Hey guys! This is kind of a purely self-indulgent fic that got way out of hand. It was just supposed to be Rexsoka, with some angst there, but then it turned into mostly other sadness with Rexsoka to bookend it and make it happier. This has about 5 chapters so hang in there!

There aren't enough RexVader feels in the world so guess who decided to write some.

Please leave comment if you enjoy!

Chapter 1

Rex and Ahsoka run together towards the troop transports, with his brothers' blaster bolts singeing the air around them with near-deadly accuracy. Ahsoka's limping already, but they are fast enough that when the landscape changes and they take a sharp turn away from the transports, Rex's brothers don't seem to notice, and when they seem to have a clear moment, they stumble to a stop, heaving for breath, and look around. His vode are between them and the transports - Rex doesn't know how they can get past them. They stand there, panting quietly, staring towards the equal danger and safety of the 501st ships, both of them wracking their minds for a solution to this, a way to get them both offworld. It's Ahsoka who finally slumps and says, softly, "We'll have to wait them out."

She's right. As she turns to put more distance between them and the transports, to find somewhere to hide on Mandalore's scarred fields, Rex tries to follow. But as he turns his back on his vode, tries to walk away, something stops him. He tries to focus, but he can't - he stops, looks back, and Ahsoka notices and turns to face him.

He can't make himself leave. To walk away from his men now, to abandon them… It's impossible. They are his brothers, the people he's promised to protect. He had known that the chips in all of their heads were dangerous, and he had not found a way to save anyone but himself and Kix, who had listened to him. His brothers are doing this because he failed them. The Order that came over his holocomm had affected them, but not him, because of the biochips, and now everything they are seems buried, twisted up. He used to have nightmares, about this, and Tup's loss showed him what was coming - good soldiers follow orders. Something is wrong with his brothers now, they are not themselves. Rex feels almost as responsible for this as if he had given the order himself, because he knew how to help them. And now he could never forgive himself for letting them be used like this without trying to help.

"Rex," Ahsoka says, "Rex, come on."

For a moment, Rex is ready to go with her, torn by the idea of leaving her to fend for herself. He should go with her. She can't travel alone, because they'll be hunting her, he's sure of it. Whatever is happening, she's in danger, and so is Anakin, and almost certainly every other Jedi he's ever fought with. He had always promised her, with a kind of fatalistic hope, I won't leave you. I promise. Even though he wouldn't promise anything more than that, even as he was always sure this war was going to kill him before they could end it - he had still promised.

But his brothers have no one else but him. And he knows how to help them, that's the main sticking point - he can save them, he knows it, if he has the chance, so he can't leave.

"Ahsoka…" he says, and words stick in his throat. He thinks she recognizes what he's about to do before he does it, because her face falls. "I can't leave them," he says, low. How can it hurt so badly to say it when they both know it's true? He doesn't want to leave her, either, and it feels like a betrayal, to choose them over her. But they need him more, they always have. "I know how to help them, Ahsoka, if I didn't try I- I could never forgive myself."

She'd asked him to call her Ahsoka, when they arrived on Mandalore. He hadn't. He'd kept to formality, because there was still so much in the way. Later. He'd always told himself that they'd have time for all the things she seemed to be asking him for, before she left. He'd thought that someday when she looked at him and touched cool fingers to his cheek he could kiss her back instead of telling her that they couldn't, he'd thought that someday when the war was over and she asked him what he wanted to do with his freedom, he could tell her he'd like to travel the whole galaxy with her. He had always hoped that they'd have time in the future. When the war was over. When it was done.

But he can't, now. Because the war's not ending at all, and there's still no time, and his brothers still need him far more than she does. She'll find Anakin, Kenobi, someone. Senator Amidala can offer her somewhere to stay, if it comes to it. Right now, he can protect her, buy her time to leave, and then he'll save his brothers too.

Ahsoka shakes her head a little, and he knows she's going to argue even though she clearly knows there's no convincing him otherwise. "What are you going to do, Rex, they know you didn't try to kill me and you can't take on the whole battalion alone."

Rex smiles at her, wry, though she can't see past his helmet. His throat is burning and he feels like he might cry. "I'll tell them I tricked you and shot you out here. You can hide and take a chance to get away when we're gone."

"You're going with them." She's exhausted, and seems hollowed out now.

"I have to." He almost whispers it. Please understand. "I'm sorry."

She's quiet, for a long minute, looking at him, and she has the same resigned look on her face she has so often had when he's pushed her away and said not yet. Then she looks down and unhooks her sabers from her belt, which confuses him briefly until she presses them reluctantly into his hands. "They won't believe I'm dead if there's no proof," she tells him.

He swallows. "I'm sorry," he repeats. "Thank you."

She nods, and he draws his blasters and fires a few blasts into the ground, knowing that will draw attention. And then all of a sudden Ahsoka's arms are around his waist and her forehead is pressed against his cuirass, and he blinks back tears and hugs her back, tightly. "Be safe," he says.

"You too."

He waits until she's disappeared from view before igniting one of her sabers and scoring smoking lines in his armor, cutting one of his DCs in half to drop on the ground. Without a body, maybe they still won't believe him. But this is as good as he can do.

He runs back in the direction of the battalion, meets them by the transports where they've fanned out in a search formation. Jesse almost shoots him anyway until Rex holds up her sabers, forces indifference and formality and contempt. "She's been eliminated," he says, and Jesse takes one saber, consideringly, then looks at him and nods once, saluting.

"Good work, Captain," he says.

Rex aches. And behind Jesse, with the rest of their squad, Rex can see Kix, who gives him the smallest nod.

Rex will have to get Kix the chance to leave, too.

That happens when they arrive on Coruscant at the GAR barracks. They are being ordered to join other battalions at the Jedi Temple - Rex can only assume they are meant to try to take the place over. Before they do that, though, he peels off from the squad for a moment, claiming he needs a new blaster, and Kix meets him in the armory, where Rex has pulled his helmet off and is struggling to breathe regardless. Kix yanks his helmet off too and all but crashes into Rex, pressing their foreheads together and shaking his head a little. "She's alive?" he asks, as if he really needs to, his voice not even a whisper.

Rex nods. "She is. She'll be okay." He's afraid to say it out loud, but he does anyway. He wishes Ahsoka hadn't given him her sabers, knows that really she could have demanded he come with her, could have just said his plan wouldn't work if she wasn't really dead and they would have gone. But she helped him instead, and he owes her to make it worth it. "You need to go," he says, and predictably, Kix shakes his head.

"No," he snaps. "No, I can't leave Jesse, and you can't do this by yourself, Rex."

"I'm not. But if I- When I get our vode out, I need somewhere to send them. Someone who can help them."

Kix's expression hardens, and then he steps back. "That's why I have to stay," he says, quietly. "How are you gonna get their chips out, Rex?"

Rex has to admit, suddenly, that he doesn't know. That he had overlooked that because he managed his own chip surgery alone with a GAR meddroid. He looks down, rubs his hands together, hard. "Kix, I-"

"Shut up." Kix forces a smile. "We'll make it work, Captain. We'll get them out."

"I know." Rex nods, and that's it. He chooses a new DC, not modified like the old, and they rejoin their brothers.

He learns that all the Jedi generals have been killed by their own troops. He learns that Kenobi, General Koon, Secura, Windu… they're all declared dead. And unlike with Ahsoka, it's not a lie. And he and his battalion are sent to the Senate building to guard it from attackers, from Jedi.

There's no word about Anakin.

Nothing makes sense. Jedi keep dying. Brothers keep coming back to Coruscant and all of them act wrong - not like people, and not like themselves. The Chancellor announces that the Jedi are traitors to the Republic, which he calls an Empire, now. Admiral Tarkin, seemingly unphased by the turn of events, reviews the troops, and demands Ahsoka's lightsabers from Rex. "You killed her yourself, did you not, Captain?" he asks, and Rex forces himself to be steady.

"Yes, sir."

"Excellent. Her lightsabers, please."

Rex knows he can't keep them. He knows there's no reason for him to keep them, no reason for him to argue that he ought to hold onto them. He still has to steel himself to keep from shuddering as he takes the weapons off his belt and hands them to Tarkin. The Admiral looks satisfied, settles his arms behind his back with the sabers in hand, and looks him over. "Torrent Company has a new designation," he says, offhandedly. "You, and those like you who have proven yourselves against the Jedi threat, have been given an assignment straight from the Emperor. Some of the Jedi have managed to evade our forces, and some may try to continue their uprising. You will be part of a force to address this threat."

Rex's heart drops in his chest. "Yes, sir," he says.

That is when Rex finally finds Cody again.

In the GAR barracks, when the rest of their new Jedi execution force has assembled, when Rex's own Torrent Company is mingling with Ghost Company and some others of the best of their brothers, the elite. Then Cody, in his familiar armor, strides up to Rex and nods to him. "CT-7567," he says, and something in Rex breaks. But he promises himself he'll fix this. He has to, this is why he's here.

"CC-2224," he says, his voice even. "Good work."

"Likewise." Cody looks around. "Who is our commanding officer, have they told you?"

"No." Rex shakes his head. He would have assumed Cody, but if not Cody, then… Who would they put in charge of a Jedi-killing force that is not already here? Surely not the Emperor himself, or Tarkin.

Cody grunts in acknowledgement, and they all stand in ranks at attention, waiting. That too is so unlike them - before, brothers who were waiting for a new assignment, or to meet a new commanding officer, would never be standing in silence, not moving, not speculating on who the new commander would be. But there's not a murmur out of Cody, or Jesse, or any of the others.

The barracks' door opens, and a tall, grim figure sweeps through it, footsteps heavy and slightly disjointed on the smooth floor. The figure wears all black, a cloak and armored boots and chest piece, and a helmet with inhuman eyes, bulging and unblinking. Their breath rattles through a modulator, and they are carrying a lightsaber in one gloved fist.

Rex realizes, immediately, that this is some kind of Sith, and he glances at Kix and begins to arrange his mental shields, quietly, because if a Force-user pays too much attention to him, they'll know that he's not like the others. He knows Kix will be shoring up his shields, too. They had learned, as cadets, how to protect their minds from control and persuasion, and over the course of the war Rex had only strengthened those mental shields, because if nothing else, he would be assured of his own thoughts.

Here, he knows this may be the only thing that will protect him.

It's one thing for him and Kix to pretend that they're under the control of an inhibitor chip to natborn officers, or even their brothers. But how are they supposed to keep their emotions in check well enough to fool a Sith, who can feel their emotions? Rex's shields have withstood Sith before, but this is all so much - what if he can't do it?

He forces those thoughts away, determinedly, and breathes in and out. What is it Ahsoka used to say, about the Jedi releasing their emotions? Maybe he can learn to do that, somehow - to let go. For now, he imagines that he feels nothing. He imagines that he's not afraid, not struggling, and he forms his shields tight around his mind.

The Sith strides slow and methodical over to them, and Rex feels his spine straighten at attention, and he is grateful for his helmet. The Sith's head turns slowly, as they take a long look across their ranks, then their black gaze lands on Rex himself, and their fists curl and open at their sides.

"Captain Rex." The Sith's voice is sonorous, deep, rasps unnaturally, and sends a horrible chill through Rex's chest - he forces himself to be still. Who is this? Why does he know Rex's name - and why is he singling him out? Gods, Rex can't fail now. "You are the one who killed Ahsoka Tano?"

Rex nods once. "Yes, sir," he says.

The Sith is just looking at him, and there is nothing to read from his posture, his helmeted face, his curled fists. Rex looks back at him and does not let himself be afraid. "You will be acting as my second in command," the Sith says, and then looks at the rest of them. Rex sees Cody stiffen, almost as if he's bitter. Maybe he is - he should be second in command, if rank were being observed. "You will address me as Lord Vader. You will report directly to me, and work to weed out the last of the Jedi threat." He adjusts his gloves, and his faceplate turns toward Rex again. "You have already proven yourselves quite capable."

Rex knows he's missing something about this Sith. Is it the one Kenobi has been chasing after, Maul? Another assassin of Dooku's? Dooku himself? He doesn't understand, and he knows he can't ask questions, and he can't afford to be distracted from his purpose by trying to look into the identity of a Sith. The fact that he is a Sith, and is killing the Jedi, is enough.

Vader turns as if to go, and then turns back and looks straight at Rex again. "Get your armor replaced, Captain," he says. "I see the Jedi damaged it."

Rex inclines his head. "It will serve, sir."

The Sith makes a thoughtful sound, then sweeps out of the room, his boots sounding like thunder on the floor. Rex chokes back a sigh of relief and doesn't let himself relax. "At ease," he tells the others, and they settle into parade rest. He thinks they are unhappy with the turn of events - he is a Captain, and an NCO at that, and there are two marshal commanders and several battalion commanders among them. He should not be the second in command, yet here he is.

"Well, CT-7567," Cody says, his voice definitely colored with bitterness. "You got your promotion."

Rex nods tersely. "It appears so."

For what feels like a long time, but is in actuality only a few weeks, Rex simply tries to learn the terrain. They're installed in a different barracks, one which was clearly used for the Coruscant Guard previously. Their bunks are divided into smaller rooms, twenty bunks to a room. Rex claims a bunk over Kix's, the two of them in the corner of the room, which feels more private, so that they can take some comfort in each other when they are surrounded by the indifference of their vode. Rex learns the layout of the barracks and the connected mess, medbay, training rooms, armory - all originally GAR, but no longer. The armory fills up with new gear, which none of his vode touch - it's even poorer-quality plastoid, shiny as hells, flimsy and doesn't fit for shit. They have their original armor, and they continue to wear it, although it earns them derision from the incompetent new natborn troopers and the officers whose disdain is fiercer, crueler than it once was.

Vader doesn't come back, not for a few weeks. And Rex grows more and more overwhelmed by what he has become embroiled in, the fact that he and Kix can barely make a move that no one else knows about, the fact that they don't know how to get any of their brothers through the surgery and keep them quiet and sane enough afterward to hide it all from Vader.

"I can't do this," Kix tells him, in a soft, breathy Mando'a whisper, just once, when they're in the mess. Their first assignment is looming - they've been tracking General Unduli for a week now. They're going to take her in and then kill her. Rex can't think about it. Why is he doing this? "Rex, what are we doing? We can't even use our own brothers' names."

"We'll get them out." Rex feels just as sick, lets that come through so that Kix knows that he understands. "We just need more time, Kix, it's gotta be worth it. We can- help more people." Kix glances up at him, his eyes narrowing, and he knows Kix catches the double meaning in his words. That they can't just help kill the Jedi. That they need to try to save them, instead.

"Rex…" Kix says. "We can't fix everything at once."

"I know. But we have to save everyone we can."

But they aren't able to save Unduli. Vader reappears to go on that mission with them, and Rex does not have a strategy yet, and neither does Kix, and their force was chosen because they are the ones who know Jedi, who know how to fight Jedi.

Vader is horrifically strong. That is what Rex takes away from the strike, because although he remembers General Unduli as being an intelligent fighter, good with the Force, Vader finishes their fight in a matter of minutes, and Rex and Kix have to help drag her back to Coruscant and throw her in a cell - her capture is televised, her execution is unceremonious.

In the middle of the night, after it all, when Rex is sure the others are sleeping, he curls up small and tries not to cry: for the General, for all the Jedi, for Ahsoka and Anakin and Kenobi, for his brothers. Not for the first or the last time, then, he thinks that he can't do this.

He and Kix learn how to slice into the medbay cameras. Learn that small pieces of equipment, like surgical pieces, can be pocketed and kept. Learn that Vader is gone more often than not between assignments, or during their smaller missions. Learn that these things will allow them to do what they have to. The first brother they manage to get to the medbay is more a lucky move than a skillful one, a younger clone named Denal whom they pull from the barracks at night. They take out his chip, and are there when he wakes up to quiet him, to tell him it'll be okay, they'll get him out, it's alright.

It's touch and go, too close, too hard to help him, but they make it work.

There are a few others in the months after that, but Rex doesn't know how to get them out of the Empire. The clones have no leeway, although they still have more than most. They are hated, and feared, and Vader knows everything they do - Rex doesn't know how to sneak his brothers away, or where to. Cody and Jesse know him and Kix too well - they have to keep a tight hold on their emotions and a tighter hold on their actions and words. Rex sometimes feels that he is going to forget his brothers' names altogether, so he lies awake at night and reminds himself of their names. Cody, Jesse, Bly, Wolffe, Gregor, Akaan, Ket, Brii, Boil, so many of them. And then he silently says his remembrances of the dead, with Anakin and Kenobi's names included in the list of the dead, although a part of him still hopes that somehow Anakin is still alive.

Ahsoka is not dead. It's a small, but genuine, comfort. He knows he hurt her, he knows she may miss him, but she's alive and thus far she's safe, and that's the important thing. Sometimes, Rex still finds himself imagining a future where they would not be in a war or fighting or hunted, and they would just be able to be them. With his brothers and his General close by, too.

None of that can happen now. But it's comforting to imagine.