Before I begin the one-shot, I have some announcements to make. I'm sorry for not updating my "Anybody Else" story for over a week. I'm losing motivation to update it since nobody is really favouriting, following or reviewing it. If you could follow or favourite it, it'd mean so much to me and I'll be updating in no time. I've also been feeling a little under the weather lately so story updates might be slow.
Clyde came home from school, threw his homework into the paper shredder, walked upstairs, slammed his bedroom door, went over to desk and turned on his computer to watch some porn. He tried to go on Pornhub but the website was blocked off for some reason.
"Dad, what is this?! Why are some of the websites blocked off on my computer." Clyde screamed.
"While you were at school today, I was checking your computer to ensure everything was working fine. I found a ton of porn on your search history. I don't want you to be watching crap like that so I installed some locks on your computer so you can't watch anymore porn." Roger called from downstairs.
"Dammit! Why don't I ever clear out my search history?" Clyde muttered.
Since he wasn't able to access Pornhub, he decided to read some smutty stories on instead. As he browsed through the stories, he noticed how his name was on the title and summary of various stories. He clicked on them and read them. Once he finished reading them, he turned off his phone and started crying.
"How could ElectricFox05, also known as Sparky Does Gaming do this to me? How could she write these stories about me?! How could she publicly shame me? Why?!" Clyde bawled.
"Clyde, what are you screaming about?" Roger called from downstairs.
"Nothing, I'm sorry dad." Clyde lied.
He banged his head on the desk repeatedly, bitching about all of those stories.
"What can I do?" he asked himself.
After some more head banging, Clyde came up with an idea.
"There's only one real thing I can do, and that's to make a diss track and post it on YouTube so that way, all of her YouTube friends will mock her!"
Later, Clyde turned on a screen recorder (with no watermark) and turned on a microphone, ready to make a diss track.
"Alright, I need to get on my grind here and think of some shit that rhymes with a 'ky' so I can come up with some complex insults." Clyde started. "Nah, screw it. I'm just going to use whatever shit I can find regardless if it rhymes with 'ky' or not. Now let me look some shit up on Google."
Clyde went onto Google and to search up things about red foxes.
"What do red foxes smell like?" Clyde mumbled to himself as he searched on Google. "I can get her good on this one."
One of Google's top results showed what red foxes smell like.
"Skunk spray and ammonia... ew! Sparky why do you smell so bad, the fuck?" Clyde pretended to gag. "As you guys can see, Sparky smells fucking awful!"
He then looked up images of red foxes.
"Here are some pictures of red foxes in their natural habitat." Clyde went on.
"I think one's Sparky right here. All red foxes look the same, I'm not trying to be racist here but it's a fact." he continued, clicking on a picture of a red fox in the snow.
"Yeah, yeah, so many red foxes here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we all have damn red foxes, they're weird looking cats. I know, right?" Clyde continued as he scrolled down.
"Alright, this one's kind of cute." said Clyde when he clicked on a picture of a fox kit.
"We have all of these fucking red foxes." he said as he continued scrolling down.
Clyde then finds a picture of a red fox tearing an arctic fox's neck.
"Woah, Sparky! What are you doing? I know you hate getting bullied but do you have to rip their necks open? You need to chill out, woah!" Clyde gasped.
He continued to scroll down until he finds a picture of a fox with a bird in its mouth.
"Woah, she's not even looking for deals at the grocery store. She's catching those birds by herself, I swear to god!"
Clyde kept scrolling down until he found a picture of a fox in front of a den.
"There's where Sparky lives. She made a den in my yard, just crashing in my yard and spreading rabies."
He kept on scrolling down even further and then he clicked on a picture of a red fox stalking on a bird.
"Look out bird! Sparky's going to eat you!"
Clyde then clicked on a picture of a red fox with a bunny in its jaws.
"She is a murderer, I swear! She's a murderer! Bruh, I can't fuck with murderers." Clyde insulted. "Sparky, why are you such a murderer? Always killing everyone, why aren't you in prison?"
"Alright, that's going to do it for my diss track. Please review." Clyde concluded.
After editing the video, he published it to YouTube. An hour after the diss track was uploaded, Clyde received about twenty notifications. He clicked on the bell to check them out.
"What is this? How dare you make a diss track on my friend? You are so immature? You're such a butthole? Sparky isn't a murderer? Delete this now? Disliked, reported?" Clyde read the comments out loud.
Just then, a girl (that appeared to be in 9th grade) with black hair, dark brown eyes, a light blue cap, a blue parka lined with coyote fur, a pair of black boots and a pair of black pants teleported into Clyde's bedroom.
"My friend 'blah blah blah' told me that you made a diss track on me." the girl (who was none other than Sparky Does Gaming or ElectricFox05 herself) spoke.
"Uh..." Clyde paused. "Also, why do you smell slightly salty but soapy at the same time? I thought you smelt like skunk spray and ammonia combined."
Sparky didn't say a word, she just walked over to Clyde's computer. She didn't delete the diss track but she deleted Clyde's entire YouTube channel.
"What, no! You can't do that!" Clyde shrieked.
"You're such an idiot. I am not actually a fox, I just portray myself as one. I actually portray myself as an anthropomorphic light blue and white fox that wears a teal and white coat, also known as a furry. I don't have rabies. I'm also not a murderer, I don't murder my bullies, I just bring them to justice without violence. I also don't catch my dinner by myself. Also, you don't have a fox den in your yard either. You also know nothing about foxes, dumbass." Sparky lectured before she teleported out of Clyde's bedroom.
"The fuck..." Clyde muttered before fainting.
Eventually Roger found out about what his son had done and as a result, Clyde got grounded for a week and Roger took away his computer during his grounding. He also received after school detention the next day because he shredded his homework instead of completing it.
A/N: That was my real life persona. From now on, she'll pop in several of my stories from time to time. As for my South Park persona, she'll appear in a future story. My fursona (furry persona) may appear in a future story too but it's unlikely.
I know there are some mistakes in the diss track. I made those mistakes intentionally to do an impression of Clyde.
All of the mistakes in this diss track and what's actually correct:
Wrong: Foxes are cats
Correct: Foxes aren't related to cats, they're more closely related to dogs but they aren't exactly foxes
Wrong: All red foxes look the same
Correct: Red foxes' coats can range from red orange to a yellowish colour. Russian red foxes can even have white or grey coats in addition to the typical red coats.
Wrong: Foxes are murderers that kill for fun
Correct: Foxes do not kill for fun, they will kill extra prey for leftovers
Sorry for turning this into a science lecture on foxes.