at we will have together in our future if we care enough to face our problems and work them through. We agree with the idea that love is a spirit that changes life. Love is a way of life that is creative and that transforms. However, love is not reserved for a perfect world. Love is meant for our imperfect world where things go wrong. Love is meant to be a spirit that works in painful situations. Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appears to rule. In other words, love comes into an imperfect world to make it possible to live.
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Love is open. If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships. Although our love for each other and our commitment to each other might prohibit certain actions on our parts, we are not totally and exclusively married to each other. It is a false love that cements one person to another in such a way that he or she is not given room to grow.
Love is selfish. I can only love you if I genuinely love, value, appreciate, and respect myself. If I am empty, then all I can give you is my emptiness. If I feel that I'm complete and worthwhile in myself, then I'm able to give to you out of my fullness. One of the best ways for me to give you love is by fully enjoying myself with you.
Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love. In my love for another, I view her or him as the person she or he can become, while still accepting who and what the person is now. By taking people as they are, we make them worse, but by treating them as if they already were what they ought to be, we help make them better.
To sum it up, mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's individuality. In love, two beings become one and yet remain two.
The Positive Meanings of Love
We'd like to share some of the positive meanings love has for us.
Love means that I know the person I love. I'm aware of the many sides of the other person - not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies and faults. I have an awareness of the other's feelings and thoughts, and I experience something of the core of that person. I can penetrate social masks and roles and see the other person on a deeper level.