The human body is constantly in a state of death and regeneration. The popular myth is after seven or ten years, every cell has been replaced. When you look at your reflection, the person staring back is an entirely new, entirely different creature.
It was no surprise that Jade found herself musing over this myth as she stared at herself in the hotel bathroom mirror. The woman staring back at her was familiar, but conflicted with her unstable mental image of herself. Before checking her reflection each the morning, Jade had an equal chance of seeing herself as she appeared as a teenager. Was she really a completely different person now?
It was still dark outside – a fact Jade still preferred – in the pre-dawn hours that Friday morning. Her week of meetings in New York City had gone well, almost too well, and she had an early flight back home to Los Angeles. The trip had become routine; she almost didn't hate how she lost an entire day flying eastwards at the start of the week. The trip home on Friday always made up for it. She'd find an early flight and, despite the six hour trip and relentless L.A. traffic, she'd be home by late morning.
The Jade in the mirror softly smiled as she thought about what should be waiting for her back at home later that morning. Her expression quickly jerked into a concerned scowl when she caught sight of herself in the mirror's glassy surface. That soft smile came too easily. How long had she smiled like that when thinking about her life at home? Long enough that it came unbidden, but not long enough to look familiar. Jade used to hate her home life as a kid, but something had changed. She wasn't a kid anymore. Jade finished packing and left the hotel.
It was in the airport when Jade caught sight of herself again. The stainless steel surfaces showed a teenager with long, light brown hair, colorful extensions and a rebellious outfit. Her style would be considered punk or gothic by most considerations, and the scowl on her face painted the rest of the picture for anyone unfortunate enough to be caught looking at her. She saw herself staring, slack-jawed, at a singer's performance in the Big Showcase at Hollywood Arts. It was the first time she ever felt like anyone else at the school was capable of performing on her level.
"Ma'm, please step forward," came the bored voice of a TSA agent. Jade shook her head, back in the present. She hadn't slept very well this week, which was normal any time she was away from home, but it didn't justify daydreaming in the security line. Irritated with herself, but not embarrassed, Jade finished her security screening and walked through the airport to find the nearest coffee shop.
Jade smirked to herself. Coffee was one great constant in her life. If possible, she drank more of the beverage now than she did as a kid. If it was a habit in school, it was now an addiction. She was literally hopeless without her morning caffeine. The perky attendant too cheerfully asked for Jade's order.
"Black, two sugars," Jade replied, suddenly back at the Jet Brew stand in the Asphalt Cafe. As she paid for her coffee and turned back towards the school, she saw Tori enter the school grounds with a coffee in hand and her eyebrow pitched upwards. Since when did Tori start drinking coffee before school?
Jade blinked and realized she was sitting at the gate for her flight. She held one hand up to support her head. What was wrong with her today? It was like everything was suddenly reminding her of her schooldays at Hollywood Arts. She frowned as she thought about the school. True, she credited her time there for helping to launch her career, but her high school years weren't a time in Jade's life that made her wax nostalgic with joy. She had spent a significant amount of time after graduating trying to forget about the more painful parts of her life as a practically abandoned teenager. It was made even worse when her relationship with her boyfriend, Beck, fell apart again as they neared the end of their Senior year. There was only one person from that time in her life that mattered now, and remembering that was enough to drive the frown from Jade's face. Her time at Hollywood Arts wasn't always great, but it was entirely worth it.
Six hours is a long time for anyone to sit in one place. Jade, lost in thought, stared at her ghostly, translucent form in the plastic window of the aircraft. She never liked flying – she hated it, really. But at some point, it became just something she had to do to continue her career. How many other things did Jade use to hate? She made videos about it, she thought, and shared them online. But that was a long time ago.
How many things did Jade hate now? She didn't really think about it all that much – her time was consumed with matters that were just more important. Even her clothes this morning showed her change in priorities; her long black hair was lazily put up in a loose bun for ease of travel, and she was wearing a loose dark outfit designed for comfort rather than fashion. In the past, she wouldn't have been caught dead outside without expertly doing her hair and make-up and looking like a rock star.
But Jade's ego had long-since been placated, stoked by her newly developed self-confidence like a comfortable fireplace. She knew how to look good, sexy even, but she didn't need to impress these people. She really just wanted everyone to ignore her, just like everyone else seemed to want everyone else to ignore them. Hundreds of people shoved together, each desperately pretending the others didn't exist. In that, at least, Jade felt kinship.
And once again, the girl staring back at Jade in the plastic surface of the window was different. Bright blue extensions hanging over a black lacy top, the Jade in the window was staring, surprised, because Tori had just told her she was pretty. Not sarcastically, not in dry humor, but in earnest, intentional tones. That night at Nozu was so strange for both of them, but Jade never forgot a single detail about that entire evening. That may have even been one of the most important nights of her life, but she didn't realize it until much later.
The plane landed and Jade's entire body shook. She looked back at the window and only the speeding runway greeted her.
Thankfully, Jade was able to focus on the drive home and didn't find herself lost in further thought until she pulled into the driveway and shut off the car. She leaned back in her seat, closed her eyes and let out a content sigh. Being home felt good – like a pressure was suddenly lifted from her chest and shoulders. She opened her eyes and saw the blue-green orbs in the rear-view mirror, but the eyes staring back were upset – angry even. She was still in her car, but it was pitch black outside and Tori was rushing to leave. Jade's arm whipped forward and latched onto Tori's wrist. In one swift motion, she pulled the girl back to sit in the passenger seat and the door shut behind her. Tori was practically in tears.
"Jade, I...I can't answer that question," she forced out. Jade frowned.
"You asked me the same question!" she challenged, irritated for reasons that only became apparent later. "And it's bullchiz that you'd even ask me that today, knowing how I'd have to respond," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Tori took the opportunity and left the car, muttering an apology. As Jade looked at Tori's retreating form, mad with herself more than the half-Latina singer, her eyes flicked over the dashboard.
12:17 A.M. Sikowitz's challenge had run out more than fifteen minutes ago. Well before Tori had asked if Jade had a crush on her.
10:32 A.M. The sun shifted through the trees just enough to blind Jade back to reality. She blinked the temporary blindness away before gathering her belongings and heading for the door.
The inside of the modest home was quiet, dark and clean. Superficially, the layout of the home was eerily similar to Jade's teenage home. But where the house Jade inhabited in her high school years was an inhumane mausoleum, this place was vibrant and exuded a welcoming aura that could only be fueled from the love of the people that lived there. Jade set her bags down in the hallway; she'd take care of them later tonight. First, there was the matter of her bed.
Jade quietly entered the bedroom, far more careful than she would have ever believed she was capable of. The lump under the bed-covers barely moved as the door latched back into place. Jade moved to the bed and slowly lowered herself onto the mattress. Laying on top of the covers, she leaned over and draped an arm across her bedmate. Quicker than Jade could react, the covers shifted and a pair of deep brown eyes were staring back at her.
"I didn't want to wake you up," Jade answered the unasked question.
"I wasn't asleep yet," Tori replied with a lazy smile. "Took care of a few things when I got home this morning and just laid down an hour ago," she explained. In a well-practiced motion, Tori leaned forward and pecked Jade on the lips. "Glad you're home." Jade smiled.
"Glad you're home too. Good tour?" she asked, genuinely curious. Tori nodded, cutely yawning and leaning away to avoid exhaling in Jade's face.
"Yeah, but now I just want to sleep for a year," she replied. Jade laughed lightly. When she looked back at the singer, Tori was staring at her eyes.
"What?" Jade asked, her tone not conveying a hint of irritation or frustration. Tori smiled.
"That. You always care so much about me, and I just love the reminder," she explained. Jade scrunched up her nose.
"Yeah, yeah. You've ruined my tough-girl attitude, I know," she replied with a hint of sarcasm. Tori laughed.
"No, you're still tough as nails. I've overheard your conversations with producers who try to short you for your scripts. Just, it's nice to not be on the pointy end anymore," Tori softly corrected her. Jade scoffed.
"You haven't been on the pointy end for a long time, Tori."
Tori hummed her approval as she reached out and took Jade's wrist in her hand. The gold band around Tori's ring finger was warm against the inside of Jade's arm. Jade mirrored the action, taking Tori's opposing wrist in her grasp under Tori's pillow.
"Ten years, right?" Tori asked. Jade's brows furrowed in confusion.
"Huh? Ten years what?" she questioned back.
"That's how long I haven't been on the 'pointy end'," Tori clarified. Jade shook her head slightly.
"No, we met ten years ago," she corrected. Narrowing her eyes in thought, she voiced her realization. "Actually, we met ten years ago to the day." Tori's eyes lit up.
"Aww! You remember the exact day we met?" Jade nodded.
"How could I not? I soaked you with iced coffee," Jade said with a jackass grin. Tori frowned.
"Oh yeah. That day. Did I ever apologize for kissing Beck?" she asked, passive-aggressively pushing back on Jade. Jade actually laughed in response.
"No, you didn't, and I never apologized for dumping coffee on your head. And I never will," Jade replied smugly. Tori's expression was curious, but she knew Jade well enough to know she had a hidden meaning.
"Uh huh. Cuz if you hadn't, we may have met under different circumstances?" Tori guessed. Jade smiled.
"If at all. The road wasn't pretty then, but it is now," Jade responded poetically. Tori fawned over her again and Jade couldn't help but groan, even if she was still grinning. "You've made me a sap, you know that, right?" Tori shook her head, eyes bright.
"No, you did that to yourself. I've just been your target," came her quick reply. She'd lost count of how many times they had this exchange.
Jade watched her wife's vibrant smile and saw herself reflected in Tori's bright, chocolate irises. Finally, it was just her. It was her today, now, as she was – the only way she could be, the outcome of all her past choices. Who she was then, leading to who she was now.
It was the only reflection that mattered.