Written for The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition
[Season 8] - Round 1
Team: Chudley Cannons
Position: Beater 1 - The Rebel- Goal: revolution OR Fear: no power
Sirius has no powers (he's a squib).
Prompts:
5. (emotion) hopeful
10. (object) love letter
Thanks to Fire The Canon, hannahsoapy, insertcleverandwittytitlehere and Queen Bookworm the First for betaing!
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27th of December.
That was today's date; the most important date in Sirius' life. It was the date the Potters had invited him into their life, three years prior. Sirius had been kicked out of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black at eleven years old when they discovered that he lacked magical abilities. He had lived on the streets until, one day, he ran into James, Peter, and Remus. Or, well, to be more accurate, he had stolen their bag. Unluckily, Mr Potter had used a tracking spell to find it. Luckily, he had decided to give Sirius a chance for a real family.
27th of December was also the anniversary of when Sirius and Remus got together. Or, Sirius intended it to be.
He hadn't technically asked Remus to be his boyfriend yet, but was hoping it would happen. They had been sharing glances and lingering touches long enough during the holidays, and that one time they sneaked Sirius into Hogwarts despite his status as a Squib. The adventure had been one of the best in Sirius' life. He finally felt like a real Marauder, and that only contributed to his growing attraction for Remus.
It saddened Sirius he could only see Remus and the others a few weeks every year. He couldn't help feeling jealous when they sent letters about all the things they learned and all the pranks they pulled. It wasn't only of their magic, but also their friendship. But that would end soon. They would graduate shortly, and were all going to share a flat.
Sirius folded the love letter after reading it one last time. He would give it to Remus before midnight. Butterflies grew in his stomach as he thought of Remus kissing him when he found out about Sirius' feelings.
He checked the time. Remus and Peter would arrive at ten. He jumped downstairs to wait in front of the fireplace. Sirius had been baking brownies that morning (because Remus loved chocolate) and had gone to his bedroom just to check one last time if the letter was perfect.
Finally, Remus stepped through the fireplace and immediately went to give Sirius the biggest hug ever. Sirius happily wrapped his arms around him as well. It had been way too long since they had last seen each other.
"Merlin, I missed you," Remus mumbled against his shoulder.
Sirius blushed slightly. "Missed you too, Moony."
It felt perfect being in Remus' arms; yet, of course, James had to come and ruin it. Though, as Remus hugged James, and Peter as he arrived a few moments later, Sirius happily noted his hug had been longer and tighter.
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Sirius could stare at Remus eating chocolate all day long. Surely he purposely looked so charming when biting into the brownie and afterwards licking his lips. He barely even noticed James and Peter sitting next to them.
"They're so good," Remus said, and smiled, his teeth speckled with brownie crumbs.
Sirius grinned. Remus was incredibly adorable. "Brilliant. When we live together, I can bring some home from the bakery every day."
In the three years Sirius had lived with the Potters, he had discovered a great delight in baking, and had been working at a bakery for a few months now. He had baked hundreds of different cakes; chocolate, chocolate pie, chocolate muffins… a few non-chocolate goods too, but he liked sending them to Remus for taste-testing.
Remus looked straight at him, taking Sirius' breath away. "Please do."
Sirius didn't answer, blushing, and thinking of the love letter in his pocket. How could he get Remus alone to give it to him?
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Sirius stared down at Remus as he laid on top of him. Yes, he had been faking his ice-skating skills a little bit so Remus would help him, but he hadn't planned on falling onto the love of his life.
Remus' cheeks were slightly red, and Sirius could only dream it was because of their position, and not the cold. His own cheeks were certainly red due to the position.
As much as he would have loved to stay and stare into Remus' eyes, it probably wasn't the best idea. Sirius scrambled to his feet, and almost fell again because of his haste. Luckily Remus just grabbed him.
Sirius blushed further. "Sorry, Rem. So sorry."
"It's alright. Honest. I'm a little sore, but that's what happens." Remus didn't remove his arms from around Sirius.
"No, it's not. Come, I'll buy you hot chocolate." He reluctantly got out of Remus' grip, and instead grabbed his hand to lead the way towards the hot chocolate stand. Though Remus ended up leading, instead of the other way around.
Soon the boys were sitting next to each other, watching the other people ice skating. James sent Sirius a rather obvious wink.
Sirius moved his gaze towards Remus, who warmed his hands on the cup and smelled the beverage. This setting was romantic, right? He decided that it was, then put his hand in his pocket to make sure the letter was there.
It was best to not drag it out. He hadn't given the letter when James and Peter had left them alone in the kitchen while eating the brownies. He hadn't given the letter when they were paired up in the snowball fight. He had had many opportunities but still hadn't done it. And so, he had decided to not think and just do it. Which, really, was how he usually did things.
"So… uhm, do you ever think about the future, and where we'll be in like… thirty years?"
Remus raised his eyebrow (looking adorable as he did) and shrugged. "I don't know. It's scary to think about so I try not to, but I hope I'll still be friends with all of you." Remus looked away as he said the last part, hopefully hiding a blush.
Sirius grinned. Remus wanted him to be part of his life in the future! "I know we will." He placed his hand on Remus' knee. "I have something I want to talk with you about, actually—"
"Oh, God. Sirius is that you?"
He and Remus both turned towards the sound of a shrieking girl. Oh no. There, along with all her friends, stood Michelle Becca. Without a doubt the prettiest and most popular girl from the school he had gone to when he moved in with the Potters.
She had had a major crush on Sirius before he left. To be fair, she was a nice girl. Smart and kind towards everyone. The only problem was she hadn't wanted to just be friends and Sirius had his heart set on someone else.
"Oh. Hi Michelle. How are you doing?"
For some reason, she took this as an invitation to abandon her friends and sit with Sirius and Remus instead. He patiently answered all her questions about how he was doing since he left school, and what he was 'up to these days'.
It wasn't that he didn't want to talk with her, but he could be talking to Remus instead.
Finally, she ran out of questions about Sirius, who also ran out of answers. He thought she would finally leave them alone so he could give the letter to Remus, but she had one more question.
"So… Sirius, have you changed your mind about us, or…?" She placed her hand on his chest. Sirius gently brushed it away.
"I'm interested in someone else."
"You are?" That was the first time Remus had spoken since Michelle had shown up. She suddenly stared at Remus with hungry eyes. Before Sirius had time to do anything at all, Michelle spoke up.
"And who are you?"
Sirius recognized the lust in her eyes. "He's Remus. And he's taken. We better go, by the way. Dinner and all. I'll see you around, Michelle."
He dragged Remus over to return the ice skates, but Remus stopped as soon as they were out of earshot from Michelle, who looked rather shocked.
"What was that for? Why'd you say I was taken?"
Sirius cursed himself for reacting the way he did, but there was no way Michelle would ask his Remus out, especially because he would be too polite to decline.
"I just… she's very… and, I just didn't want her to think you were interested. Trust me, it's easier like that." There was way no way Remus would like a simple muggle like her. Though he suddenly felt ill as realization hit him. Shaking his head, Sirius tried making the bad feeling go away.
Remus didn't say anything and that was worse than yelling.
James and Peter saw they were leaving and returned their ice skates as well. As they walked home, James and Peter walked ahead, which left Sirius and Remus alone.
"I'm sorry," Sirius blurted, unable to take the silence any longer. "I didn't mean to drag you away like that. If you're interested in her, I could give a call and hook you two up." Though the thought left him nauseous.
Remus shook his head and smiled wryly. "It's okay, it's just that… who is it that you're interested in?"
You. Remus, I love you because you're the most amazing person on this planet and I wanna spend every second of the day with you and every second of the night in your arms. You're the one I'm interested in. It's you.
"No one."
"You can tell me," he said slowly. "I need to know who I should beat up in case someone tries to hurt you." Remus chuckled, and Sirius suddenly forgot about everything else in the world.
He was still in a daze when they reached the house. James and Peter were already there. Sirius frowned when he got inside. The house was completely silent. No sound from the kitchen could be heard. No footsteps. Nothing.
The light in the living room was turned off, and Sirius flicked the switch. The exact moment the light was on, Sirius started because James, Peter, and his adoptive parents had all jumped up from behind the couch, set off small fireworks with their wands and shouted: "Surprise!."
A big grin glued itself to Sirius' face. The living room was decorated in red and gold balloons, streamers and confetti. There was a delicious feast with all his favourite foods, and there even was a cake, also in red and gold.
"Happy Found-You-Day," his dad said, and everyone else chimed in.
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They had been celebrating for hours. Eating the feast and the cake (which was chocolate) but also playing different kinds of games. Sirius even managed to win a few of them despite them all cheating at some point using their wands.
It wasn't until Mum suggested they went to bed that Sirius realized he had forgotten something crucially important.
The letter.
He checked the time, only to find it was past midnight. The happiness he had been feeling earlier burst like a balloon.
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Sirius couldn't cry. He could only shiver in the cold, and wonder why he hadn't brought a jacket. The edge of the rooftop was such a perfect place because he could see the sunset and it was a place in which he could get away.
But there was no sunset now, and the cold was making him feel numb. His fingers were wrapped around the letter. The cold had frozen his fingers and he couldn't move at all.
Why did it have to be so complicated? All he had wanted was to confess his love for Remus on the anniversary of the day they met. Just one simple thing. Though deep down, Sirius knew Remus deserved better than him. Someone amazing. Someone magical.
Speaking of the devil; Remus peeked outside through the window below Sirius. He climbed onto the roof and sat next to Sirius. Then cast a spell which stopped the wind, wrapped a blanket around Sirius, and used a heating charm on it.
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Remus spoke.
"Is everything okay?"
The words 'I'm fine' almost rolled off his tongue, but Sirius stopped himself. "No." He hesitated before continuing. "I wanted to do something yesterday to make it extra special, but I didn't have enough time."
"If you do it today, there will be two special days in a row, and in some way, that'll also be extra special." Remus paused, or rather hesitated, and blushed as he uttered the next sentence. "It will be special. I know it will because everything you do is spectacular. You're the most amazing person I know. There's something special about you."
Sirius slowly glanced towards him. He reached his still cold hand towards Remus, who, ever so slowly, opened his tight grip to take the letter out. They stared at each other for a few moments as Sirius retracted his hand, then finally, nodded, and Remus read the letter.
He didn't remove his eyes from Remus as the other boy's eyes scanned it, afraid of his reaction. But the blush on his cheeks deepened as it went on, and at last, he put it down.
He had never looked more adorable. Remus' face was completely red, and he grinned nervously as he tried to form a sentence. "Yes. I mean I wanna… I want to, you know." Remus made eye contact with Sirius, then smiled shyly. "I like-I love you too. I wanted to… on New Year's Eve. I wanted to kiss you at midnight, but we can do it now if you want..."
That was his cue. Sirius jumped at Remus, almost causing him to fall off the roof and wrapped his arms around him tighter than he ever had before. Remus happily returned the favour.
The 28th of December, 2.30 am.
That was today's date; one of the most important dates in Sirius' life. That was the date he and Remus got together.
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Dear Remus,
I wanted to tell you myself, but I have trouble keeping my thoughts still - especially when they're about you. (I have rewritten this like six times already).
You are my favourite person ever. I don't think I have ever studied anything as closely as I have studied you. Not even homework. When you read, your face scrunches up when something bad happens, but it also lights up when something good happens, and sometimes I can even spot a smile on your lips. You're kind to everyone. You put the world before yourself even though it hasn't been nice to you. You find something good in everyone and every time I'm around you I wanna be a better version of myself.
Just thinking about you makes my day better, and even though I'm scared all of this will go away when I tell you the truth, I can't live with myself knowing I never tried. So here goes nothing.
I love you and I wanna be your boyfriend.
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Word count: 2493