A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I think I will delete all of my fics. Except for Fifty Shades of Santana Lopez and Deep Desires. But every single story I made will probably be deleted.

But..I'm back again, after a month I think?

So, I hope you enjoy this story I have been writing for a month, and yeah..HAHAHA

CHAPTER ONE

October 14, 2020. A Year After Santana's Wife Died.

I think I'm going insane.

My wife, Hazel, was the love of my life. She was my shoulder, my comforter, and my laughter. She was amazingly beautiful. With her soft brunette hair, and her gray eyes. Making her my wife was the best thing ever happened in my life, especially having with our only child, Lucas Lopez, who is a six-year old boy who is the luckiest boy I ever have. I love my family, more than myself. One day, Hazel told me she had to go to a business trip for a week at Australia, I wanted her to stay. But it was important so, she went.

But then, after a week, I turned on my television to watch some news until I saw the caption "Plane Crash." And all the victims on the plane were dead. And then, I saw my wife's name. I screamed, from the top of my lungs that the neighbors were starting to yell and knock on my door. My boy was crying with fear as I thrashed everything in the house.

The funeral was devastating, I cried through the ceremony. I was emotionally wrecked. I wanted to stab myself in the heart and be with her up there. But, I had to be with Lucas. For Hazel.

A year has passed by and I'm still depressed, still drinking, and still emotionally wrecked. Every time I go home, I see Lucas' nanny sleeping on the couch beside him. And in the morning, I would see her leave. I would play with Lucas and bring him to the park but only in a limited time because I have work.

My work is currently bad, I'm not that focused enough and I don't earn much sales as before. My boss is practically yelling at me to do my job but I couldn't, not when I'm sad and angry.

So, I'm technically jeopardizing me and my son's life. I want to fix myself again but, how? Will I ever be happy again? Will I meet another woman in my life?

I don't know, maybe not.

It's Tuesday morning and this is going to be my first time taking Lucas to school. I never usually bring him because of work, sometimes the nanny would take him or he would walk alone to school. It isn't that far, which is great because he managed to walk from our house to the school. It makes me feel like I'm a bad mother, technically a father because I have a so called penis which I am not ashamed about. I'm very proud by it.

As I drive to the school, I hear Lucas, saying, "Will you pick me up later after school?"

I shrugged. "I'll try, love. I have tons of papers to do." I hear him sigh deeply. Oh no, I feel that knot inside my stomach. I have made my baby boy sad again.

"Okay." He said simply as I parked outside of his school. He quickly got out and run towards the entrance that made me almost freak. I quickly grabbed his bag at the backseat and immediately walked inside the building.

While I was walking through the hallway, I see Lucas going to the corner of a small classroom. Once he opened the door, a woman came out of the classroom and greeted him.

I stopped my tracks as I see this beautiful woman. She was incredibly...gorgeous. Oh my god, I don't know if I should be feeling this but I'm feeling that struck, like a light beaming right at my face. My heart thumps rapidly as she makes those single move, this is crazy, how am I feeling this? I shouldn't but I can't help it, I think I'm having the love at first sight thing.

"I'm sorry if I'm late, Mama is really in the hurry to go to work." Lucas explained calmly to his teacher. The teacher was wearing small square glasses that fits right at her face. She has a tight ponytail around her head and earring a light blue cardigan with grayish pencil skirts.

The teacher looked up at me and stood up, walking towards me and takes out her hand. "Hello, you must be Lucas' mom."

"Y-yeah.." oh my fucking god, did I just stutter? "I-I.."

"I'm Teacher Brittany, it's very nice to meet you in person. Lucas has been telling lots of stories about you."

"Yeah, he is a talkative boy." I chuckled and shook her hand shakily with my wet palms. "I-I'm Santana.."

"It's very nice to meet you, Ms. Lopez."

"The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Brittany."

—-

"Go and take her out!"

"N-No! I won't betray Hazel, she's the only woman I will ever going to love. I can't date someone else, it would hurt her!" I exclaimed on the phone as I turned my chair around in my office, my friend, Quinn Fabray, who is Hazel's best friend, has been my friend quite a while. Ever since Hazel died, she was there for me as a friend.

"I'm sure Hazel won't mind, she wants you to be free, Santana."

"How do you fucking know that, then? What are you? God?"

"No but I know her you fucker. Hazel just wants you to be happy, and right now, I bet she wants you to woo Lucas' teacher."

I rolled my eyes as I leaned back on my chair and sighed. I don't know if I should take this seriously, I mean, I think I'm having a little crush on Brittany. It's just a stupid crush.

I think.

"Whatever," I sighed through the phone and cleared my throat. "I'll have to get back to work, call ya later, Q."

"Aight, bye Lopez."

As soon as I hang up, my boss was watching me. With his arms crossed and a glare on his face. Uh-oh, I'm busted again. I gulped dryly and stood up from my chair, knowing that I will get fired. He leans closer to me and yelled, "This is your last warning, Lopez. If I see you with that god damn phone, I will fire you!"

Well that was embarrassing.

He growled at me and walked away. As I turned around, everyone is staring at me. Great, now I have made a crowd looking down on me. I hate myself right now. I shrugged and sat back on my chair, going back to work.

—

When I got home, Lucas wasn't in the living room. And, surprisingly, the nanny was awake and cleaning Lucas' toys. I closed the door behind me and took off my blazer, dropping it to the closest table I could find.

"Oh, you're home now, Ms. Lopez." the nanny said with a shaky tone. Once she got up and dusted off her shirt, I hummed and shoved my hand inside my pocket to get some money for her.

Once I gave her my money, she said, "Lucas has been crying for hours. He couldn't stop talking about how you are always gone, Ms. Lopez. No offense but, you need to spend some quality time with your son." Ouch. That hurt like a bitch.

I nodded in agreement and she walked out of my house as she gave me her opinion. It's true though, I don't have any time for my son.

—-

I somehow feel so excited to see Ms. Brittany again.

I woke up a little early this morning to get my day started, I dressed up with my revealing ass as I wore jeans. But I had to wear compression shorts so my "thing" won't show that much. As I was making coffee, I hear Lucas pulling a chair on our dining table and sitting on it, yawning with a word "Good morning, Mama."

"Morning, love!" I say cheerfully as I brought him a bowl of lucky charms with milk. He smiles brightly at the food and quickly takes one big bite on his spoonful of cereal.

"Guess what?" I whispered as I take a sip of my coffee. Lucas looked up and replied, "N-no, uh.."

"I'm taking to you school again!" I exclaimed as I gave him the biggest grin I haven't showed in so long. What is this affect on me? Seriously, I just met the girl yesterday. I don't actually know if she's single or gay or-

"Yay!" He clapped his hands together joyfully.

At least I made him smile today.

—-

"Come on, Mama! I'll be late!"

"H-Hold on! Don't run so fast, mijo!"

I was panting so hard that I feel like I was about to pass out any second, boy he runs fast. As I run through the hallways, carrying his little bag and lunchbox, we got inside the classroom and I felt like I was going to shit myself. There she is again, beautiful as ever. She was wearing a pink turtle neck shirt with long skirt with flower designs on it. And her hair, was all the way down on her shoulder, with those bangs too. God, this girl is madly beautiful..

"Hi Teacher Brittany!" Lucas exclaimed as he run towards his teacher and hugged her waist. The blonde chuckled so softly and replied with an enthusiastic tone.

"Good morning, Lucas!"

"S-sorry if he was late uh..we had to run some..errands." God, you're such a dumbass Lopez.

"That's fine! He's not late. In fact, class starts around 10 minutes." She giggles and walked to her desk. I watched her every movement, god just by watching her makes me drool.

"It's good seeing you again, Mrs. Lopez!"

"Y-yeah," I stuttered with a smile. "It's good seeing you too, Ms. Brittany."

"You can just call me Brittany, no need to be so polite." She chuckled softly. I stared at her beautiful eyes, well, they look rather gorgeous. I mean, they're so sparkly! How is she so beautiful!

"Oh uh..okay, Brittany." I chuckled. You did not just chuckle, Santana. Why would you do that?!

"Oh! I almost forgot," Brittany opened a little drawer from her desk and grabbed an envelope. She reaches it out to me and said, "This is a letter for our parents-teachers-conference, so you could get Lucas' card and all that."

I'm going to see her again.

"Thanks," I murmur as I gently took it from her, and I swore I brushed my hand against her. My stomach flipped and I could feel myself whimpering.

"I hope you could come and get his card, you should see his grades. It's not bad or anything, but your child is so smart Mrs. Lopez. He's an intelligent boy, I must say."

"Well, he got that from her mom," I say nonchalantly as I stare at Lucas, casually playing with his toy. "He is a smart boy. That's why I'm so proud of him."

"I'm sure Lucas is so lucky to have you, Mrs. Lopez. You are a good mother to him."

That made me stare at her. No one has ever told me that in such a long time, ever since my wife died. And now, after one year, I finally witness someone telling me that again. It felt so good because I don't want to let myself know that I'm a bad parent to him. Somehow, something is telling me that I should be a better mother to him because, I'm his only parent. And, I should give him more attention.

"R-really?" I stuttered softly.

"Yes! Because if you won't care or love him, he would be at the streets right now. Or, having some family problems and all that. But, I don't see that in him. He is a happy child, Mrs. Lopez."

"I guess so," I sighed deeply. "Thank you, for that you know.."

"It's not a problem, Mrs. Lopez." She giggled. Oh my god, keep giggling Brittany.

"I have to go," I muttered as I looked down on my watch. "I'll pick him up later. Goodbye for now, Brittany."

"It's been a pleasure talking to you, Mrs. Lopez."

I think I will fall in love again.