Attack on Titan by Hajime Isayama. I don't take any material advantage by writing this story.
This fanfiction is my very first contribution to EreAnnie although I had shipped them since the very first time I watched Attack on Titan in 2017 (yes, that was soo late). I finally manage and present this for Ereannieweek2020! This should be for the second day prompt, rebirth | reincarnation, but I couldn't make it in time
Warning: Grammatical errors.
...
Annie has never owned a dress except for the dresses that her dad bought when she was still a kid. It's not really her style and she doesn't need one. She always refuses to go to a party anyway. She likes skinny jeans and hoodies better. The idea of fashion inside her head is anything that's comfortable and easy to wear. Dresses definitely aren't on the list.
In the middle of accompanying Hitch doing shopping for the prom, a particular dress attracts her eyes. The dress fits perfectly on its mannequin. Its color is red. It looks like 1940s dresses because of the short sleeves, wrinkles on the breasts and hips, and a ban with the exact color and material with every part of the dress on the waist. It has some black buttons right in front of it. She wonders why this dress is even here—in 2018—when the other styles in the store are fulfilling the trends nowadays.
Her eyes search for any worker and when she spots one, she waves her hand. Hitch is gone to the changing room so she doesn't have to think about any commentary that probably will come from her friend's mouth.
"Can I help you?" asks the worker.
"Can I buy this dress?" asks Annie without missing a beat. She doesn't even know the price of the dress yet, but the strong urge to buy it convinces her. Her finger points to the mannequin.
"Please wait for a minute, Miss."
The worker is gone but Hitch is back. Annie feels something uncomfortable in the middle of her throat. Awkwardness surrounds her entire body thinking about the worker will be back and take the dress off of the mannequin then give it to her.
"I'm done. I'll buy this dress," Hitch says. She motions the elegant baby blue dress back and forth. She looks at it with glimmers in her eyes. "Isn't it beautiful?"
Annie takes a look at the dress and just nods. She becomes agitated when she sees the worker walk towards her. The worker smiles. She undoes the dress from the mannequin and gives it to her. "Here it is, Miss."
Annie clears her throat and nods. "Thank you."
"The changing room is over there if you want to try this on first."
"I don't need to." Because Annie is sure the dress will fit her perfectly and she won't change her mind since she had never ever wanted a dress as much as her longing right now.
The worker nods. "Please just call me if you need anything." She goes and leaves Annie with Hitch behind.
She can feel Hitch's surprised gaze on her. Suddenly she feels dizzy.
"So you decide to accept Eren's invitation to the prom? What? You had never told me this." She looks pissed and Annie just rolls her eyes.
"Buying a dress doesn't mean I agree to go to the prom with him. You know I dislike that kind of thing."
"So where would you wear this dress?" Hitch observes the dress. "And why did you pick this one anyway? You don't even want to try this on first?" She narrows her eyes. "It looks … old."
"I know."
"Annie, I could pick you something better—"
"I don't wanna."
Hitch lets out a long breath and rolls her eyes. "Whatever." She walks first then takes a glance at Annie. "Let's pay for my beautiful dress and your …," she wrinkles her nose, "your great grandmother's old dress."
Annie wants to respond with a smart remark, but thinking that it would be a hassle, she just lets it go. She follows Hitch to the cashier and pays for the dress right after her close friend did. Luckily, she brings a pretty much amount of money although she didn't have an intention to buy anything except desserts. Her father insisted on letting her bring them all after he had heard that she would accompany Hitch to buy a dress for the prom. In case you want to buy one too, he said. Annie told him no but still brought the money to comply with what her father asked in the end.
After they are done with the transaction, they go to the cake shop to buy some desserts. Annie can't buy as many as she intended because her money went for the dress, but she regrets nothing. Her father's smile when he sees her bringing a dress home makes her day so much better.
…
The boys from the taekwondo club are sparing one by one in the gym. The girls will get their turn right after the boys are done with their spar. There are a lot of people to be watched, but Annie's focus comes to Eren and every movement he does. Pathetic, Annie says mentally. He always gives her impressions that he is pathetic at this but still pays attention to him anyway. She folds her arms in front of her chest and shakes her head when once again Eren got kicked.
Since the very first day they met, back in the first grade of high school, there's something inside Eren that always attracts Annie every time they pass each other. Her eyes always follow him until he disappears from her eyesight. It's not something romantic, she knows. She doesn't have a crush on him. She's sure if she tells anyone about this, they would romanticize it like that. But it's far from that. It feels like they're familiar with something that she couldn't understand.
She realizes that he does the same, but she always pretends like she doesn't know. Maybe, Eren is also aware that he gets her attention but acts like he knows nothing too. Sometimes he asks her to teach him how to kick asses and makes him win the spar. She assumed that he asked her because she always got the best grade for it. At the very first request, Annie was about to say no because she knew it wouldn't be a one-time thing, but she didn't know why she eventually agreed. Maybe because of the ununderstandable attraction she had for him, or maybe because she was feeling emphatic for his patheticness.
Annie has planned to leave the club earlier than usual because she knows Eren will approach her and ask her to teach him again. It means she has to give him the answer to the prom invitation too. She currently has no idea what to answer. She needs more time. It feels weird that she couldn't just deny him from the start because something like prom is absolutely not her thing. She really wonders why.
"Annie!" Eren calls. Annie closes her eyes and expels a long breath. Her attempt to run away failed.
She turns her body to face him. Her heart is beating so loud until she is afraid that he will hear it. She swallows her saliva and nods. Her eyes are full of questions.
"I still can't master what you teach," he complains. "It has been, what, almost four months?!"
Eren just joined the club five months ago. It was considered late because this was their senior year and it wasn't time for joining a club for the first time. She doesn't know his reason and doesn't bother to ask, it's his business anyway. But it makes him be the lamest one if compared to all of the seniors inside the club. He still has the same ban as the first grade.
"Maybe I'm not a good teacher," says Annie with an indifferent tone. "You can ask other people."
Eren shakes his head. "That's not what I mean. It's just me who's pathetic. You're great, Annie. Everything you told is catchable and easy to comprehend. I understand everything but I'm just bad at executing."
Annie takes some steps towards Eren until they are only separated by one meter. She poses the fighting stance and looks straight to Eren's eyes.
"Attack me. I won't defend. I'll try my best to evaluate your mistake."
He controls his breathing before obeying what she has told. He pulls her collar and kicks her feet until she falls. Annie presses her chin to her neck to prevent her head from bumping the floor.
"It feels easy because you don't defend! It won't happen in a spar."
Annie gets up, fixes his fighting stance, and presses his shoulders. "Relax. You're too tense." She doesn't know if she is just imagining, but she can hear his fastened heartbeat. When she feels Eren's muscles are relaxing, she pulls her hand off of him. "Do it again."
He does it again and again until she tells him that he is much better. She reminds him to not be tense but push his strength as far as he can.
"Just practice more. Kick and punch a punching bag or something. You'll be better." Annie swipes her forehead that's covered with perspiration. "I'm off." Annie turns around and swiftly takes some steps away from Eren.
"Have you had your answer?" Eren asks loudly.
Annie is startled. She couldn't move at all. She closes her eyes and controls her breathing. Her throat feels dry.
"Answer for what?" she asks, pretending that she forgets. She doesn't even face him.
She hears Eren clearing his throat. "I asked you to go to the prom with me."
"Oh. That." Annie takes a long breath before turning her body. Heat is forming in her face. She tries so hard to look straight to his eyes without acting like a coy girl. "Honestly, I don't like being in the middle of the crowd. The prom will put me in a hard situation."
"So you refuse," Eren doesn't hide his disappointment in his voice at all.
"But I have a dress." Annie contemplates for a while. Her right hand touches her left shoulder, feeling awkward. "I don't think I have a chance to wear it except for the prom." The light in Eren's eyes is brightening. She tries so hard to fight her smile. "My dress is red. Take note of that for the corsage."
She turns her body and walks swiftly. Her heart drops when Eren holds her wrist. "I don't know where to pick you."
Annie wriggles her hand until he releases it. "I'll text you my address."
She almost runs and dimly hears he said "thank you" in between.
…
Annie has no idea how to put makeup on her face. Hitch was excited when she heard that Annie finally decided to go to the prom. She wanted to dress Annie up but she also will have the need to dress herself first. They both will go to the same prom at the same time. So she ended up borrowing Annie some of her makeup and gave her a short beauty class. Still, Annie doesn't know what to do and has to dig some direction from YouTube.
Her father said that she looked beautiful and she hopes he was being honest. He seems happy seeing her in a dress, with her hair laid down, and makeup that emphasizes her pretty face. His face features change after seeing Eren picking her up. He gives him a vicious look but still takes some photos of them both before they are leaving.
"Sorry, my father's not usually like that," says Annie when they are already in Eren's car. Her gaze is on the corsage that wraps her wrist and at the same flower on Eren's tuxedo. It looks beautiful. The color of the roses is ivory and it has a red bow. She wonders if he asked his adoptive sister's or mother's opinion about picking the corsage.
"So you had another guy that ever came to your house," Eren mutters with a distasteful tone.
Annie narrows her eyes. "No."
"But you said that your father was not usually like that."
"Yes. I mean towards me."
Annie feels that her blood is flowing faster when she hears Eren's pure laugh and smile. "Of course."
"How about Mikasa?" asks Annie, thinking about her rival in some things and Eren's adoptive sister. She expects that Mikasa would be upset hearing Eren take her to the prom and wonders how he finally manages.
"What's with her?"
"She doesn't like me."
Eren chuckles. "She gave me the same look as your father's but just let it go. I don't like that she goes to the prom with someone I dislike too, so we're even."
"Who? Jean?"
Eren snorts. "Who else?"
Annie camouflages her giggle with a cough.
When they arrive, Eren holds Annie's arm when she is about to open the door. "Let me open it for you," he says. Her face burns and she's sure its color is red but not because of the blush on. Her heart is beating faster when he takes her hand after opening the door and doesn't let it go.
"Is it okay?" Eren asks.
Annie just nods because she loses her voice. She is sure she doesn't have a crush on him that's why she thinks everything that she feels right now is weird. Maybe it's because of the idea of going to prom as a couple and it goes like how some romantic movies portrayed them. She still walks awkwardly and she guesses Eren can feel that. He squeezes her hand and she becomes calmer.
They take a picture in the photo booth once. Annie feels that everyone's eyes are on her. Maybe because she is known as a lone wolf but somehow goes to the prom with a guy. Eren is really understanding, he takes her to the place that's free from the crowd. He tells her to sit and he fetches two glasses of punch for them. He sits right beside her. They enjoy the silence between them. Although she doesn't like a crowded place like this, she unexpectedly feels comfortable.
Eren puts his glass on the table and turns his body to face her. "Can I ask you something?" he asks. Annie nods.
"Do you believe in reincarnation?"
Annie frowns. "What?"
"You heard me."
"Yes. But why would you ask that?"
Eren scratches his head awkwardly and averts his gaze from her. He doesn't immediately answer. He takes a long breath and massages his hand before facing her again. "You look like someone who reincarnated from the 1940s."
Annie cancels to gulp her punch. She looks at his eyes and he seems serious, but there's a hint of doubt. Her whole body is electrified by something she couldn't understand. Her breath suddenly feels heavy. She feels dizzy. She tries to act like she's okay, and assuming from Eren's response, she nails it.
"Maybe it's because of the dress."
Eren is agape and shakes his head. He is silent for a while. He still looks at her in the eyes and palms his face. He seems exasperated.
"Can I tell you something? I'm going to be honest but it might freak you out."
Hearing the same seriousness that he reflects on his eyes, Annie puts her glass on the table. She takes a deep breath. Her heart is beating faster because somehow she knows this will be crucial. "Go on."
Eren takes a deep breath and releases it over and over. When he looks much calmer, he opens his mouth. "I often had a dream about me knowing you in a whole different place and time." He paused. "We were close. You were my childhood friend. When we were exactly at our age right now, the war started and we were the victims. We were … the Eldian. You know about that, right? About 1940s history? How the world discriminated against the Eldian, tortured them first before killing them until there was no one left from them?"
"I know." Annie swallows her bitter saliva. She holds her head since it suddenly feels heavy. She feels nauseous. Her eyes look at anything but Eren because seeing him brings her a big pang in her chest. She can't breathe. "It has nothing to do with our life. It's just a dream," she tells him and convinces herself. Something inside her head contradicts what she said.
"Are you okay?" Worry fills his voice. "I freaked you out, didn't I?"
"No," she whispers. "I just … I just need some fresh air."
Eren caresses her arm. He helps her to stand up. "Let's go outside."
Annie contemplates Eren's presence beside her right now and later. In the end, she just nods and walks with him. His hand is still holding her arm tightly as if afraid she will fall if he lets go. They sit on the park bench and the dizziness that Annie felt is gone. She palms her face and shakes her head.
"What's wrong with me …," she mumbles.
Eren holds her free hand with both of his hands. "Your hand is so cold." He rubs his hand on her to produce warmth. "But you're sweating. Are you sick?"
"I'm not. This shocks me too. I don't remember ever being sick." She stares at their linked hand and releases her breath. "I feel better now."
Her words do nothing on Eren. He still rubs his hands on hers. Annie lets him and doesn't pull her hand from him.
They sit in the middle of comfortable silence. Annie enjoys the warmth that Eren gives to her. She grasps his hand, it makes him look at her. She shakes her head to tell him nothing, then he continues rubbing his hands on hers.
"You're really a hot-blooded person," she says suddenly. Some people often tell him that because of how easy he gets angry. She notifies him for another meaning.
Eren grins. "I take that as a compliment." He eyes their linked hands. "And you're really an ice queen. Not anymore, though."
Annie smiles slightly. "That's obviously not a compliment."
Eren chuckles and it makes her smile wider. He releases one of his hands and only holds her right hand with his left one. He fills the space between her fingers and takes her hand onto his thigh. He grips it tightly with his hand under.
Her eyesight automatically follows his movement. It makes her stare at his pants, then her gaze is shifting to his tuxedo. She blushes and scratches her cheeks using the back of her free hand. At the same time, something uncomfortable makes her hard to breathe and swallow her saliva.
"Is this …," she asks hesitantly, "your grandfather's tuxedo?"
She eyes his face, anticipating an offended expression. He shows none of it. He bends his neck to stare at his clothes. His tuxedo looks longer than what other students wear. The long collars cross each other. The buttons are not placed on the edge of each side, so the left side of the tuxedo covers some space of the right side.
"It looks old, doesn't it?" His voice sounds deeper.
"Yeah."
"It's mine. I bought it. I don't know why this tuxedo attracted me. My mom chose another for me but I want nothing but this suit." He shrugs. "How about you? Is this your grandma's dress?"
"No. I bought it too," she says. "Hitch didn't like it. She said it was my great grandmother's old dress when we were about to pay."
"These make both of us an oldies couple. What a coincidence." He laughs. His eyes are slanting because of his wide smile. "But it looks good on you. You're beautiful."
"Thank—"
It looks good on you. You're beautiful.
It looks good on you. You're beautiful.
"It looks good on you. You're beautiful," said Eren when he pulled Annie closer to him.
A soldier kicked the door from the outside until it crumbled. The other soldiers broke in and directed their rifles toward everyone in the room. The music that played as the backsound of their slow dance stopped. Loud and muffled screams were everywhere, including one that came from Annie. She looked at Eren and he seemed as terrified as she was.
"Show yourself, Annie Leonhart, Eren Yeager, you disgusting Eldians. You two have been caught faking your identity. We will count until three. If the two of you don't show up until then, we'll shoot everyone in here."
The screams were getting louder and louder. The ballroom had turned into chaos. Everyone was screaming their name in anger. Eren held her hand and asked her to run. He had faced the soldier who talked even before he started counting. He let go of her hand and raised his hands in surrender.
"Don't shoot anyone. I'm Eren Yeager." His hands were trembling but his voice sounded like a brave man.
Annie stepped forward. "I'm," she gulped, "I'm Annie Leonhart."
The soldier laughed and spat on his face. Eren cringed, but he did nothing. Two other soldiers held his arms, his face showed nothing but hopelessness. When the other soldiers touched Annie inappropriately, she screamed. She wriggled and almost kicked and punched the soldiers but the pain that shot her chest stopped her. "I promise we will have a better life someday!" she heard Eren shouting. She looked up and realized he was the one who shot her using one of the soldiers' rifles. Tears were streaming down his face.
Annie covers her mouth to hold her vomit. Tears are wetting her cheeks. She feels incredible pain in her chest. She loses her breath. Eren cups her face and forces her to look straight into his eyes. He is crying and looks as surprised as she is.
"What … was … that …," he asks in the middle of his discontinuous breath.
Annie wriggles her head and steps back. "You killed me," she croaks. "You killed me."
His eyes are widened. "You …," he seems to hesitate, "you saw that too?"
She shakes her head and still covers her mouth. Her sobs are getting harder and harder. The scene that was played after Eren said that the dress looked good on her and she was beautiful showed that they were using the same clothing as what they're using now. His question tells her that the scene was playing inside his head too. She recalls Eren asked her about her belief in reincarnation and told her the story of his dream, how those brought terrible nausea on her, then suddenly everything made sense. That also explained why she had a weird attraction for him ever since they met, why she chose that dress, why he picked the tuxedo, and why she also got his attention although they rarely talked except when he asked her to teach him. It feels like tonight was destined for them to finally see their past life and for Eren to fulfill his promise. But she can't take it at all.
Without answering his question, which was already obvious from her reaction and expression, she runs away. She takes a taxi to go home. Her father is shocked when he sees that his daughter is crying after a night that is supposed to be incredible. He hugs her and doesn't force her to tell him anything. She tells him nothing but the sound of her whimpers.
"We were … the Eldian. You know about that, right? About 1940s history? How the world discriminated against the Eldian, tortured them first before killing them until there was no one left from them?" she recalls what Eren told. She doesn't understand why his words could stop her cry.
…
It has been three weeks since the prom night and she never sees Eren again. Their school is over too, so they don't have any chance to meet. It's not like she wants to meet him anyway. The pain she felt that night still resonates in every breath she takes until now. She can't imagine meeting him at all.
After that night happened, she researches 1940s world history deeper. All she knew was what was taught from school and it didn't feel enough. Seeing how bad the Marleyans treated the Eldians suffocates her. She doesn't know how Eren's mind worked in their past life until he decided to kill her exactly right there, but she feels better imagining herself didn't have to go through the horrible torture. He promised her a better life and maybe this is supposed to be their better life but she feels like she doesn't want to deal with him anymore.
For now, she restricts herself from thinking about anything that's not college-related. She dispels every thought about the reincarnation and refuses to tell that to anyone even Hitch. People will laugh at her for that anyway. She shakes her head when she realizes that she starts thinking about that again. She turns off her studying lamp, closes the curtain, lays herself in the bed, and pulls her blanket to cover her body. When she is about to close her eyes, the sound of something knocking her window prevents her. At the first knock, she just ignores it. But when it has become a repetition, she clicks her tongue and gets up to shout at anyone who disturbs her.
With anger burning within her, she opens the window. She looks downward and sees Eren almost throws a pebble to her window again. Her eyes are widened, she closes the window immediately. She hears Eren screams her name, then a muffled shout follows. She completely ignores what he does and how it could wake his father then make him miserable because her father thought Eren hurt her at the prom. She hears another knock at her window, but she covers her ears using a pillow. She closes her eyes and holds her tears.
Her vibrating phone distracts her. She opens the locked screen. Her breath is gone when she sees Eren was the one who texted her. She chooses to ignore it but she already read it from the notification bar.
Did you see me shoot myself?
Chills hit her skin and bones. She contemplates responding to Eren or not and she decides to open the window again. He is still there. His hand is instructing her to go down and meet him. She releases a long breath before complying. She doesn't care that she is still using her sleepwear.
Eren looks relieved when he sees her walking out of her house. "Thank you for—"
"I don't need your small talks," she cuts him. "Straight to the point."
He takes a deep breath. "Alright." He pauses and looks into her eyes. She tries to hold her tears. "What's your answer to what I asked you in the text?"
Annie looks at her feet. "I didn't." She feels suffocated again.
"Then let me tell you, please," he pleads.
She thinks about it for a while and nods after Eren said please once again.
"Is there any place for us to sit?"
"Chairs on the porch."
"Alright. Please lead me there."
Annie complies without saying anything. They sit on where Annie told him. The wind is cold but it isn't what makes her shiver. She refuses to look at Eren.
"Annie," he calls. "Annie, please look at me."
She shakes her head.
"But would you listen?"
She nods.
"Alright." He pauses for a while. She can hear him drumming his fingers on the table. "I saw me shooting myself after I did it to you. I guess you didn't see that because you didn't have a chance to see it too then. I didn't know the reason at the very first time I saw it at the prom, but now I know. My dreams told me. Over and over."
"Tell me," she croaks. She looks up to hold her tears.
"I thought it was better to die there so we didn't have to go through the torture. I hated seeing you being treated inappropriately there and I couldn't imagine worse than that," he says with a deep voice. He gulps his saliva. Annie eyes him. Perspirations are forming on his forehead. He seems frustrated. "I shot myself because I couldn't believe what I did to you. And I couldn't imagine living a life being tortured by my own memories of me shooting you. I didn't care about what the Marleyans would do to me."
Silence surrounds them, but it's not a comfortable one. Eren doesn't seem to have another word and Annie doesn't say anything. They are quiet for a few minutes. The quietness hurts her even more. Her tongue tastes bitter. She just wants to sleep and forgets everything. When she is about to get up and go back to her house, Eren breaks the silence by asking, "Did you hear what I said that night?"
Annie controls her breathing. She narrows her eyes. "Which one?"
"When I promised us a better life someday." He looks at her. "I think someday is right now. In this life. No one discriminates toward us. This is the better life, Annie."
"Maybe you're right," she answers. "But it doesn't mean we have to go through it together. We are nothing now." She closes her eyes tightly recalling they were lovers in their past life.
Eren seems to want to argue, but he shakes his head after Annie drops a tear. "I …."
"Forget it." Annie wipes her tears. She gets up and walks to her door. Eren holds her arm.
"Wait."
Annie stays still. When Eren doesn't say or do anything, she continues walking.
"I just want you to know that I like you since the first grade, despite the fact that we were attached in our past life or not." She holds her movement when she is about to turn the doorknob. "And I'll always be here for you every time you need me."
Ignoring her fastened heartbeat and the pain that is forming in her chest, she opens the door, walks inside, and closes it without saying anything.
...
Annie couldn't stop thinking about Eren's confession although two months have passed after that. Besides that, what he told about his dreams also comes to her dreams and she could see how close they were since they were kids and feel how much they loved each other. One time, she dreamed about them sharing a kiss in their past life then she woke up with a burning face. She could feel the way his lips moving on hers until now.
When everything about Eren really distracts her from thinking straight, she texts him and asks him to meet her. He complies. They meet in the school although they are the alumnus right now.
"Do you need anything?" Eren asks straight to the point after greeting her. He smiles softly.
Annie blushes. She puts her hand on her chest and can feel how fast her heartbeat has become. She fakes a cough. "What do you have in mind to make this a better life?" she asks coyly. She hates that she doesn't look like the girl she used to be.
Eren pulls her chin and looks into her eyes. She feels she is being observed and her face is burning even more. "Really?" he asks.
Annie is exasperated. "Yes."
He beams at her and it almost makes her smile. He takes her hand and fills the space between her fingers.
"A date would be nice."
Annie loses her control to hold her smile. She clutches his hand. "Alright."