Death and other circumstances
Author's Note: This was planned to be a crossover with Ghost but actually I now stick to inspired by it because the end product is more different than I expected. Anyway I hope you enjoy it and you are not too mad that I killed someone.
In this story I tried a different style of writing, so be lenient, please. It is just an experiment...
Comments are always welcome!
I'm sooooo curious what you think.
Thanks for betaing to mianmaru!
Disclaimer: As always I only owe the words written and my interpretation of the Ghost-story. No intention to steal or make money with this, even though it would be nice. :)
Summery: "Get yourself together, DiNozzo. I'm not going to take your shit anymore." Gibbs said and his gaze pierced my mind.
My DeathThe last day of my life started like most do lately. I got up with a mighty hangover and stumbled into the shower. The face that greeted me from the foggy mirror as I left the warm spray was worn down and in need of a good shaving.
I didn't like the way I looked but couldn't help it. I couldn't stay away from the drinks nor from the women I hooked up with and dumped as soon as the fun was finished.
I ignored the signs. I just gave in and wasted every second of my life.
At this point I didn't know why I was doing what I did. I just felt the urgent need to flee, to get lost in the lulling feeling of alcohol and leaving my life outside the door of the next bar or club.
I groaned deeply as I moved my neck in front of the mirror. I knew in brief sober moments that I was going to die if I went on like this but I actually didn't care.
After I dressed like a decent human being I headed towards the yard. Towards a new day of corpses, reports and head slaps.
Just in time for the opening elevator doors, I glued my trademark smile onto my face and walked into the bullpen. It was empty except for Gibbs at his desk.
"DiNozzo, where have you been? We have a new case!" Gibbs barked without looking up and I suddenly realized that I hadn't switched my phone back on after last night's woman. I was sure her name was Sindy, Candy, Sandy... anyway something with a y.
I turned on my phone while Gibbs glared at me over the monitor on his desk.
"Never be unreachable! Next time you are out of my team." Gibbs growled and I was surprised how little I cared about this threat. My phone started to beep, showing me several notifications about missed calls and unread messages.
"So what did I miss?" I asked, my smile still glued in place. Gibbs eyed me for long torchering moments while I desperately hoped he wouldn't see through my mask.
"Stolen top-secret missiles, several dead Marines, some injured." Gibbs grunted. He threw a case file onto my desk as I was about to tuck away my badge and gun.
"What?" I cried out in total surprise. I had expected a homicide or maybe a murder but not a case of national security. Gibbs had already walked up a part of the stairs and into the direction of MTAC.
"Get yourself together, DiNozzo. I'm not going to take your shit anymore." Gibbs said and his gaze pierced my mind. It wasn't anger, it was way worse. It was resignation.
I felt bail rise to my throat and forced out a small "Yes, Boss!". I sat at my desk thinking about the encounter seconds ago and fear creeped up my spine. Gibbs was way too calm, way too uninterested in my misbehaviour. He should have been outraged, threatened, violent. I mean, I just missed the start of a pretty important investigation. National security and so on. I felt like he had given up on me and I couldn't help but be scared to the bones.
I read the case file.
Two new short-track missiles for test and training purposes were stolen on their way to Naval Air Station Patuxent River. Unknowns had shot a tire of the truck transporting the missiles, forcing it to stop. Four Marines were shot, the rest got strikes to their heads.
I read the details of the attack.
It was a street out nowhere of Maryland. A hill on one side, good position for a sniper to shoot the tire and some Marines. On the other, there had been some bushes and behind that pasture, ideal to hide and good to overview from the hill.
As always first questions conquered my mind.
Why were some of them shot, others just beaten? How did they know the truck would come this way? How did they even know about it? Who needs missiles?
"Tony." McGee said kind of surprised next to me. "I thought you would be dead by now. Considering Gibbs' mood as we couldn't reach you." He sat down behind his desk, looking at me with pure interest.
"Actually I was surprised, too." It felt like I did a poor job in hiding my current emotional state but Tim just shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "You are a lucky man today!"
I subtly breathed in deep. Thank god my mask was solid.
"So fill me in, probie. What have you got?" I smiled at McGee and he started to spill all the details.
"The witnesses told us it was a group of four or five plus the sniper. After the flat tire, the driver of the truck and the security agent were about to change it as the guards got executed. The attackers spoke fluent english, so we think they were no foreigners. Anyway the driver and agent got a strike to the head and got unconscious. The attackers transhipped the missiles and vanished. That's basically it till now."
I leaned back and thought about the facts. Something bothered me but I couldn't quite grab it.
"Who was the security agent?" I asked as McGee was already absorbed in his computer.
"That would be me, Tony." A familiar voice answered and as I turned to see where it was coming from I spotted Stan Burley behind me on the stairs. A warm feeling spread in my body.
"Stan! So good to see you!" I exclaimed as he came down and towards my desk. We hugged briefly.
"Same here!" He answered as we let go and I eyed the dressing on his head. A bit of blood had leaked through the linon and stained it dark red.
"Are you able to work?" I inquired.
"Sure thing. I need to get the bastards!" Stan returned with a smile. Gibbs walked by and my gut turned into knots as I saw him touching Stan's arm while he passed. Burley gave him a short smile and turned his attention back to me.
"Are you sure you are able to work? You look awful, man!" He scrutinized me and I felt in the spotlight. Gibbs' gaze didn't help either. Perfect, now I had two scrutinizing pairs of eyes on me.
"Of Course! Don't let the frontside fool you." I winked and Burley smiled broadly.
"Good then let's start!" Stan looked around as if he was more than eager to begin.
I couldn't help but hate him. I hated the way he was so energetic even after he was just beaten just a few hours ago. I hated the way he and Gibbs dealt with each other, so close and nearly loving. I hated the way Gibbs looked at him. This was a gaze I wouldn't earn in years. I hated the way he got along with McGee and Cait. I hated all of this. Damn this guy, damn all of them.
The day went on way too slowly for my liking. It was filled with research and following small traces, waiting for the forensic reports and the infos Ducky had for us. It felt the time stretch endlessly and from minute to minute I had more trouble ignoring the good chemistry between them. I longed for a drink and the soft and warm skin of a woman under my hands.
I saw Burley flirt with Cait and joke around with McGee and more than once the little touches and smiles between him and Gibbs.
At the end of the day, I was just plain furious. This guy needed to go.
From time to time I snapped at him or just growled about some of his ideas and plans. It was unfair and I knew it. But how are you supposed to be fair if a man is everything you always wanted to be.
And soon enough Cait waited for me at the snack machine.
"Tony, what's wrong with you?" She snapped and I could see her eyes sparkle.
"Nothing." I answered as calmly as possible. How should I explain to her that I was plain jealous of this jerk.
"You know one could think you are jealous of Stan." Cait crossed her arms in front of her chest and I jumped slightly. I always forgot she was such a damn good profiler.
"I'm not." I denied as I tipped some random numbers with a bit too much force into the machine. She focused on me as I fed it my money and I was sure there was more to come.
"Tony," Her voice was soft now and caused uneasiness within me. "Something is wrong with you. I can see it, god, all of us can see it. Let me help you. Let me in and we find a way." Her hazel eyes rested on me, open and sincere.
I was about to give in but how could I have told her something I didn't know. I looked at her, feeling the sadness creeping up my spine and slowly conquering my mind.
"I wish I could. I wish you could but no one can help me." I bent down to get my random snack and then dropped a kiss to her forehead as I passed her. It was an alarming sign that she let me do this and if I wouldn't have been so occupied with the fucking mess in my head it would have scared the shit out of me.
As I came back to the bullpen, the energy in the room had completely changed. McGee was tipping his keys in a frantic pace and Gibbs was running up and down talking to someone on the phone. Stan was staring at the plasma screen between McGee's and my desk. His eyes narrowed and his forehead in wrinkles. My first thought was; he looked pissed but before I could explore that further he turned to Tim and told him to raise the price.
I looked at the screen as Cait joined me. On it were several windows open. One showed a website for unique russian dolls for auctioning. One showed some of Tim's weird programming languages and another a tracing program.
"What-" I was just about to ask as Gibbs rushed back to us and said, "FBI gave us a tip. The missiles are about to be sold."
He turned to Stan and I couldn't hold back a small sigh. Stan, why was it always Stan… Cait watched me shortly and then joined the rest.
"Op is authorised. We have no limit."
"What's the plan?" Cait asked. I felt outcast as I saw the others standing in front of me. They were a functioning unit and it seemed as if I just wasn't needed.
"We buy the dolls." Burly drew quotes in the air as he illustrated the plan to Cait. "And then arrest the dirtbags at delivery."
"Undercover action." I said excited into their backs. All three looked at me as if they had totally forgotten about my existence and the, so familiar, sickness deep in my stomach made me hesitate for a second.
"Yeah. I'll do the trade." Stan looked at Gibbs and got a nod in response.
"But they could recognize you." Cait argued. "Tony should go instead." I got the impression Cait did this not only to save the op but also to help me and I was kind of touched.
"She is right Stan but I'm not sure DiNozzo can handle it. McGee you go." The whitening face of Tim nearly let me forget to protest. A smile tugged on my lips, while my mind was ignoring the pain Gibbs' words caused.
"Boss, I can handle it." My voice was low but determined. "I have to make some reparations anyway for today." Gibbs eyed me closely. I damned the fact that I wasn't able to read him even a bit.
"Fine, DiNozzo. That's your last chance."
It's still funny how right he would be with this sentence.
To make a long story at least a bit shorter…
I found myself freshly shaved and in one of my fanciest suits right in front of a man in his fourtees. He looked as ordinary as most of our villains. Brown hair cut short, an expensive suit and given the bulge under his jacket, armed.
The old and abandoned factory site could have been a perfect set for the next action thriller. I smiled at him as my eyes wandered around to check if I could spot anyone else.
"Do you have the money?" He asked with a determined voice.
"Do you have the dolls?" I returned as planned. His eyes flickered towards one of the roll shutters nearby.
"I need to see the money, first." He smiled with a god given confidence. I opened the black leather case in my hand to let him see what he wanted.
"Fine." The guy was just about to turn as his phone rang. My gut turned into knots as he fished for it and read the caller-id. Something in his eyes said I was in trouble.
He answered the call, never letting me out of sight. He listened intensely while I wished for my gun.
Suddenly he got his weapon out and simply shot me.
I never would have expected my death to be this easy...
Two shots to my chest and I saw my blood soaking my fancy shirt. I didn't even feel pain at that moment. I was just too stunned.
It felt like hours till I sagged down to the floor. I saw my team running out of different hiding spots. I couldn't quite grab it. I couldn't die. Gibbs always made sure I didn't.
I saw Gibbs and Stan running towards the guy and suddenly a mighty fear conquered me fullforce. They shouldn't be here, they shouldn't be in mortal danger.
Stan shouted something and the guy pointed his gun towards him. For a split second I thought the guy looked more surprised than he should be.
I saw the gunfire the moment I hit the ground.
It is amazing how long someone is conscious while the blood is pumped out of the wound in his chest.
I felt the warmth seeping out of my body as Gibbs appeared next to me. He pressed his hands on my wound and for the first time I felt the pain. And all at once I was scared to the core. I grabbed his arm in a despaired attempt to hold on to something. I felt like I would fall and couldn't stop it.
"Stay calm, Tony. Help is on it's way. It will all be fine. Help is on it's way." Gibbs whispered as he took my hand in his. But the first time in my life I could read him. I could see it was over. He knew it was over.
I saw my chalk white hand in his bloody one. He bent down and cupped my cheek with his other hand. I was shaking. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Cait and Tim staring at me in utter disbelief. It seemed as if they weren't able to move at all.
"I'm sorry, Tony. I'm so sorry." He let his forehead rest on mine and I felt one hot drop on my cheekbone. It was his tear. The single one he spent for all. It was only one. Always.
I took a shaky breath as my lungs filled with blood.
"I don't want to die." I rasped out, feeling the blood seeping out of my mouth but his eyes gave me strength and calmed me down.
"You won't, Tony. Help is on it's way." He repeated but I knew they wouldn't be on time. I felt the last will to live slowly fading away, taking the fear and pain with it. I felt numb and boneless. If Gibbs wouldn't have held onto my hand for a dear life it would have fallen to the ground.
"Forgive me, boss. I will never be unreachable again. I swear." With my last strength I wiped a second tear away from his perplexed face and smiled.
"Don't you dare dieing, Tony. Do you hear me? Tony?!" His words echoed in my ears as I took one last shaky breath.
"Bye, Gibbs." And the last thing I saw in my lifetime were his icy blue eyes, glittering in the dim light of the fabric site.