this fucking school and keep doing normie shit for the rest of my life."

"Then leave!" Izuku raised his voice. "Leave UA, go and fuck those bitches."

"Oh really nigga? Well then show me where I can find those bitches! Show me, give me the coordinates at which I can find bitches that will want to fuck me."

"Dude what the fuck, I don't know, like… download a dating app or some shit."

"There are people who have lots and lots of violent, immoral, definitely-not-christian intercourse, including fisting and licking toes, without the need of an app, they somehow found the right people. And what do I get? Fucking nothing."

"You're an incel."

"You're a retard."

"Dude seriously, you're fucking stupid. Go kill yourself."

"Okay."

Mineta got up and jumped from the window. He broke all of his bones and died painfully. Midoriya had to live knowing that he drove his friend into suicide, and after a couple of months of internal pain and regret, Midoriya killed himself as well. He died as he lived. A virgin.

THE END

So uhhhh where is my Nobel prize?