Starcrossed

Chapter One

Not Again

Rey startled awake, sitting bolt upright in her bed. She gasped for much needed oxygen. The dream was instantly forgotten but she knew from recent experience that the effects would linger for most of the morning causing her to participate in one sided conversations and more cloudy than clear moments. It had been the same every day for the week since killing Snoke, losing Luke, escaping with the Resistance to a small planet off the grid and since something else too… something she hadn't spoken about to anyone.

She felt guilty allowing everyone to think she had defeated Snoke and his guards single handedly, however the truth was hard to believe and difficult to talk about if not impossible. In between bowing down to the evil Supreme Leader of the First Order and becoming an even more evil and powerful Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren had saved her life and asked her to abandon her friends and join him. Ren had killed Snoke to save her. Why? When he asked her to join him and "take his hand" what did that mean? Everything was always so cryptic with him. And now her feelings about everything, about him were overcharged and chaotic. Just to get through the day, she had to consciously push aside all thoughts of him.

She showered and dressed and sat on the end of her bed and slipped on a leather boot with long leather ties. The climate was temperate on the new planet of Urumtenai and its vast grassy plains were far different from the dry scorched ground of Jaaku. Despite her power, for now she joined the security team for the base. Today she would ride out on patrol on the back of a moornis which were large, furry four legged beasts with a placid nature. She welcomed the challenge of learning to ride and had spent the last few days on one's back that was called Hicca. The quiet communication they shared and its rhythmic gait kept her calm and allowed her mind to start to heal.

Pulling on her second boot she laced it and stood straightening her light jacket. Smoothing back her hair, she then began deftly winding it up into a single braid. It had gotten so long and she made a mental note to cut it soon, maybe that day. Before she could finish, she felt it return.

She felt him.

A rush of cold hit all of her at once resonating from the inside out, a darkness in the depths of her mind that she pushed out immediately but something else pulled at her and settled in her chest. It always accompanied the force bond that brought him to her and she always allowed it to stay but what it was she never quite understood.

Rey turned to face Kylo Ren's imposing form looming in her tiny quarters. His black and silver mask gleamed and the red cracks that ran through it personified his broken and dangerous temperament. His black uniform hugged his muscular body while the heavy cape falling from his shoulders pooled slightly on the floor behind and around his boots. His arms were suspended taught by his sides and hands were balled into fists.

She wasn't afraid, just surprised. And irritated. He always seemed to irritate her for different reasons. Today it was him leering at her with all of "that" on as if she didn't know what was underneath. Ben Solo was behind the facade. Ben Solo's long black hair, wide boyish grin, full lips, smooth hard chest and arms thick and wide that could wrap completely around her. A delicate ache vibrated deep within her. She grit her teeth.

"Why is this happening again? Snoke is dead. Are you doing this?" She asked even though she knew the answer. She sensed his mutual bewilderment the moment he arrived.

"It's not me. I don't know why this happened again." The voice was muffled and robotic.

"So leave," she spat.

"I wish I could. I never want to see you again." His iron words were laced with anger.

"Why is that?" Rey took a step towards him. "You were ready for me to go with you to wherever and do whatever it is you and the First Order do. Kill innocent people? Take over the galaxy?" Rey was trying to inflict pain. She was hurt by his words even though she knew that her reaction was ridiculous. He should be the last person she would ever want to see again, except he wasn't.

"Because you...," he paused and took a few steps towards her, body rigid with restraint. She hadn't ever realized how tall he was and now as he peered down on her, she wished he would take off that stupid helmet. "You…"

"I, what?" Rey tipped her chin up with indignation.

Ren's tone changed and although still not entirely human, his voice spoke softly. "You confuse me."

Her brow furrowed and her anger subsided slightly. "That's not what I thought you were going to say."

Ren tipped his masked face to one side. She could feel his stare boring straight through her even without the pleasure of seeing his face. The pleasure? She shook her head slightly at how inappropriate it was to be thinking about how handsome he was under there at that moment.

"What?" His shocked tone was matched by several quick backwards steps.

"I said that's not what I thought you were going to say." Rey blinked rapidly several times. What did he think he heard? Felt from her? She raised the wall in her mind even higher.

She knew what he meant about her confusing him. He knew more about her than anyone else. He saw into her mind and her fears and most desperate and lonely times but she saw all of that in him in return. She saw the lonely little boy with a temper and the teenager who couldn't control his emotions and the young man with a frightening rage towards his family and those that were supposed to guide him. But just like he saw inky darkness in her, she saw warm blinding light in him.

"So what are you confused about? Tell me."

He was silent.

"Say it." She commanded him this time.

He stood taller somehow, taking up the entire room. His right hand quickly unclipped his lightsaber. Rey flinched as it hissed to full length and glowed and crackled with bright red plasma energy. He kept it down by his side as if to threaten her. She didn't think he would raise it towards her. She wished she could see his face but she hoped he was keeping the ridiculous mask on not to intimidate her, but to hide from her.

In the small confines of her chamber all she could see was red. The light danced off the helmet. It was mesmerizing. She attempted to peer into his mind but his wall held. She raised a hand towards him to pull out anything she could grab hold onto. Her power raged inside. A tiny emotion leaked from a small crack in his wall. A longing. Desire. A flash of her on her back, him poised above her, his bare chest, muscular arms braced on either side of her. She felt an incredible and all encompassing ache in the pit of her stomach for just a moment and then it was gone. Everything was red once again. Gasping for breath, her body trembled.

Ren seethed through gritted teeth, "You think you can save me but you can't. It doesn't matter if there is any light left in me. The things I've done. The monster I've become. I can't be turned. I don't want to be turned."

"Then what do you want?" Tears spilled down her face before she could get a hold of herself. "Why do you always make me cry?" She hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"I want to be rid of you. You and your traitorous, bottom feeding Resistance. I want you out of my head."

But that's not what she felt. His desperation, his loneliness, his desire.

"That's not what I feel from you."
"I don't know what you saw just now but I can tell you this. I want you gone. I want you dead."

He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, nearly a Sith Lord, the enemy of all she loved she fought for. The image she saw of them together should have sickened her except it didn't. And this threat on her life? Lie. Absolute bullshit. And she would tell him that.

A knock on her door, a glance towards it, and when she darted her eyes back Ren was gone.

"Rey?"

Rey opened the door to find Poe Dameron smiling ear to ear. "Good morning sunshine. We have a mission. A droid was discovered a few clicks North. Not likely a probe but you never know. Meet me in the mess hall for breakfast in ten." His brow furrowed sensing something unsettled in her eyes. "You okay?" His empathy was always welcome.

"Yes I'm fine. I'll see you there. Thanks."

Rey closed the door and sat on the edge of her bed. Tears brimmed and she bit her lower lip fighting them from spilling yet again. She'd never had so many emotions all at once. Being a slave and a scavenger was easier if you held back fear and anger and love and affection. Now emotions swirled inside and she couldn't sort them out. Kylo Ren was the most infuriating person she'd ever known and hating him should be easy so why didn't she? Why was she happy the force bond still existed? Why did she want to see his face? Why did she want to touch his hand again?

For the third time that morning a man's voice called her name. "Rey?"

A bluish cloud-like figure bathed in light appeared before her. The image sharpened and Luke Skywalker draped in Jedi robes smiled down at her.

"Luke!?" She hopped off the bed and covered her mouth with her hands in disbelief. "Is it really you? Thank the Maker!"

"Yes it's me, padawan. I'm not very good at this yet and I can't stay long but I have something important to tell you."

Rey's eyes widened and she nodded. She had so many questions for him. So so many.

"You are here on this planet for a reason. Leia chose this world because I told her too. You must go to the beaches of Nymi Rab and find Jedi Master Seely. He will train you. You must go now. You must become a Jedi if you are to face Kylo Ren again in the flesh.." Luke's spectra began to fade.

"Wait! I thought you were the last Jedi? Who is Seely? Luke tell me about Kylo Ren and why do we still share this force bond? Wait!" The words came all at once and she squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on him but she was powerless against his disappearance.

Luke's voice grew more distant with each word. "Rey when the time comes you know what you need to do to defeat Kylo Ren. You know who loves you and who will stand by your side forever."