A/n: No ships. Just comedy. I don't own Assassination Classroom.

Nagisa held his schoolbag in his hands as he walked towards the 3-E building. The building already seemed off; quieter than normal. Usually at this time, a good twenty minutes before class began, there would at least be the ringing sound of anti-sensei guns being shot in the back, or the yelling of his classmates as they practiced sparring or dagger swinging.

Yes, this silence was unordinary all right. Trying to ignore the cold sweat on his face, Nagisa clutched the hold of his bag a little tighter.

He already knew the reason behind this unusual calm.

Today was it. The damned awaited day.

He sighed at the thought. I really hope I don't get roped into anything. But even his thoughts didn't seem believable to him. Even Nagisa was aware of Nakamura and Karma's strange obsession to cross-dress him. They were a pair known to stop at nothing. I guess I'll just have to try to stay out of everybody's way today. He thought dejectedly.

He made it to the building and walked in, already hearing muffled, hopeless yells coming from the classroom.

"Karma, you fucking bitCH!"

Ah. Nagisa smiled sadly.

Poor Terasaka.

It was only 8:03 and there was already a fallen victim.

He neared the room of the crime scene, not quite sure what to expect. He'd known Karma for quite a bit, so he'd already been witness to his magic on April Fool's. As cut and laid back as the redhead was, he was surprisingly known for putting in quite a bit of effort to his pranks. He neared the classroom and the yelling stopped. Nagisa opened the sliding door slowly, greeting the target. "Good morning, Terasaka-ku-"

He cut off, speechless at the sight that welcomed him.

"Oh. Nagisa."

The classroom was normal. Koro-sensei's desk still in place. The students' rows of desks were correctly aligned, and nobody except Terasaka was present. The room was still as immaculate as the kids had left it the day before. Nothing was wrong, and Terasaka was comfortably in his seat.

Nothing was wrong unless you unquestioned the fact that Terasaka's seat was a toilet.

What was wrong was the godawful stench that filled the air.

Nagisa took a step back, stammering. "T-Terasaka.. What?"

Terasaka looked down, a pink flush of embarassment on his cheeks. He scowled. "Tch. It's not like I want to be sitting like this." Looking up, he shot a glare pointed towards the wall, aimed at no one in particular. "That damned tomato devil," He spat. "He set this all up."

Nagisa re-evaluated the situation. Terasaka was tied, ropes bounding his ankles tightly to the sides of the toilet and his arms which wrapped around the back of the toilet. Pants scrunched at the knees his classmate was locked securely in his throne, junk out in all its glory.

"Everyone knows I get here at 7:30 sharp on April Fool's. Goddamn him, he really did me in." Terasaka muttered. Nagisa waited for his explanation but didn't take so much as a step into the classroom. He could admit he wanted to learn how he had ended up in that state, but the small boy was still very horrified. He didn't know what other traps lay out for him in this room. That, and the stink.

Terasaka kept going. "He must've added something in my food or somethin'. Now that I think about it, yesterday I left my water bottle in my cubby during Phys. Ed. and Karma said he'd get it for me, sayin' that he left his too." He cursed, shaking his arms in a futile attempt to get free. "DAMMIT, I should've known better than to trust that sociopath. That was eighteen hours ago... It was probably a prolonged laxative."

This time he shot his glare at Nagisa. The blue haired boy tried his best to look back into his eyes solemnly, but he came to realize that it's painfully difficult to take someone seriously when they're shitting in a classroom.

"I got here early, had an urge, and went to the bathroom. I thought I was safe 'cus it seemed like I was the only one there and the next thing I know I'm being ambushed from behind." Terasaka shuddered, and Nagisa felt cold sweat drip down his face. "He's a monster. He'd already disassembled the toilet before I got there and before I could react I was already tied. A second later and that son of a bitch's carrying this stupid fucking toilet-with me still on it-to the classroom and now I'm stuck here."

"And.." He stopped, and suddenly began shaking with overwhelming sadness. "And?" Nagisa furrowed his eyebrows, a little worried. What other evils was Terasaka victim to? He was scared to find out.

Terasaka let out a choked, disgruntled sob. "I still can't stop shitting. This toilet obviously doesn't flush either." He let out another yell. "FUCK. FUCK you, Karma. I don't care what you end up becomin' but I ain't hiring you as a plumber ever godammit."

Nagisa at that point wasn't listening. His blood was running cold. He could no longer look at his classroom as his haven anymore.

This, he realized. is a battle field.

He couldn't let himself be deceived. The classroom was empty but he knew-he just knew-some of his classmates were already here. Nagisa took another look at Terasaka's condition and shuddered. He knew Karma had already announced his presence, but who else was here? As assassins, the landmines they set would surely be well hidden. All of the desks and chairs suddenly looked more intimidating. The shadows cast on the wooden built room loomed over-head menacingly. The unseen traps, plans, and calculations everyone set up. Nagisa swallowed. They could be endless.

His disgust from the deplorable stench (courtesy of Terasaka's bowels) no longer clouded his mind. Nagisa glared, declaring a silent war to the peaceful classroom.

The casualties will be many. I have to do my best to survive.

It's not just Karma I have to look out for. It's everyone. That includes the teachers. I can't let myself trust Koro-sensei, Karasuma-sensei, or even Bitch-sensei today.

He was so caught up in his thoughts, he failed to notice Terasaka's small requests for help.

"Oi. Nagisa. Are you listening? Hey! Could you help a guy out here?"

His questions remained unheard, determination busy gleaming in Nagisa's sky colored eyes. He would take on whatever obstacles were thrown at him today. The toilet seemed to gleam in the morning light, encouraging him.

Nagisa grit his teeth. Bring it on.

This is war.

A/n: Hii I'm just writing this for fun. The ending might have been a little rough and cheesy. Originally this was going to be a massive one-shot, but I realized it'd be more fun and less stressed work for me if I made every chapter a prank instead of writing the story all in one go. Eventually, I might combine and connect them into one big chapter but for now here's what we have.

I had to delete this and republish it because I had to make some changes to this but I think they're fixed now.

Thanks for reading, please drop a review!