Farewell
Healer
I do not own Kara, Lena, or any other character in the Arrowverse. I repeat, I DO NOT in any way own the characters portrayed in this fic. I am just borrowing them because I think Kara and Lena deserve a shot at being together.
I just finished watching Ep13 of Season 5, and this happened... like my previous Supercorp fics so far, this is also a short one. In this one we get to see a little little little really little change of what I would have loved to see when Kara confronted Lena after Myx's latest visit...
Please keep in mind that this story is a FEMLASH, portraying what I believe are Kara's true feelings for Lena. So if this bothers you, you shouldn't be here, leave now if you're not comfortable with this fact.
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Farewell
Healer
After Lex found a way to push Andrea into partnering with us, I couldn't stop thinking of his words, he being proud of what I had done did not sit well with me at all. Sabotaging a really good project just to get my way, made me wonder what made me any different than Lex himself. I affirmed that while what I did was arguably wrong, I had done it for the right reason, for the well of humanity; which as I recalled, is something Lex argued too when he turned the Sun Red...
I was preparing myself a nice cup of tea while pondering over this situation and if it was worth it becoming like Lex in that sense, the end justifying the means, when I heard her landing on my balcony. I sighed preparing myself for another lecture, so I placed my mug back on the counter.
"Let me guess.. .you're here to tell me once again that I should forgive you" I started while walking around the counter towards Kara, NO, towards Supergirl, I reminded myself "Or maybe that I shouldn't work with my brother?" I asked her
"Not this time" she answered smiling sadly, making me stare at her. Then, before I could even react, she used her speed and was less than an inch in front of me, and just after a moment of hesitation on her part, she ended up cupping my face in her strong hands, a determined look crossing her own face before she leaned in kissing me and holding me tight against her, making it impossible for me to move away even if I had wanted to, because at that moment my knees went weak and my mind stopped working. Just when I was beginning to feel again, she ended the kiss and took a step back. "You hate me already" she said as if reading my mind when I wondered why she had done that "But I wanted you to know without a doubt how I really feel for you" she said taking another step back and schooling her features into those of Supergirl. "I recognize I made a mistake in hiding my identity from you for so long, but the past is the past and I can't change it. I've tried. And in the end, I rather have you hating me, than you not being around at all. " she continued "forgive me... or not. That is your choice. Just like it is your choice to work with Lex. I am done blaming myself for your bad decisions"
"So what was that then!?" I asked her upset by the audacity and the stubbornness she had just showed "Kiss the girl goodbye before you lie again, before you betray me again?" I demanded with tears in my eyes that I refused to let run free.
"NO" she said determined " I just need you to hear me out before I leave and never speak of it again" she continued. I arched my eyebrow in a silent acknowledgment to her request. "A while back, before I met you, when I just came out as Supergirl, I had a lot of anger issues. It was difficult for me to control it. The anger. One day, I ended up yelling at Cat Grant, of all people" she added chuckling bitterly "I panicked and thought she was going to fire me, but she took me out for drinks and helped me level down. She pointed out that there is anger behind the anger. It took me a while to understand it but she was right. I was not angry at her for treating me so poorly, nor was I angry at James at the time when he got back with Lucy because I thought I liked him... I was angry that there was literally no one in my life I could be myself with... no one who knew me so well that we could team up and win every single game at game night. And I thought I never would have that, with me being alien, kryptonian and Supergirl at that... " she sighed staring at the ground for a moment before looking back up meeting my gaze. "But then, you came to National City, and we became friends and as we got closer I let myself truly be when you were around. I finally had that person who knew me so well that we crushed everyone at game night" she said chuckling sadly with tears in her eyes. "I often forgot that you didn't know I am kryptonian, because when I am with you, I don't feel alien at all. I got to forget that I was Supergirl. You gave me normalcy. And every time I remembered you still didn't know, I wondered if you really didn't, or if you just went along with it for my benefit... Lena, you are the most intelligent, amazing, brave, strong, beautiful woman I've ever met and I really wish I could show you my mind, my memories of you. I wish you could see yourself as I see you. I never lied to you about anything. I agree, I kept a big part of myself concealed from you, but you have to agree that you did too, you kept secrets that put all of us at risk... and I forgave you, for everything, because I love you. Rao, I even committed a felony for you! So the only conclusion I have left of this whole ordeal and why we are not friends anymore, is either you don't care for me anymore, or you never did. Which is ok. I am sad by it though, because I got to see a time line where we were happy for a while... You plead the 5th to keep my identity secret and we were happy... but they killed you and Alex and everyone else too... so as I said earlier I rather have you hate me, than you not being in the world." she said taking a deep breath and standing from the couch, where she had sat at some point during her speech. "So I came to tell you that from now on you are accountable for your own actions" she added taking a step forward towards me again. "I love you Lena, more than I thought possible to love another being. But by Rao, I will not let myself be corrupted by my love for you. Not again... If you decide to forgive me, I will be there for you." she then sighed and walked backwards to the balcony again before she continued "but if you continue to work with Lex, if you go through with whatever it is you're planning, then regardless of how much I love you and how much it would hurt, I will do everything in my power to stop you, just like I would any other villain" she finished with a trembling voice and tears running down her cheeks.
And as she flew off, I knew that what I had felt as an accomplishment that day with Andrea, was not worth it all. My world came crashing down around me with the realization that I had finally lost the woman I love and that even when she loved me back, she had stopped believing in me and had in the end given up.
A/N: There... another little what if...
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