With everything going on in the world, I figured what better to do than write about our favorite duo? One-shot set after Maura wakes up from donating her kidney to Cailin...enjoy :)
The low hum and the periodic beeping were the first sounds Maura heard as she began to regain consciousness. Her limbs felt heavy from the anesthetic and she still felt drowsy. There was a faint pain in her lower abdomen where she knew there were the stitches from her surgery. Slowly, she opened her eyes and the hospital room came into focus.
Her gaze flitted across the room, finding nobody there to greet her. There were flowers on the bedside table indicating someone had been there, but now the room was empty and silent, aside from the noises the machines were making. Maura couldn't help but feel a surge of disappointment course through her veins. Somehow she was always alone. She was half expecting Hope to be there, tears in her eyes, thanking her for donating a kidney to save Cailin. But of course, that was just her naive self creating images of people that the real thing could never live up to.
All her life, Maura had built up ideas of family. Her mother, her father, and now Hope and Cailin. She imagined mothers who were warm and caring, fathers who taught her how to change a tire and a sister who would become her co-conspirator in life. She imagined sleepovers with girl friends who would laugh and stay up until they could no longer keep their eyes open. A job where people enjoyed her company and laughed with her rather than at her. And yet, people always let her down. Reality could never live up to expectations. In her parents defense, she didn't actually call to tell them she was going through with the kidney transplant. After all, it was awkward and new and she didn't want her parents judgement and disapproval.
Maura knew her parents would ask why she was donating a kidney to a girl who clearly didn't want a relationship. Truth be told, Maura had asked herself the same question over and over before going into surgery and couldn't come up with a definite answer. It might be because she wanted to be apart of their lives and perhaps giving a kidney was her way to start a relationship. She snorted at the thought, what a bizarre way to start a relationship with your birth mother and half sister. It might be because she was programmed to give and give and rarely ever expected anything in return- something she'd struggled with her whole life. Maybe it was because she worked with dead people every day and needed to be the reason Cailin didn't join those people on her autopsy table. Or maybe it was a combination of many different circumstances and feelings that lead to her signing the consent form to have her kidney taken away.
She let out a deep sigh. It honestly didn't matter why she chose to donate her kidney because in the end she did it. But she couldn't shake the disappointment that Hope wasn't there. Surely, she was with Cailin, waiting on bated breath for her to wake up and smile. But what about Maura? She was Hope's daughter too and she was the one who donated a perfectly healthy and functioning kidney to a virtual stranger. It stung and made her so angry. Yet again, Dr. Maura Isles was alone.
Maura was so deep in thought, she didn't even register when the raven-haired detective entered the room until she heard, "Maura you're awake!" Maura's hazel eyes locked with Jane's chocolate ones and she saw the love and concern etched in her gaze, "How are you feeling"
The detective moved to sit on the side of Maura's bed and put her hand on the medical examiner's knee, "I'm alright, a little sore but alright."
"I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up, I was getting coffee" Jane held up the cup in proof, regret and sorrow written across her face.
"Don't worry Jane, you're here now" Maura smiled at the detective, forgiving her instantly.
"No, I should've been here for you when you woke up" Jane said forcefully, "you shouldn't have been alone"
"Jane you're always there for me, it's alright"
Maura could tell Jane was still beating herself up inside but it was true. Jane was there. Jane was always there. Maura couldn't believe she was so focused on the fact Hope wasn't there that she forgot Jane would be there. Ever since Jane took the medical examiner under her wings, Maura was never truly alone. Angela lived her guest house and there were countless nights where the two women would talk and laugh, Jane nowhere to be found. At work she was more comfortable around the other detectives and the members of the homicide unit protected her like she was one of their own. And then there was Jane. Her fiercely loyal, honest, protective and selfless best friend who was always there with a joke or a shoulder to cry on when she needed it.
"Jane, you saved me. You saved me from a life of isolation and being Queen of the Dead. You brought me into a world of nights at the Dirty Robber, playing baseball with a team and having an army to stand behind me and defend me whenever necessary. I love you, and I forgive you so don't beat yourself up alright?" Maura said with determination and conviction.
Jane nodded, "I won't, I promise," a smile broke out on the detective's face, "You know, I had to force Ma and Frankie to go home and get some rest, although I'm sure they'll be here any minute now" Jane smiled at her, paused and said in a low, vulnerable voice, one only Maura was allowed to hear, "I was really scared, Maur. I-we could've lost you"
Maura smiled and rolled her eyes, "It's a routine procedure, Jane. Nothing like shooting yourself in the abdomen" she teased.
Jane shifted on the bed clearly uncomfortable with the emotions she was showing, "Still, I was scared." She looked up and Maura could see the unshed tears lining her eyes.
Maura could see her best friend was still struggling so she gently took the coffee cup from Jane's hands and placed it on the table next to her. She then took one of Jane's hands and placed it above her beating heart. "You feel that?" Jane nodded. "That's my heart beating, pumping blood to my body. I'm alive Jane. And sure, I'll be sore but I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Got it?"
Being able to feel the steady pulse of Maura's heart beating calmed the detective and she nodded, letting out a breath. "Is this how all of you feel when I do some reckless shit and almost get myself killed?" Maura smiled, nodding her head. "God, that sucked, I'm sorry."
Maura laughed and squeezed Jane's hand saying without words that all was forgiven. Even if Hope never contacted her, she would be alright. Maura had Jane and Jane was always there.
AN: I have a bunch of ideas for one-shots and a story I'm working on outlining so there will be more to read in this time of uncertainty. Feel free to send me any one-shot ideas or prompts, no guarantee I'll do them but I'm open to suggestions! Stay safe and drop a review :)