Rachel lay on her back and stared at the stars as Quinn pawed at her breasts. They had crawled out of Quinn's attic window onto the roof to fool around under the night sky
"Do you know any constellations?"
"No. You're so nerdy," Quinn told her as she pressed against her and pinned her down. Rachel felt Quinn's warm body sink into hers.
Rachel ran her hands up Quinn's back and lost them in her hair.
"I'll take you to the stars," she whispered to her affectionately, "princess."
"Quinn," she squirmed as Quinn kissed her neck and ran her hand up her thigh.
"Yeah?" she asked distantly as she pushed her panties down and kicked them off.
"Santana said you told her not to talk to me," she began as she watched her.
"Um, no I told her to stop flirting with you."
Rachel blushed.
"She wasn't and," she lost courage as she watched Quinn pull her panties down and straddle her. She looked up at Quinn, surrounded in stars, framed by eternity. "I mean I don't care when you flirt with others girls. And guys."
Quinn smirked. "Baby, I'm a natural, they just like me."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "I know but that's not ..."
Quinn brushed the hair back from Rachel's eyes and kissed her temple.
"Do you really think Santana is going to take you to the stars?" she kissed her.
Rachel struggled to talk over her beating heart.
"No, I just wonder why you're so ... it's like you don't want me to be close to anyone but you."
And she finally saw it. The truth flickered in her emerald eyes and she glanced away to gain control over it.
"If I was so controlling over you or whatever, why wouldn't I like tattoo my name all over your body and marry you?"
Rachel stared at her, stunned.
"I mean, I don't know. Whenever you talk about it, you get edgey."
She squeezed Rachel with her thighs.
"I'm not edgey, I just don't know why you ..." she huffed, "Why you have to play ..." she pressed her face against Rachel's ear and kissed along it. "Like you don't want everything I want. I can feel that you do."
"Quinn, it's like there's a secret you who is Eminem level obsessed with me."
She laughed.
"That's funny. You know I love Eminem."
"We both do. Marshall could walk in the door right now, I'd probably suck the skin off him."
The humor faded from Quinn's eyes. She glanced at Rachel's neck like she wanted to choke her.
Rachel stilled.
"Like that. Like you say you don't care who I have feelings for but you look like you're going to cut my throat for talking about sucking a dick."
She was honestly toying with the idea. She forced a shrug.
"You like sucking dick, that's fine. You're a girl. You like sucking pussy, too."
She ran her hand on Quinn's shoulder.
"I love sucking yours."
Quinn purred but her eyes wandered and grew distant.
"Tell me the truth," she stared in her brown eyes, "Do you like Santana?"
Rachel furrowed her brows.
"No but I'm baffledby your feelings about it. Do you want me for yourself or not?"
Quinn suddenly looked at the sky and shrugged.
"You're engaged to Finn or whatever."
"You told me to get engaged, Quinn."
She clenched her jaw.
"I did not. In fact, I told you not to sleep with Finn while wearing my ring."
"I didn't."
"So you took off my ring and slept with him and got engaged."
Rachel grimaced.
"Congratu-fucking-lations," she spat.
"You told me to," Rachel added meekly.
"Because I'm fucked up and that's what you really want!"
Rachel pulled her close and fought her resistance.
"Shhhh. Baby, your parents will hear."
Quinn's eyes misted.
"That's what you always wanted. You told me that when we first talked, how you wanted me to marry you and be your wife. I said you should be famous instead. Like you're so special, you don't belong in this town. And you don't belong with me. You should go where you can have the life you deserve."
Rachel kissed her cheek as a tear ran down it.
"That's why I don't ... know why you're with Finn. Like, he's popular and you're a nerd so I get that. Like you were a shy girl and he's this super tall sexy guy who wants thinks you're cute. You're like star struck by him. But Rachel, he's just a small town farm boy and you're wasting yourself with him."
Rachel kissed her other cheek but she pulled away and looked at her harshly.
"And you ... you don't even acknowledge ... the very obvious truth about it."
Rachel sighed and waited for her to say it.
Quinn, just say it.
"You're in love with me anyway. And you're just doing this to fuck with me."
Rachel sat up and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.
"Quinn," she whispered. Quinn tried to shrug her off and she slipped her small hands under her arms and tickled her.
"Quinnston," she teased. "Quinndrew."
Quinn squirmed and grinned.
"Quinnberly."
"Not my name. None of those are names."
Rachel let off and she wound down. Quinn laid down on top of her again, their bare chests pressed together. Rachel eased her arms around Quinn and kissed her head.
"Quinn, I know it's hard but what I feel for Finn is real. I'm not trying to fuck with you."
She felt her try to pull away but she held her near.
"Baby, please, don't fight me on this. I really love Finn, he's not just the most popular boy in school to me. Quinn, we talked, just like you and I talked. And he wants what I want."
Quinn finally pulled away from her and turned her back.
"Good then go fucking whatever marry him and live happily ever after."
She ran her hand on Quinn's back and pulled her shoulder.
"See, why do you have to be like this? You don't want to marry me but you don't want me to marry anyone else. It's like you're chaining me to this fate ... of living my whole life waiting for you to own your feelings for me. Quinn, I adore you but you'll never be my wife so why do you get so upset about it? Baby, I'm not trying to hurt you. Finn understands me, he understands ... about you."
Quinn froze.
"Oh because you both are terribly scarred from what a piece of shit I am."
"It's not that," Rachel returned quickly.
"No, you have matching scars from the deforming monstrousity of my love."
"Now you're just spiraling."
"Now you're just rubbing it in. Christ. Rachel, I get it. You really love Finn. He understands you want a home and a family and he wants those things too. And he understands about ..." she looked at the sky with exhaustion and finally gestured to herself, "this."
Rachel couldn't help but smirk and nod.
"Yeah he understands about," she indicated their naked bodies, "this."
Quinn ran a hand on her bare stomach and tried not to brood.
"So you're going to have his babies and," her voice broke and a tear fell in Rachel's outstretched hand.
"Quinn, shhhhh," she pulled her close. "Go on, whatever, just go and abandon me."
Rachel rolled so that her small body pressed down against Quinn's. She began covering her face with kisses.
"Shhhhh."
Quinn finally calmed and raised her face obediently for her kisses. She sank her fingers into Rachel's hip.
"I guess I thought ... "
Rachel kissed her lips.
"You can say it."
Her voice broke and she waited several seconds for the courage to continue.
"Maybe one day... if I ever grow the fuck up … you and me …"
She began to cry and Rachel kissed her deeply.
"We don't have to wait for one day. We're together right now. We'll always be together," Rachel promised her in a heated rush.
Quinn wrapped her protective arms around Rachel's shoulders.
"I just ... part of me ... when I think about how you feel for other people, I get so jealous and I just think ... it can' t be how she feels for me. Right? Do you care about them ... I mean more than you care about me?"
Rachel closed her eyes but she cried anyway.
"No," she told her. She felt Quinn cling to her.
"Tell me then," she whispered possessively against her temple.
Rachel breathed. She promised herself this is the line she wouldn't cross again.
"I don't care about anyone the way I care about you. No one will ever be what you are to me. No one will ever take your place."
She felt Quinn's hips grind on her. She felt Quinn's hot breath against her neck. She felt Quinn's hands swimming across her skin.
"Say it," she muttered against her ear.
Rachel felt her stomach flip at the possession. God the possession in her tone. She felt Quinn's fingers opening her and sinking into her wetness with a groan.
"Tell the fucking truth," Quinn commanded as her fingers pressed inside and stretched out.
Rachel gasped, "Quinn."
"Say who you fucking belong to, Rachel," she whispered against her temple as she intently stroked her.
Rachel squirmed against her hand as Quinn pressed inside.
"It's you, Quinn," Rachel admitted weakly as she melted against their blanket stretched on the roof tiles.
Quinn shook her head like that comment made chemicals flood from her brain stem. She grinned and wondered if she should bite or kiss Rachel.
"You're my girl," Quinn told her as she stared in her undulating eyes and sank her fingers in her again and again.
Rachel stared at her perfect mouth and tried to breathe. Her small hands clung to Quinn's forarm as she pinned her down.
"You're mine, forever and ever," she whispered to her deliriously as she mounted her subconsciously.
She ground her aching pussy on Rachel's sharp hip and gasped. Rachel's eyes widened at the stark bright fire of desire and intent in her eyes.
She pinned Rachel with both hands and ground down on her.
"Fuck yeah," she whispered as her eyes drifted closed.
"Quinn?" Rachel asked her softly as she began retreating. She rocked on her and her face contorted.
"Yeah, baby?" Rachel was actually surprised she answered. She looked so fucking high from her raging desire.
Her mind raced through modes of speech but she couldn't even remember how to talk.
"Hold me?" she finally squeaked.
Quinn just dropped down on her and collapsed against her sweaty torso as she rode the wave of her lust.
Rachel heard the roof tiles beginning to be ripped out of place. Damn Quinn's thrust-tastic QuinnEngine turbo drive. Breaks the bed every fucking time.
Quinn groaned and tried to dislodge Rachel's hair from her mouth.
Rachel saw the stars jumping in and out of focus. She saw the green eyes of eternity conveying to her the duality of her life: Quinn's distanced obsession with her. Quinn's isolating fixation on her. The love and the denial, wrapped in one little woman who clung to her while pushing her away. She knew her life would always be this way. She was fated to get the thing she wanted most: Quinn's starving love for her.
Quinn stroked her hair as she held her head against her shoulder.
"I wish I could get you pregnant with my baby," Quinn told her deviously.
"You'd definitely lie about whose child it is."
She laughed.
"I'm not trying to pay Child Support, ho."
Rachel popped her thigh playfully.
"I guess you're going to have fifteen gross little Darcy Whatever Finn Hudsons."
Rachel kissed her shoulder. "Hopefully, yeah."
"What if you had fifteen little Finns and one little Quinn?"
Rachel kissed her lips.
"I would love that."
"She would be your favorite though, right?"
Rachel pushed her hair back.
"Baby ... Eloise, you are my favorite. I hate it when you look at me like you think I'm getting over you and you're so jealous you need to hump me on the roof."
"I always need to hump you on the roof," she told her defensively.
"I worry about you, Quinn," she added quietly.
Quinn ran a hand on her stomach and finally kissed her.
"Don't worry, Rachel," she finally took heart and smiled bravely as she looked in her brown eyes. "You and Finn are going to be perfect together and have all the happiness in the world. And I'm going to be right here, always." She kissed her shoulder protectively. Rachel smiled and snuggled into her warm body. She continued in a devious whisper,
"Because I'm your actual favorite and you're going to have a little Quinn when I impregnate you with my incredible grinding skills."
Rachel laughed.
"Close enough," she told her honestly. Finn would probably be fine with that.
Quinn yawned and raised her arm. Rachel drifted to sleep on her shoulder.
"Here are the constellations I know. That one is Bro Ryan. He's a frat boy. That's why he's hauling that cooler on his shoulder."
Rachel giggled.
"That one is Krampus. That little cluster is an outbreak. Those are the Ninja Turtles." She indicated the Heavens lazily, "Those ones are singing raisins."
Rachel laughed. "I never knew you were a star genius, Quinn."
"I'm just getting started. That's Ursula Major. She's a sea queen. Ursula Minor is her twin on another sitcom, it's complicated."
"That's Beetlejuice, he's a zombie. Or a genie. Wait, what is that guy?"
"Batman."
Quinn laughed.
"I think you're right. Beetlejuice is a bat man. That's food for thought right there."
She kissed Rachel's head.
"Thank you for loving me, Rachel," she whispered to her. She felt Rachel snuggle into her embrace. "Thank you for ... understanding."
Rachel contemplated the stars. Perhaps no one really understands anything. Maybe all we can do is try our best. Maybe, in the end, love is enough.
Maybe love is enough.