Summary: People say time heals all wounds. Is that why you acquire new ones? Just as the last one starts to dull, the world gives you another. Is it a reminder? Is it the universe making sure you never forget that to have the good, you must get through the bad?
This was something I wrote for Whumptober 2019. I really liked how it turned out, so I decided to make it better.
Scars
Peter Parker has a lot of scars. More than someone his age should have. Some physical, some emotional.
Many have faded to barely-there reminders of half-remembered accidents. Others, well . . . there are a few that he'll never forget. Some that will forever haunt his worst nightmares. Some that were so traumatic they permanently changed the person he was and could have one day been.
They made him the son he once was, the hero he is today, and the big brother he will be.
He was too young to really know his parents. Six happy years with a mother and father weren't enough.
He was just becoming a man when Ben died. Eight short years with the man that influenced Peter Parker into the superhero the world needed. The man that was a true father to a boy that didn't know what he was missing.
He wasn't ready to lose his mentor. Two challenging years with the man that changed the world. A man that showed him what true sacrifice was, taught him how to be a true hero.
Being Spider-Man wasn't an easy job. He got hurt more often than not. He healed fast; the pain was only temporary, sometimes the scars would even disappear if the wound wasn't too bad. Some didn't. The ones that never quite blended back in were reminders.
He had a small burn on the back of his left hand he got when he was seven. He was helping May with dinner one night. Peter had insisted on pancakes. They made eggs and bacon as well at Ben's request.
While May wasn't looking, Peter grabbed the pan of bacon, making bubbling hot grease splash across his hand. He screamed and dropped the pan, startling May enough for a half-cooked pancake to join it on the floor. He ended up with a second-degree burn and a scar that never quite faded.
That scar was a reminder always to be careful and to listen to those that have more experience.
He had a long, thin scar across his right bicep. He got it when he first started as a hero. He was still learning to control his powers and only had a sweatshirt as protection against the criminals.
He'd swooped in to save a woman from being mugged, managed to take the mugger down, but not before he got a good slash in. It had barely registered at the time with all the adrenaline pumping through him, but he felt it later. It had almost stopped bleeding by the time he had come down from the high.
Peeling his shirt off had been the worst part due to the dried blood. He hadn't wanted to tell anyone or stitch it shut himself, so he rummaged around until he found a few butterfly bandages to hold the wound closed long enough for his advanced healing to kick in. It still ached for days afterward.
That scar was a reminder to listen to the sixth sense that came with his newfound powers.
He had a thick, horizontal scar across his ribs. He'd been patrolling not long after Tony gave him his upgraded suit, so he had more control over his powers. Had the weapon been a knife, he would have had no problem dodging. Bullets, on the other hand, were a little trickier. It was a wound he would gladly receive a million times over if he could achieve the same outcome.
He saved a 14-year-old girl from a drive-by shooting. Her brother refused to join a local gang, and in retaliation, they tried to kill his little sister.
Peter had felt that handy dandy sixth sense only moments before his brain connected the dots. He only just managed to tackle her to the ground and shield her with his body. He had bitten back a cry of pain, not wanting to scare her any more than she had already been, as the car sped off. He kept her there for several seconds afterward, only moving when her brother ran up to check on them. He thanked Peter profusely for saving his sister's life before explaining what happened and promising to report the people responsible.
That scar was a reminder that everyone has to make sacrifices. Sometimes, there's no way around it.
He had jagged scars across his chest and shoulder from when he fought Vulture. Considering he'd been in a plane crash and walked through fire, he'd been lucky to walk away mostly okay. Vulture had torn his old suit to shreds, and he hadn't been able to save it. Luckily, Tony gave him a new suit after that.
Those scars didn't bother him so much. They hurt for a while, but the pain always faded. There were other scars, though — ones that never healed, ones that no one could see.
When his parents died, he had been devastated. He cried for days, but May and Ben had been there for him. They filled the emptiness with love and, eventually, the hole in his heart scarred over. He still thought about his parents from time to time, but it wasn't unbearable anymore. He had two people in his life that helped him move forward without them.
Then Ben died, and his whole world tilted on its side. The guilt had nearly crushed him. He'd been right there, and he didn't save the most important man in his life. He held him as the life left his eyes. Peter would never forget his final words, "With great power comes great responsibility."
He couldn't look at May for a long time after that. He had a brand new scar on his heart to add to the one from his parent's deaths.
He didn't know how to move forward. He may not have pulled the trigger, but it was still his fault. He could have saved Ben, and he didn't. If he hadn't been so selfish, his uncle would still be alive. If he had just been a little faster, then Ben wouldn't have died.
He eventually came to understand that it wasn't entirely his fault. He started to hunt for the man that killed his uncle. He searched for months, but he never found the killer.
He came to realize that revenge might not be the answer.
He wondered what Ben would have thought about him hunting down the man that killed him. The only word that came to mind was disappointed. "With great power comes great responsibility." Revenge wasn't what he needed to use his powers for; he was meant to protect, to save those that couldn't save themselves.
So, he vowed never to let harm come to an innocent person so long as he could stop it.
He still felt the hole in his chest; it never seemed to shrink; it never scabbed over. He refused to give up, though. He would keep fighting; it was what Ben would have wanted.
That scar was a reminder that no matter how hard you try, not everyone can be saved.
Then Tony Stark came into his life. He asked for his help and gave him a suit. He cared about Peter even if he wouldn't openly admit it. Everyone could see that — even Peter.
After he stopped Vulture, they started to grow closer. The gaping hole in his heart wasn't so painful anymore. It began to shrink bit by bit.
He stopped feeling guilty for laughing, for being happy, for not thinking about the man he loved with all of his heart every second of every day. He learned that moving forward was okay, even if he hadn't been able to save his uncle.
Tony helped him heal. He had fit into his life like a missing piece. A piece Peter thought he would never find. He showed Peter that he could have a man in his life that loved and cared for him without replacing what Ben had been. Tony could never change the things that Ben had taught him, but he could teach him new things that mattered. He missed his uncle every day, but Tony helped fill the emptiness that his death left behind.
Then Thanos happened. He snapped half of all life out of existence for five years. When Peter came back, he helped save the world; he finally got the hug he always wanted.
Then he watched the most important man in his life die.
Again.
He couldn't save his hero. He watched the life leave him, and all he could do was watch.
Peter didn't know if he would be able to survive another death. There wasn't much room left for more loss. He couldn't fathom how he would possibly begin to heal.
And then he met Morgan Stark. In the years he'd been gone, his hero, mentor, and father figure had a daughter. She was almost the same age he had been when his parents died. She was smart and caring and beautiful. She was so much like Tony.
That's when Peter finally realized how it felt to be on the other end of the pain. Sure, the loss hit him like a ton of bricks, but this time, there was an overwhelming need to help Morgan through her loss.
That's when he, Peter Parker, swore to those who had passed that he would look after her. He would teach her everything he knew; tell her stories about her father; protect her from anything, and everything that tried to bring her harm. He would do for her what Ben and Tony had done for him. He would help her heart heal
And if his heart healed in the process, then he would smile and thank the universe for the lifeline it had thrown him when he thought he would drown in a sea of loss.
. . . . .
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