Sidney Parker's sudden appearance and declaration so discomposed Charlotte that she spent the remainder of her journey home in a higher state of agitation than she began it, as great as that had been. She had spoken the truth to him; she knew him to have been speaking the truth to her. But why? Why, when it was all hopeless and nothing could be accomplished by it. He was to marry Mrs. Campion and he would have to love Mrs. Campion. She would not think badly of him for entering into a marriage of convenience to save his brother from ruin. Indeed, he had loved Mrs. Campion before, and love could grow again where he had previously bloomed. Charlotte was sure that, after some time, Mr. Parker would find more than just companionship in his marraige. And yet, his words raced through her mind, taunting her with the fact of his love for her, not Mrs. Campion, despite her knowledge that she would never know that love to come to fruition.
And in such unhappy reflection, so passed the hours until Charlotte arrived home. Fortunately, the joy of seeing her beloved family again, after so long apart, took her mind away from Sanditon and Mr. Sidney Parker. Her parents' joy and her siblings' excitement at having her back amongst their number lifted her spirits; indeed, it was not until after the day had passed and she found herself tucked in bed with her sister that her mind turned back to the unhappy matter. Fortunately, exhaustion quickly rescued her from the whirlpool of thoughts threatening to pull her down.
The following weeks were not wholly miserable, as perhaps ought to be expected for one suffering an irreparably broken heart. But Charlotte was home, and there were friends to meet, and walks to take, and stories to tell. It may not be romantic to fail to spend the ensuing weeks in miserable wretchedness, pining after her lost love, but Charlotte was not given to ill humor, nor to wallowing in self-pity. Rather, her active and lively nature overcame the sadness that she felt. Moreso, the ability to share her adventures with her family and friends occupied her days and reminded her that despite how it ended, her time in Sanditon had been delightful, with many new and good acquaintances to be had. Charlotte found joy in telling those in Willingden about the sea and the exciting developments in which she had taken part.
Alison, her sister closest in age and understanding, knew something had happened. She saw something subdued in Charlotte and asked her about it one afternoon as they were walking back from town.
"Charlotte, I am so glad to have you home with us, but it seems you have left a part of you behind. Is everything alright?"
"Oh, everything is perfectly fine," Charlotte tried to assure her.
"Are you sure? Please, confide in me, it is better to relieve your heart of its burdens."
At this, Charlotte could not hold herself in any more. She did not have the temper for containing her emotions and they must find some release, if not in a dramatic or sensational way. "Oh my dearest, I felt… I thought… I believed myself to be in love. I was, and am. But he is to marry another and my heart is broken for it."
What is there to say to such a declaration? Alison held her hand and murmured affection and assurances that she would always have her love, and her apologies that Charlotte's first foray into the arena of love should have resulted so. But her statements that he was undeserving and that Charlotte would find better could have no hold, at least yet. The wound was too fresh, and the circumstances that divided them spoke to his honor in sacrificing his happiness for his brother and family. But at least, upon opening up to her sister, Charlotte had a confidante and did not have to dwell on her thoughts alone. She could speak them, and receive comfort, and she began the slow journey to healing.
A few weeks after her return, a letter arrived from Mrs. Parker, which took Charlotte several days to open, afraid it contained that news which she could not bear to know, for until she was told of it, she could believe Mr. Parker to be unmarried. Fortunately, the letter contained no such information, only general news about the cleanup from the fire and the plans for the rebuild. Mr. Parker was mentioned at the end, but only in a brief reference explaining that wedding preparations were taking significant time and there was still no fixed date.
This news relieved Charlotte, until she convinced herself that it shouldn't. He would marry Mrs. Campion, he must marry Mrs. Campion. In a fit of anger, Charlotte wished him to quickly finish the matter and be done with it, if for no other reason to stamp out the tiny kernel of hope that nestled in her heart.
It was around that time that Charlotte wrote to Lady Susan, as she had not written to her for some weeks, since just after the regatta. In careful, clear language, Charlotte explained the developments without giving too many details. She told of the fire, of Mr. Parker's removal to London, and of his return and announcement of his betrothal. She did not, however, disclose the personal talks he and she had shared, their special moments together, and the joyful hope she had cherished until seeing him the evening of his return. Lady Susan had known of his interactions with Mrs. Campion and it could not come as a surprise to her to believe him merely to have decided to grasp at the happiness that was stolen from him in his youth. Better that than to know the unhappy truth, that the elder Mr. Parker faced ruin and bankruptcy and Sidney was doing what he could to save the family. Charlotte might not have a claim on the Parker name, but she could protect it to the best of her ability.