Disclaimer: The world of All the Bright Places belong to Jennifer Niven. I am only borrowing her toys.

Some Bright Places... still

Charlie

He is gone again. I pretend that it doesn't bother me but it does. Brenda is not as good at pretending or 'keeping her quiet' should I say, so she asks him. I told her not to , so she doesn't ask him when I am around. Sometimes I feel that she has started to believe that I dont't give a shit anymore but I do, I really do. I care about him and it breaks my heart to see him like this.

I pretend that it does not effect me because he needs me to. He needs someone who doesn't come up to his face and tell him, " This is not okay! Stop it! Don't go!". He doesn't need that. He already knows that something is wrong with him.

I really want to help him.

If he would only confide in me or Brenda or Kate or even Embryo, we might try to help him.

When I told my Uncle Richard about Finch ( he is a psychiatrist), he reassured me saying that Finch could just have an adventure streak. He also said that in order to make he would need to meet Finch. That never happened. I could never make that happen.

Although, Finch does have an adventure streak. He plays strings in 3+ bands and loves to experiment with new things and even people.

Maybe, it is just that. Maybe I am over thinking. I am not sure. He worries the shit out of me, that Theodore Finch.

It has been a while since he's gone. He is never gone this long. Actually, he has. But something about this one is a little more eerie.

Something is wrong, I can't be sure but something really is.

I was sitting on my computer doing my 'Wander Indiana' project for when my phone buzzes, it is an e-mail from Finch.

'Peace, you todger', it reads.

I instantly call Brenda. She says she received one only minutes ago. Her's is different, it says 'Some guy will definitely love you for who you are. Don't settle.' This scares me. I instantly take off.

I pick her up from her house. She says Violet Markey and Kate have received e-mails too. They both have gone looking. She looks terrified so I decide not to voice my fears. I take her hand as we are driving through Indiana.

'He is okay, right Charlie?" she asks.

I try to keep my expression as unreadable as possible and say, 'That asshole is always okay. We will find him.'

It has been forty five minutes since we started driving and then Kate calls Brenda.

This is not fair. That asshole did not have the right to do it. Why did he get to decide? It was not his choice to make. He is just a jerk to have done this.

Four days have passed since his Funeral. I am standing in front of his tombstone. He is a jerk to have done it, I tell him that. I love him and miss him, I tell him that too.

I brought him flowers. He was a sucker for them, especially for violets so I brought him "Violets".

I turn and leave. I decide to meet his family and maybe later hangout with Brenda, I think I will invite Violet too.