1. nice
There's a simple enough tactic, she tells him, to getting people to listen, and it's got nothing to do with being sentimental more than using sentimentality to get one's way, and that he would do well to keep this in mind.
2. tap
It's second-nature to assume all conversations will be bugged, so she chooses her words with care.
3. roses
When it comes to smuggling the wine into Paradis, the Garrison turn out to be the most reliable; after all, nobody would suspect such an act of insubordination to come from them.
4. gagged
He shows Yelena what's left of his leg, admits with bluntness rather than pride that he did it himself with his belt and a hunting knife, then adds he had to chew on said belt to keep himself quiet.
5. noisy
Returning with faux-triumph from the ocean, the freshly-graduating cadets as well as civilians take to observing him and the rest of the Scouting Regiment in awed tones; Eren's never liked being the object of attention.
6. cat
He professes once about the stray that he would see occasionally as a child, before Shiganshina was lost — an ugly, ornery thing that had attacked him and Armin once they'd tried helping it — and without flinching, Yelena tells him that if it were up to her, she'd have wrung its neck for daring to try.
7. blunder
His first mistake is attempting to treat her as an equal soldier, asking her to spar with him on his off-time — all the power in the world settles in her hands, and she corrects him with a level of impunity she hasn't used in years — then, to her disbelief, he grins up at her through his broken nose and a fine haze of steam, and tells her she throws a mean punch.
8. cough
During the Winter the Walls are rebuilt, Armin develops a hacking cough that troubles him through the season, while Eren does not — Mikasa seems relieved to fret over someone else, and Eren pretends not to notice the way they've grown to confide in each other more so than him.
9. tender
Despite Eren's frequent and vehement expressions of misgivings towards the enemy country, Yelena initially marks him as too sentimental for the ruthless, war-ending soldier he aims to be.
10. kickass
For all Yelena's idealism and veracity, too often Eren sees the mirror-image of another girl that talked of playing soldier and refused to compromise — and with that familiarity comes a distant sense of disappointment he cannot put a name to.
11. serious
The conviction in his green eyes is what thrills her to the very edge of control — but he's practised stoicism well enough that she keeps herself in check, and it's the reason she invites him to confer with Floche and the others whenever he is available.
12. neglect
"How's Mikasa?" she asks once, to test his resolve, and Eren's response is quick, cagey: "She's training with Captain Levi and Jean to become Squad Leader; I don't want to get in the way."
13. sway(ing)
From the top of the wall Eren catches sight of the miniscule formation of horses and carts, flags the colour of pine dancing in the breeze; the fifty-ninth expedition is under way, and he is not about to partake in it, leaving a hollow feeling in his gut he tries to drown out that evening with alcohol, then decides he may as well see how fast he grows a limb back.
14. comedian
The day he wakes up in the infirmary bed with a cast around his leg, Captain Levi has little else to say than, I can't wait to hear the story behind this one, Four-Eyes — and when Commander Hanji professes that she didn't ask him to amputate his own leg, and Eren grudgingly admits he didn't want to worry Mikasa with his eyes on the bedsheets and his voice low, the Captain scoffs: I've performed enough amputations in my day, just ask me next time — then, when Hanji leaves them be, he stops and adds, in a different tone — lucky for you, Hanji's told me your blood evaporates too quickly for you to clean, otherwise I'd've had you scrubbing your cell, with or without your leg — and he doesn't smile exactly, but the thought causes Eren to feel something resembling amusement for the first time in months.
15. shadow boxing
He catches up with Yelena during off-hours and watches her practise, admitting he misses sparring already given his handicapped state — she ignores him for the most part, but does not dismiss him.
16. incredible
His leg grows back within a week — an agonising process that gives way to several sleepless nights and reminds him too much of his lack of control — but at least the Commander is happy.
17. mundane
As it turns out, Eren doesn't have much in the way of conversation topics besides revenge, sparring matches, or planning the months and years out in advance, the latter which is an ambiguous and aimless proposition; Yelena tries to hide her disappointment.
18. guide
She's lucky enough to incur the favour of the Queen, who provides her fellow soldiers humble quarters and a chance to see what change they've brought to the harbour; Onyankopon especially seems to get along with Arlert, which, as far as Yelena is concerned, gives her more time to plan ahead as Zeke would undoubtedly have done in her stead.
19. submerge
The deeper he falls into past lives pulled effortlessly from his skin and the Queen's fingertips, the less Eren recognises himself in the mirror, and more than once hallucinates a shift in his reflection, eyes a shade of grey rather than green, the lines on his face more pronounced, until he blinks and the image is right again.
20. sidekick
Out of all the Anti-Marley soldiers, it's Floche Forster who proves to be an invaluable asset to Yelena's aims; for he is no leader, only hungry for the title and the power that it exudes, easy to provoke into action with a little camaraderie from her friends and intel on the world his fellow Scouts simply would not provide.
21. hip
It takes an average of seven strikes to ground Eren once his leg grows back and he invites her to spar for old time's sake — she makes a shackle of her thighs and presses her weight onto him with hips alone, watching his brow crease and eyes flutter, guilt giving way to something far more brusque, impatient, but she doesn't bite and he doesn't ask.
22. collared
Another time he catches her staring at his throat, and upon his enquiring, she only responds that if he asks again she'll give him something to remember; rather than blenching or asking for clarification, he just rolls his shoulders, says, you can try, and this is when she realises his intent.
23. wallet
Once, for the sake of making alliances, she and Armin Arlert talk briefly of the produce brought into circulation by the world beyond the Walls, a topic which intrigues him far more than her — she is nonetheless pleased to think about the prosperity this level of trade will bring back home.
24. roll
The year Eren turns eighteen, he asks her if she's ever tried the local bakery up in Trost, offering to bring her and her friends some in a rare moment of genuine amicability.
25. hands
His hands are always warm, not-quite weathered thanks to his inherited abilities, whereas her cold handshakes usually surprise the recipient.
26. jacket
His old Regiment jacket, by now, is growing threadbare on him, but he wears it all the same — Yelena never asks why.
27. global warfare
Eren's words and eyes betray a starvation for knowledge that reminds her of Arlert, though Arlert is far more diplomatic than Eren, who concerns himself fervently with the recent developments with the Titan Society and the back-and-forth struggle between Eldia and Marley — and more pressingly, the fate of those nameless men and women trapped within the flawless white panopticon.
28. crazy
Your eyes are a bit like a shark's, Eren tells her once, and doesn't flinch or cower when she looks right back; she isn't used to this steadfast behaviour from anybody.
29. indulgent
He tells her not to worry about leaving bruises, because he's always been a quick healer — so she shrugs out of her own jacket, baring her throat, and tells him to try and leave a mark on her this time — he does not succeed.
30. party
"Welcome to the new revolution, Jaeger," she tells him, wondering what he will think of being branded as their namesake.
31. cry
He confesses to her, once, under the influence of alcohol, that sometimes, whether or not he's asleep or able to help it, he is plagued by memories from a past life — lately, it's his aunt, only a child, screaming as she's torn apart by dogs — the memory isn't his to know, but he can smell it, almost taste the ash of the cigarette he didn't light and the rich wet-earth — and Yelena doesn't understand why he's confessing to her until his eyes glisten and he tells her that he's sorry for what the Marley have done, that he wishes he didn't understand; the next morning he is reserved, and does not speak of it again.
32. pound of flesh
Eren can feel a strange tingling in his once-amputated leg that wasn't there last year, and he contemplates swallowing pride, taking up Captain Levi's assistance, but he's sure Mikasa would be slow to forgive him and that's not something he wants to deal with right now on top of everything else.
33. punch
He can take a punch or several without complaint, leaving bruises rather than drawing blood; often he encourages Yelena to go all out, and she's happy to comply if only to see his eyes come alive again.
34. absorb
There are times when Eren looks at her and thinks she must thrive off of all his pent-up frustration, take it into her body and turn it physical; what he does is no different, seeking her out with the promise of injury and the satisfaction of having earned that pain, able to control himself enough not to explode on a whim.
35. stiff
He doesn't often smile when he's happy, but she remembers the cloud lifting from his eyes when they caught sight of one another across the pier, more-often when they spar.
36. contract
He kisses the same way he fights; steady, not as brusque as she'd like (but no one really is), yet quick to overtake her unless she ends it finitely.
37. stumbling
When it comes to anything further than kissing, it is as if they are children again, pursuing innocence where circumstances have denied them the opportunity to remain so.
38. encounter
He is slow to admit his interest in her until she pins him down and interrogates him outright— we've gotten closer, haven't we? — and he grunts his agreement, so she leans in close enough she can see his pupils dilate — have you ever thought about fucking me? — and Eren looks surprised, but it passes in a blink or two, and his rejoinder is terse — d'you want to get all your visitation privileges revoked, because that's definitely going to happen — and she kisses him with teeth.
39. temple
The church of the Walls has been the subject of much interest by tourists; a twisted perversion on God that revolts Yelena as much as it intrigues her, this poor-man's imitation that has been passed down for decades, perhaps, faith curdled by ignorance.
40. patio
Summer is balmy that year; upon the patio of some higher-up's estate, in the interest of reconnaissance, Yelena, Onyankopon and Commanders Pixis and Hanji converse about the nature of the outside world and the promise of an on-coming war this Autumn while freshly-minted soldiers stand guard, lacking the rigidity seen in those from Rose or Maria.
41. candlelight
Many a night, she writes to Zeke by the faltering light of a wick, wondering what he would think of his half-brother if he were to see him now.
42. stripes
The whitish lines are set deep into Eren's cheekbones, down his chin and throat, spanning his back in webs; Yelena does not offer him the same knowledge of herself.
43. foul
To calm his nerves, Eren takes up drinking, though he cannot bring himself to enjoy the taste.
44. hurdle
Zeke's answers by letter are seldom inspiring, because every word shared between them is scoured over by the Marley first; meanwhile, Eren is showing up less and less to meetings.
45. chances
"Where did you see yourself, five years from now?" Yelena asks him once, and after a pause, Eren tells her that, if not for Ymir's curse, he supposed he'd be dead by now, or a Captain in the Scouting Regiment; he sounds half-ashamed of himself, and she doesn't see fit to correct him.
46. forgotten
While Eren is careful to never black out or throw up while drinking, he cannot bring himself to enjoy the buzzing sensation, reminded of another man that always smelt of alcohol, his face difficult to distinguish in mind's eye after so many years.
47. unforgivable
"Mikasa isn't talking to me anymore," he admits, after several days of avoidance, while Yelena looks to him with not an ounce of sympathy.
48. sinking
It's possible, she concludes, to become infatuated with an ideology as well as the person espousing it; revenge is their mutual vice, and they will surely drown in it before this war is over.
49. deal
"Keep yourself sober," she says, "and I'll help you get to Marley without anyone else meddling."
50. friendship
Yelena is not one to consider friendship as a word in her vocabulary, but Eren has stuck around this long and she's reminded occasionally of his brother's conviction; but at least, with Eren, there is certainty in his presence, and less room for a wounded heart.