I had posted this a while ago (like two years ago? Maybe a bit longer) for the Unnatural Writers Club on Supernatural Amino but even after all this time it just didn't sit well with me. The tone was all over the place, tenses changed too often and I felt I just didn't hit what I was going for. So, like always, instead of leaving it alone, I rewrote it, still following the same prompt as before. This time, I'm much happier with the result and I feel it better suited the quote (as the challenge had been pick any quote you wanted and write 2000 words max related to it). I chose it from Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's Good Omens (which you don't need to read to understand this, but please do. It's an excellent book and there's even an amazon prime mini-series made back in May with David Tennant and Michael Sheen - plus fun fact about the book, Eric Kripke took inspo from their Crowley when making SPN!Crowley's character!)
Prompt: "Heaven has no taste, and not one single sushi restaurant." - Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett from Good Omens
"I don't see why I need to get involved in all this and help," Balthazar started with a huff, collapsing into a rather plush, and expensive chair in the room. With a snap of his fingers, the table across from him, previously empty, now had a glass tumbler appear on its sleek wooden surface. Shifting, the angel leaned forwards and grabbed the glass, swirling the liquid in it before taking a sip. "It's not my fault the world is going to end. Again, might I add," he continued.
Across from Balthazar, in a chair identical to the angel's, sat another being. It raised it's brow, gold eyes watching Balthazar place the glass down on the table that sat between their chairs.
"You can't tell me you've actually given up on this world," it said, leaning forwards towards the angel.
Balthazar shrugged at the comment made.
"And if I had?" he asked in a nonchalant tone, taking another sip. He didn't see what the other was making such a fuss about. The earth had meant to end last year, but it had been stopped by the two Winchester boys and their pet angel. It only made sense that if the Apocalypse was so desperate to happen that not even a year later it was back on track, who was Balthazar to stand in its way and try and stop it? Might as well let it happen and let the whole thing run its course and get it out of its system.
The being opened its mouth to reply before it paused and shut it. Instead, it opted to reach for its own glass, barely glancing at the amber liquid inside before taking a sip. "I suppose, then, the world will just have to burn," it tells Balthazar in a matter of fact tone, not appearing to be in the mood to argue against the angel.
The angel nodded.
"I guess it will."
He shifted in his seat, carefully observing the other. "Is there no one else getting involved in this?" Balthazar asked and the gold eyed being shook its head.
"No." It paused, leaning back into its back, making itself comfortable as it took another sip, draining the glass. "Or, at least, not in the way you're suggesting," it continued and Balthazar tilted his head, a bit intrigued.
The being in front of him was fairly powerful. While not being angelic in nature, it was not a creature to be taken lightly. What it lacked in absolute power, he knew it made up in tricks and illusions, and most importantly, connections with other supernatural creatures.
"How are they involved then? Or at least, who is? Are any of your people involved?"
The being snorted. "In stopping it? The Winchesters and their angel, as always. And, if my sources are correct, Crowley has some involvement in all this - although it's not certain to what degree. If you mean who's orchestrating all of it, then Raphael and the rest of Heaven."
"Huh." Balthazar glanced over at the only window in the room they sat in, and for a moment, the other assumed he was lost in thought.
"Plus," the being continued, "' my people', as you call them, stand no match against most of Heaven or Hell. They care about the earth, yes, but they saw what happened last time they got involved. They wish to stay out of human problems." It shrugged, taking another sip from his glass.
The angel gave a scoff. "Wise choice on their part."
"The only creatures that truly are upset about this situation are the hunters."
Balthazar gave him a look of disgust, reaching for his glass and draining the alcohol in it. "Hunters," he grumbles. "Such dirty, savage-like little creatures. You can't be here, trying to convince me to save the world by working with them, are you?"
The other smiled, eyes filled with amusement at the angel's grimace.
"Have you gone mad? Hunters?"
"Perhaps," he said vaguely. "But if you must know, they aren't as savage as you believe. They are quite cunning creatures. Smart, and do care about their home."
"You speak so highly of them," Balthazar commented. With a snap of his fingers, the glass was refilled and he took a sip. "Why?"
"I have spent many years on earth, watching how they interact with everything up close. It changed my opinions on them and perhaps, if you got to know them better, you would too."
"I'll have you know I've spent quite some time with humans as well!" Balthazar squawked, placing the glass down and crossing his arms across his chest. "I've seen myself how they act and behave with others, visited their establishments, and all that sort! Hardly changed my opinion on them," he replied, disgust still written on his features.
The gold eyed being's eyes flashed, but it didn't do anything.
"Bloody hell, working with hunters," he grumbled. "I'm not drunk enough to even entertain the idea right now." He drains his glass, refills it, and then drains it again.
The other watches him, glass still half-filled and untouched since the beginning of their conversation. Silence falls between the two as it watches Balthazar try to get himself drunker and drunker.
After a few minutes, the gold eyed being finally speaks. "So I guess we're just going to end up watching the world end."
"I guess we will," Balthazar admitted.
"In fire, or in ice do you think?"
The angel blinked in surprise, having not expected that question. "What?" He asked unintelligently. He's caught off guard by the topic change.
"Fire or ice?" it repeated. When Balthazar continues to look at it blankly, the being clarified, "The poem. A human mused that the earth would end either in fire or ice. I was curious as to what you thought."
"What on earth does that mean? Is one supposed to Heaven or Hell?"
The being chuckled at the angel's confusion. "Maybe, who knows? Maybe it will end without the help of Heaven or Hell. Maybe it will end at the hands of humanity. Either way, it'll end, and since we've decided to do nothing about it, I was wondering how you'd prefer to watch it go. Burning to the ground or freezing over?"
Balthazar opens his mouth, before closing it, pondering the question. Then, honestly, he says, "I'm not sure." He frowns, brows furrowing. "Why do you care so much about saving this planet? What is so special about it to you? Could you not just find another planet to stay at if it got destroyed? The universe is quite vast - I doubt there wouldn't be somewhere, be it a nebula or asteroid belt or planet."
Again those gold eyes flash and for a moment, Balthazar thinks he recognizes them. "I could."
"So then why keep asking for my help?" the angel pressed. This conversation isn't going the way Balthazar wanted it to go, and he drains his glass, refilling it a third - or is it fourth? - time. (He's still too sober for all of this.) "Or, better yet, why not join the hunters yourself and help them? You seem far keener on saving it than I am."
"I have already helped save it last time it was nearly destroyed. Barely got out alive. I think stopping one Apocalypse is more than enough for me," the being told Balthazar.
"But that still doesn't explain why I, of all angels, must get involved! Aren't there others that are more willing and foolish to accept your offer?"
The being tilted his head. "I'm sure there are."
Balthazar groaned and rubbed his face. "Look, I really do not care what happens to this planet when Heaven and Hell and everyone else turn on each other. I don't care whether it ends in fire, or ice, because I can find another planet, another galaxy to hide in. Or, I could return to Heaven, live there in Paradise."
His frustration is only growing the longer this conversation plays out. He's not interested in saving the world or helping hunters, and yet the creature across from him doesn't appear to comprehend that.
"Heaven?" Across from him, the being leans forwards, interested. "You'd return to Heaven?" It asked and he shrugged.
"Sure, why not? It's not as bad as they say."
"I dare to disagree. I doubt it has better things than earth does. Can you not tell me there'll be things you'll miss when the world gets destroyed?"
"I suppose," Balthazar admitted after a moment of silence. "I can't deny that there aren't some elements of humanity that won't be missed."
"But despite that, you'd still rather return to Heaven than try to save the planet from utter destruction?" the being asked, a faint tinge of humour in his tone and Balthazar scowled.
"I will."
He was quite done with this conversation now.
"And spend your days listening to celestial harmonies with Michael?"
Balthazar heard the teasing in the being's voice.
"I, now wait -"
"On and on for days. For eternity."
"Listen -" he began, ready to counter but found he had nothing to say that could help his point.
The gold eyed being continues, grinning widely. "And you'll have to be sober. For the whole thing," it continued, pointedly glancing at Balthazar's once more empty glass. "No bars, no beautiful beings to distract you from it all either."
"I, well -"
"Admit it. Heaven has no taste."
"Now -"
"And not one single sushi restaurant."
Balthazar's mouth snapped shut, a look of horror and pain crossing his face. Suddenly, the prospect of returning to Heaven after the earth's destruction didn't appeal to him anymore. Narrowing his eyes at the being's smug expression, he crossed his arms against his chest. It was unfair how it threw that at him, knowing very well how Balthazar had not only enjoyed sushi on earth - alongside eating other foods - but had also reminded him how dreadfully boring Heaven would truly be without the copious distractions he was used to daily.
"I take your silence means you're in?" the being purred, leaning forward in its chair, and Balthazar nodded curtly.
"You bastard."
He receives laughter in response.
"What do I have to do?" the angel asked, letting out a defeated sigh and the being across from him smirked, rolling his shoulders.
"Well-" he began and Balthazar knows he's already regretting his decision because you should never, ever listen to the Trickster.
Let me know what you thought! Also, for anyone wondering, the poem mentioned by the Trickster in this is Robert Frost's Fire and Ice one of the few poems I actually enjoyed during the poetry unit in my grade 11 English class (I did also quite enjoy a bunch of the poems by Derek Walcott). God, I miss Balthazar and wish the writers had kept him around longer.
-Twist