Varian wasn't one to admit when he was hurting. In fact, he preferred to just ignore it and treat it like a mild inconvenience. Get a little bit annoyed at the feelings that he'd be better off without, then simply act like they weren't there. Now, of course he'd prefer to actually just not feel bad, or that he could have some form for comfort, and when he was younger both of those used to be the case, but after the whole thing with the amber, he had really just gotten used to dealing with his problems alone. Sometimes even letting himself be consumed by his feelings, but he couldn't really do that now, as he was supposed to be a good guy.

Yeah... he was supposed to be a good guy, he reminded himself, as his fists tensed and his face felt hot with a burning anger he never asked for. An anger he couldn't get rid of. An anger that he could never tell anyone about because what wouldn't they think of him? They'd hate him. So Varian didn't speak. He just stayed quiet, trying to bury it deeper and deeper.

Until, one day, it was too much, and he just couldn't hide it. Rapunzel had been sending him worried looks the whole morning, trying to push a bit to figure out what was wrong, while Varian time and time again insisted that he was fine. He really wasn't, but if he told her, he'd be all alone again. He was sure of it.

It was going well with acting fine for a little while, then Eugene made some stupid joke about whatever, Varian didn't even remember, and Varian had lost it. He hadn't even said anything, just got up, left and slammed the door so hard that he was surprised it didn't break. He didn't even know he had that kind of strength in him, but apparently he had.

He had walked the whole way home from the castle, not even paying any mind to anything, just walking. His whole body tense with anger. Getting home he ignored his dad's greeting, walking straight to his room, just wanting to get away from everyone and everything. He felt like punching something, but instead he threw himself on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. As he did, he suddenly felt all his anger disappear, as he felt despair, sadness and exhaustion wash over him as his pillow turned wet. He laid there on his bed for hours, just crying his eyes out, wishing that everything would just go away.

After a while he Ruddiger's small paw against his side, as Ruddiger squeezed under his arm to lay eith him, giving out comforting chitters. Varian cried into his fur, letting himself be comforted by Ruddiger's presence. When his dad came to check on him later that night he was fast asleep andthe tear stains on his cheeks had dried.

When Varian woke up, he thought that he had once again managed to successfully hide his feelings from everyone else, and so he wasn't expecting Rapunzel to come by to check on him the next morning.

Varian was in the middle of fiddling around in his lap, doing small nothings, as a voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Hey." Varian flinched, taken by surprise by the sudden sound.

"Oh, hey, Rapunzel." He faked a smile, confident that it looked real. "What are you doing here?"

Rapunzel blinked. Not sure what to think. She'd prepared herself for a few different scenarios, but none of them had included Varian being seemingly fine. Mad? Maybe. Sad? Most likely. But alright? After his reaction yesterday? Not exactly. "I... I came to check on you. You left quite sudden yesterday, so I wanted to make sure you were feeling okay..?"

"Oh, yeah I'm doing fine, sorry. I just wasnt feeling so well yesterday." He gave out a small laugh. Sure that he'd sold it, Rapunzel didn't seem convinced though. She gave him a doubtful look, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "Varian," she tried to catch his eyes, while he pretended that the bird flying by outside was a thousand times more interesting. "you know that you can talk to me if something is wrong, right?" Yeah sure he could. And then never again, because she'd hate him. Be scared of him.

"Yeah I know." He gave her a bright smile, finally meeting her eyes. "I'm fine though. No need to worry." She gave his shoulder a tight squeeze.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Yeah, nothing personal, I'm just a bit busy."

"And you're sure everything is fine?"

He gave her a reassuring smile, they both knew it was a lie, but she gave him a tight hug, then she left. After all, what else could she do, if he didn't want to talk?