"New to town with a made-up name, in the shining city, chasing fortune and fame. And the camera flashes make it look like a dream," Kara stared up at all the banners hanging around the city, each of them emblazoned with her cousin's face. Even though this was her city and not his, he was such a legend that the entire world celebrated him. It didn't matter that he was no longer around, his birthday was just about a global holiday at this point. And now, seeing that handsome picture upon such marvelous banners, Kara was taken back to the time when they first met. He had already been fairly well along in his superhero career when she arrived to Earth and, back then, she felt just as starstruck by him as any normal human would be. She could still remember her awe as she first learned of the life her cousin had made for himself here on Earth. Seeing all these banners took her back to that time and a large wave of nostalgia, both good and bad, washed over her.
"You had it figured out since you were in school. Everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool. So over time, you turned into a new hero. Another name goes up in lights, like diamonds in the sky…" Already Kara could see it in her mind's eye, the story of Superman: a small-town boy from the heart of Kansas. A nothing and a nobody. But after harnessing his powers and gifts, he became the legendary champion, savior, hero and protector of his new home city. He became a legend and everyone knew his name. Not a soul alive remained ignorant to his heroic deeds and only a sparse few reviled him for it. The rest of the world was in love with the mighty Man of Steel.
"And they'll tell you now, you're the lucky one. Yeah, they'll tell you now, you're the lucky one," Kara spoke to one of the banners. "But can you tell me now, you're the lucky one?" because although a small part of Kara envied her cousin's fame and adoration, because she connected with him on a level humans couldn't even dream of, there was a small piece of her that could not help but wonder. Was he truly lucky? Was he truly happy? Sure, his face was emblazoned in everyone's mind, associated with words like "good", "strong", "honest" and "just", but was it really all it was cracked up to be? Or were Kara's doubts only envies manifesting in a twisted hope, a hope that maybe Superman was not as happy as he seemed because a small part of her still loathed the idea of him being this successful without her?
"Now it's big black cars, and Riviera views, and your fanbase on this planet doesn't truly know you," Kara sighed as she continued along down the streets, Superman's face still everywhere. The truth was, even though he was practically a celebrity, Kara knew all too well what that sort of fame did to a person. Sure, the entire globe knew his name and his legacy, but did they really know him? No. They didn't. And what a lonely life that must've been for the Man of Steel.
"Then your secrets end up splashed on the news front page," Kara shook her head, thinking about the likes of Lex Luthor, the collection of beings who despised the Man of Steel. If dealing with people like Lex was the price one would pay for Superman-level fame, was it really worth it? And not only that, but in some strange way, Lex probably did know the real Superman better than anyone else. Maybe he did not know Superman's civilian identity, but he knew more about what made Superman tick than most of the rest of the population of Earth. What did that say about a person when the one who knew him best was his worst enemy?
"And they tell you that you're lucky. But you're so confused. Because you don't feel famous, you just feel used…" Just for a second, Kara even felt bad for Lex. He and Superman were both in this wicked game of life, even if neither of them had ever intended to play. Even though Lex was Superman's opposite in every possible way, the one thing that still connected them both was the attention the rest of the world gave them. Even if one was seen as a hero and the other a villain, both were often the subject of hot gossip and intrigue. Did it ever get tiring to be Lex Luthor? Constantly speculated about? Yes, he wanted the attention, but was this it? Or was a small part of him as frustrated as his biggest rival?
"And all the young thieves line up to take your place…" now Kara's attentions turned to herself. After Superman, other heroes began popping up across the globe. Some of them even did try to "usurp" Superman's position as the strongest and most famous of all. And Kara counted herself among that number. Even though there was no monopoly on the "superhero industry", she could not deny all the wannabes that she had seen during her time on Earth, and even she was one of them, trying to find her own place in the world in a position that would both rival and balance her cousin's. She did not necessarily wish to "dethrone" him as the world's best hero, but she could not deny some desire to be seen as every bit of the superhero that her cousin was.
"Another name goes up in lights. You wonder if you'll make it out alive," now she was referring to both herself and Superman, because she was starting to truly follow in his footsteps. Her desire to be a hero just like her cousin was starting to become reality and she wasn't quite sure how to feel about it, or how to handle it. Sure, she knew how to fly and smile and save the day, but how did she really feel about all of it? That was a question she was certain no one had the answer to. And maybe they never would. Because a few years later after Superman started looking towards retirement, a peaceful and quiet life with the woman he loved, Kara showed up.
Even though she had taken upon her own superhero persona and mantle, the world still told the legend of how Superman disappeared. He was still alive, they knew, but he was no longer around to save the day and fight in epic battles like he used to. Instead, he took his lover and his dignity and then got out of dodge as fast as he could.
"They say you bought a bunch of land somewhere, chose a rose garden over Madison Square," Kara murmured, thinking about all the rumors swirling around about what had become of Superman now that he was retired. Some said he had gone to the place that raised him. Others guessed he was hidden in the Fortress of Solitude. And others still speculated that he wasn't even on Earth anymore. But no matter the truth, it was all a general agreement that he had turned away from a life of fame and fortune to choose something much more humble and hidden. Perhaps some people understood, arguing that the hero essentially wanted a life-long break from all the chaos he'd endured so far, but most people were in disbelief. Even if he was tired of constantly risking his neck for others, how could someone as friendly and charismatic as Superman wish to turn down a life of publicity and praise? Even Kara had not understood it at first.
"How can you just give up on so much?!" she had demanded of him once.
"Because I'm tired, Kara," he replied, his eyes speaking words his mouth never could. "Oh believe me, I love this planet and I love all the people on it, but I'm tired. This life no longer fulfills me the way it used to. Now I'm looking for a new dream, and towards a new vision."
"But how?" Kara could still only protest and shake her head in disbelief (and maybe a bit of envy). "How can you turn away from it all? Not just the people, but all the ease and comfort a life like this could offer?" but Superman had been unable to offer an answer Kara could fathom. Instead, he only gave her a teary smile before hugging her farewell and leaving with his new bride-to-be.
And it took some time, but Kara understood it now.
"Cause now my name is up in lights," she said, referring to her own blooming legacy as a superhero. "But I think you got it right," because although Kara was finally, finally, finally getting a chance to carve out her own name and story, it came at very steep prices. Death, despair, deceit, disagreement, discomfort. All the things she knew Superman had dealt with too were finally her own burdens to bear and they were worse than she had thought. They were not unbearable, but they were more pressing and taxing than she had first assumed. Now she finally knew why Superman had chosen a harder but freer life over an easy but stifling one. Sure, the hero gig was great. Nothing gave Kara more joy than to help people! But at the same time, for every compliment and offer for help that she received, something would rear its ugly head to match. But Superman? He was free. He had not a care in the world. He was… normal.
Oh, perhaps he would never completely be normal. And he would, of course, face the usual challenges of life, but the sort of treachery and danger he faced while in cape and suit was over. Now his biggest concern was keeping his wife happy. That was hardly a challenge when compared to Luthor battles and family fights. There were no more secrets, no more wars, no more Kryptonite. While Kara was thrown into political and public squabbles, the PR and enemies alike hunting her down nonstop, Superman got to kick back with his wife and truly live life on his own terms. He had time to learn, explore and grow. Kara was ever on alert. No wonder he had given up this life despite still being so young and healthy. Had the godlike power and immortality he had before been worth the constant strain and stress that came with it?
Now Kara could only see her own face on the banners. Even though Superman was still celebrated to this very day, he was happy and free. She, meanwhile, was a slave both to those whom she served and those whom she fought against. While Superman could kick back and enjoy life, Kara still had so many masks to don and tasks to do. It was a wonderful life, yes, but it was taxing and confusing. It was scary and endless. She would never take a single fan of hers for granted, but sometimes it was hard having to hold her head high day after day.
And even more so, she felt alone. Yes, she had Alex, J'onn, Winn, James, Lena and all the others, but it was not quite how Kara truly wanted it. Kara wanted what Superman had: a Lois Lane. Maybe that sounded petty, cruel, selfish and needlessly jealous, but it was true. Kara knew full well she did not need a lover to be happy, but that did not mean she wasn't still lonely occasionally. She wanted a Lois too. But in her line of work, that was hard to come by. Superman surely had been the lucky one to find the woman he did, and Kara envied him for it. She felt bad for being so jealous, but it was hard to control. She never wished ill upon either of them, but it would be a lie to say that she did not wish that maybe a… certain someone could look at her the same way Superman looked at Lois.
Kara could only stare enviously upward. This time, though, she was not looking at all the posters and pictures of her cousin. She was looking to the sky, where Superman and his wife lived many lightyears away. Even after all these years, she was still jealous of him, and still feeling as if she were forever stuck in his shadow. All the things he learned and did, she needed extra years to catch up and learn herself. While he already had it all figured out, she was still guessing, caught right in the endless crossfire. It really was fitting that envy was color-coded as green, because it hurt just as much as a certain other green substance Kara was painfully weak against. And both green things were the only things on Earth to get under her skin so well and so easily every single time, no matter how much she tried to harden herself against them.
But after a time, the angrier side of the jealousy faded back into a resigned but mournful longing. She loved the life she had now, yes, but that did not mean she couldn't appreciate (and yes, envy) the life Superman managed to snag for himself at the same time. But since there was nothing she could really do to remedy anything in any way, she only put her head down and kept on walking down the busy city streets, quickly blending into the crowd once more while her cousin's handsome face smiled down at her. Between the two of them, Kara knew he was the lucky one. Not because he was the better-known superhero, but because he was the happier one.
Let me tell you now, you're the lucky one.
And yeah, they'll tell me now I'm the lucky one.
But can you tell me now, you're the lucky one?
And can you tell me how I'm the lucky one?
AN: I can easily see Kara thinking this about her cousin after he gets to go off with Lois while she has to stay behind and essentially pick up where he left off.