Sometimes, I know Kid Curry better than he knows himself. I know how he thinks. It ain't simple thinking. It's more like...pure., you know...untarnished. Like when he's standing in the street, facing some yahoo in a gunfight, Kid studies the fella, but he ain't just looking at the surface. He ain't just studying the little nervous twitches like the way a man's fingers move when his hand is poised inches from his gun, or the way his eyes start darting a bit when he realizes Kid's eyes are boring a hole in him. No, Kid sees right into the man, sees what makes the man tick, sees the exact instant that tiny shred of of doubt starts weaseling into the man's confidence, sees just where the other fellow's weakness lays.
But I know how Kid thinks in other times, too. I know what makes him angry, what makes him start to hurt inside, what brings him joy. I know what pulls at his heartstrings and I know what causes him to just shut down and pull that wall of protection around him. I'm not talking about the physical things that can stir all this up in a man. I think most women would say it's the emotional stirrings that turn a man all soft inside, but at least with the Kid, it's a lot more complicated than even that.
It takes a lot for Kid to trust someone, but once he does, that trust is rooted so deep in Kid that absolutely nothing will uproot it. Once he trusts someone, he trusts them for life, he don't let go of it.
For Kid, the same is true if he loves someone. I'm not talking about the in the moment kind of love he might feel when he's laying with a whore. I'm talking about that deep steadfast kind of love that women all dream about and men try to steer clear of. The kind that roots its way into a person's heart and drops anchor. I've see Kid come close to that kind of love, like with that little French gal, Michelle. But it wasn't till Bridget that I knew Kid's sails were down, and he'd dropped anchor.
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Red Rock, Wyoming is in the south west corner of the territory. It's just like every other town in the west, sprung up because the land was good for farming or ranching, or because gold or silver was discovered nearby, or some other such precarious reason that only sustains the town until the the reason runs dry, until a drought comes along, or until the gold or silver runs dry.
For the most part, Red Rock is a peaceful little town with a couple of stores, a saloon, a hotel, maybe a church, but not much more. Kid and me rode in on a Sunday afternoon in July. The fourth of July actually, and the town was busy celebrating. Kids was running around in the street, hooting and hollering, and there were booths and tables all lined up with folks selling all sorts of homemade treats. There was the standard shooting contest and after we tethered our horses on a side street, we stopped and watched that for a while. Kid always took an interest in shooting contests. It always humored him what some men thought was fast or good shooting. We watched a water dunking both for a spell, too, and got quite a laugh when a young boy was able to hit the bullseye and the local sheriff when dropping into the water.
But we was both tired and saddle sore so we made our way to the hotel, only to find every room was booked solid for the night. The hotel clerk told us about Adeline's, a boarding house just outside of town, so we got our horses and headed out there and got a room.
Like I said, we was both dead tired and we both just fell on our beds and took a long nap. When we woke it was bout suppertime, so we just used the pitcher and wash basin and cleaned up a tad before heading down stairs for supper. When we were heading down the stairs we were talking about some thing or other and Kid was walking in front of me. He turned around to say something and was walking down the stairs backwards, holding on to the rail. At the bottom of the stairs, we was both laughing and Kid didn't realize there wasn't another stair. He started stumbling and flailing his arms and I was laughing so hard, I couldn't warn him, and he went stumbling right into Bridget, knocking her down just seconds before he landed on his butt on the floor.
Kid scrambled up to his feet and went over to Bridget and took her arm, apologizing profusely as he helped her to his feet.
"I'm so sorry Ma'am. I should have been looking where I was going. I hope I didn't hurt you none?"
"No, I'm fine, thank you. It was my fault. I didn't know you were there. I should have heard you."
"No, Ma'am, it was my fault. I shouldn't have been walking backwards."
"You walk down stairs backwards?" she asked.
Kid glanced up at me and grinned. "Well not usually, Ma'am... Are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine, really. Would you mind helping me to the stairs?"
Kid looked at me, real puzzled, but he took her arm real gently, the way Kid does with a woman.
That's when we both noticed, Bridget couldn't see the stairs, or us. Bridget was blind.
Kid looked at me and motioned for me to go on into the dining room.
"Ma'am, I'll do a bit more than that. I'll walk you to your room. My name is Thaddeus, Ma'am. Thaddeus Jones."
"I'm Bridget Hadley, Mr. Jones."
"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Miss. Hadley. Although I wish the circumstances had been a might different."
Bridget smiled. "I live on the third floor, Mr. Jones."
"Are you the owner of this place, Ma'am?"
"My mother is. She's Adeline.
Kid gently led Bridget's hand to the railing. He observed her give a slight kick of her boot against the back of the first stair and then step up. He watched as she continued to do this with each step until they reached door leading to the third floor apartment.
Bridget fumbled with the key and Kid reached out for it. "Here, let me, Ma'am," he said and unlocked the door. Then he took Bridget's hand a placed the key in the palm of her hand. Being a stranger to her, he didn't want to frighten her, so he did not open the door for her.
"Again, it was a pleasure, Ma'am."
"Thank you Mr. Jones."
"Please, Ma'am, Thaddeus will do just fine."
She smiled. "Thaddeus."
Ordinarily Kid would wait until the woman was safely inside, but he was afraid any lingering might frighten her, so he started down the stairs and found Heyes in the dining room.
"She's pretty," Heyes said as Kid sat down at the table.
"Yep."
"Sweet,"
"Uh-uh.
Heyes smiled knowingly at Kid. "You're going to ask her out, ain't you?"
Kid picked up the menu and began looking over the selections. "Thought I might."
"You dog,"
"What?"
Heyes shook his head. "How is it that you can ride into any town, any time of day or night, and within minutes, you're hooking up with the prettiest woman in town?"
Kid smiled proudly. "Luck of the Irish, I guess, Heyes."
"What will you have, boys?" the middle-aged woman asked.
Kid looked up. "Are you Miss Adeline?" he asked.
"I am. Why do you ask?"
Kid gave her his most charming smile. "I'm Thaddeus Jones, Ma'am. Just thought I'd tell you so later, you'll be able to put a face to the name."
Adeline looked at Heyes with a puzzled expression. Heyes just shrugged.
They ordered, then ate their meal and after supper, they took their horses to the livery and spent the evening walking around the town, looking at all the booths.
"Kid, you ever had chocolate?" Heyes asked while standing in front of a candy booth.
"I've had hot chocolate," Kid replied.
Heyes handed a penny to the lady behind the booth and picked up a chocolate covered cherry and literally stuffed it into Kid's mouth.
Kid took an indignant step back, but stopped suddenly and smiled as the taste filled his mouth.
"How much for a dozen?" he asked the lady behind the booth.
"Ten cents."
"Can I get them in a box rather than a bag?"
The lady nodded and produced a box and began filling it with the chocolates. Kid dug into his pockets for a dime," Thank you, Ma'am," he said as they exchanged the candy and money.
Heyes grinned. "For your new girlfriend?"
Kid blushed but didn't reply.
The next morning Heyes and Kid were eating breakfast in the dining room when Kid spied Bridget coming from the kitchen holding a steaming pot of coffee. He watched her carefully as she approached the first table and the man seated handed her his empty coffee cup. He saw her place the tip of a finger just inside the rim of the cup and expertly fill the cup, knowing exactly when to stop.
When she moved on to the next table, Kid nudged Heyes with his elbow. "Look how she does that," Kid said. "She knows right when to stop."
Heyes watched for a minute, then looked at Kid who was literally mesmerized watching Bridget fill the coffee cups.
"She's probably been blind for a long time," Heyes said.
"How do you know that?"
"Well she has little tricks for coping. She probably knows exactly how many steps it takes to reach the stairs, how many stairs to the landings, you know, that kind of thing."
"That's amazing," Kid remarked.
Adeline walked up to the table to take their orders. "Thank you, Mr. Jones," she said.
"For what?"
"For letting me put a face to a name."
Kid smiled. "Ma'am, would it be alright if I asked Bridget out to dinner tonight?"
"You mean here?"
Kid hesitated and gave Heyes a quick glance. "Well, I was thinking maybe the hotel dining room, Ma'am."
"You feel sorry for Bridget?" Adeline asked.
"Ah, no Ma'am... I think Bridget is pretty amazing, Ma'am"
Adeline smiled. "You can ask her." Adeline said.
Kid uttered a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Ma'am."
Adeline took their orders and disappeared back into the kitchen.
"Would you like your coffee warmed up?" Bridget asked when she reached their table. Kid touched her hand with his coffee cup. "Thank you, Ma'am," he said.
Bridget smiled. "Thaddeus. Good morning."
"Good morning, Bridget. I'd like you to meet my partner. This is Joshua Smith."
Bridget held Kid's coffee cup out to him and when he'd taken it, Heyes handed her his cup. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am," Heyes said
"Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Smith."
"Ah, Bridget... I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight?"
Bridget smiled but hesitated. "I'd have to ask my mother..."
"I already did," Kid quickly said. "She said it was up to you."
Bridget smiled again. "In that case, yes, Thaddeus. I'd love to."
"Shall I come up upstairs or meet you in the lobby?" Kid asked.
"In the lobby will be fine."
"Say, seven?"
"Seven."
"I hope you know what you're getting into, Kid," Heyes said after Bridget was a safe distance from their table.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I know you. One, most likely you, but maybe both of you will end up with a broken heart when we have to leave."
"Heyes, it's just dinner."
"Yea, but I know you, Kid. And I've seen Bridget. You'll be in love by the time dessert arrives.
"Maybe."
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Kid stood in the lobby and watched Bridget gracefully descend the stairs.
"You look beautiful," Kid said, taking her arm when she reached the bottom of the stairs. "Oh, I brought you these," he said, handing her the box of chocolates."
"Candies?" she asked.
"Chocolate covered cherries. I'd never had one before yesterday. They're delicious."
Bridget smiled. "Save room for dessert. We can sit on the porch here and I'll share them with you after dinner."
"That sounds nice."
Bridget smiled. "Are you ready for a lesson?"
"A lesson?" Kid asked.
"How I've learned to get around. For example, it is exactly eleven steps from the bottom of the stairs to the front door... Eleven of my size steps."
Kid smiled."I'll follow your lead," he said.
As they walked to the hotel, Kid marveled at how confidently Bridget walked, how gracefully she moved.
"Can I ask you something?" Kid said quietly.
Bridget smiled. "All my life...That is what you were going to ask, isn't it?"
Kid smiled and nodded, then remember she couldn't see him. "Yes," he replied.
"And now you want to know what it's like?"
"That was going to be one of my questions."
Bridget shrugged. "I can't really tell you what it's like. I've never known any other way... I don't know what it's like to actually see something. I feel things, I smell things, I hear things. I rely on those things."
"This afternoon I tried closing my eyes and walking around the room. I kept bumping into things,"
"There's a way to avoid that, too," she said and stopped walking. She raised her arm in front of her and bent her elbow so her forearm ran horizontally in front of her. "This protects your body from running into to things when your somewhere your not too familiar with. You use your other arm stretched out to use your hand to feel and locate things."
Bridget took a step forward to resume their walking.
"I'll try that tonight," Kid said and Bridget giggled.
"You're sweet, Thaddeus, trying to figure out how I live."
"I think you're amazing," Kid said softly and felt her squeeze his arm.
0-0-0-0-0-
"Lesson number two," Bridget said when their dinners arrived.
"I'm ready," Kid replied and watched Bridget feel for her napkin and place it in her lap. Then her fingers lightly felt for and located the silverware but she didn't pick them up."
"A plate of food is like the face of a clock. Would you turn my plate so that the chicken is at the bottom of the plate, right next to me?"
Kid did as instructed.
"Think of the plate as the face of a clock," she repeated. "The chicken is at six o'clock. Now, where are the green beans? Remember, the top of the place facing you is noon."
"Green beans are at... three o'clock. Potatoes are at...ten o'clock."
Bridget smiled and moved a finger along the edge of the plate to the three o'clock position. "Green beans," she announced.
"Yep."
She moved here finger back and around to the ten o'clock position. "Potatoes,"
"You're right."
"And coffee is always near the one o'clock position, water near the eleven o'clock position."
"Wow."
"Tell me about you, Thaddeus," she said as they ate their dinner. "What do you look like?"
"Well, I have blonde hair," he began, but didn't know how to explain a color to her.
"My mother says blonde hair is like a gentle breeze, while dark hair is more like a storm, although not frightening."
"Never thought of it like that before."
"Well, I know you're tall, broad shouldered, strong. I know you walk with confidence, you laugh easily, you're gentle, at least with me, you're protective and considerate, and polite... Is there a dark side?
"A dark side?"
"Uh-uh. Do you have a temper you keep tucked away? You're not a loner because you travel with your friend. "Do you have deep, dark secrets?"
"I don't usually have a temper. Once in a while Joshua will prod me into a temper, but that's just cause it amuses him to see me get riled up about something... As far as secrets, I suspect everybody's got a few of those."
Bridget reached her hand out across the table and waited for Kid to notice and take hold of her hand. The she smiled.
"I suspect you're right, Thaddeus."
After supper they walked back to the boarding house and sat on the porch swing. Bridget opened the box of candy and popped one in her mouth. Then she offered the box to Kid.
"Oh, no, that's alright. They're for you," he said.
Bridget reached into the box and pulled a chocolate. She turned toward him and with her left hand she reached up and located Kid's cheek. He turned slightly toward her. She raised her right hand and held the chocolate to his lips. Kid opened his mouth and Bridget slid the chocolate into his mouth. Kid wrapped his lips around the two fingers that still held the chocolate. Bridget smiled and slowly pulled her two fingers from Kid's mouth. He leaned forward and kissed her, gently. When he pulled away, he saw her eyes were closed and for some reason, that amused him. He leaned in and kissed her a second time, a little harder, and a soft moan escaped her throat.
When they pulled back, he reached out and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"I had a nice time," he said softly.
"Me too."
"Maybe we could go for a ride or a walk tomorrow?"
"A walk would be nice."
"After supper?"
"Uh-uh."
"I'll meet you here again."
"Alright."
Kid spent the next three evenings taking strolls with Bridget after dinner. They grew accustomed to each other, comfortable with each other and for both of them, their emotions toward each other grew stronger. Kid continued to marvel at how well Bridget dealt with being blind, how little it hindered what she chose to do, how openly she talked about challenges and how determined she was to experience everything life had to offer.
Bridget loved Kid's gentle ways, how he treated everyone gently, not just her. She loved the fact that pity played no part in their relationship, how easily and sincerely he laughed. But she also noted that there were things he avoided telling her, things he was evasive about, things that made him grow distant until she smiled or touched him and drew him back. She wondered what his secrets were, but she cared about him enough not to ask.
"Would you like to go on a picnic tomorrow?"
She smiled brightly. "I'd love to."
"I'd better get you home, now."
Slowly they stood up and Kid took her arm and they went inside and Kid walked her to the third floor.
"Lobby at eleven?" Kid asked.
"I'll be there. I'll have a picnic basket packed."
"I'll have a surrey ready."
"Good night, Thaddeus."
Kid leaned in and kissed again. "Good night, Bridget,"
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"Good time?" Heyes asked when Kid ambled into the room.
"Uh-uh."
"Seeing her again?"
"Yep."
Heyes sat up on the edge of his bed and studied Kid as he readied himself for bed.
"Are you falling for her, Kid?"
"You need to catch up on things, Heyes. That happened yesterday."
"Then you're falling in love with her...already."
Kid didn't reply. He sat down on his bed and pulled off his boots.
"Just remember, you're going to have to leave her, Kid."
Kid dropped his boots on the floor and blue and brown eyes locked.
"Am I?" Kid said.
Heyes heard the hint of defiance in Kid's voice and decided it was best to let the subject drop...for now.
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Kid met Bridget in the lobby at eleven the next morning and walked her out to the surrey he had rented. He helped her into the seat and climbed in beside her.
"There a lovely spot just three miles east of town, with a lake and shade trees."
"That's where we'll head," Kid said and gave the reins a flick of his wrist.
When they reached the spot, Kid helped Bridget out of the surrey and took the picnic basket in one hand, and Bridget's arm in the other. They walked down to a spot just a few few from the water's edge and Kid spread out the blanket and helped Bridget sit down.
"Would you bring me the basket?" Bridget asked.
Kid set the basket next to Bridget, then sat down beside her. She fished through the basket and produced two sandwiches, two glasses, a jar of lemonade, a bunch of grapes. Kid poured the lemonade and handed Bridget a glass while she handed him a sandwich.
They were close enough to the shore to hear the gentle ripples slap against the rocky shoreline. The sun drenched them in warmth while a gentle breeze sent wisps of cool air across their faces.
"It is beautiful out here," Kid said with a sigh.
"Describe it to me."
Kid bit his lower lip. "Did your ma explain the color blue to you?"
Bridget nodded. "She says blue is gentle, like this little breeze, sweet, soft."
"Well that's exactly what the lake looks like right now."
"Ma told me that's the color of your eyes, too."
Kid smiled. "Yep, they're blue. Some folks tell me they look like a bright blue lake, with flecks of sunlight dancing in them."
Bridget smiled. "I bet those folks are all women."
Kid laughed. "You're probably right. I don't think you'd ever hear a man talking like that."
"You know, Thaddeus, I am so glad you bumped right into me the other day."
Kid looked at Bridget, studied her face, her form. He reached over and gently wiped a crumb from her bottom lip.
"Me too," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed her.
She responded by leaning into him and the kiss grew stronger. When it was over, she leaned her head against his shoulder and gently rubbed the front of his shirt with the palm of her hand.
Kid closed his eyes and he rested his cheek on the top of her head, breathing in the fragrance of her hair.
They spent the afternoon resting against each others bodies, occasionally engaging in some idle chitchat, occasionally sharing a kiss. Kid's body ached to take it further. He wanted to feel her, all of her, against his body. He wanted to...
But Kid knew Heyes was right. He knew he would soon be leaving. He knew...
"Bridget?" he said softly, her name rolling off his tongue like a drop of rain streaming down a pane of glass, smooth, gentle, easy.
"Hmm?" she cooed.
"I..." Kid sighed heavily, almost painfully. "I think we'd better be getting back."
"So soon?"
Kid nodded. "Uh-uh," he said.
Her hand pushed against his chest as she sat up. Without thinking, Kid wrapped his hand around her wrist and she stopped, inches from his face. Unable to stop himself, Kid leaned in and gave her a deep, warm, wet kiss.
He heard the tiniest of gasps escape her lips as she slowly drew back.
"I think I'm in love with you, Bridget," Kid said, then shook his head. "No, I know I'm in love with you."
The smile that formed on her face was sad. "But you can't stay, can you?" she whispered.
He shook his head. "No."
Her hand reached up and ever so gently came to rest on his cheek. He leaned into into the palm of her hand.
"Kiss me like that again," she whispered.
Kid's heart was breaking but he leaned in and kissed her like before, only different, lingering and gentle.
0-0-0-0-0-
When they got back to town, said their good byes, and Kid had returned the surrey, he found Heyes in the saloon playing poker. Kid walked up to the bar and rested his elbows on the counter, his shoulders hunched, one foot rested on the boot bar beneath the counter. Seeing Kid's posture, Heyes folded and left the game, coming to stand beside his partner.
Kid didn't so much as glance at Heyes. When his whiskey arrived, Kid raised the glass and swallowed the contents in one gulp, then motioned for a refill.
"Leave it," Kid said when the bartender returned to fill the glass.
"We leaving in the morning?" Heyes asked.
Kid nodded.
Heyes put his arm around Kid's shoulders. "I wish I could tell you it will get better, Kid. It won't. You might not let it rise to the surface all the time, but it will weasel its way up there sure as sunlight."
"I don't like it, Heyes." Kid said quietly.
"No, but you will. One day. You may even find it's a comfort, knowing there's someone out there that feels the same way about you."
Kid raised the shot glass, but stopped half way to his mouth. He turned and looked at Heyes and again, brown eyes locked with pain-filled blue eyes. What the gaze said to each other didn't require words.
But it spoke volumes.