The sinking feeling that had settled in the pit of his stomach the moment he'd realized that Clint had returned alone spread throughout his entire body as he listened to his friend's account of what had taken place on Vormir. He idly listened to the others reacting to the news, the tears threatening to overflow behind his big dark glasses.
A million unfinished thoughts ran through his mind faster than he could reconcile them with the fact that he'd never see her again as he choked out, "Do we know if she had any family?"
He was only certain of one thing as he took in the pain on everyone else's faces: he missed her now, and he would miss her for an eternity.
Broken, he pulled his glasses off and folded them up as he took in a deep, defeated breath, not even caring who saw him wipe the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.
He remembered closing his eyes, but somehow there was a bright, white light and he had to blink a few times to clear his head. The first thing he noticed was that the noise, any kind of noise was gone. They won, he knew that much and somewhere, far away in the back of his mind, he knew what it cost, even if he couldn't dwell on it.
Her hair was like fire, her features so clear and if this was heaven, then she must have been made an angel for her sacrifice.
She lit up with recognition and the feeling of dread he'd carried with him disappeared when she spoke. At least until he saw it on her face as the dawn of the gravity of how he ended up here with her registered on her face.
Then she touched his face and nothing else seemed to matter.
He wondered inwardly what this place was, only he must have said it out loud because she answered.
She called it the sun, and he pointed out that it wasn't the sun. She tried to explain that it was white, endless, and hot, sometimes cold and all consuming. Then she smiled and suddenly he understood what this sun was.
Her eyes were wide and doe-like when she told him that she didn't know how to get out of this place.
"Well, then I guess you're stuck with me for an eternity, darling," He said.
She smiled again, a small one, but yeah, this was the sun.
He mentally calculated things like time, space, distance and force but none of those things seemed to make sense. He just needed to sit, just needed to close his eyes for a second.
She promised him that it would be okay, that she would watch over him if he wanted to try to sleep. He wasn't sure if he even could, here.
"Let me know if you dream," she whispered softly.
He was pretty sure that if he did, it would be about her.
They talked for a long time, but then again it also could've been a short time and it wouldn't have made a difference. She told him stories from when she was young, stories covered in blood.
He told her similar stories filled with fear from his other life and she nodded in understanding. Then she started dancing. They talked, and she danced. And she danced, and they talked.
Until she invited him to dance beside her. He didn't know how, but he thought he could learn. If he had an eternity to spend, he would spend it dancing beside her.
Her eyes were wide and soft, and she was looking to him for answers, but of course he didn't have any. He tried to give her some anyway, tried to make it okay.
"What do you want?" He asked her.
"I just want to feel something again," she whispered.
That he could do. He could make her feel something. He would make her feel something.
He leaned closer, tilting her head back as he kissed her. All his spoiled life she was the one thing he'd wanted that he could never have.
Her lips were soft and gentle as she kissed him back, holding him, touching him, and if this is how they were meant to spend eternity then he could do it.
She kissed him again and again and he kissed her and yeah, he could do it.
Her mouth was soft, endless, and all consuming. And he wanted to devour all of it.
Her eyes were closed as he kissed her with everything he had left to give, but then he felt the pull, felt her being pulled away and her eyes shot open at the same time his did.
"No," he said, although he wasn't sure if it was out loud or in his head. "Don't go."
He pulled her arm in a panic, trying desperately to keep her next to him. "I want you," he told her, but he wasn't sure if she could hear him. "I just want you for eternity….."
And then she was gone, again. And he missed her.