Gate: Thus the Universal Empire Conquered There!

AN: Just something I'm writing on the side as a bit of fun. Don't take this one all that seriously because I'm not. 8P

(Well there is SOME seriousness. I do have certain quality standards to uphold.)

9nYou ever have one of those days where something strange and unexpected just comes out of nowhere. That happened today when I returned home from work. I was in a particularly good mood due to work ending earlier than usual today and I was ready for a few extra hours of relaxation. When I opened my front door I was greeted by something I wasn't expecting.

There sitting on my couch watching TV was a little pink bat. Or at least I thought it was a bat. It had the common bat traits like the big ears, nose, and membrane wings but I never heard of any bat with a set of arms & hands or pink fur. It sat there flipping through channels the remote looking comically oversized in its hands. With how ridiculous and small this thing looked I almost thought this thing was a robotic plush toy someone planted to prank me. That was until it turned around and spoke…

The bat having heard the door opened turned around and said in a squeaky but feminine voice "It's about time! I've been waiting for hours and nothing is on! Come on and sit down. I ordered pizza."

While I was still wrapping my head around the idea of a little pink female bat surfing channels in my apartment promises of pizza eroded any fears I had. Taking a seat next to the bat I see a box of pizza on the coffee table though it wasn't any brand I've seen before. On the box was a cartoon bat in a chef's hat twirling its thin french mustache. The logo read "Batty's Pizza! It's out of the multiverse!"

Shrugging I open the box pleased to see that its cheese, my favorite. I pull out a slice marveling at the breathtaking cheese stretch and take a bite. My eyes widen and I feel a tear slowly go down my cheek. The taste is… indescribable. This is without a doubt the best pizza I have ever or will ever have.

"That's the effect Batty's has on most non-bats." said the bat beside him "Well that or your taste buds implode. Oh, do you have any soda?"

Still riding off this pizza high I retrieved two cans of soda from the fridge and sat back down. The two of us then watched TV for quite some time eating pizza and making snarky comments on what we were watching.

[WTF protocol has finished loading. Beginning PANIC subroutine.]

Wait.

Now finished processing the outright absurd situation I found myself in. I glance down at the bat sitting next to me soda can in its tiny hands and completely enraptured by the events onscreen. Whatever it, she I mentally corrected, was she didn't seem dangerous. Maybe a few questions wouldn't go amiss.

Before I could get a word out the bat said "My name is ZeZe and I'm what you call an Alien Space Bat."

I was stunned. Not by her answer but by the fact that she knew what I was going to ask before I even said it. Could she read minds?

"Yes I can read minds. But am I reading your mind? No. It's rude." said the bat idly checking her claws.

If she didn't read your mind then how did…

"Because I've done this thousands of times. 'Who are you' and 'What are you' are always the first questions before 'Why am I here?'"

I raise my eyebrow. "And why are you here?" I ask

"Glad you asked that!" she exclaims "I have a proposition for you!"

"What kind of proposition?"

"How would you like to go on an adventure?"

"What's the catch?" I deadpan

"You can't return home. Ever."

"Pass."

"Wait! You forgot to ask what the privileges were!"

I sighed. This better be good. "And what is worth leaving behind everything I've ever known and loved?"

"How the immortal ruler of many worlds and defender of truth and justice?"

"That's gonna require an explanation."

"Well untold eons ago…" she started what I could only assume was the beginning of a long winded story

"An abridged explanation!"

"Fine! Spoilsport… The short of it is that the multiverse is getting pretty crowded with a lot of 'bad guy' universes. Universes that are making a lot of my people very very nervous. Especially since a few of them have the ability to travel into different universes too. For the first time the Interdimensional Union of Alien Space Bats might be under threat of war."

"And how do I fit into all that?" I asked confused. This seems like something an early 20-something would have no connection to.

"I was getting to that! Don't interrupt!" says an annoyed ZeZe "Now. Due to the new threat we have been preemptively destroying these universes in the… usual manner."

"Usual manner? That sounds sinister."

"Not really. It involves ISOTing a superior civilization to their universe who would proceed to curbstomp them. While fun, it doesn't really deal with the root of the problem. What we need is a standing army. One that can protect us and do some mild policing in the multiverse. That is where you come in…Emperor."

"Wait. Emperor!? I can't be Emperor."

"What? You don't like the title? You can change it if you want. I am leaving governmental details to you after all."

"No I mean I'm not the right kind of guy for this. What you want is a Patton or a Caesar. They're the kind of people you need not… this." I say gesturing to myself

ZeZe simply flaps her little wings and flew over. She then pats me on top of the head. "I think someone just feels a little out of his depth. While already having an experienced leader will be a boon at first there is the chance they might end up going bad themselves. An inexperienced person…"

"Is more easily manipulated?" I say earning a punch to the top of the head. How could something so small hit so hard!?

"Geez. Someone comes with the opportunity of a lifetime and you're looking for the hidden angles. I am a member of THE most powerful creatures to ever exist in this or any universe. What reason do I have to screw over a random human?"

I didn't have a comeback for that so I tried a different approach. "What if I decided to abuse my position and become Atilia Hitler Khan the Terrible?"

"Oh my poor naive human." she said patting me on the head again "I've been watching you for quite sometime so I know you'll never do such a thing. Besides, even if you did I'll just teleport you into a star going supernova and try again with some other much smarter human."

Brushing the threat aside I began to consider accepting. It did seem like a pretty sweet gig. Be the Immortal Emperor of entire universes and curbstomp evil. That was like my dream job which I guess is why I was selected for it. There was just one question my self preservation demanded answering.

"What exactly am I up against?"

"Right now? Nothing. The situation is dire but not urgent. We got plenty of time to mold you into a force to be reckoned with." she laughed upon seeing the surprised look on my face "What? You thought I was going to drop you into a fight with someone like the Draka right off the bat? We'll start off with someone easy and work you up from there."

Since I now knew I'd at least not be dropped into the meat grinder immediately soothed any concerns I had. Nothing ventured, Nothing Gained.

I reach out my hand and took ZeZe's giving it a firm shake.

"Great! You ship out immediately! I suggest you refrain from breathing right… Now."

Wait. Wha- HOLY!