Hello, it's Mila here!
I know it's been a while.
Due to the situation in the world, I found myself stuck at home and I started to go crazy, so I decided to write this oneshot. It's AU to my other fanfic Cold Steele, basically, what would happen if Ana moved on first. To understand it you need too read three first chapters of that story, and this one is just something that came to my mind when stopped going to work. :(

It's a one-shot, so there's will be no update :) I won't leave you hanging.
Feel free to leave your opinions in the comment section down below, but first and foremost enjoy the read!

I wish you all to stay safe and healthy.
Mila

May 2016

Anastasia's POV

"Ana you have to finally come. I haven't seen you for so long." Kate smiled to the camera and I smiled at her. It was her daughter's third birthday. Ava was such a sweet kid, but I haven't been to Seattle for four years. The only time we saw each other was when they were in Boston.

"I'll think about it, Kate. Okay? I'm not sure if that's a good idea." I said quietly. I knew I could later go to see my Dad, so that could mean that I would kill two birds with one stone. It was silly of me that I haven't gone to Seattle for the past years. I wasn't banned from the city in any way. Nothing drew me back in there. I burned almost all the bridges behind me and that was the best decision I could've made.

"I thought you'd come last year." I nodded. She was right. I was hesitant, but eventually decided to skip it. I needed to process my mess back then and that was definitely too early to go back. Right now, I was seriously thinking about accepting her offer.

"I'm sorry, but you came here not so long after and that was fun." Kate laughed at the memory of my awkward invitation. It was the craziest and spontaneous thing I have ever done, and I broke all my mother's expectations concerning my wedding.

"It was. This year you two are coming! Bye!" She hung up before I said anything else. I quickly texted her, we'll see.

I polished my translation and ran it through the programme one more time and put it to rest for another two days before I can send the final version to the client. I closed my laptop and rubbed my eyes. I needed to apply artificial tears because my eyes were too dry. Too much on my plate recently. I thought about the conversation I had with Kate and I was seriously thinking if I wanted to be there. I wanted to see Ava and finally be an aunt to her, but I was worried if that wasn't going to be too much for me. Too many people at the same time. Fuck. That would mean I would see him. How would I explain that to Mick? NDA, you can't say a word about it, remember? I haven't felt that kind of stress for a year now. It was the past, I made peace with myself from the past. I was young, inexperienced and naïve. I let Christian Grey hurt me. I let him use me. It was partly my fault; I shouldn't have entered the relationship in the first place. Ana, stop. It wasn't your fault. He manipulated you, used you and left for nothing. He didn't deserve someone like you. Remember how happy you are now. It's all thanks to you and only you. It was hard to stop negative thoughts from paralysing me, but I felt the power when I managed to supress my self-pity. I could do that, and it was easier than ever. He can't hurt you now. You go, Ana. Just be your happy self. You know you can be. I believed that. There was no reason I shouldn't visit my best friend. The fact she was married to Christian Grey's brother was an inconvenience, but I treated Elliot as my close friend. He and Kate supported me as much as I could until I pushed them away from my life for a while when I was at my lowest point. They never gave up on me. I owe them a lot and I shared their happiness with all my soul.

I had painful memories from my relationship with Christian. Basically, I was just another stupid woman who fell for him. I still remember his voice when he told me I was nothing and worthless. It still hurt because I remembered that at the time, he wasn't nothing to me. It took me years to see through. A few months ago, I finally let him go off my mind for good. I saw myself for who I was. I wish I had done so sooner. I can still see the marks I left on my body and I'll have to leave with them forever, but they are a reminder of combatting that demon. It was the only way I knew to stop feeling the enormous mental pain. It wasn't healthy, I was destroying myself.

I checked my calendar and I knew I was able to go. I only wanted to ask if Mick was willing to go with me. He got on with Ray and that was the best view to observe. The first time they saw each other my Dad was a bit apprehensive. He never met any of my boyfriends. He was worried that I would be alone. I always told him that I was alone by choice which wasn't the truth. The point was that I didn't want to introduce him to any of my Doms. They weren't my boyfriends; I wasn't planning on to long-term relationship with any of them. All until I met Mick. Truth be told, I wasn't planning on that with him either, it kind of happened. It wasn't easy, but he was the first person who made me feel like myself from before I met Christian. He pushed me further than any man in my life and he did all of that because he loved me. I can't count how many times I threw something at him. I touched my collar lovingly, closed my eyes and relaxed.

I noticed it was another time I shouldn't have had a nap without a blanket. I was cold and I needed something to warm myself up a bit. It was late and Mick was about to be home soon. He confirmed it by a text, and I put the fish in an oven. I made myself a coffee and sipped it slowly in the living room. We had quite large coffee table and comfy couches. It was a perfect spot to play games with friends. I took a book, but I wasn't in a mood to read. I nervously checked the timer on my phone and the texts from Kate. I was excited and anxious at the same time. I decided to ask Mick if he wanted to come and if not, then I would also refuse. I finally heard the key in the door and kneeled near the entrance to greet him.

"Nice to be home, Little One." He helped me up and kissed me briefly on the lips.

"I missed you, but you're later than I thought. I'll get your dinner." He shook his head. He looked at the couch and noticed the blanket and a coffee.

"I'll get it and join you." I returned to my spot, but I couldn't focus on the words. I looked at Mick taking his food. "You want some?" I shook my head and raised my coffee. When he finished eating, he sat next to me and he noticed that I wasn't actually reading. I felt better when he was around. I lay my head on his lap and he stroked my hair. I purred with pleasure. It was so easy to feel loved when he was around. I felt safe and grinned happily.

"How was your day?"

"Good, although my eyes hurt, and I fell asleep. Kate called me on Messenger, and I saw the entire family."

"That's fantastic. How are they? How's Ava?" Mick and Kate hit it off immediately. He met her last year. Not long before we engaged.

"She's great. Kate invited us to Seattle next month, but I'm not sure if I want to go. I told her you'd be probably busy." I said innocently and Mick rolled his eyes.

"She called me around noon." I looked at him surprised. Wait, what? I should've expected that. She contacted him first before she even spoke to me. He noticed that and reassured me. "I told her, I need to talk to you first, because you'd be probably busy." He shook his head resigned. I laughed and remined myself that there was nothing wrong in the invitation itself. "So… I know I'll have time, I though we could go see Mr Steele. I'm sure he will regret if we miss the opportunity. Do you want to go?"

"Mick, have you already called him?" I said slightly irritated, but he shook his head.

"No, that was just an idea. Now I'm serious, do you want to go?" I shrugged. Part of me wanted, but the other part was afraid I wouldn't handle that very well. I'd never know if I never tried.

"Only if you're going with me." He kissed me to show his approval.

We confirmed that we'd come, and Kate praised Mick for convincing me although he did nothing. Elliot would pick us up from the airport and we'd spend a weekend together and then two more days with my father. I remembered that I needed to face myself and stop thinking about Seattle as a terrible place. Mick was trying to support me as much as he could, but I couldn't tell him exactly why I left. I told him as much as I could. It was hard for me to open up, but I did that when I decided I wanted to have a real relationship with him. I trusted him with some bits of my past and so did he.

"I wish we could have more time. The Washington State is beautiful." I said when we were on the plane.

"Maybe next year, we'll spend here a bit of the summer. We have no other weddings to attend. I see no new children around. I guess we could start planning our next year here, so you can show me around." He moved my hair to the back, and I thought about it. That seemed awesome. I was already excited.

"Yeah, not maybe. We're doing it."

"A week ago, you wanted to cancel the flight, now you can't wait to come here again. That's a change!" He noticed and I couldn't help myself. I held his hand.

"I haven't realised how much I miss home. It's where I grew up. I want to share it with you. It's the same as what we do with your family and all these embarrassing scenes from your life Jo tells ma about." His face reddened and I knew I won this round. I heard too many stories about his teenage years to treat him seriously at times. For such an intelligent man, it was truly incredible he could be so stupid.

"I sometimes wish you didn't get along with your mother-in-law so well."

"You don't mean it. She adores me."

"Of course, she does." The flight was long and exhausting, but I was glad that I wasn't alone. Elliot was waiting for us and I was exhausted after over six hours on a plane. Elliot was one of the best men I've ever met. He wasn't always the most responsible person, but it changed when his daughter came to the world. It was the second time Elliot genuinely fell in love and his pride of his child was always there. The ride was great. Elliot filled us with latest news about the family, except for Christian. They knew we went out once or twice and that was it. They were oblivious to the story. Kate mentioned once that he withdrew even more, and that they hardly see him anymore.

"Something big is up if we are here, Kate's parents and yours. What is it?" Elliot kept his mouth shut, which was tricky, yet it had to be good, because he was smiling.

"You'll see for yourself. Kate is ecstatic that you two are finally here. You have no idea how much we missed you around." My cheeks were slightly red, and Mick petted me behind my ear as a joke. I pushed his hand away slightly annoyed.

"Can't wait." A few minutes later we were there. We only had carry-ons, so it was convenient and light for both of us. Elliot offered to take my suitcase and Mick followed him to the house. I spent a while alone and looked around the lovely green neighbourhood. I though I'd go for a walk when I settle. I haven't been to this part of the suburbs before.

I entered the house and immediately heard Kate's voice, she was in the kitchen area with Elliot, Ava, Mick and someone else.

"Ava is so adorable…" Mick started

"and messy." Kate finished and helped her daughter out. I walked over and Kate, but she took a step back because her hands were all in Ava's food.

"You look great, marriage suits you." Kate… it wasn't it.

"Right, because, when one gets married, they stop being themselves." Mick joked and kissed me.

"It's not what I meant. I haven't seen you so relaxed in years." I shrugged. I guess I found the balance, after therapy and my long journey of accepting who I was.

"Thank you. Then I guess I should say that being a mother suits you, Katie." She grumbled and Elliot laughed.

"Right, because once you're a mother, you stop being a woman." Elliot retorted and we all burst in laughter.

"God, I missed that. Well, I'm going to be a mother again soon, so maybe it is changing me more that I thought." I stood there dumfounded. Kate, the last person anyone would never believe that she would eventually settle down had announced she was expecting her second child. I should learn by now that life has a way of surprising us. I hadn't expected to settle down for a very long time, but life surprised me, but children weren't in the picture right now.

"Congratulations! That's fantastic." Kate and I were totally different, but I loved her and wished her all the best in life. She was a good person and she deserved it. She was doing her best as a mother and she was thriving at her job at Seattle Times. She was my woman. I had a great respect for her.

"I know. Everyone's coming tonight and we're honoured you're here with us as well, as family." I was moved by her words I was almost crying. These weren't bad tears, just the opposite.

"Now I look like a mess." I was overly emotional at moments like these. Kate showed us around the house and in the meantime, Elliot took Ava. The house was spacious, but it was tasteful and homey. It was designed by their friend and built by Elliot's company. I offered to help them with the food.

"No need. Mia and Ethan will be here in a while. Get some rest. They'll be here around eight, so you've got plenty of time." I showered and dried my hair. I thought about applying make-up but decided to do that before the dinner. I put comfortable clothes and I made Mick go out with me for a walk.

"Did Kate tell you about the baby?"

"No, but it's great to see them again. We haven't seen them since our wedding." I sighed. That was correct. It would be a year in September. That was such a great day. I remember my Dad's face when Mick asked him for my hand and brought him to Boston a month after that. He pulled me back from my thoughts. "I hope these are happy memories." He pulled me close. Public displays of affection didn't use to by my thing until I understood that even that could be tasteful. There was nothing repellent in two people holding hands or hugging in public. The problem started when people started to eat their mouths without a care in the world. We would never do that. Pacific Northwest was different than Northeast and I always felt here better than in Boston. I felt at peace and as if I were where I should.

"Very happy. Maybe a bit spoiled by mother complaining about not having a long wedding gown about not having 'a proper venue,' God, she was too much for us." The memory of my mother's complaints was engraved in his mind forever. I love my mother deeply, but there are simply things we'll never agree on. Besides, she got married four times, she had her own experience. I wasn't planning on getting married more than once. I guess most people start with that assumption. Our wedding was an intimate ceremony with only immediate family, plus Kate with Elliot and our mutual friends Josh and Paula. It was our day and it was perfect.

"Carla can be overwhelming, but she came to her senses and that's all that matters. Ray was perfectly happy on the other hand, except for the interest of my brothers' kids." Ray liked children. He didn't like crowds, but he had soft spot for children and he always regretted he couldn't have their own, that's why he saw me as a blessing and the best part of relationship with Mum.

"Nah, he loved them. He can't wait to have grandchildren." I laughed and touched my belly. Mick's hand was on mine and he smiled briefly.

"Right. I thought about my parents. They're waiting only for us now." They were going to wait for a bit more. It was harder with PCOS, but not impossible. Right now, I didn't feel mentally ready for it and it would take months, but we wanted to be parents eventually.

"That's fine. We're good anyway. I love you." I poked his arm and he pretended to be offended. He didn't hide his amusement.

"Seattle brings out the bratty side of you." He mocked me. I stopped and crossed my arms.

"Me? You can't be serious."

"Yeah, because I'm standing with crossed arms and pouting in the street. Not bratty at all." To prove his point, he pulled my hair and I snarled.

"I love that you know how to be quiet when needed." He whispered to my ear and I buried my face in his chest.

"I didn't do anything bad. I don't know what you're talking about." I joked again. I liked being in such proximity to him, but I was conscious we were outside. We walked for about half an hour when we decided to go back. Elliot let us in, but we disappeared from the sight. I heard other female voice. Probably Mia Grey, Elliot's sister. That meant Ethan was there as well. He helped me a lot when I had no one to talk to. On the way to our room, I noticed an older blonde woman playing with Ava. It had to be Elliot's mother because I knew Diane Kavanagh very well. I decided to stop by to say hello and spend some time with the child.

"Mick go in first and I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Love you." He kissed me on the cheek, and I knocked to the open door.

"Ana! Ana!" Ava rushed to me and Grace was trying to place me.

"You must be Kate's friend. Pleasure to finally meet you. I'm Grace." She had such a soothing voice. She was in her sixties but looked fantastic for her age.

"I heard a lot about you dr Trevelyan. It's a huge pleasure to finally meet you."

"Pleasure is all mine."

"Your son always said you're the angel of the family." I bit my tongue the moment after I spoke the words out loud. It was Christian who said that. I hoped Elliot would say something similar about his mother, because I knew he was close with all his family as much as he could. I took a deep breath and smiled at Grace who was looking suspiciously at me. I was screwed. I needed to put it on the right tracks. She knew it was her other son's words, not Elliot's. "Elliot speaks very highly of you." I saw she relaxed and that I appeased her a bit. She never found out about the fact I was involved with her middle son. I wasn't going to change that. It was something I wanted to keep hidden forever. Elliot and Kate tried to hook me up with him, but the official version was that it simply didn't work out. Elliot mentioned briefly in the car that Christian would probably ditch them. He's been distancing himself from the family lately and they were slowly getting tired with the constant rejection on his behalf. I knew how much it hurt them. I sympathised with them because no one else but me knew exactly how ruthless he could be. I was glad it was all behind me. I had to go and change, so I left Ava with her grandma. It was too warm, and I needed another shower. Even in Washington there were sometimes hot days. I looked at the clothes I took with me and opted for a plain midi grey dress. I liked simplicity. The only jewellery I wore except for my collar were silver studs in my ears, a wedding ring and a watch on a stainless-steel bracelet. It all looked good and I could wear it almost for almost any occasion. I remembered to put on some make up to add myself a bit of colour. The effect was a bit stronger than I planned but purple and grey looked good on my eyes. My skin was paler than in the past, but it felt right. Mick looked great in dark blue trousers and a light cream shirt. Mick held me in his arms and smiled at the final effect in the mirror.

"Perfect." I stopped myself from kissing him because my lipstick needed a few minutes to set. It was strong enough to make it through the dinner. When we came to the main room, there were at least five more people. Ethan waved at me and I nodded at Mia. I was crushed in a hug by Diane Kavanagh and Mick was already busy in talking with Kate's dad.

"I missed you so much, Ana. Congratulations for your marriage."

"Thanks, Mrs Kavanagh. Sorry, Mrs Mum." I said as she Kate used to call my mother in jokes. She asked me about my life in Boston and I told her about my job as an interpreter in Spanish and French. I moved from translating conferences to private meetings and some of my translation jobs. I recently took up Italian again, but it still wasn't the level I aimed for, but I was motivated to get a C1 certificate at the end of this year. A language is power, and it gave more opportunities in life. Learning a language was one of the first things which taught me discipline.

"You have to come more often and maybe Eamon and I will see you in Boston." I agreed because it seemed like a great idea.

I got Ava on my lap for another minute when she was taken from me by Mia. Ava loved her auntie and I could see why. I haven't thought I'd feel so great with the Greys. I joined Mick who spoke with Grace and Carrick.

"Ana, did you know that Mr Grey was in Georgetown with my Dad?" I raised my eyebrows at the memory of Mick's parents.

"What a small world." It was almost the time for Ava to blow out the candles. Kate was sure everyone was present, but then the last person entered the room. Christian…

Christian's POV

I didn't know why I agreed to do this. Well, Grace was very tenacious in her attempts. She said they would pick me up like a teenager if I didn't come on my own. I spent most of my time alone and every year I put more distance between me and my family. I didn't fit in there and I didn't think it was right to be around them at this point. Elliot came around and stopped fucking around. He grew up and settled down, Mia was finally acting like an adult. Her business was doing great. She used to train to become a chef, but her experience with events made her return to school for a while and currently she organises weddings. When she was younger, she used to be a bit spoiled, but luckily, she grew out of that. The only thing that didn't change was me. I saw so many changes in people's lives, but my own was boring. Work stopped giving me the right dose of adrenaline. I lived my company and I hardly saw anything else at the moment. The women had come and gone. I lost the count. If I needed, I could look that up in their files, but only two of them managed to keep my interest for a longer while. Both of them were long gone and that was for the best.

Elliot greeted me and let me in. He wasn't especially happy to see me… or maybe he was. He was relieved, so yes, I was still part of this family.

"I thought you wouldn't come. Finally, Ava is literally about to blow out the candles." I came to the main space and saw the Kavanaghs and the Greys. Even my grandparents were there. I saw Ava in Mia's arms, but next to her stood Anastasia. I didn't expect to see her here. What the fuck was she doing? I was trying to remember about her contract, but it struck me she was best friend with Elliot's wife, Kate. They even set us up together. I was shocked to see her, but I knew I had no control over their relationship. I was safe from them Anastasia wouldn't dare to violate her NDA. She was well aware of the consequences. I looked at her carefully and she was even more beautiful than I remembered. She was thinner a bit and her hair was longer. She was chatting casually with my sister and played with my niece and seemed so carefree and relaxed. I've never forgotten about her. I thought I could move on after she was gone, but I couldn't do that entirely. All the other women weren't like her and I never committed myself fully to anyone after her. There was time when I only took short term arrangements in order to avoid any emotional connection. I never wanted to risk any other woman to fall for me. They deserved better than that. Ana gave me a glimpse of hope for more, but we never made it real. I was her first. I knew her better than anyone else.

She was perfect, but then I noticed a necklace on her neck. She wore a fucking collar.

No way.

She was mine. I didn't know why I felt that possessive. Logically, I knew that wasn't true. I still remember how things fell apart. Leila and her suicide attempt killed something inside Anastasia and it was all downhill from there. Eventually, she was like one of the others, so I ended things between us.

"What is she doing here?" I asked Elliot before we reached the others.

"It's Ana. Kate's friend."

"I know who she is, I don't get what is she doing here. I thought it was supposed to be a family event." I cut my ties with her entirely four years ago. I haven't heard from her or seen her for so long. Elliot was already irritated with me. I thought he wouldn't comment on that, but he did.

"Ana is a family and you can act politely for the time being, is that clear?" I shrugged. I didn't care as long as I was sure my ex submissive wasn't interacting too much with my family. She shouldn't be here. I didn't want her around anyone of my family. She should disappear. When she finally acknowledged my presence, her face fell. She took a few deep breaths and returned to playing with Ava as if nothing happened. A few minutes later Ava blew her candles and announced to everyone present "I'll have a baby sister."

"Or a brother." Kate added. Everyone cuddled Ava except for me. I couldn't bother to be touched by anyone. My haphephobia became worse over the years and there were days it was unbearable.

I ate with all the family, but remained a bit detached from them. My focus was on Ms Steele and the man who was with her. I did my best not to show that I know her, but Anastasia didn't seem to even care I was there. She was engaged in conversation with the guy next to her and my father. Elliot was all focused on his daughter. I talked to Mr Kavanagh about our recent cooperation, but he was mostly focused on being a proud grandfather. When I met him years ago, I thought he was just like me, but it turned out I was wrong. It was amazing to see that soft side of him.

When everyone moved from the table back to the living area, I noticed that Anastasia said something to the man and went alone outside the house. She took a jacket and sat comfortably on the stairs with a cup of tea. I saw that everyone was busy, so I decided to join her. Her eyes were closed, and she listened to the sounds of nature. I could she was exhausted, she never liked being around large groups of people. As an introvert, she preferred silence and time alone. I hesitated to talk to her. I saw how her face fell when she saw me. I couldn't blame her. I will never forget the words I told her and how I broke her heart. I told her she was nothing, that she was worthless which weren't true, but I thought I was doing the right thing by cutting ties with her. I regretted that a few months later, but she was already gone. I thought that was for the best that she ran at the time. She knew who I was.

"I didn't expect I'd see you again Ms Steele, but I have to say you have the nerve to show yourself with my family." Anastasia opened her eyes and looked at me calmly. There was something different about her, yet very familiar.

"Nice to see you too, Mr Grey. Enjoying your time?" Her voice was soft but hesitant.

"Very much. I'm surprised to see you here, but I remember you're friends with Katherine." She just nodded but didn't seem to pay attention to what I was saying. It was an impossible situation. It was the last place I would expect to see her.

"Yes, I haven't seen them for almost a year." Elliot never mentioned he was also friends with her. Well, I never asked for her which could be one of the reasons I didn't know about it.

"We haven't seen each other for four years." I said and immediately regretted these words.

"Mr Grey, did you only come here to hurt me? If so, leave me alone please, because you're not going to ruin my evening." Her voice was still soft, but I felt a subtle change. She didn't raise it, but I knew she wasn't taking any bullshit right now.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like this. It's great to see you happy, Ms Steele. I'm serious about it."

"Thanks. It's no longer Steele though." She said and I noticed two rings on her fingers. That guy was her husband. She's no longer yours, Grey. Suck it up.

"Oh, congratulations." She stood up to return to the house, but I stopped her. "Ana, I thought you'd be angry with me. I thought you'd tell me to go to hell." I admitted to her. Instead of anger I heard something that made me want to puke right there. Although her voice was very quiet, I could precisely hear the words she spoke.

"I wanted to do that for years, Christian. You have no idea what you've done to me. How much I suffered after what you put me through. You'll never know how many times I cried myself to sleep, but now it doesn't matter. It's gone. I didn't realise until now, how important it was for me to come here. I love…" she paused and looked at me again "how irrelevant you are to me. You're nothing now and I'm glad I came here to finally forget about you." She smiled and left me alone. For the first time in years I was hurt. I observed them for a while, but I felt it that it was truly too late.

Yay, here we are. Let me know if you enjoyed it and I send you best wishes :)
Cheers
Mila