All My Broken Pieces Are Painted On The Wall
"Love, there is violence in this fall."
She winced and shuddered, choking back a sob. Carefully, she wrapped the bandages around her arm, the white fabric turning crimson from her wound. It stung, and try as she might to put on a brave face, she felt herself fall apart once more.
How many times had this been? How any failures of her affection? How many of his violent refusals? How many times had she annoyed him to such lengths? How many times had she found herself in this same position, picking up the pieces of her shattered heart, hoping that one day he would accept them? The questions swirled in her mind, each like a weight, the burden of which cracking at her facade until she could do nothing but break down, the tears flowing free.
'He didn't mean it' she thought to herself. Only, even now, the words felt hollow. Even now, she didn't believe those words, the same words she's say to herself over and over again as a sort of chant or prayer. Doubt crept in, or was it realization?
'How many times could he have "not meant it"' she thought to herself. She knew him, knew of his past, his hardships. Why wouldn't she? She loved him dearly. She knew of the pain he felt. He knew the why as to why he acted this way. They were the same. Weren't they? They were both outcasts, they both had no one, they were both broken. 'But why does he not accept me'
By this point, she had broken down, unable to hold herself back. She sobbed openly, the task at hand forgotten, the bandages all but discarded as not only her hands but her whole body shook violently. She needed him, so why didn't he need her? They were both alone. They both had no one. She wasn't tortured as he, but even without a broken body, she still felt the loneliness he felt. But, that's not true was it? Her body was broken. Not by some Noxian authorities, not by a jailer, or torturer, but by him. By Veigar.
They weren't the same, she realized. And that broke her, shattered her heart. For all that she tried, all of her feelings, it was all for naught. They weren't the same. How could they be? She was a child who was led away into the Glade by her own foolishness, despite all the stories her gran would tell her, she still followed the Fae. She was tricked, and rightfully so. She found herself alone in a new world. She was scared and lonely, but still oh so immature to the world. But he...he was not.
He was tricked, made out to take the fall of a deal went wrong. He was curious, and he paid the price for it, and oh what a steep price it was. He learned of the darkness this world had to hold, its ugly and horrid violence, and had been stained by it. He learned, what it meant to be hurt, and how to hurt others. That is why he chose the path he did. His loneliness, his madness, was not something that could be cured with friendship, but only quenched with rage and violence, revenge, power, wrath. That is what he was. A monster. And only now she would admit it.
A solemn sobriety washed her away. She couldn't hold the remnants of her heart, the pieces too small, too numerous. How many pieces had she lost? How many pieces remained left? As she exhaled, more than just breath left her limp body. Dull eyes falling on her mangled arm, deep gashes from where Veigar's sharp gauntleted fingers dug into her flesh when he gripped her tightly, gripped her out of anger.
Slowly, without so much as making a sound, she begun to wrap her arm once more. There wasn't any pain. Just as there were no more tears. What stained her cheeks were the last of them. She had lost so much that day. How long had it been? How many centuries? Since she ventured into the Glade. Since she inadvertently walked away from all she ever knew and all she ever loved. And for her own foolishness, this was the lesson she learned. And for her childishness, this was the price she had paid.
And now, healing could begin. It was time to move on.
A/N - Something short to get back into writing. More to come, but when I'm not sure. Planning new stories, as well as bringing back old ones that were abandoned. Take care.