(Post Game) (Any Route except Azure Moon)
Requested by my girlfriend, as in "best boy with best girl". Felix is my favourite and Lysithea is hers. She wanted tragedy, so this fic is set in any route, post war (so post game), except Azure Moon (because in it Felix becomes the next Duke Fraldarius, and it's not happening here).
Their support is adorable, in case you haven't done it. They are both cutie pies, so it works. (Though Felix is more like a feral cat that you need to warm up to to realize it's actually the sweetest. I can't help it, baka, I'm absolutely not weak against tsunderes.)
Lemon and lime are to be expected but this one might need more build up to it, so... I think this may mean it will have a few chapters. I think slow burns are satisfying, though, as in to not lose my interest, and the one of readers like me, this will still be short in a way, albeit longer than some of my other work.
Like usual I try my best to stay in character so, here.
Enjoy!
o0o0o0o
The war was officially over, but things would take a while to settle down. The newly unified Fodlan would still see numerous conflicts, but at least, this time, peace was really in sight.
A man like Felix Hugo Fraldarius would lose his purpose quite fast in this new world. Sure, warriors and mercenaries would always be needed, but not as much. He had dedicated his whole life to the sword, rejecting his former allegiance, his family and all his noble titles. He was a man with only one call, one passion, and nothing else mattered.
After the armies he had fought alongside disbanded, he refused to lose this purpose. This could not end here, no, he was still young, still able, and his favourite sword was still sharp. Was there no place for him now? Of course, with his contacts, he could have cut himself a nice place in this new world as a proeminent figure but... that was not what he wanted. Maybe that's what his father might have wished but again... that old man was no more, just like Faerghus. Just like everything else.
" Come with me " Sylvain had offered. " Please. I don't want to have to hear about a nameless swordmaster passing in a foreign land, and guess this was probably you. "
Of course, that tall ginger had to stuck his nose into his business.
" I'll pass. I'm not one that care for romance or a boring quiet life. You go get married to a girl, I'll follow where my blade will lead me. " Felix had replied.
If Sylvain could not stop him, it looked like nobody could do it. Dimitri might have been able to, but the King of Delusion was no more, and he had died, lost in his own darkness, never settling things out.
Now it was as if the former Fraldarius heir was now broken beyond redemption, and nothing was holding him back. His thirst for battle was his only obsession, and even if his bloodlust never equalled that of monsters like the Death Knight, it was still something that threatened to consume him whole.
It was inevitably a death wish. It would take only one wrong move, and he would die.
Felix himself did not seemed aware of his quest being borderline suicidal, either that or he discared any care to give. He was a lone wolf, a solitary warrior, feared and praised, and often underestimated, which he took to his advantage. He got hired by anyone who had gold to spare, routing bandits, facing thieves, clashing with other mercenaries... He even accepted to aid some former nobles trying one last desperate attempt to turn things in their favour before their hopes got crushed. Any job was a good job, if his blade could still drink some blood, and slice flesh.
It looked like there was nothing preventing him from losing his humanity somewhere in the close future. All until that day... where some strange fate awaited him in a peaceful corner of Fodlan.
Felix had been jobless for a while now, and he had been going from small town to small town in the former Leicester territory, trying to earn some gold. He had seen better days, and he was in need of a good meal, and some grooming too. He entered this small peaceful place, not very hopeful to find people in need that could use his service as a swordmaster. While wandering into the markets, he used his last remaining gold to buy some jerky and some bread. Another fruitless moon like that and he might be done for.
As he walked through less travelled pathways through some woods, he spotted a silhouette in the distance. Long white hair...
He don't know why he did it, but he walked towards it, and when the woman turned, he instantly recognized her face.
" Lysithea?... "
She was the same as he last saw her at the end of the unification war, albeith she wore pretty modest clothes. She took a moment to look at him, but after a few moments, she finally saw him under the unkept beard .
" Felix... "
She walked to him gently, but he sure noticed she din't had as much energy as she used to. She got close to him and smiled.
" ... You look terrible. I almost din't recognized you. "
" Business is not especially good for mercenaries at the moment. "
" No kidding. It's peaceful here, very much so. This is why we live here. "
" We? "
" My parents and I. "
He looked over, seeing a very modest home in the distance. A peaceful secluded life, that's what she chose.
" Well, I guess that answers it. There's no place for me here. I should be on my way. "
" Wait! "
He turned around, looking at her in the eyes. He could still see that fire that had always been inside of her in her gaze. This brough memories back... memories he thought long forgotten.
" Need anything, Lysithea? "
He would not mind helping her. He never hated her, quite the opposite.
" No, but you look like you could use a bath and a meal. We have enough for you. "
" I might be needed elsewhere... "
" No you won't. These parts are particularly peaceful, and you clearly don't have the strenght to travel far enough. Let me at least offer you a meal and a good night sleep. "
He sighed but then smiled.
" ... Alright. I see no reason to refuse that. Especially if you have some of your cakes. You know I could not eat any sweets baked by any other person. "
" Stubborn as ever... but I'm glad you grew some common sense too. "
Lysithea lead the way, and he followed her through the woods to her modest home. Her parents were there, still in decent shape, enjoying their lives. The house was small and well kept, and they had a little garden on the back, lined with some flower bushes.
Purple flowers... the same color as that veil he remember she wore in her hair all the time. There, as he thought his days at Garreg Mach were long gone, he was flooded with memories.
" You know, you smell pretty bad. You should wash first. My mother is taking care of some laundry now, maybe I can ask her if she can wash your clothes. I'll see if I can have you wear one of my father's shirt in the meantime. "
And then, just like that, she took charge of him. He would try to protest but she soon gave him a death glare, and he din't felt like having a ball of miasma hurled at his face. It took some time, but he was able to clean himself and take a warm bath, then, he got a small blade to shave. His hair was pretty long too, but he din't mind it, planning on just tucking it out of the way after it dried. Like the young woman had predicted, her parents were generous enough to help, and this felt heartwarming and humbling. He had forgotten about this kind of feeling.
" I thank you for your hospitality " he told them, sincere.
" You were a classmate of Lysithea at the monastery, are you not? This is simply natural, young man. We owe this peace to people like you who fought for it, just like our daughter did. "
The former lord and lady of house Ordelia were simple people, people that were worth protecting. He smiled, this was making the efforts put in that war all worth it.
" Felix is a former citizen of Faerghus, we were not in the same class at first, but we joined the same side during the war. "
" Oh really? We are sorry for the Holy Kingdom, the fate that befell it was... uncalled for. "
" Don't worry about it, I have no ties with it anymore. I'm just a travelling swordsman. "
The young man was grateful for Lysithea not outing him as former nobility. House Fraldarius was not just any small noble house, it had been the highest ranking family in the kingdom after the royal line for generations. He also was one of the few alive that still possessed a major crest.
Lysithea was smiling, a rare sight. Felix did caught himself looking at her. He remembered fondly when her face lit up... as he told her for the first time that her cakes were delicious. All those memories coming back in.
Just like that, he was stuck on a chair for the whole evening, talking and exchanging with Lysithea and her parents. He never thought he could become this kind of person, but the hardships he got through made him a bit more open. Then, mother and daughter offered everyone some food, followed with some cake. A light, delicious, and not overly sweet kind of cake.
" I remember this taste... " he murmured.
He din't noticed her smiling and blushing as he took another bite of his slice.
Later that night, he sat outside, watching the sun set. His clothes were hung to dry still, so escaping into the dark was not an option that crossed his mind. Lysithea's parents were already in bed and he was simply enjoying some time alone.
Alone until a mug of hot tea was presented to him. He watched as Lysithea sat at his side. She looked peaceful. She was never like that before... always crazed and stressed about her studies and her achievements. What changed her?
" The last thing I expected when I came here was to cross paths with you. I told myself seeing former classmates might happen but I never imagined it would be you. "
" Sorry it was only me "
" Only you? Oh please. It's not like I hate you or something. If you would had been Lorenz, I might had not invited you over. "
He raised an eyebrow, not impressed, taking a sip of tea. It tasted like flowers, as expected of her, but it was, again, not overly sweet.
" I din't thought I'd find you hidden somewhere in some woods " he added, speaking his mind. " You're a pretty gifted mage, you also mastered healing magic, you could have found a higher place in this new world. Why din't you? "
He could sense he stepped on something, but it was hard to tell what it was. She looked down.
" ... I simply wanted to, you know... have quiet times. "
He was not convinced. But he din't pry.
" We have our vegetables, our flowers... we sell and trade them for anything else we need. Sometimes I do use healing magic to help people in town... but it's pretty quiet. You won't find anyone to cross blades with here. "
He took another sip of tea.
" That's a shame. My blade's growing dull " he added. " With this war ending, the opportunity to hone my skills are fewer than ever. It's like I'm losing my purpose. "
" That's pretty selfish. "
He sighed.
" You're right, I'm craven. I should not be complaining about that. This peace is what Fodlan deserved. "
Oh, he did mean it with all his heart, b he was still sad as a warrior. He well knew it was better that way. One man's loss of purpose was nothing compared to all the lives that could be spared by unifying the land.
" You're not. You're just... you've always been like that. Nothing changed you, I guess. "
He chuckled.
" You wished I had changed? "
" Maybe "
He looked at her, and he could tell she was serious. Yet, he could not put his finger on why.
" Hmf. Sorry to disapoint. But I can't deny my own nature. "
" Aren't you afraid to die? "
He looked at her in the eyes.
" What a strange question. We fought side by side in a war, we risqued our lives every single day. "
" I mean now. "
What was with her? Did she consort with Sylvain or something?
" No. "
" But me, I am. "
" You, afraid to die? "
" You're surprised? "
" A little bit. Why? "
She bit her lower lip.
" ... Because I might not have much time left. "
Felix looked at her, not knowing what to say. What does she mean by that? Was she sick? Was someone threatening her?
She caught the confusion on his face so she elaborated.
" Felix I... I always had a short life expectancy. Things happened to me... when I was a child. That... that gave me those great powers I have, these abilities are not... were not supposed to be natural. House Ordelia was always fated to die with me. And I could leave my parents behind at any moment. "
The fact that she explained it with sadness in her voice, not anger, frustration or anything of the sort, made Felix feel the full weight of the revelation. Might he had heard that when they were teenager he might have scoffed but...
" I'm sorry. "
He looked down, looking at his cup of tea as the light was growing dim in the woods.
" You don't have to. This is not something you were aware of. And it's not something anyone, not even my parent's, could control. They were forced through that. I told myself after the war that... well, if I was still alive, this was my last chance to have a peaceful life with them. So we left everything behind save for a few essentials and came here. "
He din't knew what to say, he really din't. This was harsh, and he sure was not in any place to comment on her choices, not after he had done his.
" This must feel pretty mundane for you, who'se used to killing " she added.
He finished his cup of tea in one gulp.
" No, of course not. Fighting in a war or against lawless thugs is not the same. They chose to do what they were doing, it was a risk they accepted, they had it coming. You... You are saying you had no control over that. I don't kill innocent people. I don't believe in senseless killing. "
She crossed her arms.
" Yet you are bringing death with you, as if you wished it for the world or yourself. "
" It's not about dying, Lysithea. Quite the opposite. I never feel more alive than when I am fighting. "
The true soul of a swordmaster.
" Then why not join the guard of some lord, or become a knight, so you could spar as much as you like, without the threat of death looming every day? "
He sighed.
" It's not the same. "
" And what about the risk of underestimating an opponent, missing an opening or get the tables turned on you? What if it gets you killed one day? You just accepts that as part of the risks? "
" I do. "
It was so dark, he could not see her face well, so her emotion was hard to discern, but the annoyance that was so characteristic of her was back in her voice.
" ... "
They stood there in an awkward silence for a couple of minutes. The sun by that time had completely set and they were in total darkness, save for the few lamps and candles still alight in the house next to them.
He remembered when Sylvain had try to make him renounce his newfound purpose. Nothing the ginger said had been able to scratch his resolve, and that man had always meant a great deal to Felix, just like Dimitri and Ingrid. They used to be so close... but yet... this war... all of that has caused the Fraldarius heir to distance himself from everyone. Even himself.
Yet, Lysithea's words had cut through his armour as if he had none.
" ... You know... " he started.
She din't made a sound, but after a moment, he heard a gentle " Yes " emanating from her, so he continued.
" ... I was a child when the tragedy of Duscur happened. I was not there of course, but my older brother was. A knight of Faerghus, a shining heir with a crest and a bright future. "
" I never knew you had a brother. "
" No, because he died that day, protecting Dimitri. That's why the boar became so depraved, it broke him. And in a way, it broke me too. My father took pride in my brother's death, 'He died like a true Knight'... I could never forget his words. I could never... forgive them all. "
He felt her hand on his shoulder as he continued.
" I don't believe in knighthood, or in honor. I only know strenght. All my life, I was focused on that, and that alone. And everyone around me were too busy mourning the dead for me to focus on anything else. I guess that day was really the one when the kingdom died, King Lambert took the true crown with him into his grave. "
" Felix... "
" Power is what kept on protecting the people of Fodlan, it is also what unified the realm and brought us this peace, a lasting peace. What I have is what was needed... but now, I am losing my purpose. To me, dying can't be worse than that, yet, I don't know why but I keep going. It would be ironic to thank the Goddess for that. "
He smiled but she could not see it.
" Well, I agree with your earlier statement... I'm selfish. I must sound pretty depraved to you now. That reminds me when I saw Dimitri's other face... I hated him for it, I resented him, I feared him. But in truth... I understood, it just took me time to accept it. But that, I was never able to let him know. "
Her grip on his shoulder tightened. She had to add something to this.
" And I was subject to blood experiments. I bear two crests, one that was not naturally my own. All of that for the sake of power, that power you see as something good. For me, power did not save us. It caused us to have the need to fight, so we could build something better on the ashes of the old world's order. "
" ... that's pretty horrible, blood experiments... "
" What you went through was also horrible. It's not about who had it worse, you know. All our struggles shaped us, they all left a mark just the same. "
" You're right. But even then, our views differ drastically. "
She din't answer on the spot, removing her hand from his shoulder, collecting her thoughts.
" ... I guess you are right. But... "
" But? "
" ... But that does not mean we have to let what shaped us control us still. You can place your sword in its scabbard for a while, and I can stop being a mage and bake cakes for my parents. That does not mean we have to forget or deny that part of us. That only mean we can take a moment to breathe. Watching the sunset tonight won't mean the sun will not soon rise. "
She was right. He was tired, he really was. Those last few moons had been more about chasing after potential trouble than actually getting himself in the midst of action. There had been days where no food was available, others when he had to sleep on stones. At first he thought this was worth it but... the more he went forward... the farther his goals seemed to go. He was thinking of going to some foreign land, Almyra perhaps, or Dagda or Brigid...
" Felix I... "
She snapped him out of his thoughts.
" I know this is a lot to ask " she started " But... please. Consider laying down your sword... at least for a spell. It's... I find it very nice to see you. I've missed you. I don't care if it's a few days or a few moons but please... stay awhile. Get some rest. I... I would like you to stay. There's nothing more to it than just that. "
He sighed.
" Are you trying to have me agreeing to this so you can convince me later to lay my sword for good? Because you would not be the first one, and they all failed. "
" No, I will not try that. And I can even promise you I won't brush the subject again. I just... I just want to see you. I want to spend some time with you... bake for you... and laugh with you. You're... you're my friend, no? I'd love a friend, even for a short while. "
He sighed. She was playing that card against him, wasn't she? It was so visible it would hurt to not see it coming. She was probably lying too, as she showed earlier just how much this subject of death was sensitive for her. But here he was, considering accepting her offer. Why, Felix, why? This is just some person you used to know. Why even bother to listen to these honeyed words? Empty promises, that's what it was, with a generous coating of emotionnal manipulation. She definitly was using the time they spent together at the monastery to her own advantage and it was annoying.
It should have pissed him off. It was easy to do like he usually did ; turning his back on the person in front of him. He turned his back on his father after he lost Glenn, then he turned his back on Dimitri, and lastly... he turned his back on Sylvain. Lysithea was not even the hardest one to refuse to let back into his life, she was easy even, wasn't she? She was not special, she never was, she never could be. He should be breaking her heart and crushing her hopes without waiting, that would be most efficient and least bothersome for everyone involved. That was easy. The solution was there.
It would only take a minute, maybe two. Just that.
But he was some delusionnal idiot. He always thought of himself better than anyone, first at swordplay... then, aparently, in everything in life he encountered. But this was foolish, childish even, and completely unbecoming of the person he once knew he was.
When did it happen? When did she slipped under his armour? It was not on this day, no, she had been doing so since way before... and he never realized.
Go on Felix, protect yourself, refuse. Refuse her, reject everything she represents.
" Lysithea I... "
It's easy. One more spat of venom. You've gotten pretty good at it.
" ... Alright... I'll stay a while but, I am making no promises to you. If I decide I leave, I leave. And I don't care if this pleases you or not. I am not doing that for you. I'm exhausted, on that, you were right. "
Of course you're staying for her, idiot. And she probably saw right through you and guessed it. Not amount of dry sarcasm will prevent her from knowing you have a heart now.
Ah Felix. What is there to be done with yourself?