AN: So this was just one of the ideas that wouldn't leave me alone recently, so I just had to write it. I have never written them before or for this fandom, so hopefully I didn't do a terrible job.

I will never be 100% okay with how they handled Alex leaving. It was a complete shit show and maybe this is my way of trying to cope with it.

Jo sat at their island, a bottle of Grey Goose and a glass in front of her. She wished she had something stronger than 80 proof; but this was all they had in the loft. It had been weeks of Alex acting weird, avoiding her at all costs and honestly, she was just sick of it. She was through fighting with him to open up to her about whatever it was.

What was the point of fighting so hard? If Alex didn't want to open up to him, how could she make him?

She almost scoffed at the similarities in it. It was exactly how it was after she got back from visiting her mom. When she pushed Alex away and refused to speak to him.

Maybe this was her payback. The universe was a bitch that way.

Jo heard the loft's door slide open and click back into place; but she didn't turn around. Instead, she just poured another hefty serving of clear liquid into her glass. She paid Alex no attention as she felt him walk across the loft and dump his bag on the couch.

"Jo," he said, breaking the heavy silence in the loft.

She downed another shot and didn't respond.

"Jo, can we talk?"

She set the glass down and did a half turn to look at Alex. She raised her eyebrow. "Now you want to talk to me? After you've been avoiding me for the past week? What is this, payback?"

"Payback? What - What are you talking about?" Alex stuttered. After a moment, he put the pieces together and realized what she must be talking about. "You think I'd want to get you back for that?"

Jo shrugged. "I don't know, Alex. But it sure as hell seems like it." She stood up from the stool and turned to fully face him. "You won't talk to me, you're avoiding me. It's exactly what I did after I met my mother."

"I would say I've been busy at Pac North and have had a lot on my plate but that would probably be bullshit."

"Yeah, it would."

"But it is the truth," Alex sighed and ran a hand over his face. "The main thing is I've struggled for the past weeks to figure out a way to talk about it, to anyone. I guess I just needed time to process."

Jo relented a little. Maybe she was being a little too hard on Alex. After all, didn't she need time too? And didn't she get more and more annoyed with every time Alex pushed her when she wasn't ready?

Though she was also fighting depression.

"You could have just told me," Jo said eventually. "Hell we could have just gone to therapy together if it's that bad."

He reached up and started loosening his tie. "It's not bad. It's just… a lot to take in."

"Is it something that I need to sit down for or -?"

"I have kids -" he blurted out, cutting her and catching her completely off guard.

Jo's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Alex, what?"

"When I was contacting Arizona, Addison, Cristina and everyone trying to help out Meredith while she was fighting for her license. I reached out to just about everyone who used to work for Grey Sloan who would say something good about Mer. I found out that Izzie had my kids, twins - Eli and Alexis." Alex spit it out in one breath. He walked over to the couch and flopped down, letting his head fall on the back. "I know I should have told you the moment I found out; but I couldn't even believe it - I was too godsmacked."

Jo closed the small distance between herself and the couch, taking a seat on the opposite side. She pulled her leg under her, turning to face Alex and leaning her arm on the back of the couch.

"Hell, I forgot she froze her eggs when the cancer got worse," Alex went on. "Never really thought about them again after she left me. I mean, what reason did I have."

"It's been years, Alex."

"I know…I still don't even know why she told me after all these years."

"You opened that window of communication when you reached out."

"And a part of me is wishing I never did. That I never knew this information; because they've had five years without me in my life and Izzie says they're the happiest kids they could be. But what kind of man would I be if I wasn't at least somewhat present in my children's lives? After the shitty childhood that I had? I know what that does to a person."

She sat there, afraid of what was coming. After everything with her last patient cheating on her husband with an ex who showed back up in her life; and Alex acting weird. Jo was afraid of Alex leaving her. And maybe it was all about to come true.

Alex sighed and turned to face Jo. "They live out on a lot of land in Kansas - apparently Izzie married a farmer and she's an Oncologist now. I've realized that they don't need me - they're happy and healthy and that's all I could ever ask for."

The weight on Jo's chest lifted; but just the slightest.

"You know I love you, you're the love of my fricking life and I definitely don't deserve you especially after I've been such an ass the past few weeks." Alex reached for her hand and she didn't protest when he grasped hers in his own. "I'm sorry I've been distant and a complete asshole after everything you've gone through...I just need time to process and take it in. Though I should have been upfront with you about needing the space and the time."

Jo blinked. He was right; it was a lot to take in. In fact, she was having a hard time letting it soak up herself.

"I know I probably had you thinking the worst and for that I'm so sorry."

"For a split second there, my brain was convinced you were planning on leaving me," she admitted and it felt weird, saying that out loud.

Alex hit his head on the back of the couch. "I am literally the worst."

She hit him on his arm and gave him a small smile. "Let's just make a deal for now on to just communicate when we need time to deal with something before we talk about it."

"Deal." He sat up and turned to face her. "You know, I would never do that to you, I fucking love you. I'm in this for the long haul."

Jo responded by interlocking their fingers together. They sat in a more comfortable silence. The heaviness pushing down on her chest was finally gone. For the first time in weeks, she felt like she could breath. She wasn't stressing or thinking the worst anymore.