Why does happy moment makes me sad?
Its my birthday today I'm turning 12 years old now, we are praparing for the picnic this afternoon with sensei to celebrate my birthday, we are going to the river near sakura tree my favorite place. Zura help sensei to prepare for the food and the things we need in picnic, The rest of our classmate go grocery and Takasugi and I go to the picnic place to clean.
Takasugi: Happy birthday Gintoki your getting taller and taller.
Me: You are just short chibisugi
Takasugi: What did you called me! You dead fish eye?!
I ran and chibisugi chase me saying he's going to destroy me, how can he destroy me? he cannot destroy me because sensei will be mad at him and knowing takasugi he will always follow what sensei told him.
afternoon came and we started the picnic, we enjoyed the food Zura and shoyo cook for us, when we have a games Zura went out and said he will go back because he forget something. Takasugi always lose in game and he became really moody. Takasugi said that the birthday celebrant should be the one to stike the watermelon with a blindfold, They blindfolded my eyes and gave me a wooden sword, takasugi hold and spin me. I listen to their instruction some saying go to left or right but I listen to takasugi saying that I should go to forward because Zura was there, when I step forward I fall at the river, I don't know how to swim so I panic, then someone hold me it was shoyo sensei. Takasugi apologize and gave me his extra clothes.
Zura came after 1 hour with a Strawberry Cake,Happy birthday Gintoki heres your favorite strawberry cake Zura said. I was so happy, sensei, zura, takasugi and the rest sang happy birthday to me, I blow the candle and wish
"I wish we will always stay together with Shoyo sensei, Zura and Takasugi".
A week after my birthday, its already bedtime but we smelled burining woods so we go to sensei
Shoyo: Shinsuke, Kotaro and Gintoki evacuate your classmates and ask for anyone help to stop the fire.
Takasugi and Zura immediately followed sensei's order. I look at sensei and ask what he will going to do? when a lot of man came and arrest sensei saying he's a bad person teaching a students sword to become rebel. I fight but sensei told me to stop before he go sensei look at me and ask me to promise that I will take care everyone while he's not around and he will be back soon. I cried so much and shout sensei's name.
Takasugi and Zura came back with some people holding a drum and host of water to stop the fire. Takasugi and Zura ask where is sensei and I told them the truth,
Zura: Sensei is not a bad person why do they arrest him?
Takasugi: Lets get sensei.
Later we decided to go to war to save sensei, we took some important things with us and join the Joiu war.
We gathered as many men as we can encourage them to join the war for the freedom, some disagree and some fight with us, its been a year since we participate in war, when a news came that a wealthy merchant from Tosa province will join the war his name is Sakamoto Tatsuma. In the first meeting I thought he is the man among man but he vomitted in our face lucky Zura is behind my back and Takasugi is with me. The war goes one its an never ending war sometimes we win sometimes we lost, even if we won I don't feel like winning because we lost a lot of comrade.
4 years being at war we are already in a highest position and we earned a nickname as
Four Heavenly Kings
Me as Shiroyasha (White Demon)
Takasugi as Kiheitai (Demon Army) Commander
Katsura as mocking name Runaway Kotarou and his true nickname The Noble Youth of Madness
Sakamoto as The Loud Fellow and The Dragon of Katsurahama.
Sometimes we (without Zura) go to the red light district or Yoshiwara Paradise, I pick a Women with Black long hair and brown eyes but Takasugi pick the same, the women decided that he will go with Takasugi I was so mad, Sakamoto told me that I can go to Zura in the camp since Takasugi is staying at the Yoshiwara, I hurried to go back to the camp and look for Zura, I asked some of our people and said they saw Zura in the roof.
I go up to the roof and lay down join Zura star gazing, thats his favorite past time even before the war, he always look up to the sky in the evening when he's sad, upset or worried saying the three stars is his parents and grandmother they are guiding him.
Zura: Gintoki, what are you doing here? I thought you guys will enjoy this evening?
Why not join us Zura? you can relax if you want the enemy is still far and did not make any movement against us.
Zura: Its not Zura, Its Katsura, I'm the general if I leave them and something happen it will be my fault.
I told you when I'm here and calling you Zura, I will be your general and you will always be my Zura.
Zura: Sakamoto and Takasugi called me Zura because they heared it from you, don't give me that nickname.
blah blah blah Zura will always be Zura
Zura look at me disappointed Its not Zura Its Katsura!
I didnt answer he's always line whenever I or we called him that, instead I focuse on looking at the stars with the thought of "Is sensei will be proud of us knowing he risk his life to save us and here we are at the war wasting our life".
after a few minutes I look at Zura hes now asleep, I look at his body he is skinny, hes always malnourish since his a child I look at his face it look so peaceful and calm, hes always clean. I kiss his forehead and said Goodnight my Zura. I guard him so he can sleep peacefully, I will wake him up after 2 hours so we can go back to our tent.
Sakamoto came and ask if I could come with hin to get our supply, when we are on our way there sakamoto said that Takasugi also like Zura.
I know that for him its a competition between us and Zura is the price.
Sakamoto: Who will you think Zura will choose between You and Takasugi?
I don't know, Zura first met Takasugi he followed Takasugi everywhere.
Sakamoto: I think he likes you more than Takasugi
Whatever his decision I will always support Zura.
When we came back our comrade are busy, some with blood on there body some died.
I asked them what happen? Where is Zura and Takasugi. They answered Takasugi is in the medical tent and Zura no where to be found.
Sakamoto: calm down! They are strong They will be okay
we rush to medical tent and saw Takasugi looked like his in too much pain the doctors said that he is poisoned, The sword has a poison and Katsura is missing.
Do everything you can to save Takasugi. I left the camp and look for Zura, knowing him if he's injured and can't walk he will hide himself so that the enemy can't took him.
Sakamoto ask his comrades to find Zura, he also ask the Kiheitai to guard Takasugi.
Its been three days and we still coudnt find Zura, Takasugi woke up and said that Zura help him in fighting and zura ask the people to retreat. He doesnt know where Zura is.
When Takasugi is well enough we launch a strategy to save and look for Zura
Sakamoto and his army look at the East part While Takasugi and some of his army look at the West side, I go to the North part and later South.
I saw Zura behind the woods he's injury is worst he has a high fever and lost too much blood, he breathes slowly, I rush to his side and wake him up.
Zura don't die, please Zura wake up you idiot! I shake him gently. after a few more minutes he woke up
Zura: Gin ... toki...
Zura I will carry you in my back don't die Takasugi will be mad, Sakamoto will be sad theres no more double idiot and I will cry dont die behind my back please Katsura.
Zura didnt answer I run to the medical tent. Takasugi was there and came to us asking how is zura.
The doctor came and treat Zura
Doctor: hes body is so weak and he lost too much blood he need a blood.
I can give him blood, you see I'm so healthy I can give him enough blood
Takasugi: I can also give him blood.
after we donated blood to Zura hoping he will recover as soon as posible, Sakamoto's army came carrying blooded sakamoto, his hand can no longer hold a sword for a samurai he is now dead.
we talk to sakamoto and said that his fight is now over he can rest and we thank him.
Lonely nights came the amanto and the government attack us, and we have to retreat we dont have enough men, Zura is still recovering and Sakamoto and his army is no longer here to help us.
The war will end soon we know we lost it, Katsura not fully recover held his sword again and command us.
Zura woke up hes still weak but he requested that he wanted to sit, so i help him to sit.
Zura: Gintoki... Can I hug you?
without a word I hug Zura so tight for the first time he cry.
Zura: Gintoki... I was so scared that any seconds I will die alone just like when I was a child I'm always alone, I'm so scared to be alone, I dont want to be alone... Im scared that no one will find me, Gintoki
Zura no matter what happen I will always by your side, I will never leave you alone, Me and Takasugi we will never leave you and sensei too, so don't cry anymore.
He's still crying and hug me tight
Zura dont cry, please I will cry too... You dont want to see a handsome perm cry.
Zura: Thank you Gintoki and Its Katsura not Zura
We still hug each other and later Zura ask why did I look for him alone
and I answer Sakamoto and Takasugi help to find you, and I will always find you, I promise I will never leave you, you will never be alone and when your lost I will always find you.
Zura: Its your first promise, you better keep it.
Yes only for you Zura.
At the war Zura and I are back to back Zura said he will commit suicide and I said that live beautifully (just like when I first saw you)
we got separated in war and I saw Takasugi he ask me to make a promise to him to take care of sensei when he died, I remember my promise to sensei that I will protect everyone in behalf of him, so I said to Takasugi that dont die.
its already in the middle of the night and I was captured by the enemy, they said that Zura and Takasugi is also captured and our comrade all died.
before the sun rise I made the biggest decision in my life, I killed Shoyo sensei for the freedom of Katsura and Takasugi.
Takasugi lost his left eye and got mad at me, Zura stayed silent only looking at the head of our sensei while me I look at the ocean and sky. The sun already rise but we still see the darknest.
We made a grave for our comrade and also to our self, we separated, my wish didnt come true, theres always be a sad moments after happiness.
I go back to our old school its not totally burned and change my outfit, Sakamoto came saying he's going to space to trade.
Sakamoto: So what will you do?
I don't know, right now... I just want to enjoy life and move on from the past.
Sakamoto: How about Zura?
We already made a decision, I dont know if he's mad at me like takasugi or if he forgive me... Zura didnt talk since the day our sensei died.
Zura's POV
I was sitting at the river near sakura tree , this is where we celebrate Gintoki's birthday its been 5 years already we are now 17 years old. The 5 year war only bring hurt, sorrow, sadness and trauma in the end sensei died because of us.
Sensei, Takasugi, Sakamoto and Gintoki left me alone in this world.
Sakamoto even though you didnt say goodbye to me I always treat you as one of my bestfriend, I heard that you can no longer hold a sword, I hope you can heal and continue your dream to become the greatest merchant.
Takasugi I hope you can find peace in your mind and stay healthy, I hope you protect sensei's legacy...
Gintoki ... Gintoki you promise me that you will never leave me, but its okay... I hope that you can stay strong and move on you don't deserve this cruel world yet you endure it. You have all the rights to be mad and angry but you endure it for us to be with you. I hope you can now leave the past behind I'm okay, I will be okay so please find your happiness and always carry sensei's words.
I gathered all my strength and get up I started to walk away...
Sensei I promise I will create a world with equal rights for human and amanto.