This is a random drabble that got stuck in my head and I needed to get it out. I fixed it, considering I'm going to make it into a full story.

I own nothing but this story. The characters aren't mine.

Enjoy and until next time!

"Just as entorpy is the basic law of the universe, so it is the basic law of life to struggle against entropy."

-Vaclav Havel

"I win." Cat says victoriously as she pushes the wooden bishop. She laughs and looks at Spencer, but he does not find the situation funny. And just like that, she sees it. The last straw, Spencer Reid is about to show her what kind of a man he was three years ago. Before she even realizes what is happening, Spencer already shuts his apartment door, pushing his bookcase in front it, blocking the entrance and exit. He looks at her, anger clearly visible. "My turn to play the game, and this time I make the rules." he replies coldly, ignoring Luke's pounding on the door, begging to let him in. Cat's face lits up with a sadistic grin, she is enjoying this. "So, let's play."

He paces around the apartment for a moment, trying to peace himself. Luke's cries to let him in are still heard, but Spencer continues to ignore him. Cat watches him intriguingly. Reid finally calms down. He weighs his options and the mistake he just made. What has he done, he asks himself as he sits down on the green sofa. His eyes never leave her's. After a while he speaks. "You've won. Finally you have achieved what you wanted dearly. And yet I have to ask you... Was it worth it? All of this..." he gestures around him, his voice is filled with pain "Was it worth it to watch me break piece by piece, until there was nothing left? Was it worth it sending me to prison, turning me into something I am not?! Was it worth it to watch me die?!"

He stands up, his finger is pointing at her and she no longer finds the situation funny. She isn't frightened. On one hand she knows he wouldn't hurt her, but on the other... This Spencer Reid is unpredictable, who knows what he's capable of. He is unhinged and acting like a maniac. His finger still pointing at her, he continues. "In truth, you've won a long time ago, long before this, long before you kidnapped my mother, long before prison. You've won the day you sent Lindsay to drug me. That was the day you won... I lost ten years because of you! Of all the pain I've endured, I never went back. Oh how I wanted to, you have no idea how I wanted to. But I stopped myself before it got to far. There were instances when I already bought it... but I stopped myself from going further. You took that away from me!" Cat looks at him with a hint of pity, he truly is lost. But she won't let it slip, she has to strike back. "I may have drugged you, but I sure as hell didn't make you do that. You could have fought it and you know it. You didn't have to make the second round but you did. So this..." she points at the crook of his elbow "is on you, not me." She feels slightly bad at doing this, but in truth she must win. She must be better than him.

Reid looked at her, slightly shaking his head. "You know what the funny thing is? That I really thought about it, where it all went wrong. Every incident, every case chipped a piece of me away and prison was the last piece. After I watched Luis die in front of me... I wanted to hurt them, I wanted to hurt you." his eyes watered with unshed tears "I had a million options to get me out of that situation, I could have handled it like I did Shaw, but I didn't. Because with Shaw I was protecting myself, but with Frazier and Duerson I was killing them. I knew exactly what I had to do to cause the most painful death. And I remember how scared and angry I felt. I accepted it... in the end, what awaited me. I knew I was going to die and I was fine with it. Spencer Reid died that day." he looked at her, he wanted to see if it affected her. If only a little, he wanted to see a shred of humanity. But he saw none. Her cold gaze pierced his skin, a hint of enjoyment was seen behind her glazed features. Without a warning, she finally spoke.

"So I was right." she chuckled "You crossed the line and now you can't go back! Now I don't know why you thought self-medicating would be a good idea, but I guess it doesn't matter." she stood up and walked towards him, sitting on the couch, right next to him, leaning on him. She has to use this situation to her advantage. She must use him. Her voice is masked over with pity and pain. "I just wanted to see you, making sure you didn't forget me. Because let's face it, in a few months I'll be dead. But don't worry, your secret will go down with me." she looked at him and smiled. Her face was no longer sad and pitiful. Her eyes glimmered with the victory that would await her. All she had to do, was push the domino. Set everything in motion.

"I don't mean the drugs, I mean the fact that we are the same, you and I. We are both murderers, whether you like to admit it or not. And I'm not talking about your prison fiasco or you trying to kill me three years ago. Because let's face it, you were trapped and the latter was PTSD... and hate. I kinda did deserve that." she chuckled, he eyed her, feeling more annoyed by the minute. What was she playing at. Did she try to get him to react violently again? "I'm talking about something that happened before..."

Reid stood up lifting his hand. He knew where this was going. He knew what memory she tried to bring up. And that memory must stay buried. "Stop, Cat just stop! Enough, we're not doing this." but Cat ignored him, she had him. She was this close to the finish line. All he had to do, was say it. "This is your game, telling everything is your rule. You started this, so let's finish it! Let the world know your deepest secret, your darkest regret... But first I need for you to admit something. Don't worry it's just between us... and Lindsay, but don't worry, she won't spill. So, say it Spencie. Admit it!" Reid was furious now, he stared at her, his eyes were filled with hate and pain. He knew he lost, because she was right. So he gathered his courage "I belong in prison." he whispered.

Cat grinned, tilting her head slightly "What was that? I didn't quite hear you." Like a rat in a trap, she had him, even if he stops right here. Even if he runs out the door, he is trapped. The people he works for will demans the truth. "I belong in prison. I belong there, I am no better than you or Lindsay. Because I lied and for some reason Lindsay lied for me... you lied for me." his eyes were filled with tears. He understood and he saw that she saw it, understanding. Her endgame. Cat stood up and walked towards him "Last words Spencie. Why are we the same? Just say it." Reid looked at her, his voice was shaking. He might as well go in, he's got nothing left to lose. "Because I did it. I did it! I killed Nadie Ramos, I was high, but I grabbed the knife and I stabbed her. Lindsay stood there and she watched me do it."

Cat was ecstatic. She jumped on her feet and hugged him with joy. "See how good that felt. To tell the truth! To finally admit we belong together. We are the personification of entropy, we cause the system's fall to chaos, us!" Reid broke eye contact and faced the window. He didn't want to face her right now, he didn't want to face Luke or his team. But the show must go on, the curtains are lifted, he has to finish the game.

"I sometimes wondered..." his voice trembled slightly "where would I be if I hadn't taken Jason's deal? What would I do? Would I be happy? Wife? Kids?" he again turned to face her "But then I realized that nothing would change, the pain I felt and endured, would stay... only the cause would change. It wouldn't have mattered... I would still be broken and deep down I would be a murderer. That is my nature. So much death, so much suffering, and for what?! The world still moves on."

Spencer turned to face her. His expression was blank, his gaze starred straight ahead. Right through her. He furrowed his eyebrows, contemplating something. Suddenly his gaze focused, Luke's pounding that never ceased was back, drumming in his ears. The revelation that he just admitted to murder struck him. His eyes met her's, they were both afraid. He ran to his bedroom, pushing the door wide open and quickly grabbing his go bag. Cat eyed him worryingly. "What are you doing?" she asked. He looked at her, awoken from his panic infuzed daze. "I'm positive I just admitted to murder, so I'm not staying here."

Reid paced his apartment before stopping, his eyes locked on the window and the very useful fire escape. Dropping his credentials on the cofee table, he looked around the room. Soaking in the moment, knowing he won't see it again. Reid walked to his window, unlocking the hatch and letting the cool DC air in. Just as he began climbing out he looked at Cat. A small grin spread on his face. "You coming? I mean you could stay here, or you could come with me. One last adventure?" he reached out, offering his hand. Cat chuckled, now that was Spencer Reid she hasn't seen before. She took his hand, gladly accepting the proposal and running down the fire escape, with him by her side.

But unbeknownst to them, there, under the coffee table was a small, almost undetectable bug. And somewhere at the BAU the team was listening and Maxine with them.

"It has been said 'time heals all wounds'. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting it's sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it's never really gone."

-Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy