May 1st, 2012: So, how to start this? I've been wanting to start a diary for forever, now. Though, now I don't really know what I want to write about. Let's see, I guess we could do introductions. My name's Matthias Harrison, or Matheo for short. I'm 6 years old. People say it's a lame nickname, but I think it's pretty... You know, me. I live with my 2 other twin siblings, Todd, and Kate. Between you and me, They're probably the worst people I've ever met, but don't tell them I said that.

Regardless, over the past few weeks, I've made friends with this kid at school, his name's Tobias Jr. (Though everyone just calls him Junior.) He's awesome, we've been doing everything together, even sharing quite a few of our classes. I don't really pass my classes, but it doesn't matter. Todd and Kate don't exactly soar with flying colors either, to be honest.

My parents are out of the picture. I never met them. Me and my siblings live at an orphanage, but it's not like we get along with the kids there. They bully Kate for being too ugly, which she deserves, and they don't talk to Todd, for whatever reason. As for me, I dunno. Maybe they like me, maybe they don't. In 12 years, we'll be out of here. Nobody's gonna adopt us, though. I know that much. People have to like you for that to happen.

Speaking of Todd, the strangest thing's been happening with him lately. See, he used to be a real huge fan of this guy named 'Ben Tennyson,' kind of a local kid hero, who just does... Something, I guess, because people really like him, but I never understood why. Now he's always going outside of the orphanage, and playing make-believe in the yard, away from the other kids, pretending to find his own Omnitrix, and save the world, or whatever.

I always try to talk him out of it, but a regular conversation between us goes like this:

"Yo, Toddie, why don't you quit pretending to be liked, and go make some actual friends, you loser?" I'd say, injecting an insult in there for purely motivational purposes.

"Why don't you?" That weirdo would say, hanging upside down from a tree branch.

"Because, I don't need friends. I'm a strong-minded individual, who can function without the influence of others. I kinda feel bad for you, though, since you do."

"I don't need friends!"

"Sure."

And then we'd walk away from each other. Of course, I try different tactics. Reverse psychology, bombarding him, or just plain begging. I've even offered to take him under my wing a time or two, but he refuses! And Kate and I don't talk to each other, period. Talking to her is just so exhausting. She always has something to say, or retort.

So, yeah. Now do you get why I don't like what little I have left of my family? … Ugh, maybe if my parents were around, they'd whip those two into shape, and we'd be off, in a loving family, with friends, galore, and... Well, whatever. That's not gonna happen. Our parents were officially declared dead, a while ago. Todd still holds out hope they'll come back, but I mean, come on. If I was a parent, I dunno if I'd come back for us, anyway.

So, that's my life. All caught up. As you can imagine, not too much happens here, on a regular basis. Sometimes, a couple comes in, looking to adopt a kid, but not us. Never us. I guess they'd have to adopt all 3 of us, and that'd cost too much, so... Well, whatever. If money's an issue, I don't wanna live with them anyway.

I guess I could talk about my intelligence. When we were welcomed into the orphanage, they took the liberty of testing me and my siblings' intelligence. Todd and Kate tested average, you know, for toddlers, But I was off. The. Charts. I don't really get why, but my vocabulary's far beyond that of your average 8-year-old's, and I'm always tinkering with little scraps of metal, just trying to see how they fit together.

It honestly can't be explained by anybody, I was just born smart, apparently. And I love it. I love flexing my superior brain on everyone else, I love telling people how smart I am for my age, and I love it how when anything goes wrong, my siblings come to me. It's awesome. Oh, hold on.

Okay, I'm back. It was breakfast time, and we all had to go to the cafeteria. The food's alright. It's better than nothing, I suppose. Anyways, my siblings whined about how much they wanna go out, and see the world, and be someone, and blah, blah, blah. I told them that we were gonna spend the rest of our childhood locked up in here, with nobody to love, or care for us.

They told me to shut up.

I hate when they do that. Anyways, I told them that I'd probably get adopted then they would, because I had talent, and I hated them, so I'd let them take me, and only me, while they continued to stay in here, like they deserved. In response, Kate lunged over the table, and beat me up. I cried, but not a lot, and had to be taken to the nurse's office. Those 2 jerks are in real big trouble, probably gonna go straight to their dorms.

I just hate being here. With them. Every day, for as long as I can remember. Now it's time for school, I guess, Whoopee. Time to go relearn everything, yay.

I'm back, and oh man! You wouldn't believe what happened, diary! Okay, so I was at lunch with Junior, and I was talking about how much I hated being me, when Junior piped up, with a brilliant idea:

"Why can't you just adopt yourself?"

SEE?! What did I tell you?! BRILLIANT! Sitting around and whining about my situation will solve nothing! I've gotta do this myself! I have an inkling of a plan, but I'll still need more information, more planning, and, unfortunately, more time to finalize my plan. But when I do, it'll be epic. I'll have my own house! Todd and Kate will be stuck here forever, and it's gonna be absolutely awesome!

Okay, so here's how it's gonna go down. I'm gonna sleep on this issue, and tomorrow, I'll let you know what I come up with. Well, good night, diary.

P.S. Todd snores, REALLY loud.

P.P.S. His leg is hanging over the bunk... Maybe I could...

P.P.P.S. I'm currently in detention for yanking Todd off of the bunk bed. I hate my life.