Disclaimer: The beginning to 'Tonks left quickly' is a probably slightly paraphrased version of JKR's 'The Phoenix Lament' chapter of HBP. I did my best to copy it down, added things from Tonks' perspective though, and do not claim ownership of it. Enjoy.
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Tonks took the only available seat left awkwardly, next to Remus. He avoided her gaze.
The doors opened with a creak, and Harry and Ginny entered looking apprehensive. Hermione leapt up and hugged Harry.
Lupin made to get up, but thought better of it. "Are you alright, Harry?" He asked instead.
"Yeah… how's Bill?" Harry asked, standing next to Ron and Hermione.
Nobody answered. Madam Pomphrey busied herself by dabbing a foul-smelling green ointment on Bill's wounds. Ginny looked close to tears and Fleur was already reduced to such.
"Can't you fix them with a charm or something?" Harry broke the silence.
"No charm will work on these," said Madam Pomphrey. "I've tried everything I know, but there's no cure for werewolf bites."
"But he wasn't bitten at the full moon," said Ron, who was gazing down at his brother's face as though he could somehow force him to mend just by staring. "Greyback hadn't transformed, so surely Bill won't be a -– a real -? " He looked uncertainty at Lupin, and everyone else did too, including Tonks.
He brushed his auburn hair out of his eyes. "No, I don't think that Bill will be a true werewolf. But that does not mean that there won't be some contamination. Those are cursed wounds. They are unlikely to ever heal fully, and – and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on." Lupin finished.
Tonks now understood why his scars never had healed, apparently being 'cursed'.
"Dumbledore might know something that'd work, though." Ron said. "Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore's orders, Dumbledore owes him, he can't leave him in this state -"
"Ron – Dumbledore's dead," Ginny said tearfully.
"No!" Lupin jumped up and looked wildly from Ginny to Harry, possibly hoping that the latter might contradict her, but when Harry did not, Lupin collapsed back into his chair, head in his hands.
Tonks eyes widened in shock. Her stomach felt like it had been dropped into a pit. "How did he die?" She whispered, shocked. "How did it happen?" Dumbledore, dead? No, that surely can't be true. Dumbledore was strong, he was one of the best wizards of all time! He just simply couldn't be dead…right?
"Snape killed him." Said Harry. "I was there, I saw it. We arrived back on the Astronomy tower because that's where the Mark was. Dumbledore was ill, he was weak, but I think he realised it was a trap when we heard footsteps running up the stairs. He immediately immobilised me, I couldn't do anything, I was under the Invisibility Cloak – and then Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him –"
Hermione clapped her hands to her mouth and Ron groaned. The blonde girl's mouth trembled. Lupin looked positively miserable.
"- more Death Eaters arrived – and then Snape – and Snape did it. The Avada Kedavra." Harry stopped, seemingly unable to go on.
Tonks swallowed a lump in her throat. Madam Pomphrey burst into tears. Nobody paid her any attention except Ginny, who whispered, "Shh! Listen!"
Gulping, Madam Pomphrey pressed her fingers to her mouth, her eyes wide. Somewhere out in the darkness, a phoenix was singing a song of terrible beauty. It was calming, yet stricken and the music seemed to swell inside her before it vanished, plunging them all back into a horrible silence. The silence was broken a minute later when the doors burst open and Professor McGonagall entered the ward. Like all the others, she bore marks of the recent battle, her normally perfect uptight bun messy and frizzy, grazed cuts and scratches, and torn tartan, emerald green robes.
"Molly and Arthur are on their way." She said and the spell of the music was broken: everyone roused themselves, as though coming out of trances, turning again to look at Bill, or else shake their heads or rub their eyes. "Harry, what happened? According to Hagrid, you were with Professor Dumbledore when he – when it happened. He says Professor Snape was involved in some –"
"Snape killed Dumbledore." Said Harry.
She stared at him for a moment, then swayed alarmingly; Madam Pomphrey, who seemed to have pulled herself together, ran forward, conjuring a chair from thin air, which she pushed under McGonagall.
"Snape." Repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. "We always wondered… but he trusted… always… Snape… I can't believe it…"
"Snape was a highly accomplished Occulumens," said Lupin, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. Tonks knew that his school group had hated Snape. "We always knew that."
"But Dumbledore always swore he was on our side!" She whispered, still in shock. "I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn't…" She trailed off, her heart heavier with the recent events.
"He wouldn't hear a word against him, always trusted him." McGonagall said, now dabbing her eyes with a tartan rimmed handkerchief.
"I'd love to know what Snape told him to convince him." Tonks said, bitterly, part of her wanting revenge. She remembered how the Potions Master had hate her when she went to Hogwarts, something that had never changed.
"I know." Harry said suddenly, and everyone turned to look at him, attention caught. "Snape passed on the information that made Voldemort kill my mum and dad. Then Snape told Dumbledore he hadn't realised what he was doing, he was really sorry he'd done it, sorry that they were dead."
They all stared at him.
"And Dumbledore believed that?" Lupin shook his head incredulously, massaging his forehead. 'That Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James, I'm not even sure that's a strong enough word for it, either."
"And he didn't think my mother was worth a damn either." Said Harry. "Because she was a Muggle-born… a 'Mudblood' he called her…"
Nobody asked how he knew this. Tonks and everyone else sat in horrified shock, trying to digest the truth, that Dumbledore truly was dead.
"I don't understand." Said the blonde girl. "How did the Death Eaters get in?"
"There's a Vanishing Cabinet, Luna. In the Room of Requirement, and there's a matching one in Borgin and Burkes, they're connected." Harry said, and everyone stared at him again.
"We messed up Harry. You told us to watch the Marauder's Map to see if Malfoy came out, and we did. We waited outside but when he came out he threw some black powder in the air, and we couldn't see anything, it all went pitch black. We tried everything, Lumos, Incendio, nothing worked. Meanwhile Malfoy got off with his stupid 'Hand of Glory' and all we could do was grope our around the corridor, hoping for a way out. And we could hear people rushing past us, but we didn't dare use any curses in case we hit one of each other. And by the time there was light and we could see, they'd gone." Said Hermione, crying, and Ginny's hand was patting her shoulder, though she too was crying.
"Luckily," Said Lupin hoarsely. "Ron, Ginny, and Neville ran into us immediately and told us what happened. We found the Death Eaters immediately, heading for the Astronomy Tower. A fight broke out, and one of them, Gibbon, I think, broke off and ran up the steps. Probably to set off the Dark Mark. I don't think he liked the idea of waiting up there alone, waiting for Dumbledore, because he came running back down the steps and got hit by a Killing Curse that just missed me."
"We were so stupid, Harry." Hermione said, her eyes sparkling in tears. "Me and Luna were outside Snape's office, watching him like you said, when Flitwick came running down the stairs shouting about Death Eaters in the castle and he ran inside Snape's office. A minute later, there was thud and Snape came running out. He t-told us th-that Flitwick had collapsed and we'd better go help him. So we went inside and he was laying there, unconscious. And oh, it's so obvious now, Harry! Snape stupefied him! We were so s-stupid!" Hermione burst into tears again.
"It's not your fault, Hermione. If you had refused, Snape would have likely killed you too." Remus said firmly.
"So he came upstairs... and he found where we were fighting…" Harry said slowly, as if trying to piece the events together.
"We were in trouble, we were losing." Tonks said in a low voice, much unlike her usual. "Gibbon was down, but the rest of the Death Eaters seemed ready to fight until death. Neville had been hurt… Bill had disappeared, now I know he'd been savaged by Greyback… It was all dark… a massive blonde Death Eater was firing Killing Curses everywhere, just missing us. The Malfoy boy had vanished, he must've slipped past, up the stairs… then more of them ran after him, but one of them had blocked the stairs with some kind of curse… Neville ran at it and got thrown up in the air… we couldn't get rid of it." N
"None of us could break through." Said Ron. "And that Death Eater was still firing curses, they were all bouncing off the walls, barely missing us…"
"And then Snape was there." Said Tonks. "And then he just… just ran up the steps, like that barrier wasn't there. And me and Lupin tried to go after him, we took a run at it, but we got thrown back just like Neville." She was desperately trying not to think about 'me and Lupin'.
"I'll bet you need a Dark Mark to get through." Harry said savagely. "What happened when he came back down?"
"Well the big Death Eater had just fired off a curse that caused half the ceiling to cave in," Said Lupin. "We all ran forward, those who were still standing in the way. And then Snape and the boy emerged from all the dust. Obviously, none of us attacked them."
"We just thought they were being chased by Death Eaters." Tonks said in a hollow voice. "We just let them pass…and next thing, the other Death Eaters were back and Greyback too, and we were fighting again. I thought I heard Snape shout something, but I don't know what."
"He shouted 'It's over.'" Harry said. "That he'd done what he'd meant to do."
They all fell silent. Tonks looked back and forth amongst the worried faces, Fleur was crying silently in the corner sitting next to Bill's bed, Ginny and Hermione still sniffling and wiping their noses on their sleeves, Ron looked about to be sick. Harry was just blankly staring at the wall, his hand clenched tightly in his pocket and Luna was rearranging her hair to cover up a nasty bruise on her temple, looking shocked.
The doors burst open again, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley rushed in. Molly let out a sob when she saw Bill and she and Arthur came running further. Tonks and Lupin jumped up to move out of the way, sacrificing their chairs.
"Oh Bill!" Molly sobbed, moving her chair next to Fleur's, wanting to be close to her son.
"Molly, Arthur. I am so sorry." McGonagall whispered.
"You said Greyback attacked him? But he hadn't transformed? What does that mean? What will happen to Bill" Mr. Weasley said distractedly.
"We don't yet know." Said Professor McGonagall, looking helplessly at Lupin.
"There will probably be some contamination, Arthur." Said Lupin. "It's an odd case, possibly unique… We don't know what his behavior might be like when he awakens…"
Mrs. Weasley took the green ointment from Madam Pomphrey and began to dab Bill's wounds.
"And Dumbledore… Minerva, is it true? Is he really-" Mr. Weasley's eyes darted to the Transfiguration professor.
She nodded. And Molly gasped.
"Dumbledore gone." She whispered, still not looking up from her eldest son. She began to sob, tears falling on his mutilated face. "Of course, it doesn't really matter how he looks… It's not r-really important… but he was such a handsome little b-boy… always very handsome….and he was g-going to be married"
"And what do you mean by zat?" Said Fleur suddenly and loudly. "What do you mean, ' 'e was going to be married'?"
Mrs. Weasley raised her tear stained face, looking startled. "Well only that…"
"You theenk that Bill will not wish to marry me anymore?" demanded Fleur. "You theenk that because of these bites he will not love me?
Oh, you'd be surprised. Thought Tonks bitterly.
"No, that's not what I –"
"Because 'e will!" said Fleur, drawing herself up to her full height and throwing back her long mane of silver hair. "It would take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!"
"Yes, yes, I'm sure." Said Mrs. Weasley. "But I thought perhaps…given how…how he…"
"You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per'aps, you hoped?" Accused Fleur, her nostrils flaring. "What do I care how he looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk! All these scars show zat my husband is brave! And I shall do that!" She added fiercely, pushing Mrs. Weasley aside and taking the ointment from her.
"Our Great-Auntie Muriel has a very beautiful tiara, goblin made, which I'm sure would look lovely on you and I'm sure I could persuade her to lend it to you for the wedding. It would look beautiful in your hair." Said Mrs. Weasley after a long pause.
"Thank you." Said Fleur stiffly. "I am sure zat will be lovely."
Tonks wasn't quite sure how it happened, it was rather sudden, but then the two women were sobbing in each other's arms.
It was beautiful. She thought. Fleur didn't care that Bill had been bitten… and… Tonks thought suddenly, realizing something else. And… and that means he shouldn't care! She turned to Lupin angrily.
"You see!" Tonks said in a strained voice. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten, she doesn't care!"
"It's different." Said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking quite tense. He obviously wanted to avoid this conversation. Molly and Arthur were looking at them with rapt interest, fully knowing what was about to go down. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely –"
"But I don't care either, I don't care!" Tonks said, seizing the front of his robes angrily and shaking them. "I've told you a million times…" She saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione's faces light up in realization, especially Harry's after seeing her wolf Patronus.
"And I've told you a million times," Remus said, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor. "That I am too old for you, too poor… too dangerous…"
Tonks felt a surge of anger over their well-rehearsed argument (at this point they had had it many times) but before she could open her mouth to say anything, Molly did.
"I've said all along that you're taking a ridiculous stand on this, Remus." She said.
"I am not being ridiculous. Tonks deserves someone young and whole, she deserves someone far better than me."
Tonks nearly scoffed.
"But she wants you." Said Mr. Weasley. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so." He gestured sadly to his son and Tonks felt a surge of happiness that the Weasley's were defending her, trying to convince him.
"This is… not the moment to discuss it." Lupin said, avoiding everyone's eyes as he looked around distractedly. "Dumbledore is dead…"
"Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in this world." Said Professor McGonagall curtly. Lupin's face flushed and Tonks's smiled weakly at her, appreciantly.
Hagrid came through the door, his face red and streaked with tears. "I-I did it. I m-moved him. An-and Professor Sprout's got the k-kids in bed."
"Thank you, Hagrid." McGonagall said. Then she turned to Tonks and Remus. "The Minister should be hear soon, he'll want to hear your stories, seeing as how you fought for the Order. I'll alert Kingsley too. Please go up to Dumble – the headmaster's office to await him."
Tonks left quickly, but she wasn't sure where to go. Her heart was filled with so much dread, everything in her life was falling apart and it didn't seem like it would ever be whole again. So, on a sudden impulse, Tonks changed course past the few still lit torches on her way up to East Tower, which besides the Astronomy Tower had the best view of the stars.
So Tonks stood there staring at the sky and was overridden with grief in just a few seconds. Every death that had happened recently came flooding over her. Amelia Bones… Sirius… Dumbledore. And Bill, one of her closest friends had been savaged by Fenir Greyback. Everyone was dying or injured, the war seemed pointless now. Tonks let out a sob and buried her face in her hands as she slid down the wall and sat on the floor. A breeze drifted past, blowing some of the longer pieces of her limp brown, boring hair in her face. She sniffed and wiped her eyes and looked towards the stars again, hoping to see the Sirius constellation. But Tonks knew she wouldn't, she had gotten a troll in astronomy.
The Dark Mark still burned green in the sky, and when she saw it, a sense of rage fell over her, masking the sorrow. How could Dumbledore just have left them all with this mess, how could Snape kill him? Everything was too much. Tonks heard faint footsteps coming up the tower, but she didn't bother to stand. She didn't want to do anything right now.
Finally the person reached the top and to her shock and chagrin, it was the person she wanted to see the least of at that moment, Remus Lupin. So without any warning, Tonks stood and brushed past him, heading down the stairs, tears stinging her eyes.
But, she could only avoid him for so long. When she was walking through the grounds, the black sky above her and the soft grass blowing in the breeze, she heard his quick footsteps behind her, but there was nowhere to go to avoid him. So she sat down against a large rock protruding prom the ground.
"Dora?" said Remus coming up behind her.
She didn't reply and leaned her head back against the rock, tilting it towards the dark sky. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Dora?" He repeated, sitting down beside her.
"Don't call me that." She snapped. He wasn't allowed to call her that, not with how he'd been acting.
"Okay, Tonks then." Lupin said. "We need to talk."
She nearly scoffed. "Yeah, no kidding." She rolled her eyes, raising her hand to wipe some of her tears away.
"We can't-"
"I don't want to hear that." Tonks took a deep breath. "You want me gone? You want me to stop bothering you? Fine. Fine. I've given up, Remus! I've given up, are you happy now?! You can just go around mopping and feeling bad for yourself then." She was boiling with anger inside.
His eyes were filled with hurt, which is not what she expected at all. "I… No, that's not good. You… you shouldn't give up."
This time she really did scoff. "You're a filthy hypocrite. You keep trying to convince me to give up and here you are trying to tell me not to give up. So make up your mind, Remus. What do you want?"
Lupin hesitated. "I… I want you."
Tonks thought she was hallucinating. "What?" She stopped looking at the sky and her head snapped to look at him.
"I love you, Dora." He said.
"Tonks." She insisted, but was hanging on his every word, wanting to see where he was going with it.
"I want to be with you."
"Then let me be with you, stop trying to push me away!" Tonks exclaimed, frustrated.
"I want to, believe me, I do, but I'm too old, too poor and too dangerous for you." Remus told her sadly. "You deserve someone so much better than me."
Her hopes of what he had been about to say deflated. He had gone back to default. "You are not! You are not! And I am sick of this! Sick of telling you that you are wrong! I've been telling you for months, nearly a year that you are wrong! I hate it, it's like you need validation! I can't stand it! When will you get it through your thick skull that I don't care about your supposed faults?" She could feel the anger coursing through her veins.
"And when you say I don't deserve you, think about what you're saying! Do you think I deserve this? Do you think I deserve to sit here, day in and day out, depressed and useless without my powers? Do you think I deserve to constantly think about what I might've done wrong? It's like being in Azkaban! Not that I really know… but it's probably horrible like that… sorta." She muttered, trailing off.
Then, remembering what she was saying, she continued angrily. "Yeah, it's like being with dementors, every day, just sucking the happiness out of you! I can't take it anymore! I love you, for Merlin's sake, Remus!"
He sighed, and the two lapsed into silence. They sat there for several minutes without a single word from either of them, both just staring into the sky at the twinkling stars. It was unbelievable how the stars could just keep blinking like nothing was wrong, when so much had gone wrong in just the last few hours.
"Okay." Remus finally broke the silence.
"Okay what?" Tonks asked, a little annoyed and slightly confused.
"I can't take not being with you anymore, Dora. I want to be with you more than anything. It's like you said, I can't take it anymore. I love you Dora." He told her.
Her heart skipped. Was he really… changing his mind? "You really mean that?" She asked, fearing he would answer no.
"Yes, I do, Dora, I really do. I've been so foolish"
Her reply was simple. She kissed him passionately. When they finally broke apart, she buried her head in his chest.
"I've waited far too long to do that." Tonks said, her voice muffled a bit by his thick gray sweater.
Remus just nodded, hugging her close to him. He seemed to be hesitating on whether or not to say something. But whatever it was, he seemed to decide to say it. "Marry me."
Now she really was sure she was hallucinating. She swore she stopped breathing. "What?" Tonks could barely get the word out.
"Marry me." Remus repeated, seemingly more confident now that he'd already said it once.
"Yes." Tonks said without hesitation.
Now it was his turn to say, "What?"
"I'll marry you." She replied, unbelievably happy. She felt like she could just pick up and fly, lift into the clouds and stay there forever. It was like a million butterflies had been released into the air. "There's going to be a war, and any of us could die at any second… I don't want to die unmarried to the mad I love. Hell, Bill and Fleur understood that a long time ago, even then."
"Your hair." Remus said suddenly, reaching up and gently tugging a lock of her hair before her eyes to see.
It was pink. She could morph again! Tonks's face split into a grin and she kissed her fiancé again.
"I love you so much, you know that?" He told her, once more hugging her close to his chest.
"I know. I love you too. Though I do hope I've said it enough to get the point through by now." Tonks smiled a bit. Then her face fell. "It feels odd, being so happy when Dumbledore's dead, doesn't it?"
Remus sighed heavily. "Yes. This is going to be worse than the last war, because last time we had him."
"Well at least we'll have each other." Tonks told him, standing on her tip-toes and kissing his cheek.
And they just sat there for a little while, staring at the sky.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! I just love them! Please leave a review of what you think, because I want to know, just please be polite. Have a great day everyone! Stay healthy from the Coronavirus and WASH YOUR HANDS! Don't panic buy, you leave nothing for anyone else.
